IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU

C.C.

Chapter 1

"Oh please Jimmy, not this again." Lou shook her head. Not really wanting to continue the argument she knew was imminent. "Lou, you can't keep pushing me away you know." "Jimmy, I just ain't ready yet- can't you understand?" Jimmy sighed, realizing the end result of this would be the same as always. He stepped out of the bunkhouse and headed toward the barn. Lou sat at the table, her head in her hands. This is too complicated, I will not let him talk me into somethin' I'm not ready for - I'm not sure I love him like that, I don't want to give myself to someone unless it's perfect. I wish he'd understand and give me time.

Jimmy sat on a bale of hay wondering what her problem was, he just didn't understand. We've been together for a while now, why would she not be ready to move on with their relationship? It wasn't that big a deal. Kid came in from his ride and was tending to Katy. "Hey Jimmy, how ya doin'?" Jimmy just grunted, Kid could tell by his demeanor that it was about Lou and he just didn't have the strength after his run to listen to Jimmy's problem and try and act like he cared that they were fighting. He personally enjoyed it when they fought, hoping it would be their last. He decided to get out of the barn before being drawn into the middle of it.

He entered the bunkhouse and found Lou sitting on her bunk reading, otherwise the bunkhouse was empty. "Hey," he glanced at her, she looked up at him (Damn she's beautiful).

"Hey yourself, did you have good ride?"

"Yeah it was fine, but I'm dead tired, think I'll try to get some sleep before Cody comes in with his big mouth."

Lou giggled (he loved her giggle) Feeling a little self-conscious he untucked his shirt and kicked his boots off - "Excuse me" he said as he stood on the bunk she was sitting in to heave himself up into his own bunk, which oddly enough (he thought) was above her bunk. "You can turn down the light if you like Kid, I can go over to Rachel's and read." "No Lou it's fine I'll be asleep in no time.... his voice trailing off as he spoke. He liked the feeling of her being in the room.

Lou continued to read but she wasn't paying too much attention to the book. She was gonna have to find a way to stop seeing Jimmy like they had been. No matter how she tried, she really didn't love him romantically, she loved him, just like she loved all of them. How could she get him to understand, she wished she had never let it start, she was afraid to risk losing his friendship. If she could figure a way out of this she'd forget about romance for a while. She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew it was morning and Jimmy was shaking her "Lou, wake up Lou. I want to talk to you."

She groaned and rolled over, "Oh Jimmy, please not this morning - she didn't want to argue. "Come on Lou" he tugged on her arm until she got up. She stumbled out of the bunkhouse behind Jimmy. The others were still sleeping.

When they reached the barn, Lou could tell Jimmy was nervous. She didn't say anything, giving him time.

"Lou" he began hesitantly "you know we've not been too good at this boyfriend girlfriend thing", he finally found his words. "It's all so complicated, but I don't want to hurt you or hurt our chances of staying friends." He wouldn't make eye contact with her. Lou understood that he was doing exactly what she had been wrestling with, she felt the weight of her burden being lifted. She and Jimmy came to an understanding, both feeling the relief from the tension that had grown between them over the past few weeks. Lou hugged him and told him they'd always be friends. They left the barn, Kid and Noah were sitting on the porch of the bunkhouse talking about the day's chores, Kid glanced up to see the pair emerging from the barn. They both looked so happy he thought. They greeted him and Kid decided he'd start trying to spend as little time around the station as possible, he'd take extra rides, do extra chores, anything was better than watching them. He didn't like feeling this way.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12