FOOLISH PRIDE

by Lori © 2001

Chapter 4

Spring was finally in full bloom and the days were warmer, now. In the two months since the Thorne family had arrived, they'd become good friends with the Pony Express workers. The two families got together quite often, much to the delight and enjoyment of everyone. Mr. Thorne had spent some time in Texas with the Army when he was younger, and he and Teaspoon would sit for hours and swap stories. Now the riders had heard Teaspoon's stories again and again, but the Thorne children gave Teaspoon something he was grateful, a new audience. They had never heard their father's stories before and would sit in rapt attention as the two men described the adventures from their 'glory days'. Benjy never fully understood what his father and the grizzled, but kind, marshal were talking about, but as long as the story involved horses then he would sit wide-eyed waiting anxiously for more.
Benjy loved coming to the station. He loved the Indian ponies the riders had, and now thought his father's farm horses were dull and slow compared to the Express horses. Whenever they visited, he always wanted to see the horses. Mrs. Thorne worried at first, but soon saw that a rider was always with Benjy and never let him into the corral. All the boys and Lou were very fond of the four year old boy and happily answered his eager questions. However they were all relieved sometimes when he finally went home. Trying to keep up with him and his constant chatter made them relish the calm after the storm.
Little seven-year-old Kate loved the horses as much as Benjy did. Mrs. Thorne had first kept her inside whenever they visited saying young girls didn't run outside, but her husband soon convinced her that things were different in Sweetwater than in Ohio. Soon Kate was bounding outside alongside Benjy and enjoying every minute of scampering around the station, running through the barn and being the tomboy she truly was. She wanted pants and a shirt like Ben because she hated her skirts tripping her up, but Mrs. Thorne had so far refused. She felt it was bad enough when Lizzie wore such clothes while helping her father. That was one part of Ohio she wasn't quite ready to give up.

The Thorne family was settling in quite well to life in Sweetwater. The crops were planted and they knew a few other neighbors. Mr. Thorne thought his first harvest would be promising as long as the rains continued. Late one night he sat in his room talking with his wife.
"I don't know Richard, I just don't think they're old enough."
"Elanore, Lizzie is almost eighteen, next month in fact. And Becca's sixteen. They're both sensible girls. With Lizzie watching over her sister, they'll be alright. Besides, you saw how excited they were when they heard about the dance."
"I know," she said with a heavy sigh. "They, we all, could use a little merriment in our lives. You've been working so hard."
"No more so than in Ohio. But I wouldn't want to be there without you."
"The others are too young. It's not like the dance at my sister's where they were upstairs asleep."
"I know Elanore," he replied. He knew how disappointed his two oldest would be though if they were forced to come home with the rest of the family. "What if I asked Rachel and Teaspoon to look after them and bring them home? Then they could stay for the dance and we'd know they'd be fine."
"That would make me feel better. If they agree to it, then I won't object."
"I'll ride over tomorrow and ask them. Then Saturday, we'll ride to the Church dinner together, and Lizzie and Becca can stay for the dance." A small smile tugged at his mouth, pleased that he'd won a tiny victory for his daughters who truly did deserve the chance to be with their friends.

"Ahhh," Teaspoon sighed with contentment as he pushed back his plate. "The ladies of the church sure made a fine supper."
"I do agree," said Mr. Thorne, leaning back and smiling.
"Well, Richard," Teaspoon said as they stood, "I promise we'll deliver your girls home safely."
"Thank you, Teaspoon. Caroline and I appreciate it. Molly, why don't you round up your brother? Come along with me Kate," he said swooping the giggling girl up into his arms. "Your ma is waiting for us."
Then turning to Elizabeth and Rebecca he he gave them a smile and a wink and said, "enjoy yourselves girls. You deserve a little fun."
"Goodnight Richard," Teaspoon chuckled, having caught part of the exchange.
"Goodnight Teaspoon, boys," he called out as he moved to intercept Benjy and Molly.
"Well, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Rebecca, shall we?" Teaspoon asked with a lopsided grin and then escorted them into to the dance.

