Seasons

- an illustrated story by: Jill D.

Standard disclaimer

© 2000
All illustrations, except title graphic, are © Jill D.

Mile after endless mile, the dusty plains roll by. The waving grasses of the prairie stretch as far as the eye can see, alternating with bushes of sage and an occasional scraggily willow.

I stare out the window, as I have for hours, though I know the landscape will not change. Anything to take my mind off the incessant bumping and stifling heat of the stagecoach.

Hannah stirs on the seat next to me, drawing my attention from the window. My little Button. My quiet, shy little Button. I gaze down at my sister, her face flushed from the heat, fiery curls plastered against her forehead as she sleeps. Gently, I smooth them away, before turning to look at the rest of my family, all sleeping like five year-old Button. Next to Hannah, nine year-old Sarah slumps against the side of the coach, her long red braids draped limply over her shoulders. On the seat across, Miriam forms a mirror image of her twin. Even in sleep, they are a team, dreaming of the schemes and mischief they will cause when they wake. Beside Miriam, twelve year-old David has also succumb to weariness and, despite his protests of an hour ago, is sleeping. David, our true Irish soul with his impulsive spirit and heart of gold. He has managed to weather all the rocks life has thrown at him and still retain his child-like curiosity and love of life, along with the same amazing knack for finding trouble that he shares with his sisters. On Davie's lap, four year-old Benjamin is sleeping, curled tightly in his big brother's embrace. Ben, who daily keeps me on my toes, but always melts my heart with his impish smile. Finally, I glance down at the small form I'm holding, tiny Abigail. Like her siblings, two year-old Abby is also dreaming, her usual whirlwind of motion replaced by the calm of sleep.

I sigh as I once again gaze around at my brothers and sisters. It's a rare moment that finds the McLaughlin clan so peaceful, but I am not thinking of that. Instead, I notice the exhaustion etched onto every face, the youthful bodies so weary. These six little souls are all that I have left in the world, and they are depending solely on me to take care of them. They have been through so much all ready! How do I know if I am doing the right thing?

'Oh, Papa, should I be doing this, dragging them away from their home out to this wilderness? Can I really do this? What gave me the idea that I could take this job anyway? Papa, how I wish you were here! I wish you could tell me what to do!'

Again, I turn to the window, thinking of our journey. Five months. It has been five months, since we left Maine. Five long months of wandering, looking, and hoping. And it has been seven months since the day my heart broke, the day I held my papa as he died and promised him I would take care of my brothers and sisters. When Papa died, part of my heart died with him. I still go on with life each day and I love and laugh and smile, my siblings see to that, but it sometimes feels like I'm just existing, not really living. And I never cry. It's like a part of my heart has been locked away and no matter how hard I try, I can't find the key.

'Papa, I feel so trapped and scared sometimes. I'm not sure what to do!'

Suddenly, I can hear exactly what my papa would say as clearly as if he is standing right next to me. "Beka, remember th' seasons. Life's full o' seasons, an' just as surely as winter follows autumn, spring always follows winter. Nae winter lasts forever, lass!"

'I'm trying, Papa' I want to say. 'I'm trying to find spring!' I look again at my napping brood. They have come so far for me and been through so much, but at least we are still together. I don't know how good I will be at being a teacher but I hope I can do it. For their sakes, I have to!

"SWEETWATER, NEBRASKA TERRITORY, COMIN' UP!"

The shout from the driver startles me out of my thoughts, and wakes my sleeping red-heads.

"Are we there, Beka?!?" Sarah asks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Aye," I tell her.

"Finally!" Miriam sighs.

Instantly, six pairs of eyes are glued out the windows of the stage, sleepiness gone. Six faces glow with the excitement that only children can show. To them, everything is an adventure waiting to happen, and the McLaughlins would never think of passing up an adventure.

Soon, the stage lurches to a stop and we are in the great "city" of Sweetwater.

"Can we get out now?!? Please, we can't see anything in here.!" Davie pleads. I look at the sweaty faces before me, all framed in the same flaming read hair, and all with the most angelic expressions pasted on."

"Aye, but stay right...."

"Yeah!"

"Let me out!"

"No, I get to go first!"

"DAVIE, let go of my hair!"

"OUCH!"

"You started it!!"

"Angels? More like mayhem incarnate." I mutter under my breath as I watch the mass of arms and legs spill out of the overland stage. Well, Sweetwater, ready or not, here we come.

