WHEN LOVE REMAINS

BY HBK

Disclaimer: This story contain sexual situations and is a fan fic, i.e. is not authorized or approved by the original creators of the characters. The characters belong to Ogiens/Kane Production and Ed Spielman.

Kid dismounted from Katy, his face sweaty and tanned by the bright afternoon sun. He just came home from the ranch, which he and his fellow young riders owned. "Get some rest, Katy," he told his pride and joy cheerfully. "I know I will." He was working in the ranch even before the break of sunrise. Buck and Cody just arrived when he decided to leave. Kid's thoughts were clouded with a mixture of sadness and joy as he reflected in the old days of the Pony Express.

He smiled as he started for the house. He and Lou had been married in almost a year, and it seemed like everyday he was finding something that he loved about her. He was surprised to see an unfamiliar horse tied by the tree near their house. This is strange, he thought as a frown emerged on his handsome face. "Lou? Where are you?" he called as he carefully approached the house. Once he entered the kitchen, his eyes grew wide with sudden shock. "Who are you, and why are you eating food from my house?"

A young man, about a couple of years older than Kid looked up with a smile in his face. His blue eyes were darker than Kid's. His square jaw tightened when Kid did not say anything.

"Who are you?" Kid asked him again, unsure whether he should draw his gun or not on the defenseless man.

The man's eyes lit up and smiled, revealing his pearly-white teeth. "I should be asking you the same thing," he said slowly without fear or panic in his eyes.

"Get out of my house," yelled Kid angrily. He could not control himself anymore. Who does he think he is anyway?

"I'm sorry, but I'm staying. I don't know who you are, but I don't like ya already. You can't order me around. Besides I listen to noone but Miss Louise McCloud," he said with a smirk on his face.

Miss Louise McCloud? Kid thought with an astonished look. What the hell is going on here? This dumb ass doesn't even know she's married.

Kid did not bother to argue with the man. He hurriedly went to their bedroom to look for his beloved. Everything seemed to be in order with their baby Shawn-Jed sleeping on their large bed. Kid bent down and gave his one-month old baby a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Lou, where are you?" he called louder this time.

"Honey, is that you?" he heard Lou's sweet voice called from the bathroom.

I wonder who she's calling 'honey', Kid thought sourly as a thought about the man in their kitchen crossed his mind.

"Honey?" she called again. "Kid, this isn't funny. Are you there?"

Kid sighed with relief as he realized she was talking to him the whole time. He slowly opened the door and found his wife in the tub.

Lou smiled at him with love and overwhelming admiration in her eyes. He was still the same person she married almost a year ago. He's so gorgeous. He's really something. She noticed that he still did not say anything, and the smile immediately left her face. "Kid, what's the matter? Are you tired? Do you wanna join me in the tub? There's plenty of room here," she said cheerfully.

I wonder why she's such in a playful mood, Kid thought as he approached her. He knelt down and kissed her cheek softly. He slowly turned away, deciding to inquire about the man that bothered him so much when she got out of the tub.

"Kid," she called after him with more than a hint of irritation in her voice. "That ain't a way to greet a wife after she hasn't seen you since five o'clock this morning. Why, she hasn't seen you in almost twelve hours. And all you give me is a kiss on the cheek?" The usual Kid would normally turn around and apologize then come to her waiting arms. When Kid shut the door softly, she knew something was wrong with her husband. She washed herself quickly and went out with only a robe on. She found him on the bed, playing pick-a-boo with their baby.

Kid's eyes wandered from his baby to his wife. He watched her as she put on her dress. She's definitely everything I could ever hope for in a woman. She's so lovely, so beautiful, so perfect, so pretty, so delicate... The list would have continued on forever in his mind, but she interrupted his thoughts when she looked straight in his eyes. He blushed, knowing she caught him looking at her hungrily.

Lou smiled and felt the old Kid returning back. She sat close to him on the bed and said, "Well, I guess if my husband doesn't wanna give me a kiss, then I'll have to come and get it myself." She put her arms around his neck and began kissing his lips with so much intensity and passion.

She definitely missed me, Kid thought happily as he felt himself returning her passionate kisses. Soon his hands were unbuttoning her dress and touching her soft breasts.

Lou realized where this could lead to and knew she needed to stop it. "Kid, please, not now."

Kid immediately stopped upon her request, and she quickly grabbed his hand. He stared into her eyes. "Who is he? Why is he here? And why does he call you 'Miss'?"

She still did not let go of his hand even though she felt him pulling it away from her. "The man in our house?" she asked with an innocent smile on her lovely face that irritated Kid.

"Yes, Lou. The man in our house, the blond guy in our kitchen eating all our food. Yes, Lou, the same guy who doesn't even know who the hell I am. The guy who could have walked in the bathroom any minute when you were in the tub. Yes, Lou, I'm talking about that guy."

"Why, Kid, you're not getting jealous, are you?" she asked him with a teasing grin on her face. She reached for his lips, but he turned his head away. "Listen, he's a friend of mine."

"Oh yeah? So how come you didn't tell him you were married, huh?"

"I did. He just said he could never picture it 'cause I look so tiny or young or whatever. He said he wants to remember me the way I was before. You know, it's hard letting go of the past," she said softly. "Besides, he doesn't know what you look like so how would he know you were my husband?"

"He knew. I'm sure about that. If he didn't, why didn't he stop me from coming in the bedroom?"

Lou sighed. She suddenly became tired. "Are we gonna argue again, Kid? I mean it's only been two weeks since Samantha arrived here. I don't wanna lose you again, Kid. I really thought I did two weeks ago."

Kid tried not to think about the bittersweet memories that were gathered from Samantha's return. Lou's jealousy and insecurities caused her to pull away from him. He almost lost her that time as she promised to leave; according to her, it would hurt more if he left her. Now things were resuming to how they were, and he did not want to interrupt the smooth flow of things between them. "Lou, I'm sorry. I was just worried about you."

Lou smiled and walked slowly to him as she put her arms around his neck. "He's a friend of mine. Someone from the past."

Kid waited for her to finish, but when she did not he said, "And?"

"Please, Kid, I don't wanna think about it right now. It's just too emotional to look back to, but I promise to tell you everything when I'm ready. Besides, there ain't no reason to bring it out now," she said softly, her eyes pleading with his.

He looked away from her, upset of the fact that she still had not told him everything about her past. "Okay, whatever you say. Just as long as he doesn't cause or bring trouble with him, I guess he can stay. And just as long as he doesn't stay forever," he concluded.

She smiled sweetly as she reached up to kiss him on the lips. "Kid, you've got nothing to worry about. Right now, all you need to know is that he's a good man. He's just like one of the boys. Just think of him like he's family . . . like Jimmy."

Kid made a face, remembering the competition regarding Lou between he and Jimmy in the past. "What's his name?"

"Michael Fierceson," she said as she began to unbutton his shirt.

He stopped her hands when he felt them tugging at the top of his pants. "Lou, let's not do this right now."

Lou frowned in disappointment. "Well, I'm sorry, Kid, if I'm not good enough for you right now. Sorry for missing you, for wanting to hold you."

Kid suddenly felt bad. "Honey, I didn't mean it like that. I don't ever wanna have sex with you."

Lou's eyes widened with surprise. She never felt so unwanted. She turned away, avoiding looking into his eyes. She felt herself beginning to cry.

He suddenly realized what his innocent words meant to her. He quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her into his embrace. "Louise, love, that's not what I meant." He was angry with himself when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Kid, I know exactly what you meant," she said as she began crying in his chest. "You meant that I'm not woman enough for you, that I'm not the same anymore after I had the baby."

Kid shook his head furiously. God, Lou, you're as perfect now as you were before we had our baby, maybe even more beautiful now. "No, honey. I meant that I don't wanna have sex with you. I wanna make love to you. And what you wanted to happen minutes ago in this room wasn't makin' love but sex - - and sex ain't something I could ever give you."

Lou rolled her eyes, thinking how ridiculous the conversation was. "Then let's make love."

Kid let out a soft chuckle as his fingers gently brushed her cheeks. "That usually lasts more than two hours. We have a visitor, Lou, remember?"

Lou groaned as she watched him buttoned his shirt and put on his hat. "Why do you always do this to me?"

"Do what?"

"Keeping me waiting."

Kid sighed as he remembered how long he waited for her to finally marry him. "Tell me about it." He carried his son in his arms and opened the door for his wife.

"I love you, Kid. No matter what happens, I love you, and I'll always do."

Kid looked deeply into her eyes and whispered, "I love you too, Lou. I love you more than you'll ever know."

"Ahem," a cough interrupted the two lovers' passionate kiss.

"Michael," Lou said shyly with a light blush on her cheek. "This is Kid, my husband."

The young man nodded and tipped his hat to Kid who smiled. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't know."

Kid nodded. "It's all right. I wasn't so hospitable toward you anyway."

"Well, Kid and Miss Louise, I'm gonna take my horse for a ride. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

When Michael closed the door, Kid turned to Lou, "Miss Louise?"

"We already talked about that," she told him. "He just can't picture me being married, that's all. He just wanna remember me the way I was."

"How can he not picture you married? It's right in front of his eyes."

"Kid, let's forget about him, all right?" she said softly as she opened the door of their bedroom. "Did he say he'd be back in a couple of hours?"

He knew exactly what she was thinking with that naughty smile on her beautiful face. He put the baby back in his crib and carried his wife to bed. He slowly pulled her legs up so that they encompassed his strong hips. He kissed her deeply and caressed the inside of her thighs hungrily. Her fingers were unbuttoning his shirt as he held her breasts in his hands. She took his hardened manhood in her hands while he continued to suck on the sensitive part of her neck. She felt his lips brushing softly on her breasts; however, soon his mouth was swallowing as much of her breasts as it could. She moaned his name in pleasure as she
felt his fingers in her most sensitive part. "Kid, please . . . now. . . oh..."

Kid reached up and kissed her hungrily. "Let's take it slow, love. We've got plenty of time."

"We only have two hours," she complained between their kisses.

Kid chuckled as he lowered himself to pleasure her orally. He loved everything about her, her smile, her sweet scent, her beautiful eyes, her gently voice whispering 'I love you' in his ears, her soft skin, her tender kisses...

Lou snuggled closer to him as they lie awake in the dark. She was trying to keep herself from sleeping by caressing her husband's chest slowly with her fingers. By the way he was breathing, she knew he already fell asleep after a long and tiring day. She kissed her lips gently and whispered, "I'm sorry." She was about to leave the bed when she felt his strong hands on her waist. "Kid, go back to sleep."

He looked at her with those beautiful eyes of his. "Sorry for what?"

She smiled as she sat on his lap. "For not giving you a chance to rest. I feel so selfish. I made you make love to me for nearly three hours when you were working at the ranch since five in the morning. Now get your rest. I won't bother you tonight. I promise."

Kid closed his eyes. Yes, he was tired, but there was nothing that happened hours ago that he would change. "Where are you goin'?"

"Make supper," she said as she began to get dressed. "I'll bring yours here. You don't have to get up."

He would like nothing better than to eat in bed, but the image of Lou and Michael eating supper alone flashed in his mind. "No, honey, I'll join you."

"Are you sure? You look really exhausted. It's all my fault."

He laughed softly. "It ain't your fault that you're the only woman I ever made love to like that."

Lou eyed him suspiciously. "So I assume you've made love to many women before."

Kid frowned as he realized that once again his words came out wrong. "That's not what I meant. You know, I've never been too good with words."

Lou nodded and placed the baby in his arms. "Shawn-Jed, Daddy's gonna take care of you for now while I make supper." She kissed the sleepy baby before walking out of the room.

"Hey there, Miss Louise," Michael greeted her. He was helping Teresa with her homework.

"You know, Mike. You outta stop calling me 'Miss'. It really bothers Kid."

"Aw, c'mon, Louise. It's only a title to a name, nothing more."

