IN
THE FAMILY WAYIN
THE FAMILY WAY
"What?"
Lou held her finger up to her mouth to keep Cody from getting too loud, checked the door just to be sure no one heard him then turned back to Buck.
Cody couldn't be quieted. "Well, I'll be damned. I thought you felt different. I should have seen it - you're huge!"
"Thanks for the compliment, Cody."
Buck had one thought on his mind about her appearance and had to get to the bottom of it. "Is Wicks responsible for this, Lou? Did he do this to you?" He hadn't meant to be so forward but if it was Wicks, Buck knew he couldn't be responsible for what happened to him. He was sure Cody would feel the same way, as would Jimmy, Noah, Kid ... Kid - Buck didn't even want to think about what Kid would do to Wicks once he found out.
Lou's eyes got huge and she stepped away, suddenly feeling like she couldn't catch her breath. She folded her arms across her chest in a protective manner. "How do you know about him?" She couldn't help but sound like a frightened, ashamed child.
Buck knew he'd done everything wrong. "Lou, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say things the way I did. We saw Lightning so we made Eli tell us what's been going on with you. Don't be mad at him, he cares about you and figured we might be the only ones who could help get you out of here." He looked to Cody for help when Lou refused to look at him.
"Lou, none of this is your fault; you got no reason to be ashamed. You don't have to worry about us feelin' any different about you. You're still the same old Lou to us - only bigger," Cody teased, grinning at her over her shoulder.
Lou couldn't help but grin at his comment. Leave it to Cody to break the tension. She took a deep breath then turned to face them once more, knowing, as hard as it would be, that the only way they could help was if they knew the whole truth. "Everything that's been going on has to do with him ... except this." She touched her stomach.
Buck stared at her. "What do you mean, Lou?"
"I didn't know I was with child when I came to St. Joe. If I'd only known, I never would have came and none of this would have happened." Lou's emotions got the best of her so she sat down on a bale of hay and wiped at her tear filled eyes.
Buck started to move to her to comfort her but stopped when her words sunk in. "Oh, my gosh, it's Kid's, isn't it?"
Cody stared at him then Lou. "Kid's?!"
Lou looked up and confessed, "Yeah, I'm carrying Kid's child."
"How did this happen?"
"How do you think it happened, Cody?!" Lou looked at him like he'd lost his mind to actually ask such a question.
Cody got a little embarrassed when he realized what he had just asked her. "Of course I know how it happened and believe it or not, I don't want details. Not yet, anyway. What I meant to say was, are you sure it's his?" He hated to ask but he knew Buck was having the same thought.
"I'm almost seven months along. If it was Wicks', the most I could be is four months - of course, that's what he thinks I am." Lou hated talking about this because it kept bringing up the fact that Wicks had had his way with her.
"Why does he think that?" Buck asked, hating this conversation more and more.
"Because I had to tell him it was his," Lou said and looked at them. She broke their hearts when they saw the sadness in her eyes. "If he knew I was carrying another man's child, he would have caused me to have a miscarriage. I figured I'd never see the Kid again and the only thing that's kept me going each day is knowing that I'd always have a part of him with me, a part of him that no one could ever take away." She looked down at what she was talking about then back up at Buck and smiled. "I can't wait to see this baby," she admitted.
Buck crouched down in front of her. "Lou, why is Wicks doing this to you? How do you know him?"
"I worked for him when I was thirteen, right after I left the orphanage."
"You mean you were a ... a ..." Cody couldn't say that word and Lou's name in the same sentence - it just didn't fit.
Lou flashed her dark, angry eyes at him. "Don't you even think such a thing about me, William F. Cody! I could never be that type of person, even though Wicks sure made me feel like I was." She almost whispered the last part because she felt that way every time he touched her.
Buck touched her arm, causing her to look at him. "Don't even think that way, Lou. Like Cody said, none of this is your fault. He took and you didn't give - that makes him responsible and he's gonna pay but you gotta tell us everything."
Lou nodded then walked away from them as she prepared to tell about the nightmare that led to her becoming 'Lou'. "Wicks gave me a job as a laundress at the brothel he owns. It took me a while to realize that's what it was." She slightly laughed at the thought of how innocent she was. "I didn't really see much of him the whole year I worked there. The only one who did talk to me was his head girl, Charlotte Rowan; she kinda took it upon herself to take care of me but it didn't make a difference. What I didn't know was that Wicks had bigger plans for me. It seems that a lot of his girls started out workin' in either the kitchen or the laundry ... until they're promoted. He came into my room one night, locked the door and told me all about his big plans. It seemed he had a list of clients that liked their company young and pretty and that it was time I really started earning my keep, beginning the next night. There was just one catch, no one sees one of his girls until he breaks her in himself." She paused as that horrible night played itself out in her mind.