Emerging from the stage, I quickly take a head count to make sure that all my little devils are still with me. One, two, three, four, five. Oh dear, where's number six. I glance around, and in so doing, get my first real view of the town

Sweetwater, from what I can see, is a typical frontier town. Clapboard buildings literally spring out of the ground, like cliffs from the sea. The whole town consists of one street, buildings lining each side, ending as abruptly as they start. A hotel, a saloon, a general store, the marshal' office... A few scrawny trees valiantly try to maintain life amidst the dust. Dust! It's everywhere, covering the street, the buildings, the people. We really are in the middle of nowhere.

"Miss, here's yer luggage," the driver calls me back from my daydream. He unceremoniously dumps our bags and cases on the road next to us and climbs back on the stage, slapping the horses into motion.

There's no going back now.

"Beka, are we gonna stand here all day?" Miriam tugs on my sleeve, reminding me of my initial thought.

"Where's Button?" I query my siblings, as I lift a weary Abby into my arms.

A bright face covered in freckles peaks shyly from around Davie's legs, smiling at me.

"You stay close to Davie, alright," I tell her and she nods emphatically. "Okay, everyone let's get outa the road and check into the hotel. You guys aren't hungry are you?" I tease them.

"Beka! We're starving," Sarah moans, dramatically holding her stomach. Immediately, Miriam takes her cue.

"Yeah, we're practically dead!"

"Alright, alright," I laugh. "We'll go eat. Davie, you take the suitcase and hold on to Button. Miriam and Sarah, take the satchel and Papa's fiddle. Ben, you stay in between them and hold their hands. I'll take the carpet bag and Abby. Come on you imps, if you're so hungry. Forward march!"

Getting all of us and our belongings to the hotel in one piece is rather like herding sheep, except sheep respond better! Finally, we find ourselves in the lobby of the hotel. Setting the carpet bag down, I hand Abby over to Miriam.

"You all stay here. Don't touch anything. Don't move. Don't even look out the window and think about moving," I command in my best no-nonsense voice. "I'll be right back." I leave them in a group and walk over to the clerk behind the desk.

"Good afternoon, Miss. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'd like two rooms for the night, please."

"Two?" he asks, giving me a curious look.

"Yes, two," I repeat.

"May I ask who the other room is for?"

"My brother and sisters," I respond, indicating where they are waiting, not so patiently, in the corner. I'm puzzled by his question.

He gazes over my shoulder at them and I can see him totaling up their worn cloths and dirty faces. Then he turns back to me. "I'm sorry, Miss, but we don't allow children in this hotel. They tend to be a disturbance to our other guests. I'm sure you understand," he says giving me a superior smirk.

"No, I don't," I answer back.

"I'm sorry. I'm afraid you will have to go elsewhere."

"And where else is there to go?" I ask a bit sarcastically, barely maintaining my composure.

"Sometimes the saloon lets out rooms. You might try there."

Now, I have been blessed with a great many things from my parents, Papa's wit and humor, Mama's thoughtful nature, but I also inherited several of their faults. Underneath a layer of Mama's steady Danish calm (and I'll be the first to admit it's a rather thin layer) there lies a streak of Papa's Irish stubbornness as thick and immovable as granite. Prod too deep and you'll hit it, and then may all the saints preserve you. When my temper flares, it usually burns.

"The Saloon!" I sputter. "You want me ta take these children and stay at the saloon! How dare you suggest such a thing! No thank you! We'll find other accommodations. An' I can tell ya right now that I will never again set foot in this fourth rate establishment!" I turn around and storm back to Davie and the kids. Grabbing Ben's hand and the carpet bag, I drag Ben out of the hotel, the others right on my heels.

Outside, I march down the boardwalk, a raging tide of emotions surging inside me. The saloon indeed! We seem to attract trouble enough as it is, we don't need to go looking for it!

"Beka. Slower," Ben's voice penetrates my rage. Glancing down I see that he is running on his short legs to keep up, panting heavily. Instantly contrite, I stop walking.

"Sorry, Ben."

"What are we gonna do now?" Miriam asks, breathless from running after me, Abby riding on her hip.

"Does this mean we ain't gonna eat dinner soon?" Davie questions, coming up behind his sisters, Hannah in tow.

There they all stand before me, their faces fixed expectantly on me, their older sister, looking to me to figure out what to do. But I don't know what to do! I'm only seventeen years- old, I want to scream! Why should I have to make decisions like this? I want to be one of the kids standing there looking to another for guidence, but that is no longer possible. Like it or not, I finished my childhood the day I cradled Papa in my arms and watched him die.