Lou sighed as she began to prepare dinner. "Well, I can see you already made yourself at home. You even introduced yourself to my sister."

Michael smiled. His blond hair shone into shades of gold in the light. His dark blue eyes were smiling with joy as he made his way to his old friend. "So where's that brother of yours anyway?"

Lou rolled her eyes as she handed him plates to put on the table. "He's probably out with Cody. They're getting mighty friendly these days. I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

Michael smiled as he helped her prepare supper. "Isn't Cody the funny rider?"

"Yeah, but trust me when I tell you that his jokes can annoy the heck out of you from time to time. One time he published this story about the riders. He called me the runt of the litter. I was so upset with that, but you should see the reaction of the other guys. Noah was so mad at him that he was so tempted to whip Cody. And Teaspoon was the one who thought about the revenge. We made Cody believe that we were really going to publish a story about him. We made fun of his big mouth, the way he rides . . . ."

Michael and Lou began laughing as she told him the whole story. Kid was awakened from his deep slumber by the merry laughter of his wife and her friend. He opened the door slightly and watched the two laughing crazily. He could not even understand what they were talking about. They look so happy, like they really know eachother well. The thought of not being a part of Lou's past saddened him greatly. He knew that she went through so many things in her youth.

"Remember the time when you and I went skinny dipping in the swamp?" asked Michael between their laughter. Lou nodded, her eyes clouded with happy tears. "How old were we at that time?" he asked

"I was fifteen. So that would make you seventeen. By the way it wasn't exactly skinny dipping," she added. "I remember having my clothes on."

"That was before you went into the swamp," he reminded her. "I know I was naked the whole time."

"Who was it that came riding along?"

"The priest," he told her. "Remember the look on his face? And I can't believe how immature I was. I got up, all naked and muddy, and asked, 'Wanna join us, Reverend?'. The look on his face told me he was thinking that we were doing something else." There was a mischievous smile on his face.

"But we weren't," Lou defended herself.

"We weren't until the sun set," he teased as they started laughing again.

Kid could not take anymore of the story. He closed the door and tried to push away everything he heard. He tried not to be jealous, but he could feel some bitterness rising from deep within him. This isn't right, he told himself. I should give her some room. She's not doing anything wrong. Hell, I had some of those moments with other women. Probably even more.

Lou entered the room to find Kid sitting on the bed with Shawn-Jed in his arms. She smiled when he looked up. "Ready to eat?"

"I'll be there shortly. Just need to get dressed."

Lou stared at his marvelous body, admiring his strong built and muscular chest. "Okay, I'll see ya outside then." She walked up to him and kissed his lips.

Cody joined them for supper. He came back from the war, happy and lucky, after being wounded by a bullet in his leg. He educated Jimmy about the horrors of war and convinced him not to join. Cody did not change at all; he was still amazingly funny and sometimes even more annoying. He was obsessed with women, but for the time being Samantha was his main obsession. He promised to drive her away from Kid after he blamed himself responsible for a brief break between Kid and Lou.

Buck settled down with an Irish woman named Glory. They had a baby named Ike. They lived nearby the old Pony Express station that closed a few months ago, just like most of the riders.

Jimmy was the proud sheriff of Rock Creek. Teaspoon was married again to his seventh wife, Savannah, and decided that he was too old to work as the sheriff. Jimmy was finally married to Rose Mary and bought their own place near the ranch that Jimmy, Lou, Kid, Cody and Buck owned together. Although, Kid would not admit to not liking Rose Mary, Lou could see it in his eyes. There was some suppressed anger hidden behind his eyes that flashed just by the mere mention of her name. However, things between Kid and Jimmy were much better than one would expect.

Rachel was engaged with Byron after just three months of courting. She still lived in the house next to the old Pony Express Station that closed a few months ago. She was doing well for herself as the teacher and owner of the best school in Rock Creek.

The riders had not seen Jesse since he left Rock Creek on that one solemn afternoon to go with his brother, Frank. They missed him terribly and relied on his occasional letters for comfort. They just wanted him to be all right and happy wherever he was, but deep within them, they were waiting for his return.

Lou and Kid bought a house near the station; they did not want to live anywhere else without the company of the men they lived with for three years. Life had treated them well, giving them and their loved ones success in anything that happened. In addition to the ranch, Cody and Kid ran a small shop outside of Rock Creek.

"So, Mike," Cody said with his mouth full. "I didn't know you knew that snobby saloon girl named Candy. Is she sweet like candy, huh?" Kid eyed him disapprovingly, but Cody ignored him as he swallowed a mouthful of chicken.

"Well, her body was definitely sweet like Candy. I wish I could say the same thing about her attitude," Michael said as he started laughing. Cody joined in, much louder than everyone anticipated. Soon the food was spitting out of his mouth and onto Jeremiah's face.

"Cody, watch it," Jeremiah warned him.

Cody tried to relax himself as his laughter subsided. "I'm sorry y'all. I just hate Candy. You should stop by the saloon, Kid, and see for yourself."

Kid looked over to Lou who was feeding the baby. She looked at him with a displeased look in her eyes.

"I guess not," Cody said for Kid. "Too bad. She's really something to see."

"Cody, I don't understand all this talk," Lou butted into their men talk. "I thought you were with Samantha."

Cody sighed with a seldom seen look of hurt in his eyes. "Yeah, I was. Then she just broke up with me."

Kid shook his head. "You probably did something to her that she didn't approve of."

"Like what? She said it wasn't me. It was her fault. She said. . . nah, I don't think I should say it."

Michael's blue eyes grew wide with interest. "She said what?"

Cody looked around the table; everyone's stares were making him nervous. "She said that she still loves Kid, and I figure if she can't forget about you now, she never will."

Kid lowered his head and began eating. He knew that Lou was looking at him, but he wanted to avoid her eyes. He was thankful when Michael finally spoke, "Well, let me try. I bet I could make her forget about Kid."

Kid knew that Michael had meant it in a good way, but for some reason he wasn't sure whether Michael was talking about Samantha or Lou. There was a tone in his voice that made him think that he wanted his wife, that he was there to finish something that he should have finished a long time ago.

Cody could sense some unspoken tension in the room and said with a big grin on his face and chicken stuck between his teeth, "Anyone wanna share their food with me?"

Lou and Michael sat by the fireplace comfortably. Kid was already asleep in the bed; it was not hard to get him to sleep after an exhausting day.

"Michael, what brings you out here anyway?"

Michael looked deeply into her eyes. He reached out his hand to caress her face, but she pushed his hand away. "I'm sorry, Louise. I just miss you so much. Think about what might have been if you didn't leave St. Joe."

Lou began to cry as the memories flooded her mind. She never wanted to remember those memories in St. Joe. She was so young then, but her innocence was quickly stolen from her youth. She remembered leaving the orphanage to look for a decent job so that she could provide for Teresa and Jeremiah after her mother's death. She ended up working for an evil man named Wicks. She was unaware of what kind of place it was for her job there was to do laundry. Noone was nice to her, except for Charlotte who was killed a while ago in the hands of Wicks. She drew the blanket closer to her as she remembered how Wicks went to her room one night and violated her. She could feel his hands on her body, cruelly ripping her clothes and slapping her face until she was completely helpless.

"Louise, don't cry. It's okay now," Michael whispered to her as he drew her closer to his arms. She cried on his shoulder, and he was surprised by the sudden pleasure it gave him. "Shhhh, baby, it's okay. Stop crying, Louise. Kid could walk in any minute, and if he finds you crying, he'd definitely beat me up to death."

Lou smiled as she remembered Kid and his overwhelming care for her. "You and Charlotte were the only family I had there. I miss her so much. I don't think I've ever thanked her enough for what she did to me, for helping me escape."

Michael held her close to him. "Louise, you can't go on blaming yourself."

Lou closed her eyes as she felt herself melting into his embrace. She missed her friend greatly. She remembered the moments they shared together and couldn't help wondering what might have been if she stayed. I'd probably be killed if I didn't kill Wicks first. I'd probably be with Mike, instead of . . . She tried to remove her body from his, but the painful memories weakened her. She did not want to think about what might have been without Kid. She never thought about living without him ever since they were married.

"I remember the time when I first met you," Michael's voice echoed in her ears. "You were as pretty as a fallen angel from heaven."

"Why, have you ever seen one?"

"Yeah, when I saw you."

Lou was hanging the laundry outside of the place she stayed at. She did not know it was a saloon, but the herds of men that came in and out of the place made her suspect sometimes. She was lost in a daydream when a fat, drunk man ran into the clean white blankets hung neatly. Her heart was almost torn as she saw the blankets that she washed for hours suddenly stained by this rowdy man.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I guess I didn't see." She stared at him, too angry to speak. "Why, ain't you a pretty little thing," the man said as he reached for her. She started running as he chased after her. She never thought that a drunk man could run so fast. She tripped over her dress as he came crashing on top of her.

"Help," she cried as she felt his lips on her neck. "Somebody, anybody, please." She tried to fight him, but he was stronger than she was. The sound of a horse made her heart jump with joy. She opened her eyes and was glad to see her knight in shining armor, a handsome young man with a worried look on his face.

"Get off of her, you fat cow," he yelled as he hit the drunk man with a shovel over the head. He offered her his hands and was surprised by the softness of her hands. "Are you okay, Miss?"

"Louise, just call me Louise." She stared into the deep-blue eyes that gave her so much comfort. She was hypnotized by the young man who saved her and was a bit embarrassed after seeing how handsome this guy was.

He stared into her eyes. She's so beautiful, so lovely. I wish I rode out here sooner. He might have already hurt her.

"I gotta go now," Lou said immediately after realizing that she stared at him for too long already. "I'm supposed to be working. Thank you."

"Wait, Miss Louise," he called after her. "I'm sorry."

She turned to him with a confused look on her face. "For what?"

"For not coming soon enough," he said softly.

Lou never heard anyone said something so sweet and innocent. She walked over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. She walked away leaving him dumbfounded.

"Wait, Miss Louise. When can I see you again?"

Lou was flattered by the obvious attraction this guy had for her. "I'll see you in about an hour after I finish everything. I'll meet you here."

He started running after her. He hated promises; all his life, people broke their promises. His mother promised to come back to him when he was only ten, and she never did. His father promised to look for his mother and bring her back, but he never returned either. He just heard that he married someone else and concluded that his parents were never going back. Being the only child made it easier for him to move on; there was noone else he had to worry about, noone else he was supposed to look after. Now he lived with his sick and old aunt, helping her and her children with the work in the ranch. For as long as he could remember, his days mainly consisted of hard work under the sun with little fun until he saw this angel in front of his eyes. She was the most beautiful girl he ever saw.

"Wait, I'll go with you. Maybe you need some help."

"No, it's all right. Thank you for your help earlier. It's kind of you to want to help me now, but I can do this by myself." She started hanging the clothes to dry in the sun.

"How old are you, Miss Louise?" he asked her as he helped her hang the clothes.

"I'm fifteen. And you?"

"Seventeen," he said as he stared deeply into her eyes. He wanted to kiss her so bad, but he did not want to frighten her.

"You work here?" he asked, pointing at the saloon.

"Yeah, I do the laundry. Why?"

Michael realized that she did not know what kind of a place it was. He fought the urge to tell her; he did not want to scare her. "Wanna go for a swim?" he asked as he suddenly felt the sun burning in his back.

Lou laughed to herself. She did not know this guy, and she was not about to go anywhere with him. "No, thanks." She eyed him nervously, and he knew that he scared her.

"I'm sorry. I guess I take things too fast, huh? Well, let me tell you about myself. My name's Michael Fierceson. My parents left when I was ten so now I live with my aunt. She's old an d sick, and she can be troublesome and hot-tempered sometimes, but she takes care of me. I work at a ranch, feeding horses. . . " he went on and on as Lou stared at him. She never met anyone so honest in her life. Most of the people she knew seemed to have a hidden secret inside, but this guy who hardly knew her was pouring his heart out to her.