Taking a moment to pause and catch her breath, Elizabeth stood near the side of the dance floor and watched the others as they glided by. She let her eyes search the room and wasn't surprised when she discovered Rebecca standing in a small group of moon-struck young men. She had the more outgoing personality of the two sisters, and the boys had always been drawn to her smile and laugh that came as easy to her as breathing.
Elizabeth inwardly smiled as she realized that Becca wasn't even aware of the stir she was causing among many of the group. She had golden blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes that danced when she laughed, which was quite often. Being nearly two years older, it would have hurt Elizabeth's pride that Becca had more admirers and dance partners. That is if she thought about it, but Rebecca was too relieved to consider those facts.
Rebecca was always the one who was happy to stay inside with their mother, but Elizabeth always felt trapped after too long indoors. She longed to be outside with her father doing things with him. Her father understood this, and secretly gave her ample opportunities to put on pants and a shirt and help him out. She dreaded the day when Benjy would be able to do more things outside and she would be confined back inside. Until her younger siblings were older, she knew she would always be needed at home to help her mother.
"Having fun?" Rachel asked drawing Elizabeth out of herself and back to the party.
"Oh yes. We haven't had this much fun in a long time. It's nice to just catch my breath."
"Yes, I've seen you dancin' with quite a few fellas," she said as Elizabeth blushed slightly and just smiled. "Rebecca sure is enjoying herself."
"Yeah, she always does. No matter where she is or who she's with. That's probably why she always a crowd around her."
"You sound jealous of that."
"Do I?" Elizabeth asked, sounding shocked. "I'm not, really. Actually, you want to know the truth? I'm relieved."
"Relived?" Rachel asked, truly curious.
"Yeah, because then I don't have to be the charming one," Elizabeth answered as her shoulders relaxed. "Becca was always the one who wanted to stay inside, and I wanted to be outside. As I got older I would help my father outside and I loved it. My ma thought it wasn't proper, but since I was the oldest and there were only girls until Benjy came along she grudgingly allowed me. Now I think she wishes I wouldn't do it quite so often."
"Never mind that being proper and indoors is a boring way to live," Rachel replied with a twinkle in her eye. She felt like she was gaining some real insight into understanding the young woman standing beside her.
"Exactly," she responded quickly. "My mother taught us how to cook, sew, keep house and such, but I love being outside. I look for every opportunity to get out. I didn't want to leave Ohio and come here, but now I never want to go back. So Becca can have her admirers, I'd rather have a few close friends and freedom."
"But you have some admirers. I've seen quite a few of the boys here at the dance lookin' at you," Rachel said with a smile, and then was taken aback when Elizabeth suddenly looked very uncomfortable. The laugh and the smile instantly faded, replaced by a look of uncertainty. Uncertainty was a look Rachel could hardly remember seeing on Elizabeth. She was usually in quiet control of whatever situation she was in, often looking more mature than her age.
"They make me too uncomfortable," Elizabeth said with a shake of her head. "I'd rather have one earnest suitor, than a gaggle of admirers."
Rachel gave a small smile that went unnoticed by Elizabeth. She realized another reason Elizabeth was grateful for Rebecca. The focus of the boys was off her. Rachel knew that wouldn't last long, not if the young men around here were an indication. Elizabeth was a beautiful young woman with fawn colored hair and sparkling hazel eyes. The fact that she was quieter than her sister wouldn't keep her from attracting her fair share of attention.
"And why aren't you two lovely ladies dancing?" Teaspoon said with a grin as he joined them and saved them from further conversation.
"Just catching our breath," Rachel replied. Spying Jimmy walking by she called out a greeting.
"Hi," he said in a flat voice. His hunched shoulders and hooded eyes made him look like a convicted man resigned to his fate. Dances were not his favorite activity, but Rachel and Teaspoon always insisted he come.
As the song playing ended and a new one began, Teaspoon caught Rachel's wink and quick nod and asked her to dance. She happily accepted and as he led her onto the floor he looked pointedly at Jimmy.
"Jimmy, ahem," he said clearing his throat and nodding his head towards Elizabeth.
She blushed furiously and looked down at her feet and gave a nervous laugh. Jimmy shook his head and rolled his eyes before looking over at Elizabeth.
"Teaspoon's not very subtle is he?" she asked.
"I'm not sure he knows the meanin' of the word." He paused and awkward silence filled the air around them. "Would you like to dance?"
She shifted nervously on her feet. "You don't have to ask just because of Teaspoon."
"I'm not," he said, even though they both knew it was true. "Not entirely anyways. Would you like to?"
"Alright," she said with a small shrug of her shoulders and followed him out on the floor.
They danced through two songs, mostly in silence because their attempts to speak were forced and awkward. However, they fell into a quiet, natural rhythm while they danced. There were no stepped on toes, or fumbled steps, they simply danced together effortlessly and felt no uneasiness about not speaking. At the conclusion of the songs the dance ended and they found themselves stammering for things to say yet again. Elizabeth felt like she was walking in a fog as Jimmy walked her outside to wait for Teaspoon to bring the wagon. She barely registered his hands on her waist as he then helped her up into the wagon; all she felt was the swirling confusion.
When they reached the end of the street, Elizabeth looked back and Jimmy was still standing on the sidewalk. She didn't understand why she suddenly felt so uncomfortable around him. All the time working on the barn and the house with him she'd felt at ease. Even all the visits to the station hadn't bothered her. Tonight at the dance, she couldn't explain why she suddenly became flustered. When they danced she started out so nervous, but she hadn't felt that way with Buck or Ike. Perhaps she was too warm, or tired. It had been the end of the dance when he'd asked her. Maybe that was why she couldn't breathe when she was near him. Now, in the cool, quiet of the night she was feeling much better. By the time they arrived home, Elizabeth felt better, but she couldn't stop thinking of Jimmy.