My eyes wander over these children that are depending on me. I see Davie's thread-bare trousers and scuffed shoes, Hannah's faded frock, and Sarah's and Miriam's dresses that are too short. And then I notice something else. There, shining in six pairs of eyes, is trust. Complete trust in me, that I can take care of them and everything will be alright. I can't give up now. I can't let them down.

Taking a deep breath I draw up my courage before speaking. Coming to Sweetwater to be the new school teacher, I had planed on staying at the hotel until we could get a place of our own. With that plan now blown out of the water, we will just have to be creative. An idea pops into my head. "Well guys," I say to my siblings, "How would ya like ta sleep in the school tonight? It might be kinda exciting. We'll have party and we can all tell stories. That sound alright to you?"

"Really, all of us?"

"And can we stay up really late?"

I have to smile at their ability to make lemonade out of the lemons in life, because goodness knows, they've been given enough lemons. I hope that no one will object to us staying in the school house for the night, because I don't have a plan C.

"Yeah, just this once you can stay up late, all of ya."

"Yippy!"

We find the school with relative ease, but the door is locked. Setting my bag down, I stop a man as he walks by.

"Excuse me sir, but do you know who I should talk to for the key to the school?"

"Well, now let me see. Ya probably want ta go see Marshal Hunter. He's got keys fer just about everything. His office is jist down there, ya see the sign?"

"Yes, thank you," I tell him as he moves on.

"Do we hafta lug our stuff around anymore, Beka?" Davie complains, and they really do look tired.

"No. Davie you stay here with the twins n' Button and watch the bags. Abby n' Ben n' I'll go talk to the Marshal, won't we, Ben," I say.

"Sure, Beka. I wanna see the Marshal," he grins, grasping my right hand with his small, sweaty one. I settle Abby on my left hip and we are ready to go again.

"Please stay outa trouble," I implore the rest of my gang as I walk away. "Just for one day."

As we approach the marshal's office, voices float out into the noisy street from inside.

"Teaspoon, how come I'm always the one who has ta make the special runs? Why don't ya send Ike fer once, er Cody? He ain't done nothin' much lately."

"'Cause Teaspoon likes ta save us fer the really important jobs, ain't that right, Ike?"

Entering the office, I notice that it's already quite crowded. The small room contains two jail cells, a hat rack, and a large wooden desk. Sitting at the desk, his feet propped up on top and his chair tipped back, is a rather grizzled old man wearing a black top hat. Surrounding the desk are three young men, heavily involved in friendly bickering. No one notices when we enter.

"Cody, the reason Jimmy's goin' is 'cuz Rachel requested specifically that I keep ya around. Somethin' 'bout you promisin' ta fix the barn doors."

"Excuse me," I try to draw their attention, "I'm looking for the marshal."

Suddenly, I find myself the subject of four very curious pairs of eyes. The old man stands up and I notice for the first time the badge pinned to his chest.

"I'm Marshal Hunter," he says as he approaches with a slight tip of his hat. "How can I help ya, miss?"

A little unnerved to be the center of attention, I try to stammer out a coherent response.

"I'm Rebekah Mclaughlin an' I'm here to be the new school teacher," I say. I feel a tug on my hand. "Oh, and this is Ben and Abby," I finish lamely.

"A pleasure ta meet ya," the Marshal says warmly. "And what can..."

"Teaspoon, ain't ya gonna introduce us?" one of the young men, a blonde fellow dressed in buckskins with fringe, interrupts the old Marshal.

"Now, Cody, ain't I told ya it's rude ta interrupt a person!" Marshal Hunter growls at him, and I fight back the urge to smile. "'Sides, I was a gettin' ta that. Since yer in such an all-fired hurry, guess I'll do it now!" The Marshal turns back to me and the kids. "These here is three a my express riders. That one there with the big mouth is William F. Cody."

Cody sweeps off his hat and bends down in an exaggerated bow. "It's a pleasure ta meet ya, Ma'am," he says. "And please just call me Cody."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Cody," I answer, once again swallowing the urge to laugh at his theatrics. The other two young men just roll their eyes.

"If yer done now, Cody, I'll finish," the Marshal says and I think he is also holding back a grin. He then turns to the next youth. He is a tall man with shoulder length brown hair and a black hat. His dress and manner mark him as a gunfighter, but his eyes shine with hidden kindness. "This here is James Butler Hickok," Marshal Hunter continues.

The young man nods in my direction as he says, "You can just call me Jimmy.

"Glad to meet ya, Jimmy," I return.

