TRAIL OF DREAMS
TRAIL OF DREAMS© Courtnee
Dec. 9, 1862
The night was lit only by the faint glow of stars. Although their was no wind, Kid could hear softly russling grass. He was surrounded by union soldiers. He could see their shapes, a piece of the night, only darker, huddled in groups of maybe four or five.
Silently Kid fell back crouching as close to the ground as he could manage without alerting the guards posted at random around the edge of the camp. Katy was waiting for him in the forest, his beautiful Katy. She was so faithful to him, always doing what he bid of her, without hesitation.
The first time he saw her he knew he had to have her. In her own way, Kid was sure Katy felt the same attraction. With the odds against him, he had entered a boxing match, the prize being equal to the cost of Katy. His competition was at least two times his size and was obviously a professional, trained in the beating of men. Kid fought with all his heart and in the end he had prevailed, Katy was his.
Abruptly, Kid noticed an enemy soldier stand up, stretch, and then crouch back down. A moment later the acrid smell of cigarette smoke assalted his nose. Kid retreated, he would have to detour around this man. With ease he made it back to Katy.
Having been a Pony Express rider before he joined the Confederate Army, Kid had been idealy chosen to be a scout by General Robert E. Lee. Lee was one of the finest soldiers the South had, having already been triumphant in many of the major battles. With his strategic moves and extraordinary ability in leadership, Lee was sure to lead the South into victory. What they had thought would only be a short war, won in only a few weeks, had turned into a contingence of grieving men, women, and children. Many lives were lost and dreams unfullfilled. It seemed to most as though the war had started a life time ago.
The cold December air chilled Kid to the bones. Right now he should have been in bed, cuddled warmly with his wife. Pain clutched at Kid's heart as the memory of Lou washed through him. That had been the hardest thing he had ever done, leaving her. But loyalty to his country demanded him, possesed him, like honey to a bee. Lou had understood what drove him, and for that he loved her even more. She had written to him about Noah. A tear slid down his cheek, as Kid thought of the son he had never seen. How could he ever forgive himself for abandoning his family. They needed him, loved him, depended on him and yet still he selfishly gave himself to the war. Sometimes he would would wake up, unable to picture Lou's face in his dreams, and would pull out the letters she had sent him. For hours he would read them over and over, untill at last, he could recall her beautiful smile and warm eyes.
"Please Lord," Kid whispered into the night, "Please let me live to see them."
Dec. 10, 1862
Gen. Robert E. Lee stood in the entrance of the tent, his dark form a silhouette in the flickering candle light. Kid dismounted Katy and left her alone to rummage the winter swept land for food.
"Kid," Lee said with a nod. "Any news?"
"They're about a day's ride from here heading towards Falmouth."
Lee turned and motioned for Kid to enter the tent. He poured them both a glass of whiskey and then sat down to ponder the situation. A torrent of emotions flicker across Lee's face as he thought and re-thought different strategies.
Kid, not wanting to disturb his commanding officer, sat quitly sipping his drink. After a few drinks, he began to warm up. His face was flushed by the time he had finished it. Lee hadn't even touched his, too deep in thought to concern himself with the task.
Finnaly Lee turned his pensive eyes upon Kid, "Get yourself some sleep son."
Kid moved from the tent and retreived his horse. Plauged with the memory of Teaspoon Hunter, he made his way to his designated campsite. After he had unsaddled Katy and rubbed her down, he unrolled his saddle bags and settled down. The sky had already begun to lighten with only about an hour till day break
Kid lay starring at the stars, a thick stack of letters clutched to his chest, and uncovered forgotten memories from his past. Lou had been a scrawny looking young boy, when he had first seen her. Quickly she proved herself capable to the other express riders, and barreled her way into their hearts. Kid had been the first to find out her secret. From there a relationship bloomed between the two of them.
And now they were married...with a son. Moveing closer to the dying fire, Kid opened the first letter, worn out by its frequant use. It didn't matter, though, he knew every word.
Dec. 12, 1862
General Burnside led the Federals to the Rappahanock on Dec. 11. There they spent the entire day building five pontoon bridges.
Durring the night Gen. Lee had entrenched his troops on Marye's Heights, where they were now lying in wait. This gave the Confederates the advantage by first, allowing them to see the enemy before the enemy saw them, and second the Federals had to come uphill before the battle could even begin.
The excitement was evident in the new recruits, they were anxious to become heros. Nervous laughter filled the air, as well as passionate ballads partial to their circumstances. Their horses ready to bolt at the slightest indication.
The veterans, also felt a sence of excitement, but not entirely for the same reasons. They just prayed they would survive this battle. A bitter look was plastered on their faces as they came to their own personal terms.