Buck and Cody each found themselves leaning against stall walls, trying to digest this unexpected information. Cody had never heard anything so sick. "You were a little girl, how could he do such a thing to you?"
Lou had never heard him sound so serious before. "He said he was making me into a woman," she explained. "Charlotte found me shortly afterward, helped clean me up then said she had to make arrangements to get me out of there. She told me Wicks was passed out, so we had to get out right then. Charlotte bought me a ticket for the stage to St. Louis then gave me some money. She said it was everything she had saved up but I told her I couldn't take it because it was too much - she gave my five hundred dollars! She said I deserved it for what he'd done and made me take it. When I got to St. Louis, I cut off all my hair and became 'Lou'. I was never gonna let another man do that to me again - I figured they were all the same. That is until I got to know Kid and the rest of you. You made me realize that not everyone wants to just take from a woman." She looked at them, thankful that she knew them.
"Lou, how did Wicks get ahold of you this time and why? We know you registered at a hotel on the other end of town, under Rachel's name, and that you never made it to the orphanage." Lou looked questioningly at Buck. "When you didn't make it back to Rock Creek, Kid and Jimmy came looking for you and that's all they could find out," Buck explained.
"That's 'cause I could never bring myself to tell Kid about what Wicks had done to me. If I had, I never would have came here alone," Lou said more to herself than the others. "I don't know how, but one of Wicks' men recognized me at the hotel so Wicks cut me off on the road to the orphanage. The minute I saw him, I knew my life was over, that I'd never see any of you again. He told me I owed him - a lot. Apparently, when he couldn't deliver the goods to the clients he had promised me to, they went elsewhere so he lost a lot of money because of me. I also never realized that once you worked for Ethan Wicks, you never left unless he let you and that usually only happened if you were dead. He actually told me I could've got away with that but there was no way I was not gonna pay him back for the money that was stolen."
"What money?" Cody asked. He didn't remember her mentioning any money.
"That's what I wanted to know. It seems that the same time I left, so did fifteen hundred dollars out of his private room, so he figured I took it. About a month after he got ahold of me again, Charlotte confessed that she took the money and let him think it was me. She wanted him to pay for what he had done to me and that was the only way she could think of. She said if she had given me more than five hundred I would have been suspicious and not taken any of it, even though she felt I deserved much more than that. She told me she's got the rest of it hidden in her room, said she hoped that someday, somehow she'd be able to get the rest of it to me."
Lou paused then continued, "I was so mad at her for letting me take the blame; she knew what he'd do to punish me if he ever got his hands on me again. Then one day I overheard her confess to him that she took it and offer to give it back. He wouldn't even listen to her. After a while, I forgave her 'cause I realized she was just trying to help me and he would have taken me anyway, even if I didn't owe him anything. Besides, she's always been like a big sister to me and I needed her friendship."
"What happened to the money, Lou?" Buck asked as he came to stand next to her.
"I only spent what I needed to. I bought everything I would need to become 'Lou', my gun, Lightning, saddle, some food and the occassional hotel room. The rest I saved - it's in my trunk back at the way station."
At that moment, they heard Eli come back in. He looked their way then went into the tack room.
"I better go before they come in here," Lou said, getting nervous.
"Lou, we gotta get you out of here now!"
"Buck, we can't do this alone. It's easy enough to take care of Hank and Stan, this place is far enough away from Wicks, but he comes by my place about eleven thirty every night to check in with them. If I ain't there, he'll be upon us before you know it. Believe me, I've tried. I think the only one who could help get Wicks out of the way is Charlotte." She told them where to find her then gave each of them a hug.
"We'll take care of it," Cody reassured her, hugging her back. "Still don't like leaving you here."
"I'll be all right." Lou turned to go then stopped. She had to ask what had been in the back of her mind the whole time. "Buck, how's Kid?"
Buck smiled at her, hearing the love in her voice. "He misses you something fierce, Lou. He was always afraid something might have happened to you, we should have listened to him. You'll be seeing him again real soon, I promise. What do you want me to tell him and the others?"
Lou paused only for a second. "Tell them everything; I got no more secrets. And Buck, tell Kid about the baby, tell everyone. I hope he'll understand how much this baby really means to me. Tell him how much I love his child ... and him."
Buck touched her cheek. "You can tell him that yourself when he comes to get you out of here - you know full well he'll be leading the way." He smiled at her.
Lou smiled back, gave each one of them one last look then left with something
she hadn't felt in a long time: hope.
