Chapter 22

Kid found Lou in the parlor of Rachel's house, pacing, or rather, stomping around the room. 

He leaned against the doorjamb, wondering if she'd heard him come in.  "Lou," he called softly.  When she didn't stop moving, he wasn't sure if she was ignoring him or just hadn't heard him so he called a little louder, "Lou!"

He was taken off guard when she whirled around so fast to face him it caused her skirt to nearly wrap itself around her legs.  He saw so much fire in her eyes.  When it came to Lou, Kid was very good at putting his foot in his mouth and saying the wrong thing; but this time he didn't think he'd said the wrong thing.  He was doing what he needed to, why couldn't she understand that?

"Lou," he began, slowly approaching her.  "I know this baby is making you more emotional than you would be."

"Oh, you are so wrong, Kid!" she retorted, clenching her fists into tight balls.  "This has nothing to do with the baby, this is all me.  I am so mad at you."

Kid held up his hands to try to calm her down, he knew this wasn't good for her in her condition.  "Just take it easy, alright," he began.

"Don't tell me to take it easy.  What happened to all that talk about us finally being together at our own place, waiting for the baby to be born?  No more being in danger, chasing bad guys, just enjoying what we have, what we're going to have."  She paused and placed her hands on her stomach for emphasis.  "Did you forget the promise you made to me?" she continued.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked in shock.  "You know I haven't!" he told her, starting to get mad, himself.

"You promised to never ride on without me again.  Did you mean it or was it just words you were saying, something to satisfy me with?" she asked, her voice catching, trying to hold back a sob.

"It meant everything to me and it always will.  I said it from my heart," he told her sincerely as he tenderly touched her arm.  "But, Lou, you can't keep shoving it in my face every time a situation arises. It can't be applied to everything that's going on in our lives; I'm sorry but it can't."

"Why can't it?" she asked, walking away.  She walked toward the window and stood looking out, her back to him.  "The result seems the same in each case, with you leavin'."

"Don't, Lou.  You did it once and it worked.  That's why I couldn't argue about you comin' with us to go after Pierson's men - we had just gotten married, I didn't want to have to tell you what to do.  I'd gotten into enough trouble doing that in the past.  I didn't want to forbid you from doing something you felt so strongly about, even if I didn't think you should go."  He got tired of talking to her back so he went and stood next to her.  Suddenly he was feeling confused as to where this conversation was headed.  "But if your idea of trying to stop me is by wanting to come along, then I am gonna have to put my foot down," he told her sternly.

"I don't wanna go, that's not what this is about," she told him, turning to face him.  "I want you to NOT go."  She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt a chill run through her body.  She met his eyes briefly then sat down on the sofa.  As Kid sat in the chair opposite her, she softly said, "I don't understand why you feel you need to go anyway."

"I'm going on account of Jimmy."

"Jimmy!" she exclaimed.  "What the hell does this have to do with Jimmy?!"  She knew full well what it had to do with Jimmy but she wanted to hear it from Kid.

"Everything," Kid began to explain.  He crossed to her and knelt in front of her, his hands resting on her knees.  "Don't you understand what Jimmy did by coming here and asking me to ride with him?  It has nothing to do with needing extra men for a posse or wanting to ride with guys he knows.  Lou, this was Jimmy's way of saying he's sorry for everything he said to me and for not lettin' me have my say.  He's makin' the first move to try to repair our friendship."  He moved to sit next to her on the sofa, taking her small hand in his.  "I wasn't very nice to him when it came to Rosemary.  They may not be together but it still hurt him and I did it on purpose for that reason.  And there's only one way for me to say I'm sorry and that's to agree to ride off and help him.  Put my life in his hands like he's putting his in mine."

"Can't you just shake hands like normal people?" she asked, half jokingly. 

Lou looked at him as he knelt in front of her and suddenly images of past events began to run through her mind.  How many times had Kid and Jimmy fought over their differences in how to handle a situation they were faced with?  They’d almost come to throwing fists but in the end, they’d both do what needed doing, no questions asked.  She recalled the day Kid had knocked out Jimmy so he wouldn’t have to face Longley and how he went after Jimmy when he’d quit and headed to Regrets.  Only a true friend risked the wrath of another man, trying to help him out when he didn’t want it.  How about the time Jimmy offered to stand in for Kid when Kid had called Cole Lambert out?  The most recent memory was when all the riders had helped the army capture Pierson’s gang – Jimmy and Kid had jumped on that wagon to arm that gun without thinking twice about the heated words they’d exchanged just days earlier.

It may not have been the most conventional way of going about showing how much they cared for one another but it sure did get the point across in her book.  She saw him looking at her with a goofy grin on his face and found herself smiling.  She shook her head.  "I guess you wouldn't be the Kid and Jimmy if you did things the normal way."

"No we wouldn't be," he agreed.  "Lou, everything's gonna be fine, I promise you."

Lou looked him right in the eye.  "Kid, don't make promises you can't keep."

"Well, I can keep this one," he assured her.  "Nothin' is gonna stop me from comin' back to you, to both of you."  He brushed her hair behind her ear and kept his hand gently caressing the side of her face.  "Besides, look who I'll be with - Jimmy, Buck and Sam.  What could possibly go wrong?" he asked, trying to make light of the situation.

"You want a list?" she offered.  Lou took hold of his hand, bringing it down away from her face.  She tenderly squeezed it then let his fingers slide off the tips of hers.  She got up and went to the window once again.  "I'm scared, alright?  Is that what you wanna hear me admit?  I'm afraid of what could happen."  She knew she sounded angry but she was angry, angry at herself for feeling this way.  “You know, Kid, you weren’t the only one to worry when we were riding.  You think it was easy for me to watch you leave when you took that mochilla in your hand?  It’s easy to say a person’s a good rider or knows how to handle a gun but there’s so much out there that we have no control over.  And all the person back home can do is wait and hope and wonder.  Whether there’s a lot at stake or not, if you care for someone, you’re gonna worry - comes with the territory of caring.”

Kid went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.  When she seemed to relax under his touch, he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist.  He ran his hands over the spot where their child grew.

Lou instantly put her hands over his and closed her eyes, as she rested her head against his chest.  "Kid," she began, lifting her head and directing her gaze his way.  "It took a lot for me to get to this place in my life.  It wasn't easy but I wouldn't rather be anywhere else except here with you.  And that's where I want to remain, with you by my side as we wait for our child to be born."  He touched her stomach once again and she squeezed his hands tightly.  "Don't leave me, Kid, please don't leave me."  She couldn't stop the tears that slowly made their way down her cheeks.

"I ain't goin' anywhere," Kid said, kissing the tears away.  "You'll have me for the rest of your life."

"After you go on this ride with Jimmy," she concluded in a whisper.

"After this ride," Kid said, nodding.

Lou understood what Jimmy's friendship had always meant to Kid and how much he missed it.  She knew he had to go or he wouldn't be the Kid she loved and had married. 

She turned until she was completely in his arms.  "I need you, Kid, I need you now," she told him, running her hands through his hair. 

He didn't need to be told twice.  He scooped her into his arms and carried her upstairs.  He didn't know how long they were going to be gone - all he knew was that he wasn't going to waste any of the time he had left with his wife.  He paused outside the guest bedroom, their room while in this house.  He took her lips with his.  "I love you, Louise," he mumbled in between kisses as she opened the door and he kicked it shut with the back of his boot.