Chapter Nine

Lou sat up with a start. "The horse," she said, moving to gather her clothes.

"Stay here," said Buck. "I'll get him." He quickly grabbed his pants and pulled them on. He was out the door before Lou could say anything else. She wrapped the blanket around herself and began to look around the cabin.

There wasn't much there besides the pallet and a small stack of firewood. When the rain started to fall, Lou started a fire in the fireplace so that the cabin would be warm upon Buck's return. She then gathered their clothing from where it had fallen when they disrobed.

She thought about putting her dress back on, but decided to wait until Buck's return. In what seemed like no time, he was back. The horse and wagon were safe in the small lean-to that was beside the cabin. As Buck came back to Lou's side he said, "I think I managed to save the picnic." He handed her the basket.

She took it from him. "Get out of those wet clothes," she told him, "before you catch a cold." When she handed him the blanket, Buck smiled at her.

She shook her head and picked up her dress. "Not right now," she said. "We both need some food and some rest."

Buck nodded and quickly wrapped himself in the blanket. He hung his pants by the fire. He decided to wait to get dressed until he could get fully dressed so he rearranged the blanket around his waist and went to assist Lou.

She smiled at him. "Just have a seat by the fire," she said. "I'll get this ready; after all it was my idea to have the picnic, remember?"

Buck smiled back at her. "I remember," he said as he moved to the pallet near the fire. "It was a wonderful idea, by the way."

Lou quickly spread out the picnic blanket and food. Soon she and Buck were enjoying themselves as the rain continued to fall. After the pleasant meal, Buck wrapped Lou in an embrace. "Thank you for the best day of my life," he said, as he kissed her on the forehead. "I could die now and still be happy."

Lou snuggled into his chest. "I know exactly how you feel," she said.

They spent the next few minutes once more enjoying the closeness of each other. Then Lou turned and kissed Buck on the cheek. "We need to get back to town," she said. "I promised the man at the hotel I'd bring back his basket before dark; someone else needs it in the morning."

Buck simply nodded. "As soon as the rain stops," he whispered into her hair. All of a sudden he was really tired. "I think I'll take a nap until then." He moved to the pallet and stretched out. "Why don't you rest with me?"

Lou nodded. "I'll just pack this up first," she said.

When she finished putting away the few picnic supplies that were left, she turned to where Buck lay sleeping. She listened to his rhythmic breathing for a few seconds before once more removing her dress. Clad in just her undergarments, she snuggled next to him and was soon sleeping safe within his arms.

The bright afternoon sun woke them both. Buck gently kissed the back of Lou's neck before moving to gather his clothing. "I wish we didn't have to leave," he said, as he began to dress.

Lou nodded her agreement. "I could stay here forever; just the two of us," she said, as she stood and pulled on her dress. "This has been such a wonderful day."

Once they were both clothed, Buck took Lou's hand and pulled her to him. As he wrapped her in his arms, he whispered, "Please tell me it doesn't have to end here. I think I'd rather die than give you up."

Lou lifted her head until she could gaze into his eyes. "It doesn't have to end," she whispered back, as she moved her mouth closer to his. "I don't want it to ever end; I want you to hold me forever."

Buck quickly captured her lips with his own and the two shared a kiss of promise. When they separated, Lou said, "As much as I don't want this day to end I'm sorry to say that we really do need to be getting back to town. We'll have to get up early in the morning in order to get back to Sweetwater by noon."

Buck released his hold on her as he nodded his agreement. "I almost forgot we had some place else we needed to be," he said as the moved to pick up the picnic basket. This done, he turned to take Lou's hand in his own. He once more pulled her to him and planted a kiss on her forehead before leading her outside to the buckboard and horse.

Buck helped Lou get into the wagon and then quickly hooked up the horse. He went back into the cabin and checked to make sure the fire was out before once more joining Lou. As he mounted the buckboard it occurred to him that they had a few important decisions to make - how were they going to explain to Kid what had happened? Did they want everyone to know? Would they still be able to work with each other and not let something like this afternoon over take them?

The ride back to town was a silent one; both riders were contemplating the future that lay before them. One they both desperately wanted to share with each other, but were unsure of how that was to happen. The only thing Buck knew for certain was that he couldn't go back to the way things were before. He felt some reassurance that Lou felt this way too when after just a few minutes on the road, she placed her hand on his leg and left it there all the way back to town.

When they got back to the hotel, they dropped off the picnic basket and headed up to their room. Lou began gathering up their extra clothes, and when Buck began to help her, she stopped him.

"I can do it," she smiled.

Buck shook his head, "I'm feeling fine now. Let me help you."

"You don't need to. Really, I'd like to do it."

He looked at her, trying to figure out the expression on her face. Deciding that she might need some time to herself, he gave in.

"Alright, I guess I can go check on the horses at the livery." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, then headed toward the door.

"Buck...don't be gone long." Lou smiled.

Buck was so happy that he almost felt light headed. He was head-over-heels in love with Lou, and she loved him back. Nothing else mattered. He knew that things would be difficult when they got back home, but if he had Lou, whatever he went through would be worth it.

Opening the door to their room when he returned, Buck took in the scene before him. Everything was tided up, clothes neatly folded. Lou had changed the sheets and turned back the bed, and there was a fire going. Lou sat looking out the window, the late afternoon sun making her hair shine.

Buck shut the door quietly and walked up behind Lou. If she heard him, she showed no signs of it. He touched her lightly on the shoulder and she leaned over to rest her cheek on his hand.