"Hold your stations!" Lee bellowed, the chain of command echoed the phrase on down the line. They watched as the enemy marched up Prospect hill aganizingly slow.
"March on!" The lines of confederate soldiers surged forward.
For three days the Battle of Fredericksburg ensued. But finnaly on Dec. 15, the conflict came to and end. The South had won. What would a been a joyous accasion, was instead a day of morning for the men who had not survived. They quickly claimed the bodies, removing anything of use they could find. Sentrys were formed to bury the dead and the wounded were transported to makeshift hospitals. The causalties of both sides had totaled to over 17,000 with still many more missing or taken prisoner. Both sides were devastated.
"There is nothing more we can do."
Kid lay in pain. He had been wounded on the second day of the battle and almost a week had gone by since. A question formed on his lips, but he dreaded voiceing it for fear of what the answer might be. He had seen many situations like this and was fortunate his leg hadn't been amputated. That method was the fastest and easiest solution during the war, albeit not the most favorable for the patients. "Will I be crippled?"
"Well now, that's up to you, Kid. It'll take time but, eventually you should get some use out of the leg. Although, you will never be able to ride like you used to." The doctor was called away, and promised to check back in on him the next day.
Kid slept on and off for the rest of the day. Thoughts of his injury plagued him in his dreams and in his waking hours. 'Never be able to ride like you used to' tumbled around in his head. It wasn't fair. He had left behind his beloved wife for the damn war and now he was a cripple. Horses were his life, how could he make a livin now. He had a wife and a child to care for. How could he face Lou, she would be so dissapointed. She deserved better.
Bitterness consumed Kid. Anger ate at his soul. Self pitty ingulfed his heart. He had let down his family, all for a false loyalty to a land that had given him nothing but grief. Would Lou forgive him for his betrayel and worse, could he forgive himself.
Just then one of the many young nurses brought him his dinner. "Sir, your food."
She indicated for him to take the bowl from her hands.
"I ain't hungry."
"Please Sir, you must eat something so you can get strong again." She pleaded with the stubborn man.
"I said I ain't hungry!" frustration prompted him to shove the food from his face. The sudden movement knocked the bowl off balance and the nurse watched as it shattered on the ground. Kid pursed his lips in a pout and flung his arms across his chest. The nurse, embarrassed as a dozen pair of eyes turned their way, fled from the room.
The next three days were filled with similar incidents. Soon the nurses stayed away from him, fearing retaliation for any effort on his behalf they may make. That afternoon Kid was especialy rude, having not slept enough the night before. As Gen. Lee stepped into the crowded hospital, two nurses offered their assistance.
"Thank you, Ladies. I'm here to visit a friend. He goes by the name Kid." as the General finished his explanation, he noticed the look of reproach on their faces.
"I feel I must tell you that he is not particularly a very pleasagnt person. Infact, none of the other nurses will venture near him. It seems that he is struggling with a personal battle."
Lee raised an eyebrow at this. "Thank you for the warning, Ladies." It was quite obvious the two women had not exagerated, the look on Kid's face could kill. "Kid."
"General," Kid acknowledged.
"You've made quite a topic around here, or so I've heard." Lee chuckled to himself, he truly liked this young man, who seemed to demand respect just by being present. But Kid wasn't amused in the least, instead his scowl deepened.
"I ain't in the mood for company."
"I thought you might like to..."
"I don't need your pity or anyone elses. Just leave me be!" Kid was oblivious to the fact that Lee was still his commanding officer.
"Now look, I'll leave, but first I want you to listen to what I have to say." Lee squatted down, not wishing to draw any more attention to himself. "I have no pity for you, instead it is directed to your wife and son. They're expecting the same Kid they watched ride away, although maybe a little battle-hardened, to come back to them. You've been delt a tough hand, but your still in the game. Don't waste your chance by feelin' sorry for yourself." Lee layed his burden at the foot of the bed before stiffly walking away.
With his pride stung, Kid refused to indulge his curiousity by excepting the package. But after a couple of hours gave in. He gasped as he unraveled the cloth from the gift. Inside lay all the letters Lou had sent him. Tears fell from his eyes as he hugged the letters to his heart. "Oh, Lou," he cried, "I need you here with me."
The bitterness eased from his soul, purged as the love he felt for his mate consumed him. He cried long into the night, stopping only to read each letter.
As Lee had left the hospital, he handed a sealed letter to the doctor, instructing him to deliver it to Kid on the next day. Kid had officialy been discharged from the army due to a crippling injury. With in a month he would be with the family he desired so much.