Chapter 5

Almost three weeks after the dance things had nearly returned to normal for Elizabeth. The family had visited the station several times and the feeling of not being able to breathe when he was around was finally going away. She was once again relaxed around Jimmy as she was around the other riders. She was in the kitchen one morning ready to start breakfast when she looked up at the sound of her father coming down the stairs.
"Lizzie, come outside with me please," he said with a very tired voice. She set the bowl she was holding on the table and followed him silently to the door.
"I'll start it," Becca told her.
"Becca, please wait," her father said. Becca stopped, stunned by the request, and nodded.
"But I'm hungry," Benjy said plaintively, knowing only that he was hungry and that breakfast wasn't being made.
"Hush!" Becca said as she watched Lizzie close the door.
"Walk with me to the barn," her father said when she was outside. Lizzie quickly caught up and waited for him to speak. "I'm going to hitch the mules to the wagon. I want you to get some clothes for you, your sisters and Ben. I'm sending you to the way station."
"Pa, what's wrong? Is Ma really that sick?" Lizzie said as she stopped in her tracks. Their mother had been sick before, but this was the first time their father had ever sent them away.
"I don't know. The doctor doesn't know what's wrong with her. She has a very high fever and he thinks you kids shouldn't be around here. Now send your sisters and Ben out and get your things."
Lizzie fairly flew back to the house trying to keep from panicking. She sent the others outside and went upstairs, moving quietly so she didn't disturb her mother. She grabbed two carpetbags and began putting clothes in them. She almost made it downstairs when she stopped. Going back up she grabbed Molly's favorite book, Kate's doll that she couldn't sleep without, and the wooden horses that had become Benjy's favorites.
When she went outside, the three youngest were in the back of the wagon sitting in a bunch, looking wide eyed at their surroundings. Rebecca was silently helping their father finish hitching the mules. Normally she chattered away when she was working, but now her expression matched the grim one of their father. He helped Becca into the wagon and handed her the bags from Lizzie. Then he helped Elizabeth up and passed her the reins.
Addressing them all he said, "now all of you mind Teaspoon and Rachel. And stay out of the boys' way so they can do their jobs. Lizzie, look after your sisters and Benjy. I'm depending on you."
"Yes, Pa," they all softly answered.
"Good, now go on," he said and slapped Bunny on her hindquarters. Benjy started to cry as the wagon pulled away without his father, and soon Kate and Molly joined in. Lizzie looked at Becca and both were blinking back tears. They knew they had to be strong for each other and younger three, but inside each girl was terrified.