They became real good friends after that; one may even consider them as being 'together'. He was nice and sweet to her. Most of all, he respected her. They went to a swamp once to go swimming, and he ended up taking all of his clothes. She did not think it was a good idea to go swimming in the swamp. It was so muddy that soon they were covered in mud. The reverend even rode in on them and gave them a dirty look after Michael got up naked and invited him to join them. For the rest of the night, they were together. Making out under the stars was the closest thing they ever did. Lou claimed that she was still not ready, and he respected that. They were both young and wanted to avoid any mistakes they would regret. When she came home that evening, that's when the unspeakable happened. Wicks entered her room and forced himself on her. The next day, Charlotte helped her get out of the place to go to St. Louis. She did not even say goodbye to him, and he had to be content with the only answers to his questions in the means of her letter. Now he came back to her after hearing of Charlotte's departure. He was aware of her situation, being married to a good man with a baby. There was no doubt in his heart that she still loved him, but he knew that she did not feel the same in her heart. She loved him still, but it was love in a completely different way. He was just a man of her past now, someone
special who made a difference in her life, one whom she would do anything for except return the passion he felt in his heart.

"Michael, tell me why you're here. Something's up. I can feel it."

"Louise," he said as he stroked her hair lovingly. "I don't know how to say this, but you ain't safe here."

She drew away from him with concern in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

Michael sighed, wavering whether he should tell her or not. "Trouble's coming, Louise. It took a while to reach the town with the news of Charlotte and Wicks dead. Apparently Wicks had some men that he owed money to, money that Charlotte stole from him. When these men heard of their deaths, they were furious. Now they're after you."

She shook her head, unwilling to believe his story. "But I haven't been there for so long now. I don't understand what they want from me."

"It ain't you exactly they're after. They want the money, Louise. They think you have it since this is where Charlotte was last seen, and you're the only person she would give the money to. I come to warn you, but someone must have known my plans. Some of the men followed me here, shot me in my leg," he testified before lifting his pants to show her his bullet wound.

"Oh my God," Louise said as she covered her face with her hands. "This is my fault."

"No, it ain't. It's their fault, their greed and their lust for money that isn't even theirs."

"But I don't have the money. I don't know where Charlotte put it, but I think she must have spent it to buy the shop she wanted to own. It's been a long time since then, and I can't remember anything about what happened to that place or her money."

"Louise, you have to get out of this place. They'll be coming here soon enough."

"I can't leave my baby, my husband, my family, my friends."

"We can come up with the money," he said calmly. "I've got some money saved up. We can solve this together. You don't have to be alone."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because I can't stand having you hurt. I won't let anything happen to you."

"How much money do they want?" she asked him.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I'm gonna find a job here and try to come up with as much money as I can, and you can do the same."

"You don't have to involve yourself with this mess. Please, don't," she pleaded with him.

"Louise, I'm already a part of this. They know who I am. Please let me help you. I don't want anything to happen to you."

She sighed, knowing that she could never make him change his mind. "Listen, I don't want any of these mentioned to anyone. This is between you and me. We don't have to involve anyone here."

"I promise, Louise, I won't tell a soul. I give you my word," he said softly as he caressed her face.

"But Kid won't let me work. How can I get some money?" she asked. "I can't take the money we saved for our future, for the kids. I gotta make my own money."

"I can't help you with that case, Louise. Why don't you tell Kid about this? I'm sure he'll understand."

Lou shook her head and began to cry. "I can't. I've brought him too much pain already. I can't do it anymore."

"But if he doesn't know, he'll hurt more when he finds out."

"He won't ever have to," she told him.

He did not know what else to say. He hoped that everything would be fine, especially Lou. He drew her closer to his embrace. She began to cry her heart out once again. Michael fought his desire to kiss her; he knew that it wouldn't be fair. It was clear that he loved her, but he would never make her choose between him and Kid. He loved her too much to put her through anymore pain.

Kid stirred in the bed as his arms searched for his beloved. When he did not feel her anywhere, he opened her eyes. He got up immediately to search for his wife. He opened the door slowly and found her crying in the arms of Michael. Jealous thoughts rose in his mind, and he tried to dismiss them immediately. "Lou, honey, what's wrong?" He ran to her side and took her away from Michael's embrace.

"Kid, what are you doing up?' asked Lou. "You should be resting. You gotta get up early tomorrow."

"I can't sleep without you," he confessed. "What are you doing up, and why are you crying?"

"I wasn't crying," she lied. "I yawned."

Kid eyed her suspiciously. "You can't fool me, Lou. Even a blind man would see you've been crying." His eyes turned to Michael, revealing some accusations.

"We were just talking about Charlotte," Michael said slowly.

"And I just miss her," Lou said quickly; the look in her eyes told Michael to shut up.

"Well, come to bed before you get more upset than you already are," Kid said softly. He understood how much painful memories Charlotte could bring to Lou.

"I'll be there. You go ahead. I'll stay here for a while."

"What for?" asked a worried Kid.

"I'm too lazy to walk," she confessed. It was true that she did not feel like leaving the place near the warmth of the fire; she felt weak after crying for so long.

"Well, if that's the problem," Kid told her, "it can easily be fixed." He slipped one arm under her legs and the other to support her back. "Good night, Michael. Get some rest."

Michael smiled at Kid. He was happy to see Lou with someone who loved her so much that it showed in every little thing he did or say. He knew he could never love Lou the way Kid loved her, but then again, he never had the chance that Kid had.

"Lou, what's wrong? Don't tell me nothing is because I can tell it in your eyes. Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked her as he kissed her forehead before placing her on the bed.

"Everything's fine. There are just too many painful memories that came over my mind tonight. You should go to sleep, Kid. You have a long day ahead of you."

There was a knock on the door. "Miss Louise?"

Kid rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Michael?"

"Kid, I'm just gonna go for a walk. It's nice out there tonight. Cody and I will just go to the saloon for a short while."

"All right, just be careful out there," Kid called back. "There are too many drunk and crazy people at the saloon."

"Good night, Michael," Lou said in an exasperated voice.

"Good night, Kid and Miss Louise."

When Kid heard the front door closed, he exhaled deeply. "Miss Louise," he said slowly as he shook his head.

"Kid, honey, go to sleep. Stop thinking too much."

"Are you sure you're all right? If there's anything I can do to-"

"I'm okay, Kid." She looked deeply into his eyes and kissed him deeply. Soon her passion for him was awakened, and she could not help herself from wanting more. She felt his hands unbuttoning her dress as he sucked on her lips. She wanted so much to tell him everything, but she knew she could not hurt him anymore. She did not want to be a burden to him. Their lives were going back to normal after the little incident with Samantha. She did not want to worry or lose him. She loved him so much that no words could ever express how she felt so she had to be content with showing her feelings through her actions. She kissed him hungrily, and Kid was surprised to see her so passionate and intense. Of course their love-making had always been intense, but her kisses were telling him something different as if she was afraid of losing him, as if he would disappear from her touch.

His fingers lingered on her breasts as he drew them to his mouth. He could feel her legs wrapped around his hips and knew that she was calling for him. He smiled at the thought of being inside of her again. He let his fingers enter her most private part and silenced her moans with his hungry kisses.

"Oh, Kid, oh," she moaned even louder as she felt him enter her. "Kid, I love you so much."

He kissed her lips and nibbled on her neck. "I love you, Lou. I'll do anything for you. Always remember that. I love you no matter what happens, whatever comes between us."

Tears slowly crawled down her cheeks as she heard the sweetest words he ever said to her. He's so sweet to me, she thought sadly. Why can't I just tell him everything that's going on? She knew the answer to her question. She loved him too much to worry him when she knew how worried he was about other things.

Kid pushed himself deeper into her as he held onto her thighs. He looked up to see her beautiful face and was afraid when he saw tears running down her cheeks. "Lou, did I hurt you?" he asked as he withdrew himself from her.

Lou looked into his gorgeous eyes and kissed his lips. "Why did you stop?"

"I thought I hurt you. I'm sorry," he apologized. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He did not wait long for her response as he felt her hands around his manhood. He smiled and kissed both of her shut eyes and wiped her tears away with his kisses. "Why are you crying, Lou?"

"'Cause you're so sweet to me that's why," she told him honestly. "'Cause I've never loved anyone like I love you, and I'm afraid of losing you."

Kid gave her a smile of encouragement as he kissed her lips. "You'll never lose me, honey. With the way you always keep me excited, I'm never going anywhere."

She laughed as he started tickling her. "Kid, stop it. I ain't in the mood to be tickled right now."

"Then tell me exactly what you're in the mood for?" he asked as he kissed her neck.

"I think you know the answer to that," she told him as she brought his lips to hers.

They lie awake in the bed for a while after making love. He stroked her hair lovingly and held her close to his warm body.

"I'm sorry for keeping you up again, honey," she told him.

"Hey, it's okay. I wanted it anyway. It wasn't your fault. Besides, you give me energy. I can't remember ever working so much at the ranch. I probably do most of my work here in bed," he teased her, laughing at the irony of his statement.

She rested her head on his chest as her hands searched for his. "Promise me to never leave me no matter what."

"I don't need to promise, Lou. You already know I'm always gonna be here for you."

She looked up to him. "You mean it?"

"Honey, look in my eyes, and tell me if you think I'm lying?"

She searched his eyes for any sign of deception, but all she found was love. "I believe you."

They felt asleep cuddled together in a warm embrace, perfect for a cold autumn night.

Cody and Michael sat comfortably in the saloon with two women on their laps. They were playing cards for fun as they talked about the events of the day.

"Whatever happened to Candy?" Cody asked as he examined his cards.

One of the saloon girls replied, "She was fired last night."

Michael started laughing. "Can't say I'm sorry. She must have been a real snob."

"But she's really something else to see," Cody said cheerfully. "She should be one of the eight wonders of the world. She's got such an ugly attitude for such a pretty girl. I will surely miss her."

Michael chuckled as he took a sip from his bottle of sarsaparilla. "Cody, I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'm gonna go home and get some rest."

"Aw, c'mon, Mike. Let's finish this game. I promise I'll let you win."

"Cody, you already owe me two dollars," Michael joked. "You can't let me win anymore. C'mon, I think you need to get some sleep."

The two friends were about to leave when a gang of seven men entered. Some of them were drunk and rowdy. Michael knew those were the men who were after the money. He tried to hide himself behind Cody and was thankful that Cody did not notice his fear. He looked at the tall guy with the long mustache who had shot him before he left St. Joe. I gotta get out of here before they see me. They'll kill me for sure.

"Well, drink up, boys," the leader spoke loudly. "We've got a long day ahead of us. We'll collect what's rightly ours."

Michael pulled Cody who was making out with one of the ladies. "Gee, Michael. Can't I even finish sayin' goodbye?"

"Cody, I'll see you later. I gotta go now," he said as he took off, leaving a bewildered Cody behind.

Michael ran into the house and started packing his clothes. He knew that it was time for him and Lou to make their escape. There was no time to waste for tomorrow was coming fast enough. His mind was going crazy, and all he could think about was getting Lou away from that place. He quietly walked into the bedroom to find her sleeping on Kid's chest.

Please, God, don't let him wake up, he prayed whole-heartedly. I've never asked you for anything before, not even when my parents did not come back. I'm asking you now. Please let her be safe.

He touched Lou's shoulder as his other hand covered her mouth. She was about to scream when she saw a distraught Michael lingering over her. "What's the matter?" she asked.

He gestured for her to follow him outside. He closed the door softly behind them and said, "Louise, I hate to tell you this, but we gotta go."

"Why now?" she asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"The gang is here. I saw them at the saloon. They said something about collecting the money today. I know it's only three in the morning, but sunrise will arrive fast enough. We gotta leave this place before they find us. They'll kill me for sure, but I don't know what they'll do to you. I don't even wanna think about it."

