IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU

C.C.

Chapter 3

Saturday

Kid left for his ride early in the morning. The boys drove Lou crazy as it got closer to time to leave for the dance. She was ready for them to leave, looking forward to some solitude. She helped them all with their hair and ties and sent them all eagerly on their way. After they were out of site she sighed and leaned against the post of the bunkhouse porch. Alone, it's been a long time since I've been alone, she sighed. Rachel told her to help herself to the house, take a bath, just enjoy her time alone, so she decided to take her up on it.

She was finishing dressing after her luxurious bath (Rachel had left her a bar of Rosewood soap and it smelled so nice) when she heard the pounding hooves of an approaching horse. She peered out the window and noticed Kid's approach. That wasn't a very long run. He slid off of Katy and took her to the barn, she watched as he entered the bunkhouse only to quickly come back out with a towel draped over his should and head to the shower. She allowed herself to watch him step inside, she couldn't see much-she did see him remove his shirt, then she could tell he had bent to free himself of the remainder of his clothing. First she chided herself, "what am I doing, this is indecent", she stated out loud. But she couldn't stop herself from watching him. She knew he'd be finished soon, she was ashamed of herself for watching him bathe, invading his privacy, she knew she'd be livid if any of the boys had treated her like that. Although she had a sneaky suspicion that some of them just may have. She wanted to get to the bunkhouse before he got there, she didn't really know why.

She managed to get to her bunk and act like she was engrossed in her book as Kid entered surprised to see her. "Oh, I didn't think anyone was here" he stated. She looked up at him, "Everybody's else is at the dance" she replied feeling a little uneasy. "You didn't go?" he questioned her. "Nah - don't exactly like standing around watching all those girls dressed in their best, most of the time it don't bother me, but dances.... her voice trailed off. "I understand", he tried to let her know she didn't have to explain.

He straightened his gear from his earlier ride. "Well Lou, I'm sure you were looking forward to being alone, I think I'll just go for a walk." She looked up from her book, "No Kid, you don't have to go. I really wasn't going to do anything special, just read." "Would you like to take a walk?" he asked. "Sure, it's such a beautiful evening, seems a shame to waste a perfectly good sunset." Kid held the door for her and placed his hand in the small of her back as she exited the bunkhouse. Lou almost jumped as she felt what she thought was an electrical shock. It had taken her by surprise and she turned to look at the Kid but he made no indications that he had felt anything, must be my imagination. Little did she know Kid was trying to figure out what he had just felt.

They walked in silence for a little while, then Lou spoke up. "Kid, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "No Lou whatever you like." "Why did you say no to all those girls in town when they asked you to go to the dance", she questioned. "You know one of those girls told me you could take any available girl in town, heck she said even some of the unavailable ones", she laughed. Kid began to blush, Lou thought he looked so cute, he didn't even realize he was so attractive. Damn, wonder why I've never really noticed just how gorgeous he is.

He looked at her and cleared his throat, "Don't really know Lou, just don't see too much sense in wasting time with girls when you know they ain't the one. Those girls are looking for a man to take care of them. They probably don't have any opinions of their own, I can't imagine spending time with someone who'd agree with everything I said or did. I know I'll know it when I meet the right girl for me. IT'S YOU LOU- HE WANTED TO SCREAM AT HER - DAMN IT'S YOU AND I CAN'T HAVE YOU. I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN IT WAS YOU! He looked away from her - afraid she'd be able to read his thoughts. "I guess my ideas about a relationship and marriage are a little different. I don't think it's a women's job to be the sweet submissive wife, doing everything for her man. I think a relationship should be two people, madly in love, both working toward a common goal. That they should share everything. None of those girls in town are like that, they'd like to depend on a man for everything. I like a strong independent women". Like you Lou.

Lou had been amazed at his answer. It sound too good to be true, he must be lying, men didn't feel that way, they all wanted only one thing, a wife to take care of all their needs and she would never be that kind of women, she had decided she'd probably never marry because of her independence. And here he is telling her everything she feels about marriage, what's he doing, reading my mind.

"I like a strong independent women" she heard. Damn, that's me he's talking about, why have I not seen it before? Look at those beautiful eyes, he can see clear through to my heart and he's screaming at me. That electrical shock I felt before, that was real, that was him, Oh my God, it's him, it's always been him. How could I have been so blind!

"Lou", Kid was trying to get her attention, "Lou" he restated reaching his hand to her shoulder to gently nudge her. She jumped at his touch, another electrical impulse shooting through her body. He quickly withdrew his hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Finally coming out of her trance she peered deep into his eyes. Oh kiss me Kid, I've never wanted anything more, please Kid read my mind. Kid's eyes left hers briefly to focus on her lips, which she unconsciously licked. They traveled back up to her eyes, her stomach lurching. If he doesn't kiss me I might get sick. She noticed his hesitancy and remembering how different he really was knew he would never kiss her without permission, and she didn't think he'd have the guts to ask. She gathered her courage, "It's okay Kid, she fumbled with the words "You can kiss me if you'd like." He paused, she was afraid she had misinterpreted the situation. She had surprised him with her assertiveness but he knew he didn't want to let this opportunity pass, he had waited for this for so long. I'll decide what to do about Jimmy later, right now all I care about is kissing her.

He leaned into her and let his lips brush hers ever so gently, there was a feeling as their lips met that he knew had changed his world. When she didn't pull back but moved in closer and parted her lips he took her up on the invitation and deepened the kiss. His arms wrapped tightly around her, her hands wandering aimlessly through his beautiful sandy curls. At that moment time ceased to exist, both felt like their insides were turning inside out, nothing in the world existed, nothing but them-standing here in each others arms passionately kissing. Lou could feel the Kid's wildly beating heart against here own wildly beating heart. She thought for a moment her knees would buckle and she would faint, but feeling his tight embrace realized even if they did give way he'd be there to catch her.