When they reached the station, breakfast was noisily underway in the bunkhouse. Dishes were clattering and the riders were joking with each other before starting their day. They looked up in surprise when they heard a knock on the door. Buck opened it and saw Elizabeth standing there holding Benjy who was sobbing into her shoulder.
"Beth?!" he cried. "What's wrong?"
Rachel quickly crossed to the door. She saw Rebecca standing behind Elizabeth with Kate and Molly who were also crying. "Good Heavens!" she exclaimed. "Come inside. What's happened?"
Elizabeth sank onto a bench with Ben clinging to her. "Pa sent us here," she answered softly.
"Is there some kind of trouble?" Teaspoon asked her. He looked toward his gun, ready to leave if there was.
"It's Ma. She's really sick. Pa got the doctor last night. He's still there now. They don't know what's wrong with her so they sent us here," she said in halting sentences while choking back the tears. A few fell down her cheeks and she quickly brushed them away.
"Well of course you can stay here," Rachel said. Then taking in the sad faces of the five children she tried to infuse optimism into her voice. "I'm sure your father and the doctor just didn't want you to worry."
"I'm hungry," Benjy said raising his head from Elizabeth's shoulder and seeing all the food on the table.
"We left before breakfast, I'm afraid," she said with a small laugh, almost apologetic.
"Well then, sit down and eat. Boys grab some chairs and make some room. Lou, you better finish up, you've got a run."
They all sat down to eat and when it was over, Rebecca took the other three outside so Elizabeth could talk with Rachel and Teaspoon. She told them more about her mother and what had happened; telling them her father had told her to pack clothes for them and not to come back unless he sent for them. She was afraid they might be staying with them for a while. Teaspoon said they were perfectly welcome to stay as long as needed. He also said he would ride over in the evening to see how her ma was doing.
The riders for their part were very helpful in distracting the younger children. Benjy's favorite person, next to his father, was Buck. Whenever they visited, Benjy was always near Buck. If they happened to be in town at the same time, it was all his family could do to keep Benjy from running across the street or down the sidewalk to throw himself against Buck and wrap his arms around his legs.
A close rival for Benjy's affection was Noah. He liked to look at Noah's whip, though Noah never let him play with it, and he liked Noah's silver saddle. If ever Noah felt Benjy hadn't been spending enough time with him, he'd pretend his feelings were hurt and Benjy would become his new shadow.
Kate's favorite rider was the Kid. She loved his horse Katy, and Kid often let Kate help brush her. Because Lou was with Kid so often, Kate liked Lou as much as Kid. She didn't know Lou was a girl, only Elizabeth and Rebecca knew that fact.
Molly was a quiet and bookish girl who was very intelligent. Her father often said it was a very old soul his little twelve-year-old daughter possessed. Molly much preferred to read and talk quietly with someone. She and Ike had immediately become very good friends, bonding the very first time the family ate dinner at the station. She would read aloud to him while he worked and he taught her sign. She was proving to be a quick learner and reveled in her success.
With the younger three constantly looked after and entertained, Elizabeth and Rebecca could relax some. They tried very hard to keep cheerful faces and be optimistic, but it was hard. Often at night, alone in the bed they shared, they would cry as they worried about their mother. Everyday on his way back from town, Teaspoon would stop to see how their was mother was doing. There was no improvement and now their father appeared to be getting sick. They had been at the station for four days and it didn't look like they would be going home soon.