Lou began to cry. "I don't wanna leave, Kid. Why does it have to be like this?"

"You've got no choice, Louise. Either go now or tell him."

She packed a few clothes hurriedly then began writing a letter for her husband. She could imagine his angry reaction when he found out she ran away. She only hoped that he would not come after them.

Foreverdearest Kid,

I'm sorry for what I've done. I just have to do this. I promise I will
tell you everything when the time is right. I just can't bring you
anymore of my troubles. I promise you that I will come back someday and
explain everything. Please let me go. Take care of yourself and our
family. I love you even if you don't believe me.

Carrying your love with me,
Lou

"Louise, c'mon," Michael cried from the porch. "We've got no time to waste."

Lou entered the large bedroom in which she and Kid shared some of their happiest times together. She kissed her sleeping baby on the cheek and walked over to her husband. She could not stop the tears from falling as the reality hit her. I may never feel your touch again, my love, she thought unhappily as she placed a kiss on his lips. She would have kissed him some more, but she was afraid that he would wake up. I love you always, Kid. I hope you never forget that.

She closed the door softly and checked on her siblings who were soundly asleep. She took a one last look before she closed the front door. She never felt so empty and afraid in a long time.

An hour after she left, Kid woke up from a romantic dream regarding Louise. He smiled at the thought of him and his wife walking hand in hand under the stars. He looked around the room and was surprised to see her gone from the bed. His eyes focused on the mess of their room; Lou's drawers were opened, and some of her clothes were spilling out of the drawers. He quickly rose from the bed and put on his pants.

"Lou?" he called with an alarmed look in his face. "Lou, where are you?" His suspicions grew when he noticed that Michael's things were gone except for some of his trivial belongings. He was going crazy from searching for her. He headed to the kitchen to find a letter, freshly written in Lou's writing. His eyes flooded with tears at the realization that she left him. How can she do this to me? he asked himself. After all that we've been through, she has the guts to leave me like this! She did not even tell me why. Of course why would she tell me? She left for an 'old friend' who is probably an 'old flame'! Oh, Lou, what did I ever
do that wasn't enough? Why didn't you tell me face-to-face? Don't I deserve more than a piece of letter? He almost tore up the letter because of his overwhelming hurt and pain at what he thought she did. He shoved the letter in his pocket and put on his shirt and coat to look for her. I ain't gonna let her leave me like this. I deserve to know the truth about why she's leaving me. I need to hear it from her. I deserve at least that.

He went out the door, knowing that Lou and Michael were not that far away yet. He took off as fast as he could and did not look back until he heard someone following him. He turned around to see Jimmy, the town marshal, and Cody after him.

"Kid!" Jimmy called after him. "What's the hurry?'

Kid slowed down long enough for them to catch up.

"Gee, Kid, ain't it a little too early to go to the ranch?" teased Cody. "Ain't you a little too excited about working?"

Kid looked at him angrily, his eyes telling them that he was not in the mood to talk, much alone joke around.

"Where you headed?" asked Jimmy. He could not hide his concern anymore. "Is everything all right?"

"No, nothing's fine, all right?" Kid answered coldly. "As a matter of fact, Lou just left a while ago with Michael."

"What?" asked Cody. "Are you positive? It ain't like Lou to leave without a word unless there's some kinda danger."

"Well, I don't know what the problem is," Kid said angrily as he rode faster. "But she couldn't trust me enough to tell me."

"She has her reasons, Kid," Jimmy defended Lou.

"Leave me alone!" Kid yelled to them. "What do you want from me? Don't you got some business to take care of in town, Marshall?"

"Yeah, I do, but that doesn't mean I don't have time for family business," Jimmy told him as they rode alongside.

Lou and Michael stopped by a tower of trees to rest the horses. Lightning picked up a stone, and Lou was not sure if her horse could ride any longer.

"We're gonna have to double-up, Louise," Michael told her after examining Lightning's leg. "We won't get far enough with her leg like that."

Lou sighed as she kicked the shrubs in front of her. "Great!" she exclaimed sarcastically. "This is just great. Stuck here in the middle of nowhere. We don't even know where we're going, and some men are chasing after us. Why, we might as well give up now and shoot ourselves!'

Michael let out a soft chuckle. "You never change, Louise," he told her.

"So what now?" she asked him as she loaded her things on Michael's horse. "We can't get far riding double."

"That's the only way we can get away. We can stop by a livery about five miles from here and get us a horse."

"Well, let's go! We're wasting time!'

They were riding for only ten minutes when they heard horses close by. "There are some riders after us," Lou said worriedly. "Soon they'll catch up with us."

"Don't worry, Louise, I'm here to protect you," Michael told her softly as he gave the horse a harder kick.

Cody studied Lightning's leg and shook his head. "I'm gonna take Lightning back with me to town. You two go ahead," he said to Kid and Jimmy.

"Be careful, Cody," Jimmy reminded him.

"Good luck, guys," Cody said before riding on.

Jimmy turned to look at a concerned Kid. "Don't worry. They're all right."

"How can you be so sure, Jimmy? It ain't like her to leave like this. What if he made her go with him? What if she wanted to go with him?"

"Stop talkin' crazy, Kid. Lou loves you too much to leave you. She's probably got some business to take care of. You know how she is when it comes to secrets. She's closed herself in from people. You just have to understand her more, especially now."

Kid was about to answer when they heard a shot rang out. He and Jimmy hurriedly rode to the place of shooting and found seven men on horses shooting after Lou and Michael.

"Lou," Kid called after her. She turned around with a frightened look in her eyes.

One of the men shot the horse, causing the two riders to fall off. Lou almost hurt her head but was fortunately saved by the bush they landed on.

"Are you okay, Louise?" Michael asked her as his eyes searched for any sign of injury.

Soon the shootout escalated as Jimmy, Kid, Michael and Lou began firing on the men. Jimmy managed to shoot two of the riders, but the rest, including the leader, got away.

"Dammit!" Jimmy cussed in frustration.

An angry Kid turned to Lou whose dress was torn and dirty. "Will you tell me what's going on here?"

Lou immediately noticed a pool of blood forming on his sleeve. "Kid, you're hurt." She reached for his wounded arm, but he pulled away."Don't touch me! After what you've done to me, you have the nerves to pretend you care?"

Lou wanted to tell him everything then, but she knew that he would never understand. He was in his worst mood now. It was not the right time for her to explain things to him. "Kid, I just wanna take a look at your wound. Please."

"I can take care of myself, Lou. So after all we've been through, this is what the end comes to?" he asked her broken-heartedly. "You couldn't even tell me what he means to you, what role he plays in your life? I might have been able to understand your choice if you just told me face-to-face instead of lying behind my back."

"Kid, it ain't what you think!' she cried angrily. "I wasn't leaving you!'

Kid grabbed her light luggage and tossed it to her feet. "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain that? I can't believe you can betray me like this! I really believed everything you said to me," he said. "Why couldn't you trust me?"

"Kid, please," she pleaded. "I'm sorry. Just give me a chance to explain. You're not being fair to me, Kid."

"You leave me for him, Lou. I ain't that stupid to ignore it! I guess we've never really had anything between us. I don't know everything about you, and from the way you act, it's seems like I will never know who you are."

Lou was angered by his words. How dare he accuses me of lying to him about who I am? "Kid, if there's someone who has a secret in our relationship, it certainly is you!" she told him angrily. "I don't even know your name!'

"Well you seemed to know it just fine last night!" he said as he moved closer to her. "I don't ever wanna see you again."

Lou felt weak as the words echoed in her mind, words that she never thought would come from the man she loved and devoted herself to. "Kid, don't this please."

He started to mount on Katy as she dropped to her knees, almost begging him to stay. "Lou, don't let this be harder than it already is. You can still visit your brother and sister. I'll let you see our son if you want, but between us, everything is over. Everything. If you don't love me, then I don't love you either. I never did anyway. If you can't trust me by now, I guess we don't have anything between us and we never will!"

"Kid! That's not true, and you know it!" she yelled after him. She was down on her knees, tears running uncontrollably on her tear-stained cheeks. Her dress was torn and covered with dust. "Kid, please come back." He did not turn around as his own tears poured down his face. He did not remember crying like that ever since his brother, Jed, died, not even when his childhood sweetheart, Doritha, died. He could hear her frantic screams after him and tried to push them away. "What about your promises, Kid? What about the things you said to me? Whatever happened to the love you said you have for me? I guess I never meant anything to you, huh? You never loved me, Kid!!!" He closed his eyes; images of their love-making flashed in his mind. She doesn't love me, never did.
She lied to me, betrayed me when all I ever did was make her happy. How could she do this to me? Well, she just did, and only time will tell if I can ever forgive her. . . .

Jimmy rushed by Lou's side as he put his arms around her. She cried helplessly in his chest, and Jimmy could not help but cry also. "Lou, it's okay. He'll come to his senses soon. He's just angry right now that he doesn't realize what he's giving up."

Michael shook his head. This is all my fault,. Why did I have to bring all this trouble with me?

Jimmy was greatly saddened by the sight of the two lovers parting. He never witnessed anything so emotional and painful than this. Kid's so upset that he forgot about those men after Lou. He didn't even ask her why they were after her. How could he be such an ass sometimes? He stroked her hair until he felt her cries subsided. "Lou, will you tell me what's going on here?"

She looked sadly into his eyes. She looked at Michael, her eyes pleading with his to tell Jimmy everything. Michael told Jimmy the whole story, why those men were after Lou and what happened before Jimmy and Kid got there.

"They just want the money? They came after you two for the damn money?" Jimmy could not believe what he just heard.

"That ain't all," Michael interrupted Jimmy as he wrapped the shoulder wound that he received from the gunfight earlier that morning. "Before you two even got here, they made us sign something."

"What?" Lou handed Jimmy the papers. Jimmy's eyes widened with surprise as he read the content. "Why did you sign these?"

"We got no choice. They would have killed us," Lou said. "I regret it now. I wish they killed me already."

"Lou, don't say that," Michael told her compassionately. "You did what you thought was right."

Jimmy tried not to crumple the papers that angered him so much. The papers were about an agreement that Lou and Michael signed in exchange for their lives. In one of the agreements, Michael promised to move to California to work at a ranch owned by the gang's leader named Spud Montessor. Lou, on the other hand, had agreed to work at the saloon in Rock Creek.

"You can't do this, Lou!" Jimmy exclaimed. "We gotta take this to court!"

"It don't matter now, Jimmy. I've lost everything already. Just stay out of this."

"I can't. Kid won't let you do this," Jimmy told her.

"He will, Jimmy. He doesn't care about me. Who cares what happens anyway? A deal is a deal. If I don't abide by this agreement, they promise to come after Jeremiah, Teresa and my baby. I can't let them do that. I can't let them have that power over my family."

"By agreeing to these terms, you're giving them power."

"And protecting my family," she defended strongly. "I'd rather give them power at my own expense than have my family suffer for something that's my fault."

"It ain't your fault, Louise!" said Michael. "It ain't right for you to work at the saloon."

"I've got no choice. I can't do nothing else. Besides, they promise to let me go when they get the money that they say I owe them."

"You can't believe them, Lou!" cried Jimmy. "Their promises mean nothing."

"It doesn't matter now!" she shouted angrily. "I've lost so much already! It won't hurt as much as I'm hurting now!'

Jimmy's eyes softened at the sight of her being so distressed and troubled. "Are you sure this is what you wanna do?" he asked.

Lou nodded slowly as tears ran down her cheeks. "I don't wanna go anywhere far from my family. I'd rather stay in Rock Creek where I can visit them."

Jimmy hugged her closely as he kissed the top of her head. He loved her so much like an old flame that he lost a long time ago. "Be careful, Lou."

"Thanks, Jimmy," she said as she turned to Michael.