Finally, the old Marshal comes to the third young man, the one standing closest to us. He has been quietly observing all that has been said, but has made no move to join the conversation. His face is pleasant and his whole manner speaks of a kindness and gentle nature that seems out of place for the "wild west." Curiously, his head is covered by a red bandanna and his hat hangs down his back. I notice all of these things in an instant, but his eyes captivate me. They are two of the most expressive eyes I have ever seen! Not wanting him to catch me staring, I quickly look away.

"This is Ike McSwain," the Marshal finishes his introductions.

"Glad to meet you, too, Ike," I tell the young man and he nods his head in return.

"Well, if you boys is done interrupting," Marshal Hunter says with a pointed glare in Cody's direction, "I will finish askin' the lady why she needs my help."

Abby is growing heavy in my arms and I shift her up higher on my hip. She is so tired, I haven't the heart to make her stand. Ben is still gripping my hand tightly and staring in wonder at all the cowboys before him. Wearily, I turn back to the Marshal and try to explain our situation.

"I was told you had the key to the school house and I was hoping I could get it from you or at least have you unlock it for us."

I can give it to ya, but what do ya need it for? School ain't startin' for another three weeks," Marshal Hunter asks as he hooks his thumbs through the pair of pink suspenders he is wearing, a puzzled look on his face.

Embarrassed, I hesitate to tell him why, but having no other option, I launch in.

"Well, we were planing on staying at the hotel until we could find a home of our own, but the clerk told me rather bluntly that children aren't allowed." I feel my temper rise again unbidden at the memory, but I quickly force it back down and continue. "So, I was thinking that the kids n' I could stay in the school until we can get our own place." I glance hopefully at the Marshal, praying he won't say no, but it's not him that answers.

"Teaspoon, ya can't make 'em stay in the school house!" Jimmy protests loudly, joining the conversation again.

"Yeah, there ain't even any beds there!" Cody backs Jimmy up. I glance at them and find that Ike is also nodding in agreement, though he hasn't yet spoken a word.

"Will you boys jist hold yer horses!" Marshal Hunter growls impatiently at them. "I ain't even said I'm gonna let 'em stay in the school yet."

My hopes sink as I listen to his last words. Now what are we gonna do? I open my mouth to plead, but he holds up a hand to stop me.

"My boys is right. The school ain't no place ta stay with these youngins. But we have plenty a room out at the station and we'd be right pleased if you'd bring yer son an' daughter an' stay with us 'till ya can find yer own place."

When Marshal Hunter refers to Ben and Abby as my son and daughter, I start to blush furiously and I duck my head in embarrassment.

"Um..." I try to begin. "Ben 'n Abby aren't my children. They're my brother and sister. I'm not married," I sort of mumble as I stare at the ground.

"I thought ya were too young ta be their mother!" I look up at the sound of Cody's voice, just in time to see Ike slug him on the shoulder and give him a severe glare.

"What?" Cody cries indignantly.

"Cody, just shut up," Marshal Hunter tells him. He then turns back to me and clears his throat. "Well, yer welcome ta bring yer brother 'n sister an' stay with us."

"Thank you but we don't want to impose, Marshal," I start to stutter.

"No buts," Marshal Hunter says, "And it ain't imposin' if yer invited. Now why don't ya just call me Teaspoon and it's all settled."

"Well, you really don't understand," I try again, thinking of the four others they don't know about yet.

"I understand ya need a place ta stay and...."

"BEKA!! BEKA!!"

The sound of my name being yelled is accompanied by pounding footsteps. I whirl around and see a streak of red as a breathless Sarah dashes through the doorway.

"Beka-some-boys-was-teasin'-us-an'-callin'-us-names-an'-I-TOLD-him-not-ta-do-it-'cuz- you'd-kill-him-but-he-didn't-listen-an'-now-Davie's-in-a-fight-with-em'-an'-Button's-cryin'-an'-Miriam's-helpin'-Davie-so-I-came-ta-get-you!!" Sarah finally takes a breath as she finishes her message.

"Why me?!?" I mutter under my breath to the heavens. Without even thinking, I turn and thrust Abby into the arms of the first available person, who happens to be a very startled Ike. I pass Ben's hand into his free one and, gathering up my shirts, take off running down the street after Sarah.

The place where I left my brood only twenty minutes before now looks like a scene from one of the clan wars! Davie is fighting ferociously with two boys about his age, and despite a rapidly blackening eye, looks considerably better than either of them. Miriam is holding her own against a third, fighting like a tigress. Little Hannah, however, is not enjoying the fight. Se is standing on the side next to our luggage, tears leaving trails down her dirty cheeks. So much for my command to stay out of trouble! I should have know that was impossible. Trouble seems to follow us like flies follow the manure cart!! Not for the first time today, I just feel like sitting down and joining Button in her dispare, but that won't solve anything.