Chapter 6

On the morning of the fifth day, Elizabeth woke up feeling very excited. She lay beside Rebecca, who was still asleep, and just stretched out in the bed as she smiled broadly. Then she began moving around, trying to wake Becca up. Finally, she poked her in the side.
"Wake up sleepy head," she said with a grin.
"Beth, go back to sleep," Becca grumbled as she turned back over.
"But it's a great day. Come on you ninny, get up."
Becca sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What's so great about today?" she asked as she yawned. "Ma's still sick and now it looks like Pa is too. How can you be happy?"
Elizabeth was instantly quiet. "Nothing," she said suddenly dejected. "I just felt good this morning. Come on, I suppose we should get the others up and help Rachel with breakfast."
They got out of the bed and quietly dressed quietly, each girl for different reasons. Then Becca got Molly and Kat up and started them dressing, while Beth got Benjy up and dressed. During breakfast the riders started the daily routine of talking and laughing with the kids to distract them from being away from their parents. Becca found herself drawn into the conversation as well, only Beth was silent and absentmindedly pushed her food around her plate and followed the conversation with only a passing interest.
Jimmy and Rachel looked at each other and then back to Beth as they saw her still sitting at the table while the three youngest ran out the door with the others. Becca began helping clear the dishes and paused when she saw Rachel's gaze directed on her sister. Beth was holding her head up with one hand, while the other drew lazy circles in her food with her fork. A small frown tugged at her mouth. Becca stepped forward to talk to her, but Rachel quietly told her to go outside and check on the others. She, like Jimmy, knew that Beth would retreat into the motherly role she had with her siblings, if she realized that Becca saw her in her current state.
When the door closed, Jimmy sat down next to Beth. "Beth?"
"Huh?" she said not looking up.
"Beth?" he said again, and laid a hand on her arm. She jumped at his touch and her eyes went wide as she realized that everyone was gone from the bunkhouse. She sprang to her feet and grabbed for her plate.
"I'm so sorry Rachel. Guess I wasn't payin' attention. I'll help you clear the table and clean up," she said as she began gathering dishes from the table.
Rachel stepped forward and took the dishes from her hand. "It's alright, I've got them. Why don't you go on outside?" With her eyes she motioned for Jimmy to go too and he placed his hand on her back to steer her out the door. He was surprised when she didn't put up much resistance. When they stopped on the porch, she let her eyes sweep over the station and saw her brother and sisters engaged in various pursuits and she slowly walked over to a chair and sat down with a small sigh and blankly stared ahead.
Benjy was following Noah around because Buck was on a run. Kate was helping Kid feed the horses, and Molly was watching as Ike repaired his horse's bridle. Becca was laughing at all the appropriate places while Cody told her another story of his amazing adventures. Beth just sat quietly on the porch of the bunkhouse, hardly responding to Jimmy's attempts to make conversation.
After lunch she once again sat on the porch, and watched as the others played games of tag and ran three legged races. Then Cody suggested they play a game of tug of war. Getting a rope they quickly divided up into teams. Jimmy's team needed an extra person so he called out to her, hoping she'd join in and not be as withdrawn. She shook her head no, but didn't say anything.
Lou came over and and talked to her, trying to get her to play, but Beth just kept sadly shaking her head. With an exasperated sigh Beth stood up and everyone smiled, thinking she was finally going to join them. But then she said, "no, I don't want to. Benjy, Kate, you two need to lay down and rest now."
"Aw, come on Beth, just one game," Cody said with a smile, trying to entice her to join.
"No," she said with an edge to her voice. "Benjamin, Kate, come with me now, please."
Ben and Kate followed sadly behind as she walked to the house. The others stood quietly in the yard; surprised at the cold tone she used with them. Rachel stepped off the bunkhouse porch and walked over to the group.
"What's wrong with her, I wonder," she said with worry in her voice. Ever since breakfast, she'd been watching with concern and not knowing what to do for the young woman.
"Who knows? Some people just spoil other's parties," Cody said.
"She was happy this morning when she woke up," Becca said, a bit puzzled. Then her eyes got big and she asked, "what's today?"
"Wednesday," said Jimmy.
"No, no. The date," she said.
"The twelfth," Rachel said.
"That's it," Becca said as the other looked at her puzzled. "Cody, she didn't spoil our party, we almost spoiled hers."
"What?" he asked, his brow wrinkling in confusion.
"It's her birthday today and I almost forgot it."
"But why didn't she say anything?" Lou asked.
"I know I would've," said Cody.
"Not everyone loves to talk about themselves as much as you do," Jimmy answered as he rolled his eyes.
<We should do something,> Ike signed.
"I couldn't agree more," Becca said after Buck translated for her.
Rachel said, "we could make a cake."
"I'll help," Molly volunteered with a shy smile.
"Good, that's a cake," Becca said getting excited at the prospects of doing something for her sister. Then her smile fell as she said, "Molly, the gifts we made for her are at the house."
"But we can't go there," she said, turning sad at the thought of her parents.
"No, but we can go to town," Becca answered back with determination. Then she turned to the others, "our parents ordered something for her at Mr. Tompkins' store. We could pick it up."
"I'll take you," Cody offered, with a twinkling smile.
"Maybe Teaspoon could get your things when he stops by your place tonight," Lou said.
"Do you think he would?" she asked with hope.
"Can't see why not. Just tell him where the things are," Rachel said.
"Great! Then when I get back, I'll make her favorite dinner for her."
"Aren't we forgetting something?" Buck asked. "How are we going to do all this with Beth around?"
"One of could take her riding," Kid suggested. "Lou?"
"No," Jimmy said with a shake of his head, forming a plan. "I'll take her."
"Alright. Are we missing anything?" Becca asked.
"I don't think so," Rachel said.
"Here she comes," Noah said as Beth walked out of the house.
"Rachel, Molly, come to the bunkhouse with me. I should see if I need to get anything in town for the dinner," Becca said with a broad smile, and the three moved off.
"Come with me," Jimmy told the others and quickly led them to the barn to tell them his plan while Beth stood on the porch sadly and watched everyone scatter.

NEXT