"I guess I better head out to California to fulfill my agreement. I promise to come back and visit you, Miss Louise. Don't worry, Louise. They won't keep you working there too long. I know their leader, Spud. He's a businessman, and he has nothing else to be proud of but his words. If he says he will let us go once he collected his money, he will. I'll see to that." She hugged her old friend as she cried even harder. He held her delicately close to his body as he felt his own tears on his face. "I'll miss you, Louise. I'm sorry about what happened between you and. . . ."

"Please, don't mention it," she said bitterly as she tried to ignore the reality of losing the man she loved the most. "Take care of yourself, Michael. I hope to see you again someday."

She watched him rode off in the beautiful sunrise. The sky was amazingly pink sparkled with gold from the golden rays of the sun. Yet she did not see anything of its beauty. All she saw in the sunrise were sadness and a future of being alone, instead of new promises and a welcoming start. Jimmy put his arms protectively around her. "Are you sure what you're doing is right? I just don't wanna see you hurting."

"Jimmy, they can't hurt me now. They've taken everything from me already. They can't take anything anymore."

Lou stayed at Jimmy's house for the day. Rose Mary was very understanding about her situation and tried her best to comfort her. "I'm sorry about everything, Lou. I hope it works out for the best for you in the end," she sympathized as she and Lou shared an afternoon on the porch.

"Where's Glory anyway?' asked Lou, deciding to change the painful subject. "Where's Rachel?"

Rose Mary smiled. "Didn't you hear that they left town this morning."

"They did?"

"Yeah, Buck and his whole family, Rachel and Byron, Teaspoon and Savannah. They left to go to Texas for some kind of festival. I was going to go, but I couldn't leave Jimmy here in town. Who knows what can happen to him being a marshal and all."

"So they don't know anything that happened between me and . . . " She could not even bring herself to mention his name. She did not want to remember how she lost him, how she cried for him in the woods that morning.

"No, they left before they knew what happened. They''ll be back in about two weeks. I guess it's just us."

Lou smiled, relieved that the others would not have to worry about them. It might even be easier to explain to them what happened when they came back. "What about Cody?"

"He stayed. He did not mention anything about your departure this morning. He said he got work do to at the ranch. Lou, don't worry, you can stay here for as long as you need to. You can stay here forever if you want," she offered.

"Thanks, Rose Mary. I'm sorry for being such a burden."

"Don't say that. You're always welcome here."

Kid cuddled the baby closer to his chest as Shawn-Jed began crying furiously. The baby was not used to being fed with a bottle; he certainly was looking for his mother's milk. "Baby, it's all right. Daddy's here," Kid said as he smoothed the little hair of the baby. His voice was still husky after crying for a while. Teresa and Jeremiah seemed to know what happened after Kid came back and found them talking with Cody. Kid thought it was a wonder why he did not beat the crap out of Michael. He could feel the tears coming when he opened the door of the bedroom. Lou's nightgown, which was thrown on the floor after a heat
of passion that night, brought him bitter-sweet memories. Everywhere he turned, there was a reminder of his lost beloved. He felt like he was going crazy. What if I made the wrong choice? What if she did love me? What if my jealousy got the better of me? What if something happens to her? He pushed these questions away as he convinced himself that everything would be all right. He reminded himself that she ran away from him, that she loved someone else, and that she was not planning on coming back. But she will. She'll come for her siblings, our baby. He tried to shut the conflicting thoughts in his head. Something inside of him missed her terribly, longed for her return; another side of him kept telling him how she betrayed him, how she lied to him as she whispered sweet words of love in his ear. "I'll get over her soon," Kid told himself

Jimmy came home after a long day of work at the jail. He was busier than usual, and he wanted to look into Lou's case, but he knew that she did not want him poking in her business again. If I were her, I'd put them all to jail for good, he thought gravely. Better yet, I'd shoot them all till their brains spill over. He passed by Kid's house on his way home and found him sitting on the porch with the baby in his arms. He wanted to talk to his best friend, tell him the whole story, but he knew it was best if he heard it from Lou. He wanted to yell at Kid again for letting her go, but the pained look on his friend's face nearly broke his heart.
It did not take a fool to figure out how much he was suffering with his decision. You let her go; you didn't listen to her; you made your choice; you drove her away when she needed you the most, so now miss her! he thought to himself but knew it was not right for him to blame Kid. He'd probably act the same way if it happened to him, maybe even worse. He encountered Cody when he stopped by the ranch. He told him the whole story and could not believe the tears in Cody's eyes.

"That breaks my heart, Jimmy," Cody sobbed.

Jimmy wanted to laugh at the sight of his usual hilarious friend. "Hey, Cody, don't cry. I never thought I'd see you like this. C'mon, I've been around too many people crying today."

Cody managed to get a grip on himself. "We gotta do something, Jimmy. It ain't right. You know how much they love eachother. I just don't understand why they fight so much for two people who are so in love."

"I know, Cody. It's hard for you to think of them fighting, but believe me when I say that the those who usually make you the angriest, hurt you the most are those you love the most."

Cody smiled. "I guess that say a lot about you and Kid. I remember all those times you two nearly killed eachother when we used to ride for the Express."

Jimmy smiled at the memory when everything was so young and free; too bad he could not say those days were innocent. "Well, that goes the same between you and Kid. Remember the time when he knocked you unconscious?"

The blond cowboy made a face. "Please don't remind me. My jaw still hurts every time I remember."

"Good thing the rest of the family ain't here to see this," Jimmy commented regarding the others who went to Texas for a big festival.

Lou looked at herself in the mirror. There was no color in her usual radiant face; everything was pale and dull. Her eyes looked tired from crying, but she could still not stop the tears from coming each time she thought about her husband. She wondered sadly if he still considered himself as her husband. He'd probably want a divorce as soon as possible, she told herself bitterly. He doesn't love me anymore after all I put him through. I should have known better than to fall in love with him completely. Men are like that. They take what they want and leave you when they have nothing more to take from you. I should have known he'd never accept me for my past, never understand anything about my past. He isn't the man for me. There will never be anyone for me. Why am I feeling so down? Everyone dies alone and afraid anyway. He never loved me; those promises were just lies. She began to cry as she remembered him touching her. She did not believe her thoughts. She knew that he did love her; she had seen it so many times in his eyes, felt it in his touch, heard it from his words. She felt like a fallen child, drowning in her own past. Everything was just taken from her so soon, and she did not know how to start all over again. She knew she could never believe in any other person, especially when she did not even believe in herself. Her sad thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She brushed her tears away with her hands, but it did not help much. "Come in."

She saw Jimmy's reflection in the mirror. He smiled at her sadly. "You okay, Lou?"

She nodded. Her loneliness left her momentarily speechless.

"Well, get some rest," he said softly. "Just let us know if you need anything." He closed the door behind him quietly.

Lou planned to stay with Jimmy and Rose Mary until she became more stable in her new life. She lie on the bed and hugged the pillow tightly, wishing it was that special someone she loved with all her soul. She missed his smile, his touch, his scent, his eyes. She missed her baby, her brother and sister. I need to visit them tomorrow. He can't stop me from seeing my family. I won't let him take them away from me. She pictured him riding away that morning and wondered if he was thinking about her. She prayed that his shoulder wound was not too serious. She thought about Michael, praying that he would be okay, that she'd see him again. No matter how hard she avoided thinking about the man who hurt her the most, all she could see was his face whenever she closed her eyes. She could hear him whispering words of love as they made love, feel his touch as he caressed her body. She cried herself to sleep, wishing that she would wake up by his side.

"G'night, 'Miah, Teresa," Kid called after them as he shut the door behind him. The large bedroom never looked so isolated in his eyes. He changed the baby and put him to bed. He lie awake for a while with images of his beloved flashing in his head. He wanted so much to forget her, but he knew he never could. He loved her completely and even if wanted to deny it, the truth was that he still did, and forever would. He could smell her sweet fragrance in bed and closed his eyes as he fought the tears from coming. He did not sleep very much, tossing and turning throughout the night. He even woke up several times calling out for her. He wondered where she was, if she was okay. He did not even care anymore if she was with someone else. As long as she loves him, and she's happy with him, I should be satisfied with her decision. He better take care of her, love her and care for her like I do. He better be good to her. If anything happens to her, I don't know what I would do.

Lou woke up early in the morning, content to see Kid in her dreams. She felt sad as the reality hit her again. She missed her family terribly, but she knew she could not see them yet. She had to get herself together first. Spud Montessor, the leader of the gang, sent one of his men to tell her that he was expecting her at the saloon. She was not frightened anymore as she approached the place that evening. There was nothing that these men could do to her to make her feel any worse. She remembered Michael's words of comfort. He had told her that Spud was true to his words, that he would let her go once he got the money he claimed she owed. After all, Michael said, Spud Montessor was a businessman.

She walked into the saloon and found rowdy men drinking heavily. She was glad that Cody was not there. She would be too embarrassed if she saw him there. The young man who worked for Spud led her to an office. "Don't worry, Mrs. Cloud, he won't keep you forever," the man told her softly. "I heard him talk about you, and if it would make you feel any better, he said he'd get his money from you in a short time."

Lou just looked at the man and wondered why he worked for Spud. He looked so innocent and decent. He opened the door for her, and she found herself alone with the man she made the agreement with.

"Welcome, Ms. McCloud," Spud Montessor greeted her. "I'm sorry we have to do this. I hate doing this to you, but I need the money you owe me."

"No, you don't," she told him coldly. "You've got plenty of money."

He began to laugh. He was an old man of forty-five with gray mustache. "Well, if I don't collect all the money owed to me, I'd never be this rich. Listen, I've got nothing against you, not even after what happened yesterday morning when two of my men were killed. I'm willing to forget everything. Just having you work for me already excites me. You are very lovely, Ms. McCloud. I'm sure the customer would be blessed with your grace."

Lou almost threw up at the idea of other men. What have I gotten myself into?

"Now don't worry, Ms. McCloud. I like you too much to just give you away to any customer. But with the right price, I might just. Nonetheless, our agreement does not include you sleeping with any of the customers. All you do is serve drinks and that sort unless you want to do more. I would advise you to do more than what you're supposed to if you wanna get out of our agreement as soon as possible. Why, you might even get out in less than three days considering how beautiful you are. I might even pay for you myself."

Her eyes grew wide at the thought of this. "It's not in the agreement."

"I know, that's why I won't force you," he said. "Well, I guess we're done for now. You can change into one of the dressing rooms and start as soon as you're ready."

Lou was relieved that serving drinks was the only things she was asked to do. She surely did not want to 'entertain' any of the customers, much alone bring herself to do something like that. She could not imagine letting anyone touch her, except maybe for Kid... . She dismissed the thought of him immediately and began to change. She remembered the time she dressed up as a saloon girl to get Kid out of jail. She felt sad knowing that this time it was real, not just some disguise, some role she was playing momentarily.

The first hour was hard for her. She was not used to being around rowdy men who constantly grabbed her hand and made her sit on their laps. She was even thankful when she saw Cody sitting alone, watching her. "What brings you here, cowboy?" she greeted him warmly as she began to get used to the job. She would never be comfortable there, but the thought of it ending soon brought her comfort.

Cody smiled and gave her a hug. "Hey, Lou, you are the loveliest woman in this place. So is everything okay?"

"So far," she told him. "I just hate wearing this stupid dress."

"Get used to it, Lou," he joked. "You'd be stuck in it for a while." He wanted so much to help her, but he knew she would not hear it. She was a stubborn woman and would not accept his money or anyone else for that matter.

"Well, I have to go now. There are drinks waiting to be served." She wanted to ask him about Kid but thought it would not be a good idea since she was not sure if she could even say his name without crying.

"Hey, Lou!" called Cody after her. "Maybe I can get some free drinks now, can't I?"

She punched his shoulder playfully. "I'll think about it, Mr. Cody."

When she came home, it was almost five in the morning. She was so tired that she fell asleep right when she hit the bed, but not after a thought of her lost love crossed her mind.

