Chapter 21

Lou instantly let go of Kid’s hand upon hearing those words come out of his mouth.  She stared at him in disbelief.  He wasn't thinking clearly, she told herself.  There was no way he would do something like this, not after all the conversations they've had recently.  Not after all the new developments in their lives.

She wrapped her arms around herself.  This wasn't like the feeling she used to get when he went out on a run delivering the mail; this seemed so much more real, more serious.  She was suddenly mad at him for considering such a thing; they were in this marriage together.  How could he just give an answer without discussing it with her first?  Didn't he know what was at stake?  This was her life too, dammit!

Kid was oblivious to Lou letting his hand go.  As soon as he had said those words, it was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  Jimmy had taken the first step in repairing their friendship and it was up to Kid to see that it was carried out.  And he knew if the tables had been turned, if he had been the one to make the first move, Jimmy would have responded in the same manner. 

He smiled at Lou quickly before asking once again, "Jimmy, when do we leave?”

Jimmy hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until he heard himself exhale.  The longer it had taken Kid to respond, the more Jimmy was starting to feel he’d been too hasty in assuming they could brush this disagreement aside like they had with so many before this.  “Uh, we leave first thing in the morning,” he answered, grateful to be able to give that response.

Kid nodded as he stood up and moved to Lou, smiling at her all the while.  He reached out to rub his hand up and down her back compassionately. 

Lou pulled away from his touch as if it had scorched her.  She took a step away from her husband as she looked at him in disbelief.  She quickly glanced around the table to see if the others were as shocked and dismayed as she was by what Kid had said.  The only thing evident on their faces was relief.  She started fiddling with the ends of her hair as everyone started looking her way.  She knew she had drawn the attention her way but what she really wanted was to make Kid understand.  Lou just knew she couldn’t do that here.

Jimmy didn't know what to make of Lou's behavior.  He’d never seen her retreat from Kid’s touch, not even when they’d broken up.  Kid had responded the same way Jimmy would have and he was sure Lou knew it.  Besides, this wasn't the first time Kid had been asked to be part of a posse or asked to pin on a deputy's badge.  Why was she acting this way? 

Kid couldn’t figure out what was going on with Lou.  It was what he knew she’d wanted ever since Jimmy had rode out of their lives; she’d never stressed it in words but he could feel it whenever the subject of what had happened between the two men was brought up.

“Lou, what’s wrong?” Kid asked as he tried to take hold of her arm.  He found her pulling away again.

“Nothin’,” she mumbled, holding up her hands in a gesture to get him to not touch her again.  Now she was avoiding all the eyes upon her.

“Don’t give me that.  Something’s bothering you, now what is it?”

Instead of answering, Lou did the only thing she could think of, the only thing she was good at – she ran.  Turning on her heal, she gave Jimmy a quick glance before she brushed past Kid and ran out the door, slamming it closed behind her. 

“Lou!” Kid called out to no avail as he heard her footsteps stomp down the steps.

"Louise!" Rachel called after her, not totally taken by surprise.  Lou wasn’t the type of person to act openly when something upset or bothered her; it was customary for Lou to go off by herself and stew.  But Rachel knew her well enough to know she would want to discuss how she was feeling with someone.  She started to rise from the table, only to feel Teaspoon's restraining hand on her arm.  She glanced his way and met his eyes, understanding what he was telling her with a look.  She wanted so badly to go after the young woman, make sure she was alright, but Teaspoon was right, it wasn't her place to do so.  That was Kid's role now as her husband.

Jimmy stared at the door.  It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Lou leave instead of discuss something that was bothering or upsetting her but there was more to her behavior this time.  The look she’d given him as she’d left – it was as if she felt he’d let her down somehow.  He just wasn’t sure what to make of that.  All he was trying to do was mend a broken friendship; he never thought anything bad would come of that.  He turned his gaze upon the man standing opposite him who seemed to be as confused as he was.  What have I done? he asked himself. 

Kid thought he’d handled the situation the best he could so why was Lou getting all upset by it?  He suddenly realized the baby had been making her emotions all crazy as of late so that had to be the reason for her behavior.  What else could it be?  Well he had learned from past mistakes that it was better just to apologize and hear her out.  He turned halfway toward the door then stopped.  "Jimmy, I apologize for ... "  he waved his hand through the air indicating what had just happened.  He didn't even know what had transpired here so how could he put it in words?

"Kid, if I overstepped my bounds, I'm sor -" 

"You didn't, Jimmy," Kid interrupted, directing his attention toward the table again.  He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.  "There's, um, there's been a lot goin' on with us you don't know about.  A lot of changes all at once for Lou, what with the Express closing and figuring out how we're gonna make some money.  We got our own place now ... a lot of work ahead of us there."  He opened the door then turned back around.   "And she found out she's gonna have a baby."  He glanced around the room at his family then went out, quietly closing the door behind him.

Jimmy stood, staring at the closed door.  A baby? he thought to himself.  He heard the sound of shuffling feet behind him and dishes clinking together, which finally brought him back to the present.  "Lou's with child?" he asked in disbelief.  He turned toward Teaspoon and Rachel.

Teaspoon nodded as he accepted another cup of coffee.  Rachel took some dishes off the table and answered, "She just found out for sure and told Kid the good news yesterday."

"Kid shouldn't be going off with me, he should be here with his wife, picking out baby names and whatever else needs to be done," Jimmy said, waving his arms around while he paced back and forth.  "I shouldn't have come ... I shouldn't have asked."

"Son," Teaspoon said, trying to get his attention.  "They got plenty of time for all that baby business, she ain't even showin' yet.  You did the right thing comin' here.  Kid knows it or he would never have said yes."

"If I had only known," Jimmy said, sinking back down to the table, holding his head in his hands.  "I never even thought of that possibility, all I was thinkin' of was what I wanted."

"Jimmy," Buck said, standing up.  "He said yes for the same reason you asked him.  Lou knows it too; she just doesn't want to accept it.  It'll work out, you'll see."  At least he hoped it would.  Lou meant so much to all of them and no one wanted to see her upset but he knew Kid was the only one who could change how she felt.  He patted his friend on the shoulder.  "Charlie, what do you say we head to the barn and start getting some things ready?"

"Sounds good to me," Charlie agreed, eager for the change of scenery.  "The meal was right fine, Mrs. Dunne, thanks a lot."

"Glad you enjoyed it, Charlie," Rachel said as he and Buck left.  "Buck's right, Jimmy, it'll all work out in the end."  I hope, she said to herself.

"Course it will," Teaspoon agreed as he came up alongside Jimmy.  "No reason to doubt it won't," he said, afraid he didn't sound overly convincing.  This was a torn situation; he was relieved things looked to be on the mend between Jimmy and Kid, yet, he didn't want any heartache to come Louise's way.  She deserved all the happiness she could get.

"I always feel like I'm comin' between them, one way or the other," Jimmy said.  "And don't try to tell me I don't, 'cause it's true." 

Teaspoon patted his shoulder again as he met Rachel's worried eyes; he slowly walked out the door, leaving the young man to his thoughts.