AND JILL CAME TUMBLING AFTER

Jimmy had changed, and the changes were immediately apparent. His long hair had been cut, cropped close to the back of his neck, his bangs falling in his eyes. He had lost several pounds and was now as lanky and whippet-thin as the Kid. More than the physical, however, had changed: his eyes, which had always been gentle, if overly cautious, were now green pools of indifference. His mouth was an unyielding line with no promise of humor, and Jack felt his cool detachment even from across the room. She tried not to look at him, but she couldn't stop herself. She sneaked looks over the rim of her coffee cup, darted sideways glances at him when the attention was focused on someone else, and could hardly concentrate on what was actually going on around her. Her eyes were filled with Jimmy. She wanted nothing more than to run across the room and fall into his arms, to tell him how sorry she was, how wrong she'd been, how much she still loved him. She wanted to smooth the worried lines from his forehead, to put life back into his haggard face, but she didn't dare make a move. She had no right to.

They were seated in the living room. It was late, at least ten o'clock, and the children were upstairs, asleep at last after a mighty battle to be allowed to stay up with the adults. Only Maddy, nearly dropping with fatigue after her long journey, had succumbed willingly to bedtime. Jimmy saw Maddy clearly in his mind's eye: a little girl so like Jack it was amazing. She had Jack's hair and eyes and sparkling laugh, but also Jack's soft, sweet ways, her gentle nature. He would always treasure the memory of the child's first smile at him. From across the table, nestled against her mother, Maddy had flashed him a smile, bright and shining, filled with curiosity and immediate affection. There was no mistaking the affection. For whatever reason, she had decided that she liked him, and the thought warmed him through and through.

"Will you be staying here with Lou and Kid, then?" Rachel was asking.
Jack and Lou exchanged a grin.
"Lou has made me promise to stay with them at least three months, under penalty of death," replied Jack. "So I've taken her up on it."
"Wise move," Kid nodded.
"And will you be going back to England after that?"
Everyone turned to Jack with anticipation. Jimmy prayed silently that the answer would be yes.
But after a moment Jack said, "I wouldn't want to swear to it, of course, but I'm reasonably sure that we won't be going back."
"Hooray!" Lou cried, unable to help herself. "You really mean that, Jack?"
"Yes, I do. My mum and dad are happy back in England, they've got their own lives to lead. They'll miss us -- especially Maddy -- but they've already agreed to come visit when we've settled in. Besides, there's nothing else for us there. Everything we need is right here, in Sweetwater."
"And it only took you six years to figure that out," Lou teased her.
Jack smiled wistfully. "Actually, it took me a lot less time than that."
"I wish you would've said somethin'," answered Lou.
"I had things to sort first, Lou. I had to do things right for a change, instead of just leaving when I got the notion. I'd made that mistake twice already. And I had Maddy to think of, not just myself."
As if on cue, small footsteps were heard in the hall. Every head swiveled round to catch a glimpse of the visitor; after a moment, a small, curly dark head peered round the corner, and they were treated to Maddy's dark blue eyes and cautious smile.
"Mummy?" she whispered. "Mummy, I can't sleep."
Everyone smile at the sight of her as she stood there, prim and adorable.
"What's the matter, Maddy?" Jack asked, rising to cross the room and kneel before her daughter.
"Hannah kicks, Mummy. She kicks dreadfully."
"She doesn't mean to, darling."
"I know, Mummy, but she does, and it hurts, and it wakes me up. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep."
"Do you want Mummy to read you a story?"
"No," Maddy said matter-of-factly. Then she leaned her mouth to whisper in her mother's ear, withdrawing again with a giggle.
"Now, Maddy, you know it isn't polite to whisper," Jack reprimanded with a grin that matched her daughter's. She patted Maddy on the bottom, urging her forward. "Go ahead; ask him yourself. He doesn't bite."
Maddy crept forth shyly till she stood before Jimmy. She dug her bare toes into the carpet and ducked her head. "Uncle Dimmy, would you...would you tuck me in?"
Everyone watched as Jimmy visibly melted before their very eyes. He touched his big hand to the little girl's and whispered back, "I would be honored, Maddy."
With that, Maddy's head flew up, and she beamed at him. "Okay!" she chirped. Holding her arms up, she reached for him. "Pick me up and carry me, okay, Uncle Dimmy?" As soon as he had done as she asked, Maddy curled up in his arms and rested her head on his broad shoulder. "You can carry me to the bedroom, uncle Dimmy, and then you can put me into bed, and I'll tell you what song I want you to sing to me, and then you can kiss me good night, and I..." Maddy's squeaky little voice began to fade away as Jimmy carried her into the hallway. They heard him trudge upstairs, and then all heads seemed to turn back to Jack.
"She adores him," May said.
"He seems to adore her," added Rachel.
Jack was watching the hallway they had disappeared into. Her eyes were faraway. She could already see the sort of father Jimmy would have made their own child. Even now she couldn't think of the wee baby without tears pricking at her eyes. She had christened him Thomas Butler before his burial. It had been her mother who had urged her to give the child a name, and even through her grief Jack had seen the comfort in this. There were those who had told her that at least she hadn't had the chance to get to
know her baby; at least the baby hadn't lived long enough to suffer; at least...at least...at least. There seemed to have been a dozen different lines repeated to her over and over. Well-meaning people trying to comfort her who had succeeded only in making her longing more acute. They seemed to think her baby meant less to her because she hadn't had the chance to get to know it. Nothing could have been further from the truth. That child had grown inside of her for eight months, a living reminder of love and life.
For eight months she had read to him, sang to him, talked to him, told him stories of his mother and father and all the people ready to love him in return. And Jimmy had never been given that chance.