Kid was chopping wood when Jimmy arrived at the ranch. "Gee, Kid, don't we have enough wood to last us a whole winter?" he joked with his friend who had not been the same ever since Lou's departure.

"I'll finish this stack, and I'll help you with the haystack," Kid said, out-of-breath.

"Don't work so hard," Jimmy told him seriously. "You lost so much weight lately."

"No, I didn't," he protested. "Your vision just got bad, Jimmy."

Jimmy wondered if he should tell Kid what Lou had asked him to tell him for her. Kid still did not know that she was staying with him and Rose Mary. "Kid, I need to tell you something."

"Go ahead. I don't wanna wait all day."

"Lou told me to tell you that she's coming to see the children this afternoon." The heavy burden was lifted off his shoulder when those words were finally spoken.

"Okay," he said nonchalantly as if he did not care if he never saw her again.

Jimmy shook his head. He was disappointed in his friend's reaction. He expected Kid's face to light up, to show some sign of joy with the mention of Lou. I guess it's over between them.

"So what should I tell her?" asked Jimmy.

"Tell her that she can come and see the kids anytime she wants," Kid said as he walked away. He did not want Jimmy to see him close to tears.

Lou fixed herself up before heading out to the house that she once shared with the man she loved. She was wearing a green dress and carried a bag full of her clothes for work with her. As she took a step closer to the house, she felt a sudden change of heart. Maybe I shouldn't have come. Then she felt the suppressed longing to hold her baby and found the courage to knock on the door. Teresa opened the door and jumped in her arms when she saw her.

"Louise, where have you been? Cody told us about what happened. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I miss you all so much. How's school?"

Teresa let go of her sister and stared in her eyes. "Well, Kid's trying his best to help me with my schoolwork, but he ain't as good as you."

"Why, thank you," Lou said, smiling at the compliment. "Where's Jeremiah?"

"He's eating in the kitchen. Jeremiah!" Teresa called to her brother.

Jeremiah came running from the kitchen to the front porch and hugged his sister tightly. "Are you coming home, Louise?"

Lou wanted to say yes, but she shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Maybe someday?" asked Jeremiah.

"I don't know," she said.

"We miss you here, Lou. Where have you been? I was gonna look for you, but Cody convinced me that you haven't left town."

She told them that she was staying at Jimmy's house. She was glad that Cody told them about her situation for she did not feel like going through the details at that time. The three siblings were chatting boisterously when Kid suddenly walked up to them with the baby in his arms. Jeremiah and Teresa knew that they needed some time alone and excused themselves.

Lou avoided looking in his eyes, afraid that she might see hatred and anger in them. She took the baby from his arms and kissed Shawn-Jed's forehead. She wanted to turn around and hug the man who she knew was watching her every move, but she was afraid that he would not return the same passion she still carried with her.

"Hey, baby, didn't you miss Mommy?" she said as tears spilled from her eyes. She was so happy to see her child. "Were you a good boyy while I was gone?" She unbuttoned her dress to breastfeed the child. Kid just stood there, watching the mother of his child. He heard about her staying at Jimmy's place. He was content to hear that she was with his friend and Rose Mary. She's probably safer there than anywhere else besides by my side . . .he thought sadly. I wonder what happened to Michael. Hell, he's probably working somewhere and plan on coming back when he's made lotsa money to support her for a lifetime. He stared at her dreamily, wondering how it would be to touch her again, to lay a kiss on the softness of those lips, to stroke her hair, to look deeply into her eyes.

Lou got up after a while and knew she had to get going. She could not stand the silence between them and was angry at him for not saying anything to her the whole time. She expected him to be at least decent toward her. He did not even say hi to her, much alone expressed any sign of emotion toward her. She wondered which was worse; his anger lashed out toward her, or just silence between them.

If he ain't talking to me, I don't have to say anything either, she thought bitterly as she handed their son to his father's open arms. He probably finds me so disgusting that he can't even speak to me. Why does he keep staring at me like that? His eyes look so sad and troubled. Is it because I'm gone or because I've returned?

She grabbed her bag and left without a word. She felt like crying after seeing Kid's unemotional reaction toward her. She started to believe her thoughts. Maybe he never did love her, maybe he just used her to satisfy his manly needs.

She was not in the mood to work in the saloon that evening and rudely turned down several offers of men to take her out that night. She usually tried to be polite when turning down the men, but now she did not even care. Her hurt caused by her husband affected her work negatively. Most men at the saloon knew she was not available for them. She was Spud's favorite woman in the place and was never given to anybody no matter how much they paid to spend a night with her.

She was working for almost eight hours when she felt like she could not take anymore of the ambiance and decided to call it a night. She was heading toward the dressing room when someone grabbed her from behind. She tried to fight the man, but he tied her hands. He smelled like whiskey, and his breath was warm under her skin. She felt his hands ripping her dress, his lips kissing her neck. She was screaming for help and prayed that someone would come to her rescue. She knew it was somewhat impossible for anyone to hear her considering that the saloon was usually loud and wild at that hour. She managed to kick him in the
belly, and he fell to the floor. She tried to free her hands from the rope, but before she could do so he slapped her hard across the face.

"Ain't you a little ball of fire, Ms. McCloud," the man said as he lie on top of her, his hands wandering all over her body. "I wish you have the same energy fighting me after I work you over with my sex machine. That husband of yours must be so lucky having you for a wife. Why did he ever let you go anyway? I certainly wouldn't." He slapped her again when she did not stop screaming. He grabbed her by the arm and told her to undress him. He slapped her repeatedly when she would not perform any sexual act for him. "Are you this stubborn even to your husband? No wonder he let you go. Well, I don't take no for an answer. You had your chance to please me; now I'm gonna take my chance to please you."

She lie on the bed lifelessly and helplessly. She did not have any voice left in her, but when she felt his lips on her neck and knew that it was not the man she wanted so badly, she cried out for help again. She began kicking and screaming until he smacked her in the face for the last time. She fell to the floor with the taste of blood in her mouth. The door opened, and the young man who led her to the office on her first meeting with Spud walked in. He heard her cries amid the laughter and music of the saloon. She held a special place in his heart for she reminded him so much of his old girlfriend who passed away a month ago. He punched the drunk man in the face and told him to get out before he lost control of himself. He then covered Lou's exposed body with his coat and carried
her to his room.

He sat on the chair next to the bed and wiped her face constantly with a wet towel. She did not come to consciousness until a couple of hours later. "Louise, it's me, Robert. You're safe now."

"Kid," she called softly. "Kid, are you here?" Her hand moved frantically on the bed as she searched for her beloved's hand.Robert took her hand and wrapped it in his. "Louise, are you okay?"

She tried to get up and fell back on the bed. "Where am I?"

"In my room, but don't worry. I didn't do anything to you if that's what you're worried about."

She looked at him, and he could not resist admiring her beautiful eyes. Lou closed her eyes and remembered what happened two hours ago, how she was almost abused again. "Thanks, Robert. I don't even wanna think about what could have happened if it weren't for you," she told him with a smile. She walked over to the mirror to examine her bruises. One side of face where the drunk man had repeatedly slapped her was swollen and purple. Her arms where he had held her violently were bruised. Her upper chest was red, and her right shoulder was badly bruised. Her head hurt, but she knew she had to go home before Jimmy came looking for her. She felt like crying when she saw her bloody wrists where the man had tied her. The rope tore her flesh, and the pain was oblivious to her until she saw the blood. "Oh, my God," she gasped as tears fell from her eyes.

Robert hurriedly stood by her side and hugged her. "I'm sorry for not getting there sooner. I'm sorry, Louise."

"I gotta go. My friends might be looking for me. I don't want them to worry."

"I'll walk you home," Robert offered.

"No, don't. You've done too much for me already. I can take care of myself."

"No, I want to. Please, allow me. Who knows what danger is waiting out there."

She smiled and said, "Well, let me get dressed. I'll meet you outside."

She looked at her torn dress and was thankful for Robert's coat. She changed into the green dress that she wore earlier that day. She remembered carrying her baby in her arms; once again she felt like dying. Why can't anything ever go back to how it was?

It was a nice evening outside, and Kid decided that it would be a good time to get some food at Tompkins' store. He bought some baby food along with food for him and Lou's siblings whom he loved like his own family. He was about to leave when he saw Louise walking with a young man. He could not help but feel jealous at the sight of her holding the arm of another man. Is this the game she's playing? Did she screw Michael like she screwed with me? Where does her heart belong to anyway? Does she even have one? He rode away from the couple into the fierce night.

Lou was glad that the moon was not shining so brightly so that the town folks did not have to see her swollen face. She was thankful for Robert's broad shoulder, which slightly covered her bruised face.

"What are you doing, working for a man like Spud?" she asked him.

"He ain't that bad, really," he assured her. "If it weren't for this job, I would be nowhere right now."

Lou still did not understand his reason, but she tried to be polite. "Well, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Take care now."

Lou entered the house quietly and was thankful that Jimmy was still in town, taking care of some criminal business. Rose Mary was already asleep and left a note asking her to eat before she went to bed. A rush of loneliness and isolation sent chills down her spine when she closed the door of the room. She missed snuggling with her husband in the cold autumn night, their sweet love-making that she could still feel ever so slightly in her dreams. She shook her head as she rested her head on the pillow. She did not want to cry over him anymore, but she did not understand why the tears just would not stop from coming. We've been apart for only three days, and I can feel myself already slipping away. I'd probably be dead by tomorrow, she told herself bitterly. Well, they say time heals all wounds, and as time passes by the hurt will go away. Then why does it feel like the pain is only getting worse each passing day? I guess if I can't get over him now, I never will. No matter what, I can't lie to myself anymore. I love him still whatever comes between us, and I'll always do. He will never accept me again; I had my chances, and I wasted them. She pondered deeply whether it was better to have that chance when he loved her, when he made her feel like she was the luckiest woman in the world, or if it was better to never have felt like that, to never have felt his touch so that she would have nothing to miss
when they parted.

The next day, she got up early to visit her family before Jeremiah and Teresa left home for school. She tried to cover her bruised face with her hair, but it did not work. Half of her face was still swollen terribly, and she certainly could not hide her wrists.

"Good morning, Louise," Rose Mary greeted her. "Ain't you a little early today?"

Lou avoided looking in her eyes. "I gotta see my family. I'll see you later tonight."

Rose Mary stopped her before she walked out the door. "Hold on a second. What happened to you?"

"I'm fine. There was just some drunk man at the saloon last night who got carried away. Someone came and stopped him before he did anything else." She tried to smile to prove that she was really okay.

"Be careful, Louise. Thank God Jimmy ain't here to see you. He left early today."

"Thank you for everything, Rose Mary. I don't know how I can ever repay all you did for me."

"Don't worry about that. You're always welcome here."

Lou headed to the house in silence with her head down. She hated the way the ladies were looking at her and the whispered words exchanged among them. She knew that she looked like she had been through hell, but she did not think it would capture too much attention. She was thankful when she got to the house and crossed paths with her siblings who were on their way to school.

"Louise, what happened?" was the first thing out of Jeremiah's mouth.

"I'm fine. I just had some incident last night, but nothing bad happened."

Teresa shook her head and hugged her sister. "Louise, come back. Please. We all miss you."

"I can't," she said even though she wanted to do so. "Hurry along now. You two will be late for school."

"Tell me what happened tomorrow," Jeremiah called after her. "I swear I'd get the man who did this to you."

"Go to school now!" yelled Lou after her brother. "Don't worry about me."

She knocked on the door, wishing that Kid had not left to work at the ranch. "Come in," she heard Kid called from inside. It felt strange opening the door of what she should call her home. "Shawn-Jed's in the kitchen," Kid said to her without looking at her. His sandy hair was wet, his face was freshly shaven. Lou could not help but admire him from the door. His shirt was not tucked in as he hurriedly looked for his boots and hat. The house was not as messy as she thought it would be, and she wondered who cooked for them. She walked to the kitchen and found the baby asleep. She took him in her arms to nurse him.

