Ghost
Smiles Ghost
Smiles by Courtnee © 2001
She stepped down from the stagecoach, her skirt pooled around her booted feet,
a shimmering lake of silver. She'd made it, all doubts aside, and she was facing
her past on her own two feet. She'd traveled a long dark road to get here, emotionally
as well as physically.
With a deep sigh, she pushed back her shoulders and smoothed her rumpled dress,
then stepped to the back of the carriage to retrieve her bag. The small town
had not changed much over the last years. Except for the new train station and
the changes time always demanded, all was as she remembered.
She strolled along the boardwalk, nodding greetings to those she passed, even
though she recognized none. Her destination was at the edge of town, where a
few old buildings, dilapidated from years of neglect, stood in a familiar cluster.
She had walked this trail many times. A few of the memories brought ghost smiles
to her lips, but none could erase the pain from her eyes.
It seemed like only yesterday the world had been young, and energetic, thrilling
in its surprise twists and turns. That was before the war had ravaged the land,
tearing apart families with its destructive forces. A frown creased her brow
as her mind took her down that well-traveled road. No, she'd never forgotten
that war, it had brought so many changes to her life. So much loss and heartache,
but she would not cry again. She had shed too many tears over the years, too
many.
As she stepped into the yard of the old waystation, a gentle breeze picked up,
swirling autumn leaves about her in dancing patterns of circles. Though she
wasn't cold, she absently rubbed her arms, willing away the ghosts from her
past that seemed to have been awakened by her visit.
It was only fate that she returned, and time would not wait on her. She had
put it off for so long, too long, but now she was here… she was home. Except
it no longer felt like home. Every emotion had longed for it, cried out for
the family that was supposed to be here, waiting for her.
That was the way she had imagined it and longed for it. A long strand of silver
hair fell loose from its clasp and blew lazily in the wind, tickling her cheek.
She ignored it, lost in her thoughts.
After the war, and Kid's death, Louise had remained at the station with Teaspoon
and Rachel. But it hadn't been the same. With Kid, a part of her had died. Life
was never again quite the same.
Many years later, she did marry again and she had two beautiful children. Her
husband died ten years ago, and her children had lives of their own. Now she
was here, the place where she and Kid had been at their happiest. She wanted
one more taste of the emotions, that had for so long, eluded her.
Louise did not hear the horse and rider approach her.
"Ma'am?"
Slowly, irritably, she turned to him, "Yes?"
The young man tipped his hat, "Are you lost?"
Louise turned back to gaze at her beloved surroundings, "Not anymore, son."
It was clear the young stranger held no desire to abandon the older lady, quietly
he sat a top his horse, chewing on the right words to say.
Several long minutes passed before Louise turned back to the boy, her eyes bright
with an idea. It had been many years since she'd been on a horse; her old body
rejected the task. The desire still remained, and the longing to connect with
her past won out. "Son, would ya mind if I borrowed yer horse a bit?"
The boy hesitated, afraid that the lady had lost her mind. She seemed to be
out of place here, he had definitely never seen her before. "Ma'am I don't
reckon that'd be a real good idea."
Louise lifted her arms up and clasped them over her chest, a look of defiance
in her steely gaze. She had never been one to back down from a challenge. "What'ya
mean? Look, son, I may seem like an old lady to you, but I know my business
when it comes to horses."
With a shrug of his shoulders, he jumped down and shyly offered the reins to
her. He had been raised to respect his elders, and this situation was no different.
Louise relaxed and lithely accepted them. Determined, she threw the reins over
the horse's neck and placed her foot in the stirrup. After several fruitless
attempts, filled with lots of grunting and straining, she finally swung onto
the mare.
Immediately she felt a sense of belonging. Here she could handle anything, even
death. This small action released a floodgate of memories. Bitter-sweet memories
of times past, times when she was a Pony Express rider and had the thrilling
excitement of a new love; a man that had consumed her, heart and soul.
For several minutes she didn't move. She just sat there awash in thoughts that
she had pushed aside for years. The young man faded from her mind, along with
the rundown appearance of the station. She was back in 1861 and young again.
Gently she squeezed her knees guiding the horse toward the bunkhouse with stiff
fingers. She positioned her in the familiar stance, envisioning Rachel's booming
call of 'Rider Coming'. She leaned over the neck of the mare, heart pounding
and mind clear.
The sound of horse hooves slamming the dry ground rang in her ears. The autumn
leaves picked up momentum spiraling through the air, whipping her face.
"Ride safe, Lou!" She heard Teaspoon holler from the porch.
A second later the ghost rider rode into the yard. She kicked her mount along
beside his and smoothly accepted the mochilla. The wind blew her hair free,
silver streaks blazed out behind her. She was free, at last.
She flew into the prairie, letting her horse gallop headlong into the wide open.
Each jarring stride sent new pains up her legs and back, which she ignored.
In the distance she saw a black speck of horse and rider. She did not fear the
unknown rider, for she knew who it was.
As she drew closer, the brown and white horse lifted her head. The rider smiled
his welcome and held out a hand. Louise pulled her horse up inches from him.
She couldn't say a word; nothing would be adequate to express all she had held
silent over the years.
"Louise, I been waiting for ya."
The pain of Kid's death came back in a rushing storm of heartache, she clutched
her chest, it was almost too much to handle.
"Louise, don't think about it, that was a long time ago. And I missed you.
But now you're home. We'll never be apart again." Kid beckoned for her
to come to him.
Louise trembled slightly, she believed him. It was difficult to let go, but
in the end she had only one choice. Her brown eyes caressed his blue ones lovingly
as Kid pulled her into his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder; her short
brown hair tickled his cheek.
"Kid, I missed you."
She smiled as Kid turned his horse and nudged Katy into a lope. At last, the
ghosts were at peace.