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" I command in my loudest teacher's voice. The combatants freeze, Miriam in mid-swing, and turn to look at me, startled. For a moment there is complete silence, but my two fighters soon recover.

"See, we told ya we had a big sister!" Miriam shouts at the bullies, sticking out her tongue.

"Yeah, an' she fights even better than we do," Davie says proudly. I have to steel myself to keep from smiling. I'm supposed to be angry here!

"And she's also gonna be the new teacher so ya better watch out," Miriam adds for good measure.

"Alright, that's enough, all of you!" I demand firmly. "You," I round on the three boys, "Get on home and I will expect to see you in three weeks at school, hopefully on better behavior." Surprisingly, the boys quickly obey, running off down the dusty street. I watch them for a moment before addressing Davie and Miriam.

"I TOLD you guys to stay outa trouble!" I admonish exasperatedly. "We ain't even been in town for an hour and look at ya! You look like ya got caught in a hurricane!"

"But Beka, they called us dirty Irish beggars!" Davie's eyes smolder as he says this and I feel my own blood rise, but I force myself to retain my control.

Hannah is still crying softly, sitting in a dusty heap by our bags. Going over to her, I lean down and gather her up into a tight hug.

"Sh, Button, it's alright, they're done fightin'. Davie 'n Miriam are okay," I tell her as I stroke her back. Turning to the other two, I finish my lecture.

"I don't care what they called ya, you shouldn't have started a fight!"

"But if they'd a been bigger 'n it'd been you they was callin' names, you'da socked 'em ta Tahiti," Davie mutters under his breath.

I open my mouth to defend my honor, when I hear a hearty chuckle behind me. Surprised, I spin around and find myself face to face with Teaspoon, Cody, and Jimmy.

"Somehow I believe he's right!" Teaspoon says, still shaking from laughter. "All these hoodlums belong ta you?"

I nod 'yes.'

"I ain't seen a sorrier lookin' bunch since Ike brung home that half drowned litter a squirrels," Cody leans close to Jimmy and whisper with a grin, and I have to admit it's true. Every single one of us is covered with dust from head to toe, and our clothes are limp and wrinkled from the stage ride. Our hair is messy and escaping every-which-way from hats and braids. Hannah's face is streaked with tears, and Miriam's and Davie's are smeared with blood and bruises. I heave a deep sigh as I think of the "grand" first impression we have managed to make on the town of Sweetwater.

"Boys," Teaspoon says to his riders. "I think it's a good thing ya brung the wagon inta town. Don't know how else you'd ever get all these leprechauns ta the station."

"You mean you're still gonna let us come and stay?" I ask incredulously.

"Well now, that depends on one thing," he replies.

"What?"

"Whether er not you got anymore red-heads stored away! If ya do, bring 'em out now an' be done with it!" The twinkle in Teaspoon's eyes is heartwarming, and I know I'm gonna like this man. It's been a long time since anyone teased me like this.

"Aye," I say, drawing myself up to my full five feet and using my father's best Irish brogue, "This be all o' us , tae be sure. An' the McLaughlin clan be right glad tae met ye!"

"Um, Beka?" Miriam interrupts my little speech. "Where's Ben 'n Abby?"

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaim. "Poor Ike!" For the second time in less than ten minutes, I hike up my skirts and take off running down the street. As I enter Teaspoon's office I fully expect to see a frantic Ike standing in the middle of utter chaos, but I stop short at the sight that meets my eyes.

Ike is sitting quietly on a chair, holding Abby on his right arm and cradling her to his chest, her cheek resting on his shoulder. Ben is on his lap, leaning against his other arm, Ike's cowboy hat covering his head so that only his nose and mouth are peeking out. I stare in amazement at both of my wild angels, fast asleep!!

"Ike, you are a worker of miracles!" I whisper, shaking my head in wonder. A broad grin splits his face and he lowers his eyes, a little embarrassed. Suddenly, I feel a slight flutter near my heart as I look at his shy smile and see him holding my brother and sister so tenderly. It's a strange feeling, one I've never felt before and it scares me. I quickly smother it and continue speaking to Ike.

"I'm sorry I just dumped them on you," I whisper again as I gently take Abby from him, trying not to wake her. I hold her in my arms, laying her head against my shoulder. I reach down to take Ben from Ike as well, but Ike shakes his head 'no' and gathers him up in his own arms, cowboy hat and all.

"Thanks, Ike," I mouth silently as we carry our sleeping bundles out onto the street and walk over to rejoin the others.

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