"Lou, I'm late for work, and I'm wondering if you could--" his voice was cut short when he entered the kitchen and saw his wife for the first time that day. What the hell happened to her? Who did this to her? Anger flashed in the blueness of his eyes as he saw her swollen face. He searched her body for other sign of abuse, and it did not take long for him to discover her wrists with rope burns and cuts on them.

Lou could not take anymore of his stare. She thought that he was mocking her, telling her that she was good-for-nothing now. "What's your problem, Kid?"

He walked closer to her and saw a red mark near her breast. She had slipped the sleeve of her dress to nurse the baby, and her bruised shoulder was clearly visible in the morning sun. "What happened to you, huh? Who did this to you?"

She did not know whether she should be happy with his concern or angry. "What's the matter, Kid? Why are you asking me these questions when you did not even speak to me yesterday? Don't worry about me, Kid. I've been hurt worse." She wanted to tell him how much he had hurt her, how he caused her so much pain unlike she ever felt before.

Kid sighed; his pride was telling him to leave her alone, but his love for her would not let him. "Fine, if you don't wanna tell me, you don't have to. Go ahead and do what you want. See if I care." He was so angry with her for not trusting him with what happened that he left her there with the baby. He remembered that he forgot to tell her something and walked back inside. He tried to hide the hurt in his eyes when he found her crying. "Cody will be here shortly to take care of the baby." He wanted to touch her so bad, to put his arms around her for comfort. She looked lovelier than the last he had seen her even though her face
was swollen. He knew that she would not allow him to support her now, especially with her being so stubborn. He wanted to kiss those lips and dry those tears, but he knew that she did not feel anything toward him now. I miss you, Lou. I hope you come home soon, he whispered in his heart as he stared at her. His eyes were tired; he had not been able to sleep much since she left. His night consisted of tossing and turning in bed, his hands searching for her warmth. Many times, he woke up calling for her.

"Lou, you gotta stop workin' there. It's too dangerous," Cody told her worriedly after she finished telling him her near encounter with the unspeakable. "What if something like this happens again and nobody's there to stop it?"

"Cody, I'm fine. That's all that matters now," she said.

"Well, I don't remember looking like you do even when Kid smacked me in the face."

Lou laughed. "I don't look that bad."

Cody looked at her seriously with growing concern in his eyes. "I wish I could say you're right."

"Cody, tell me somethin' but promise not to tell Kid that I ask."

"A'ight,"

"Does Kid ever talk about me?" she asked her trusted friend.

Cody smiled. Hell if they're ever getting back together, this is a start. "Yeah, he did."

"What did he say?"

Cody tried to remember what Kid had said about Lou. He tried to avoid any conversation that would lead to her and only mentioned her as little as possible. "He doesn't say much so I can't remember. But he did say something, little things though."

Lou nodded sadly. "I guess he hates me that much, huh?"

"No, Lou, that's not what I meant. I think it's more like him hurting so bad that he doesn't wanna bring out the cause of his suffering and self-destruction."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean by suffering and self-destruction?"

"He hasn't gotten much sleep since you left. He chops too much wood to last us a lifetime. He got so drunk two nights ago that he almost killed a guy after he made some rude comment about you."

"So he does know what I'm doing?"

"Yeah, kinda," Cody said. "I told him that you're working at the saloon and that Michael left for California. Other than that, he doesn't know much else. He doesn't know why you're doing this. I thought it would be better if you tell him. Maybe he'd understand more if he hears it from you."

"How can I tell him, Cody?" she told her friend. "He hardly speaks to me, much alone look at me."

"That's not true," he said truthfully. "I caught him watching you that day you left after visiting the kids. The look in his eyes tells me that he's still completely in love with you."

Lou hit Cody with the napkin playfully. "You exaggerate too much, Cody. How can I believe that?"

"Because I will never lie to you."

"Now that's even harder to believe," she said as she got up from the chair. "Well, I gotta go now, Cody. Thanks for baby-sitting."

Kid tried to put his mind to something else as he fed the horses, but images of Lou with the bruised face and shoulder and wounded wrists flashed in his mind. He drove the ax with such force as he began chopping wood, wishing that it was the man who hurt Lou. Cody came riding by with the baby just the way he instructed. He was happy to have some company. Cody's annoying talks could definitely make him forget everything else.

"Howdy, Kid," Cody greeted him as he handed him the baby. "Didn't I tell you not to chop any more wood?"

"Yeah, more than you should," Kid said as he caught his breath. "Here you try it."

"We've got enough wood already, Kid."

"So what took you so long anyway?"

"I was talking to Lou."

Kid tried to keep the conversation light. "Really? What about?"

"About what happened to her. Didn't you see her face?"

Kid slammed the wood in the pile harder than he intended. "Don't remind me."

"I was worried about her. I told her to stop working there."

"Why is she working there anyway?" asked Kid who tried not to look too eager or interested.

"You should ask her. I don't know if I could tell you."

"Cody, I ain't gonna get you in no trouble. Just tell me what the problem is. I ain't gonna do anything."

"A'ight, just put the ax down."

Kid was not aware that his grip on the ax had tightened. "Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"She needs money, Kid."

"Bullshit," he said with a broken heart. "That ain't true. She could have just asked any of us for that."

"I ain't lying. You know how stubborn she is. I even offered my share, but she wouldn't take it. She was too scared to tell you, afraid that you wouldn't understand. By the way you acted, I can't say I blame her."

"I have a feeling there's so much going on. Tell me everything you know, Cody."

The persistent look on Kid's face told Cody that it would be better if he told him everything he knew. He explained to him the whole situation, why Lou and Michael ran away in the first place and how she ended up working at the saloon. Disbelief and hurt were the dominant emotions written on Kid's face. "And she couldn't tell me all these?"

"She thought she could solve it without you worrying about it. She didn't wanna worry you anymore. She was really coming back, Kid."

Kid had to brace himself on the fence. He was so angry with himself for not listening to her, for letting her down when she most needed him. "I'm such a fool. What am I gonna do now?"

Cody smiled as he saw the worried look on Kid's face. "If I were you, I'd go to the saloon tonight and see her."

Kid shook his head. "I can't do that, Cody. She might get jealous and think that I'm doing it to make her feel bad."

"Oh, Kid," Cody said cheerfully. "You act like someone who's gonna ask a father for his daughter's hand. Don't worry, Kid. I can see that you still love her. I'm sure she'd love to see you."

Kid sighed. "I wish you're right."

After a shower and a shave, Kid headed to the saloon with a solemn purpose. He felt strange walking in there after a long time of not setting foot in the place. The place was wilder than usual; men repeatedly grabbed for the saloon girls rather rudely. He searched the big place for his wife and sat in the corner.

"Oh, my God, who's that?" one of the saloon girls asked another. "He is so fine. I want to take his order."

"What I wouldn't give to be with a man like that. Look at those eyes! I must have died and gone to heaven!"

Lou turned around to see what the fuss was all about. She rarely heard the girls talked about any man like that. Her eyes grew wide as she saw Kid. She wanted to hide herself under the table.

"Louise, you don't have to undress him with your eyes!" one of the girls teased her. They seldom saw any excitement, let alone any emotion, in her eyes. "I wonder what it feels like to touch him. I'm gonna take care of his table."

Lou wanted to do it, but she did not feel ready to face Kid yet. The saloon was the last place that she expected to find him. A part of her hurt with jealousy as she watched Lily, the pretty saloon girl, sat on his lap and flirted with him. She could tell that he did not want the company, but he smiled just to be polite.

"Louise, hey," one of girls interrupted her thoughts. "You can stop staring at him now. I know someone like him is rare, but we've got work to do."

"So what brings a handsome man like you in a place like this?" Lily asked as she put her arms around Kid.

"I'm looking for someone. Actually I wanna speak with the owner."

"Is that all I can do for you?" she asked him disappointedly. He could have asked for anything and she would have given anything to him."Yeah," he said. "Thank you."

"Well, I'll bring him out here."

A moment later, Spud came walking out to meet his customer. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"I'm looking for a particular lady. Her name is Louise McCloud. I was wondering if I could see her tonight," Kid said nervously. He did not know if his plan would work, but it was the only way he knew that would give him a chance to make up with her.

"Yes, there's a lady here by that name, but she is not on the menu. She only serves drinks, and that's about the only type of entertainment she serves."

Kid breathed easily when he heard this. At least she doesn't have to mingle with these men in bed. "Sir, I rode a long way for her. I really need this night to be with her," he lied. "I'm willing to pay for her."

Spud was taken by surprise as the young man slipped a gold coin in his hand. "Well, I'm sorry, but an agreement is an agreement."

"Maybe this will change your mind," Kid said as he slipped more gold and silver coins in his hand.

Spud could not resist withdrawing from such a good offer. "Okay, I'll send her to your room." He gave him the key to the best room in the saloon.

"Thank you, sir," Kid said as he quickly headed to the room. His jaw hurt from the tensed smile that he faked to look more convincing; deep down inside him, he wanted to punch Spud so bad for having that control and power over the woman he loved.

Spud found Lou sitting on a stool in the corner. He hated breaking the agreement, but money was just too tempting. "Miss McCloud, I'm afraid I have good and bad news for you."

"What is it?"

"Well, a man is expecting you in his room, but the good news is he seems like a nice man."

Lou got up and slapped the owner. "How dare you sell me to some drunk man? It ain't part of our agreement."

"I know, but he offered so much money for you just for one night that I could not resist. Heck, I'd probably let you go if you be a good girl to him."

"I can't believe you did this! I'm not doing it."

Spud grabbed her arm and threatened her. "You ain't going anywhere but upstairs, Miss McCloud. Besides one night with that man won't hurt as much as one night with me."

"You wouldn't!" she exclaimed.

Spud chuckled. "I might get my own taste of you if you don't do what I'm asking you to."

Lou thought hard about her situation for a while. I can always get away from that crazy man tonight. If I sweet-talk him good enough, he might even fall asleep before something happens. Robert will be close by to protect me. She made up her mind and headed upstairs. Robert nodded to her as if he understood. "Don't worry. Just scream if something bad happens, and I'll be right over," he reassured her.

What have I gotten myself into? I never sold myself, she reminded herself. He sold me to this man. How much did he pay for one night anyway? She felt so disgusted with the whole idea hat she almost threw up before she could even open the door. It took a while for her eyes to adjust in the dark. She felt like she was in a dream when she discovered Kid's figure on the chair. Her heart almost jumped in ecstasy when she heard him say her name.

"Lou? Are you okay? It' me, Kid."

She did not know what he wanted. Is he trying to embarrass me? "I'm sorry, Mr. Kid. I must be in the wrong room."

Kid almost ran to the door to keep her from leaving. "Don't. I asked for you tonight."

"What for?" she asked him with tears in her eyes. "So you can spite me?"

"That ain't me and you know it," he told her coldly.

"Well it ain't you to tell me you don't love me when you promised me you did either!" she told him bitterly.

Kid paused as he remembered the unspeakable day in the woods when he said that he never loved her after assuming that she ran away with Michael. He regretted it so much and wished he could relive that day again. "Lou, you left me with only a letter! You didn't tell me anything about why you were running away! What did you expect me to believe?" His face was so close to her now that he could feel her breath and see a flash of fear in her eyes as she backed away from him.

"What do you want, Kid? Did you get me here to fight with me?" she asked him as she stepped away from him.

Kid sighed and tried to push his pride away. "I'm sorry, Lou. I didn't come here to fight. I came here to give you a rest. You look so tired, and I thought maybe you should get a night to rest."

"Is this a joke?"

"No, Lou," he said. "I just wanna make sure you'll be okay. I'll go now so you can rest."

The thought of him disappearing from her sight broke her heart. She quickly grabbed his arm. "Kid, you can't go," she told him. The warmth of his arm in her fingers set fire in the depths of her heart. "You can't leave here."