"Jack," Buck called softly. "Jack, come back to us."
She shook all such thoughts away and laughed. "Sorry. I was miles away."
"It's late; you must be exhausted, and here we are just eatin' up your sleepin' time." Teaspoon was reproachful.
"You're right, we should all be goin'. There's plenty of time to play catch-up, right?" Rachel stood, gathering her shawl closer about her shoulders. She stooped and kissed Jack on the cheek. "I'll be over here tomorrow evenin', after school's out. You get some rest and let Lou mother you for a while. She's gotten pretty good at it."
"She can't cook much better," Buck was compelled to add, "but she's a pretty good mama."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't Lou's cooking we just had?"
Lou averted her eyes, a sheepish smile spreading across her face. "I, um, made the salad and cut the biscuits."
Kid instantly swooped his wife into his arms protectively. "That's all right," he protested, nuzzling his nose into Lou's hair, "she didn't marry me for my looks, and I didn't marry her for her cookin'."
Jack watched her friends fondly, but could not stop the well of hurt that rose up in her. 'What's wrong with me?,' she wondered. 'This is Lou and Kid. They're my family.' But it was so difficult to watch them. She cleared her throat, "I'm going to check on Maddy and see if she's asleep yet. I'll see you all tomorrow."
She disappeared into the house and began climbing the stairs to Hannah's room. As she neared the door, Jimmy's voice began to drift out into the hallway, becoming clearer and clearer with each step she took. He was talking to Maddy.
"...and I'll put you up on my horse and teach you to ride."
"You promise?" Maddy's voice was a tired yawn. "You promise, Uncle Dimmy?"
Jack crept closer to the door and stuck her head around the doorframe. Jimmy was seated beside Maddy, who was under the covers with Hannah snoring
gently next to her. Jimmy leaned over Maddy, his long fingers laced together
with her little ones, their hands resting on her pillow. It was dark in the
room, the only light being cast by the lantern in the hallway, but Jack
could make out the smile on Jimmy's lips. She quickly withdrew her head and
stood leaning against the wall in the hallway, listening to the
conversation.
"I promise, Maddy. First thing tomorrow, as soon as you've eaten breakfast
and your mama says it's okay, I'll start teachin' you to ride my horse."
"What's her name?"
"Her name's Manhattan."
Maddy yawned again. "That's a funny name, Uncle Dimmy. Why'd you pick that
name?"
A long pause, and then Jimmy said slowly, "Manhattan is a place in New York
that I've been to. It's a city. A real big city."
"Like London?"
"Well, I never been to London, sugarpie, but your mama told me it was about
as big as London."
"If my mummy said so, then it's true."
"I reckon you're right," chuckled Jimmy.
"Tomorrow I'm going to wake up first thing, and eat my breakfast *so fast*,
and then I'll fetch you, and you'll teach me to ride, right?" Jack didn't
hear a reply, but Jimmy must have nodded, because Maddy went on, "Goody. And
you can teach Mummy to ride, as well. She's never ridden before."
"Your mama's ridden lots, Maddy."
"Really? Well, you'll probably need to teach her again."
"We'll see."
"Whenever grown-ups say 'we'll see', they mean 'no'," Maddy chided him.
"Why can't she come?"
"I didn't say she couldn't come. I said we'll see."
"Oh, all right," she half-yawned, half-sighed. "Sing me that song again,
okay, and then I'll go to sleep."
"Which one? The one about the mulberry bush?"
"No," she mumbled. "The one about the girl who leaves."
Another pause, and then Jimmy cleared his throat and hummed for a moment.
He began to sing in a voice that was low and cracked with reluctant emotion.

"From this valley they say you are going
We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are taking the sunshine
That has brightened our paths for a while.

Come and sit by my side if you love me
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
Just remember the Red River Valley
And the cowboy who loved you so true."

There was silence in the room when Jimmy had finished, and a moment later
Jack heard the soft, familiar sounds of her daughter's breathing. All was
still, and Jack bent forward to cover her face with her hands and stop the
tears.
She felt a warm touch at her back. "Come on," murmured Lou. "Follow me."
Gratefully, Jack allowed herself to be led by her friend. They walked
slowly, further down the hall, where Lou opened the door to the spare room
and ushered her inside. They were silent for a long time, as Jack rested on
the bed, unable to stop sobbing. Lou doused a rag in cool water and held it
to Jack's fevered forehead.
"Shh," Lou was soothing. "Shh, Jack. You just calm yourself and you can
tell me all about it when you're ready." She pulled Jack into her arms and
rocked her slowly, and waited for the tears to subside.

CHAPTER 1 ¤ CHAPTER 2 ¤ CHAPTER 3 ¤ CHAPTER 4 ¤ CHAPTER 5 ¤ CHAPTER 6 ¤
CHAPTER 7