Chapter Forty-six
It was dark when Buck opened his eyes. He lay quietly and listened to the sounds around him. He could hear someone else whispering in the room, but he couldn't see who it was. He moved to try and see the person, and pain immediately overwhelmed him. He couldn't stop the moan that escaped his lips as he tried to fight back the darkness. After a few seconds, he realized someone was talking to him.
"I think it will be best if you don't move too much," the voice was saying.
Buck thought he'd heard the voice before, but couldn't come up with a name. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself looking into the face of a total stranger.
"Where am I?" he finally managed to ask.
"You're at the Pony Express Way Station outside Sweetwater," the man answered.
"Am I supposed to know you?" Buck asked, concern filling his voice.
The man shook his head. "I'm Doc Barnes. I just arrived in town last week so you haven't met me before now."
Buck smiled weakly. "That's good to know. I was afraid that I'd forgotten something important."
Doc returned the smile. "I think your head is fine. You just need to stay as still as possible the next couple of days so your ribs can mend. If it pulls apart again, I'm afraid it might end up poking into your lung."
Buck vaguely remembered Teaspoon mentioning something about that happening. He hadn't thought it sounded any better then than it did now. He nodded to let the doctor know he understood. "Did you check on Ike?" he asked. "Is he alright?"
Doc turned to someone in the back of the room. "Is that the other boy?" he asked.
Teaspoon nodded. "That's him," he replied.
"He'll be fine with a little rest and a lot of water," the doctor replied.
Buck smiled. "That's good to know," he said. "That means it was worth the effort to get him out." He closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer of thanks.
Doc turned to Teaspoon once more. "I'm not kidding about the staying still. I wouldn't even move him up to the other house for a couple of days; just this little bit of conversation is wearing him out. He needs rest even more than the other boy does."
Teaspoon nodded. "Thanks, Doc," he said. "I'll be sure he stays put for the next couple of days. How about eating? Is it alright if we sit him up for that?"
Doc Barnes nodded. "Just move him real slow, and be sure someone is supporting his side when he moves."
Teaspoon once more thanked the doctor and showed him out. He came back in the room just as Buck once more opened his eyes. He quickly moved so he was at Buck's side and prevented him from once more trying to sit. "I realize this is going to be difficult for you, but I need you to stay lying down unless someone helps you sit. Doc wasn't fooling about you not moving too much. He's real worried that your ribs won't stay together if you move around a lot."
Buck nodded his understanding. "I was just trying to figure out where I am," he said. "This isn't the bunk house. It's too quiet."
"You're in my room," Teaspoon explained. "It was the closest place to put you. Hope you don't mind."
Buck smiled. "I don't mind," he said, "but what about you? Where are you going to stay?"
"I've slept on the ground before," Teaspoon replied. "I can do it again for a couple of days. As soon as you're strong enough, we'll move you over to the main house with Ike. I figure the both of you can do with about a week's rest before we start you working again."
Buck looked at Teaspoon to see if he was serious. "You mean I can have my job back?" he asked.
"Never got around to telling anyone you'd quit," Teaspoon replied. "So as far as everyone is concerned you still work here. Unless you haven't changed your mind about leaving, that is."
Buck sighed in relief. "I was hoping I'd be able to get you to let me do something around here," he said.
Teaspoon pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. "If you don't mind me prying," he said, "where were you planning on going before Kid found you?"
"I was going to go back to the village and talk to Red Bear," Buck said. "When I asked for guidance that morning, I kept seeing him. I'm not sure why because I'd already told him I couldn't go back there to live." His hand moved to the cut on his chest and he closed his eyes as he remembered Red Bear's parting words - "I'll cry for you when I show them your blood."
Teaspoon noticed the motion. "That where this came from?" he asked, as he too touched the cut on Buck's chest.
Buck simply nodded.
"Needed something to show them when he told them of your death?" Teaspoon asked.
Buck opened his eyes and looked at Teaspoon as he once more nodded.
"Told you I've lived with Indians a while," Teaspoon said with a smile. "I don't always understand their ways, but I know most of them."
