Chapter 17

As Jimmy and Charlie rode into the yard of the former Express station, Jimmy was amazed at the differences in the place in such a short time span.  When he was still a rider, there was always one of the boys around doing chores in the barn and the corral was usually full of horses during the day.  Now, as he got off his horse to take a look around, the place seemed almost deserted.  The barn was much too quiet and the only horses in the corral were Lightning and a couple he remembered being Express ponies.

"This is it?!"  Charlie asked, not at all impressed.  He at least thought it would have been a much bigger place, considering the amount of mail that came out of this town.

"Yeah, this is home,"  Jimmy said.  "Or at least it used to be,"  he added as an afterthought.  His eyes fell on the bunkhouse and suddenly time seemed to go backward to more than a month ago, to the last conversation he'd had in that building.  He walked toward the steps as he'd done that day, the words he'd said and heard replaying themselves in his mind;  it seemed as clear as if it had just happened.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Can't you see what she's doing to you?"  Kid asked in a raised voice as he followed Jimmy into the bunkhouse.  This wasn't the first time he'd tried to bring this subject up but he was determined this time to get his opinion heard.

Jimmy picked up his hat off his bunk then looked up with a smirk on his face.  "Apparently I can't.  Why don't you enlighten me with your wisdom, Kid?  You being the expert that you are, seein' as how you've been married all of what - seven days?!"

"This has nothin' to do with bein' married, this has to do with what's goin' on in plain sight only you're too blind to notice,"  Kid cried out, exasperated.  "That's why you need to know before it's too late."

"Too late for what?"

"To keep your feelin's from gettin' stepped on ... and to save our friendship,"  Kid added quietly.

Jimmy leaned against his bunk, arms crossed in front of his chest.  "Well, tell me then.  What could Rosemary possibly be doin' to me?"

"She's using you!"  Kid finally got out then paused to slow down his breathing and temper.

Jimmy laughed at the audacity of Kid's statement.  Why wasn't he surprised that he would get no support from his friend on his new found relationship?

"That's right, Jimmy.  She's trying to get you to help her with her cause, to take over where Isaiah and your father both left off.  That's why she's interested in you, Jimmy ... the only reason."

"You know it all, don't ya, Kid?"  Jimmy suddenly chuckled before continuing,  "Though you sure didn't know how to move things along with Lou, did ya?  Good thing I was there to teach you the finer points of 'dancing'."

"Shut up, Jimmy, we ain't talking about that.  We're talkin' about how Rosemary is using you to get what she wants and the only way she can succeed is to get you away from here, away from us.  She has you so confused right now, you don't even know what you're givin' her or givin' up."  Kid moved until he was face to face with Jimmy.  "Can't you tell she's turning you against us?  It's already happening or you would listen to what I have to say."

"I ain't listening to you, Kid, 'cause it's nothing but a lot of manure you’re shoveling around.  I guess you just can't stand the thought of someone else being happy, huh?  You got everything you want, don't you?  You got the perfect little wife to share your bed with, to make babies with - and just think, you can take her any time you want.  No more sneakin' off to the barn in the middle of the night.  Though I'm sure each time I woke up and saw those two bunks of yours' empty, all you were doin' out there was talking and holding hands, right?  I'm sure you were the perfect gentlemen we all know, weren't ya, Kid?"  Jimmy asked sarcastically.

"You leave Lou out of this, Jimmy.  I never thought you'd insult her the way you are."

Jimmy looked away out of remorse.  He never meant to indicate Lou was anything but the most respectable of ladies.  He had never meant to hurt Lou in any way but he saw an easy target and took it.

"But then that's what you're good at, isn't it?  Pushing away anyone who tries to help you out 'cause we all know Wild Bill Hickok doesn't need help from anyone, least of all a southern boy, am I right?"    

"Yeah, you're absolutely right, Kid.  'Sides if there's one thing I know, it's women.  I take them for who they are - I know Rosemary ain't perfect but at least I accept her the way she is and I wouldn't try to change her."

"You couldn't change her if you wanted to, Jimmy,"  Kid told him, knowing where this conversation was headed and wanting to avoid the topic.

"But you're gonna change that wife of yours, aren't you?  You're gonna break her spirit, just like you do those horses in the corral.  You're gonna hang around long enough til there's a part of you growin' in her belly then you're gonna leave her behind and go cross the country to fight for your home, going against everything Noah stood for."  Jimmy stood not more than two inches away from Kid as he threw those hated words at the southerner.  He had never accused Kid of anything so awful but right now he felt that his friend deserved it and more.

Kid glared into his eyes, not believing what he was hearing.  "You know what I think?"  he started, his voice slow and deliberate.  "I think you're just plain jealous - you're jealous that Lou chose me, you're jealous of the life we have ahead of us, and most of all you're jealous of what we share when we're alone 'cause deep inside you know that all you're gonna get from Rosemary is someone to warm your bed at night and nothing else."

Eyes were locked on each other as long stored thoughts and feelings were suddenly put on the table.  Neither moved for several moments until finally Jimmy decided he didn't need to hear anymore.  Kid was wrong and he was right, that's all that mattered to Jimmy.  He finally shook his head and said,  "I don't need to stand here and listen to this." 

Jimmy brushed roughly against Kid on his way to the door.  He paused and slowly turned around.  "I don't need you, I don't need any of you."  He opened the door and slammed it behind him, closing out that chapter of his life once and for all.