"The room looks nice. You're going to spoil me." He sat down on his heels and put his arm around her.

Staring out the window, Lou said nothing.

"Are you hungry? Louise?"

When he called her Louise, Lou glanced at him, then looked away.

Buck felt a knot in his stomach. Even after all of her assurances to the contrary, what if Lou had changed her mind?

"What is it?" he asked softly

Lou just shook her head and gave him a small smile.

"You said no secrets," Buck reminded her.

Louise shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just being silly."

Buck turned her face to look at him, gently caressing her cheek.

"Tell me," he said.

"I don't want to go back." she whispered. "I mean, I know we have to, and I want to, but...I don't want this to end." she looked around the room, and then back at Buck.

"It won't," he assured her.

"Yes it will," Lou said in a quivering voice. "Nothing will be the same once we get home."

She looked at Buck, and when he backed away from her slightly, she realized what he was thinking.

"I'm not talking about how I feel, Buck." She took hold of his hand. "I just mean, I won't be Louise anymore."

Buck relaxed slightly, but he was thoroughly confused.

"I miss being able to dress like this. I like taking care of you, and doing all the things that a woman is supposed to do for..." she didn't finish the sentence.

"I love riding with all of you, but sometimes I just want to be Louise, not Lou." She looked out the window at the street below.

"Once we're back in Sweetwater, I won't even be able to hold your hand when I want to."

Buck smiled and pulled her close for a hug. He was touched beyond words.

"I'm pretty used to it now, but sometimes, when we're in town, I feel like everybody's watching me. Waiting for me to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing. I used to worry all the time that Teaspoon would be able to figure me out. I just want to be myself."

"Does that make any sense?" she asked.

Buck looked at her with an enigmatic smile, and Lou suddenly realized that he must know exactly how she felt.

He was a Kiowa, living in the white world. He spent every moment of every day, just trying to fit in, trying not to be noticed - just like she did.

"Yes," He answered quietly.

Lou felt like a fool. She turned away, embarrassed. "Oh Buck, I'm sorry. That was such a stupid thing to say..."

"No it wasn't. That's how you feel."

Lou just looked at him. There was no way to take back what she had said.

Buck took both her hands in his. "Do you know that I have felt more like 'myself' with you in the past couple of days, than I have in…a very long time. And when I look at you, I see the girl who came down the stairs at Emma's, ready to do battle with anybody that would dare laugh at seeing her in a dress, and then blushed when we all stood there staring at her."

Lou laughed at the memory.

"I fell in love with you that day," Buck said. "I just wasn't brave enough to tell you. I was so sure that you would laugh at me, or, worse yet, be insulted that I'd even thought you'd be interested." He looked at the ground as the memories of having girls turn away from his offers of friendship came to his mind.

Lou placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry to have brought back bad memories," she said. "I promise to never make you feel that way. The feelings I have for you aren't going to change."

Buck looked up at her and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I know," he said. "I feel the same way about you."

They sat for a few minutes before Lou spoke once more, "Maybe Emma will have an idea about what we can do. I'll talk to her when we get back."

Buck smiled at her and nodded. "That's a good idea," he said. "I'm sure she'll come up with something."

He stood and sighed. "I just wish I knew how we were going to tell Kid. I don't want him to be hurt, but I..."

Lou joined him and placed her hand to his lips. "Don't worry about that now," she said. "I know something will come to us. I'm also fairly certain that he won't be as surprised as you think he's going to be." With those words, she turned and headed toward the door. "Shall we go get something to eat before we turn in for the evening?"

"Lou...before we go...I have something for you."

Lou turned to see Buck taking a wrapped box out of his pocket.

"When did you...?"

Buck smiled at her, suddenly feeling shy. "Earlier, when I went to check on the horses."

Lou took the box from him and stood staring at it.

"Well, open it." he urged her.

With a smile, Lou untied the ribbon from the box and opened it.

Inside was a small cameo necklace on a ribbon. The ribbon and the background of the cameo were both a pale shade of rose. The color matched the flower print of her dress almost perfectly.

"Oh my," Lou gasped in surprise. "It's beautiful."

"I thought it would look nice with your dress." Buck could feel himself blushing, and wondered why he suddenly felt awkward, given what had happened earlier in the day.

"Thank you. I love it." Lou felt tears well up in her eyes as she reached up to hug Buck tightly around the neck.

They stood like that for a moment, arms around each other, then Buck spoke. "Now what do you say we go to dinner, so that everybody can see what a lucky man I am?"

Lou blushed as she stepped out of the embrace and handed Buck the necklace. "Put it on me, please," she said.

Buck took the ribbon and quickly tied it around Lou's neck. "You look beautiful," he said, as he tenderly kissed the top of her head. "I really am a lucky man; I never thought I'd ever be blessed with the love of such a wonderful person."

Lou turned to once more hug Buck. "I'm a lucky woman," she said. "Most men would never understand my need to do what I do." She slowly let go of Buck. "Now, let's go. I've suddenly noticed that I'm very hungry."

Buck moved and opened the door. "After you, Miss McCloud," he said, with a wink.

The two of them made their way through the town to the diner. They decided that it would be a nicer place to eat than the saloon. They picked an isolated table back in the corner to enjoy the simple meal before heading back to the hotel for one last night together as Buck and Louise - tomorrow they would have to go back to being Buck and Lou, fellow riders for the pony express.