Buck returned the smile.
Teaspoon waited a few seconds before continuing, "So, why didn't you just stay there after you got Ike out? Ike told us about the agreement you made to get him out."
Buck once more closed his eyes. "After I was finished with all the trials, Red Bear told me that I should return here. He realized that I cared for everyone here too much to stay away. So,"
Teaspoon interrupted when Buck paused, "you decided to make sure Ike was taken care of and see if just maybe I could find something for you to do."
Buck nodded. He opened his eyes and looked at Teaspoon. "I'm glad you are willing to let me stay. I really don't have anywhere else to go."
Teaspoon nodded. "You need to get some rest," he said. "I should leave and let you sleep."
Buck took a deep breath and moaned as the pain in his side reminded him why he was lying here. "Would you mind staying here for a bit?" he asked. "I'm afraid I won't get to sleep if you leave."
Teaspoon looked at the boy. "Why?" he asked.
"I ..." Buck paused. He wasn't sure how to explain. He just knew that if he was left alone in this strange place he wouldn't feel safe. He once more took as deep a breath as he was comfortable taking to steady his nerves. He hoped that once he told Teaspoon what he was about to say, he wouldn't think less of him. "I have trouble getting to sleep when I'm in a strange place," he said. "I don't feel safe so I keep waking myself up to be sure nothing is going to happen to me. I'm not sure why, I..." He once more stopped speaking and had to work at controlling his voice.
Teaspoon placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I'll stay here as long as you want me to," he said, trying to reassure Buck that he was safe and nothing was going to hurt him.
Buck smiled and settled back on the bed as best he could. His side hurt and he was having difficulty breathing. Teaspoon noticed this and suggested, "Why don't I help you move so you're in a better position? Maybe if you lay on your side or stomach it would help." He moved slowly to pull Buck over.
"I'll be fine," Buck said, sinking back as far into the bed as he could. "I'm really uncomfortable lying on my stomach; it doesn't feel safe." After a brief pause, he added, "I guess I could try lying on my side, but I'm afraid it will be the same."
Teaspoon nodded. "Makes you feel exposed," he said. "I'm the same way." He smiled, "You need to remember that I'm here with you and I promise I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe here."
Buck nodded. "I'll try," he said.
It took them a few minutes, but they finally managed to move Buck into a more comfortable position. Teaspoon sat next to him and talked quietly to him until his breathing became steady and slow. When Buck drifted off, Teaspoon carefully moved to where he could stretch out and get a bit of sleep himself.
It hadn't been more than a few minutes, and Buck was no longer in a restful sleep. It was as if he was trying to protect himself from someone who was trying to hurt him. He tried to move, but the pain would stop him. He moaned softly and tried to turn so he was once more lying on his back.
Teaspoon quickly moved to his side. He took hold of him and kept him from moving too much. As he held him, he repeated, "You're safe here; no one's going to hurt you. I won't let them. Remember you're safe; you're with family; you're home."
Another day and night alone This broken house is not my home There is danger in this place Four years have made me understand; I tremble when you raise your hand There is hatred in your face I love you, but I'd leave you if I knew just where to go I'm far too small to make it on my own
I need to hide away and find a little love I need to find a safe new shelter from this unrelenting storm I am frightened and confused I am torn and I'm abused And I just need someone to take me in their arms So take me in your arms
There's Someone watching over you Who knows just what you're going through There are angels in this place And every time you start to cry Another tear forms in His eye There is sorrow in His face Now don't you start to worry Because Heaven is so far He has many friends on earth Who serve to be His open arms
And He says, Come and hide yourself within my love I will be your shelter; I will calm the raging storm I was treated badly, too So now I'm close enough to you And I will be the One to take you in My arms I'll take you in my arms So just lay your little head upon my shoulder And wrap your arms so tight around my neck And soak my shirt with tears, we'll cry together Let it out, Let Him in You can start to breath again
When I say, Come and hide yourself within my love I will be your father; I will take you in my home You don't have to be afraid I will keep each promise made And I will be the one to take you in my arms You're safe within these arms