He started to break away from the kiss, Lou found herself not wanting to let him go, in fact she thought how much she wanted him to touch her - everywhere! What am I thinking, it's only a kiss, get yourself together Lou. As he lifted his head his eyes penetrated clear to the deepest part of her soul. She tingled from head to toe. He rested his forehead gently against hers. "It's always been you, Lou" he almost whispered. Then realizing he had forgotten all about Jimmy he released her quickly, almost like she had burnt his hands. "Oh my God, what am I doing?" he questioned himself out loud. "What do you mean Kid?" hurt by his sudden turn of emotion. "I promised myself that I would not let my feelings for you be known, Jimmy's my best friend. I should never, I'm sorry." He turned to walk away from her, to try and find a way to recover from this. She caught his chin in her small hands and forced him to look into her eyes. "There ain't nothin' goin' on with Jimmy and me, Kid - we tried but there never really was anything between us. Yeah we kissed a few times, but Kid, she hesitated, I've never felt anything like I just felt when you kissed me, she gazed at him. He returned her gaze, "Really Lou, you and Jimmy, you ain't, I mean you stopped seeing each other?" "Yeah Kid, a couple weeks ago we talked about it, both of us knew. He wanted more that I wanted to give. He was ready to try and move what little relationship we had to a more intimate level - I wasn't. We fought over it all the time. We mutually decided to just be friends. You've been gone so much I guess you just couldn't tell. Didn't you think it strange that he had a date for the dance?" "Not really - I just thought it was part of keeping your masquerade." She giggled at him. "Kid" she looked into his beautiful eyes once again, sending a brand new set of shivers down his already tingling spine, "Kiss me again, will ya?" She smiled a beautiful smile at him and he swore he could see lights in her eyes. Once again he lowered his head and kissed her pulling her back into his tight embrace - and again the world ceased to exist, except for them.

Neither knew how much time had passed, but it had begun to get very dark. Lou realized she had missed the sunset she had planned to see, she smiled to herself, what a way to miss it! They were so wrapped up in each other, between kissing and giggling they did manage to talk a little. Kid told her that he knew he loved her from the very beginning, but when Jimmy showed interest he felt he should back off. It was hard but he thought it was the right thing to do. When she had started spending more and more time with Jimmy he was sure his chances were gone. So he decided to stay away from the station as much as possible, especially when Lou and Jimmy were together at the station. He'd offer to take extra rides and do extra chores, anything to keep his mind off of them. In fact, just yesterday he had spoken with Teaspoon about changing home stations. Teaspoon had managed to talk him out of it, but up until right now he had decided he was going to go through with it. It really drove him crazy seeing Jimmy and Lou together.

Lou had listened intently, sitting between his thighs resting her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her. He was sitting, leaning against his thinking tree, he knew this would never be "his" tree again, it would become "their" tree. She sighed deeply- "I don't understand why I never realized Kid. But just a little while ago, when you were telling me why you told all those girls no, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I thought to myself ,Oh my god, it's him, it's always been him! How could I have been so blind - you always made me nervous, whenever you walked into the room I immediately became very self-conscious - and I'm not usually self-conscious. When you touched me - like when we left the bunkhouse earlier I'd feel electrical shocks. I never let myself think about it I guess because Jimmy showed interest in me. I guess I figured I was supposed to be with him. I wasn't exactly in a position to court, ya know? Being with Jimmy was easy - until he wanted to go too far. But Kid, now that I look back, ever since I've known you, from the very beginning what you thought about me mattered most of all. I was always worried about you when you were on runs, more that the rest. The other day in town, when all those girls were tripping over themselves to get you to take them to the dance I realized just how different you really were. The rest of the boys would have jumped eagerly into the arms of anyone of the girls, but you, you know how special a relationship should be and you aren't willing to let pettiness ruin what might happen in the future. You are a very special man, Kid. I'm just sorry that I had blinders on for so long. We've wasted some valuable time, I'm afraid. She turned here head so she could look up into his eyes, they were moist with unshed tears, his face tender with emotion. Kid... I think...no Kid..I...know....I..love you." She touched his lips with hers and both felt what was now becoming a familiar feeling, the tingling in their spines clear to their fingertips and toes.

They decided they should make their way back to the bunkhouse. Kid told Lou he was a little uncomfortable about Jimmy finding out about them right now. She had agreed that for now they would keep this change in their relationship a secret from the boys. It not only would help Kid deal with Jimmy's feelings but Lou didn't exactly want to hear Cody's wise cracks, or any of the others for that matter. They agreed it would be tough but they would make time for each other.

"Kid" she grabbed his arm as they approached the station, which was fully lit and they could tell all of the others had returned by now. "Yeah Lou" he turned to her to give her his full attention. "You know you ain't aloud to go into town anymore unless I go with you" she teased. "I can't have all the girls fallen all over you without me there to remind you whose you are" she grinned at him. He liked the sound of her calling him hers. He glanced toward the bunkhouse and noted that no one was around-he planted a sweet kiss on her lips and whispered "I don't think I'm gonna need remindin, its what I've always wanted, sides none of those girls holds a candle to you - you're beautiful." She lowered her head at his compliment and blushed.

"Come on Lou, let's get inside, looks like we've got some explaining to do. What do we say we were doing? "I don't know, can't we say we were making out", she tried to look serious. His eyes wide he spun around to see her face, she didn't do a good job at trying to look serious. He noticed that she was kidding and shook his head and snickered. "Come on Lou, what are we gonna say?" Let's just say we were walking, they'll be persistent and want to know more. Just don't look at me, they'll know for sure if we look at each other." They entered the bunkhouse apprehensively.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12