"I don't understand." He felt some sort of electricity from her touch. God, I miss you so much, my love.

"If Spud see you outside, he's gonna make me work. Just pretend that something happens between us," she pleaded, knowing that deep down inside her, she truly wished that something would happen between them.

Kid nodded as if he understood. "Okay. You can take the bed."

"No, you paid for this. You take the bed. Besides you look more tired than I do," she told him. "What have been keeping you tired besides the ranch anyway?" she asked him, hoping at least to be friends with him. She hated fighting with him and just wanted to have a decent conversation. It would be better to have him as a friend than to lose him forever.

Thinking of you, missing you, he thought. "The baby," he merely answered as he reluctantly climbed to bed.

She began to prepare her little place on the floor by the fire. She felt somewhat renewed and happy with him even though she did not quite understand what he wanted out of this.

"Lou, I ain't gonna let you sleep on the floor!" Kid told her as he grabbed the pillow on the floor and put it on the bed.

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"The bed's big enough," he sighed, pretending that he was not too happy with the idea of sharing a bed with her when, in truth, his heart was pounding mercilessly in his chest, and he prayed to God that she would not hear it. "You sleep on that side, and I can take the other side."

She sensed his nervousness and discomfort. "Don't worry, I won't bite," she teased him. There was a big space in the middle of them as if it was a boundary between them. "You know it's funny why you picked me out of all those girls at the saloon." She began taking off her dress to put on a nightgown in the dark. Kid tried to adjust his eyes in the dark and make out as much as he could in her figure.

"What girls?"

"C'mon, Kid. They were all drooling for you. Don't you remember that pretty little thing on your lap a while ago?" she teased him as she climbed to bed and pulled the blanket up her waist. Kid was lying on the bed without a blanket. He took off his boots but still had his coat and hat on.

"They're not my type," he told her honestly as he inhaled deeply, trying to inhale her sweet scent.

"You know it's funny," she began to say to lighten up the mood. "This is the last place I expected you to be. But what I really can't figure out is why you paid so much money for little old me considering those pretty girls at the saloon or even outside the saloon who would go for you for free?"

"I just wanted you to get some rest," he told her. "Who cares about the other girls anyway?"

Lou breathed easier knowing that no woman had caught his eyes yet. "Do you want me to ask for another blanket?" She felt bad having the huge blanket all to herself.

"No, it will be too suspicious."

"I don't mind sharin' it," she said.

He wanted to refuse, but the idea of getting closer to her changed his mind. He took the other end of the blanket that she offered and tried not to lose his composure when she moved closer to him. You don't know how much I miss you, Lou. You don't know how you make me feel so much happier just by being around you. I love you so much.

"Isn't this strange," she said drowsily. "A while ago, I wouldn't even have imagined this happening. We hardly talked these past few days, and now we're here in a strange room in a strange place surrounded by strangers outside. I wouldn't have pictured this a while ago." Kid saw a frown crossed her face as she said, "But then again, I never for once imagined what happened between us in the woods. Who would have known that something like that could spark unspoken feelings toward the other? The truth comes out in strange ways, don't you agree?"

Kid shook his head, trying to push the bitter memories of the morning in the woods. He did indeed say some lies to cover up his broken heart and shattered pride. He really believed that she left him, and he was so scared to death about the idea of her not coming back. "No," he said slowly. "Sometimes lies come out in strange ways to hide the truth, pain and hurt." She closed her eyes to hide away the tears as he continued. "You still haven't explained everything. You promised to come back, to let me know the truth behind why you did what you did. I guess I didn't really give you a reason, or even a chance, to open yourself to me. I was wrong about things, but I ain't the only one. It hurts me to know that you don't trust me with your past. Everything I've done, I did for you, for us, for our family. Believe me when I tell you that you've always been my reason why I do what I do. It hurts me to know that you can't bring all your problems to me. You said you love me, but how could you do so when you hide your past, a part of who you are, from me? I'd love to believe in happily ever after, but from the way that things are flowing between us, I just don't see it. When we're together, I feel so alive. Then something comes along, even little things, and we break apart so easily. Noone can make me angry like you can. I'm sure noone gets to you like I do. You see how this will end? Love ain't enough to hold us together. I'm too prideful for my own good; I admit that. You are too stubborn for your own good, so stubborn that you wouldn't even admit it. I guess you were right when you said a long ago that it ain't the right time for us. Time has passed, and it feels like it still ain't right even when sometimes it feels like everything is so right, especially when you're by my side. I guess we just weren't meant to be. I may love you still, but it'll never work out between us."

Lou sobbed softly as she heard those words spoken. She hated him for saying them, but she knew that there was so much truth in everything he said. "So you come here to say goodbye?" she asked him as she tried to stop her tears.

"I didn't plan to. Actually I wanted to do just the opposite, but now I see things more clearly. You and I are just too different."

"So what now?"

"I guess you can take the house. I can stay with Cody until I get a place of my own."

"You'll let me stay at the house?"

He nodded. "It's more yours than it would ever be mine. Jeremiah and Teresa need you. Our baby needs you."

She turned to face the other side of the room, still crying. Kid wanted so much to put his arms around her, to comfort her, to kiss her until they drowned in passionate kisses, but he could not bring himself to do so. He fell asleep with his eyes drowned in his own tears and the echo of her cries in his ears.

The autumn sky, covered in gray clouds, darkened slowly due to the absence of the sun. No birds were in sight, only the mourning howl of the owl was heard as if announcing a disappointing end, the death of a blossoming relationship. Kid rose up from the bed as he took one last look at the woman in the bed. She looked sad, and he felt bad knowing that he was responsible for her sorrow. He did not feel any better either, maybe even worse than she felt. He bent down and kissed her lips softly, careful not to wake her up. He grabbed his coat and put on his hat and walked out the door into the wildness and the rowdiness of the saloon.

Lou woke up searching for her husband. A sweet dream regarding the man she loved caused a brief oblivion in her mind. The empty bed hit her with reality as she remembered their last night of being together. She searched the room for something that would tell her that it was just a nightmare, that it did not happen at all. His lingering scent on the bed screamed the end for her. It felt like the world just tumbled over. There was nothing left for her; everything had slipped away when he walked out of her life. Now she knew that she needed to start all over again, and she wondered sadly if she still remembered how.

ONE WEEK LATER

My Dearest Louise,

I am overwhelmingly happy knowing that you are through working at the
saloon. On the other hand, I am deeply saddened by your husband's
departure. Only time will tell if his love for you is strong enough to
withstand the obstacles along the path of your relationship. I patiently
wait that in time his heart will find the humility to swallow such pride
and learn to forgive. I seek only for your happiness, and greatly hope
that someday it becomes complete.

I am well here in California. I recently purchased a small land to raise
cattle. Remember that you are always in my thoughts. I promise to come
and visit you one of these days. Don't ever be sorry for what you think
you put me through regarding the work I had to do for Spud Montessor. It
was a time well spent knowing that I did it all for you. No matter what
happens, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Take good
care of yourself. Best wishes to your family and friends in that
friendly town, Rock Creek. See you in the future, and hopefully the
future holds the best for both of us and our loved ones.

Forever missing you,

Michael Fierceson

Lou could not help but cry at the sweet words of her friend as she hugged the letter close to her heart. It had only been a week since Kid left, but it felt like it had been forever. The rest of the family returned to Rock Creek from the festival in Texas three days earlier, saying there was too much work to be done. They learned about the events that occurred while they were away, and no matter how much they disagreed, they tried their best to respect the decisions reached by the two young lovers. Kid left town unannounced. Noone knew for sure where he went to, for what reason, when and if he was ever coming back. Lou assumed that he fell in love with someone else outside of town, and even if she wished he would return, she did not expect him to. Cody had mentioned
something about spotting him in the shop that they owned outside town; that was all they ever heard about him. Several men in town, after learning that she was free from her dormant marriage, suddenly started knocking on the door, wanting to court her. She became quite flattered by the attention that these men gave her. A part of her wanted to give them a chance, but something inside of her wanted to shut them away from her heart that she knew would always be owned by her estranged husband. There was still a part of her that was waiting for him to come back, but as days passed slowly by, she was not sure anymore if he ever would.

"Hey, Louise!" Teresa greeted her tiredly after a long day of school. "Richard sends these flowers to you; he said that he sealed the attached letter with kisses."

"Just put them on the table," she said as she sadly remembered who else used to give her such beautiful fl daisies.

Teresa knew that her sister's mind drifted again to Kid. She was upset with her brother-in-law for breaking his promise of being committed to his sister. She studied her troubled sister intently. Why don't you open yourself to changes? You are still young and beautiful, Louise. There are so many good and handsome men who love you, who want to marry you. Why can't you make way for new love? "Why don't you rest, Louise. I'll do the laundry this afternoon. You aren't yourself today," she said softly to appease the troubled thoughts that was bothering her sister. Actually, you haven't been yourself lately.

"Thanks, Teresa. I'm gonna ride Lightning for a while, and I'll stop by the ranch to see if there's anything I could do there. Take care of the baby while I'm gone," she said softly as she went out of the house.

Cody sat on the top of the haystack with a gigantic rose in his hand. "Irene, Liseth, Samantha, Deborah. Irene, Liseth, Samantha, Deborah," he said slowly as he plucked the petals one by one.

Buck gave the blond cowboy a strange look. "Cody, can you get off your butt and do something productive today?"

Cody scowled and continued with what seemed like a trivial activity to Buck but meant the world to Cody. "Let me just do this, a'ight?" The sound of horse's gallops made him look up. "Well, look who's coming."

"Hey, Lou," Buck greeted her. "What brings you out here?"

She smiled tiredly. "I wanna help out with the ranch for a couple of hours." She felt guilty of Kid's sudden departure and wanted to somewhat make up for the loss of help in the ranch.

"You don't have to. We can handle it just fine. You should go home, Lou, and take care of Shawn-Jed," Buck told her.

"No. I already rode out here so I might as well stay." She turned to look at Cody, wondering why his usually talkative mouth was shut. "What are you doing, Cody?"

"I'm trying to figure out who I should ask to the big dance tomorrow night. Whichever name matches the last petal of the rose will be the lucky girl."

"Isn't that a weird way to figure out who you want to go with?"

"No, 'cause I like 'em all the same," he told her. "Now quit talking to me! Look what you did, Lou! I forgot where I was. Guess I'll just have to start all over."

Buck groaned. "You've been doing that for hours, Cody. You've wasted about ten roses already!"

"Well, I kept losing track of the name. Now if you don't mind, I don't want to be bothered right now."

"Cody, you really need to do some work around here," Buck warned him.

Cody groaned. "Why is it that when I'm talking, y'all always tell me to shut up, and when I don't talk, you guys come botherin' me."

"Because when you talk and even when you shut up, you still don't do anything!" Buck joked as he watched Cody began what seemed like a ceaseless activity.

Buck and Lou shook their heads as they began a busy afternoon of work. Lou felt good working again. Ever since she and Kid got married, he made her agree to stop working. He thought that taking care of the kids was enough to keep her busy all day. Work took her mind off things that were constantly bothering her like whether to go to the biggest dance of the year. Several men had already asked to take her, not to mention the others who were still planning to ask her. She did not feel like dancing with any man if he was not the one she loved. She could not imagine someone else's arms around her, another man's hands on her waist. It would never be right knowing that those arms were not the arms that she craved for in many sleepless nights. But how could she say no to these men who never gave up on her without breaking their hearts? Even worse how could she even say yes to any of these men when none of them was anything she dreamt of?

Lou returned home just before the sunset. She wanted to continue working there, but she knew she was needed more at home. Hopefully my baby's asleep so I can get some rest. She was surprised to see Teresa waiting for her with a radiant smile on her face.

"Hey there, Louise. These are for you," she said as she handed her some white daisies rather too enthusiastically. The flowers were inde