Chapter Thirteen

That evening, Red Bear once more came to visit with Buck. “Let us go for a ride,” he suggested. “I wish for you to help me to settle the horse you used on the hunt so the same thing doesn't happen again.”

“Why ask me?” questioned Buck. “I'm the one who almost got himself and the horse killed.”

“You also managed to calm her enough to get you both to safety. She responds to your guidance better than she does mine,” Red Bear explained.

Buck nodded and soon he and Red Bear were riding away from the village to a small meadow where they could work the horse. When the sun started to set, they began the trip back to the village. As they approached, Red Bear once more commented on Buck's success with the hunt. “You did well,” he said, with a smile of approval.

“I'm just glad that nothing had happened while we were gone,” Buck said. “I don't think I could have handled it if our return had been the same as the last time we hunted together.”

“That was not your fault,” Red Bear said, the smile leaving his face as his thoughts went back to the hunt that had not only cost him his first wife and mother, but also his brother.

“Maybe not,” Buck said, “but I don’t remember anyone else having to leave because of it.”

“You did not have to leave,” Red Bear said. “You asked permission to try and find Little Bird.”

Buck nodded. “I asked after White Antelope told me that it would be a good idea if I left for a while. She had heard some of the others talking; they were trying to decide how to punish me for bringing this disaster upon us.”

As they neared the river behind the village, Red Bear reached over and pulled Buck’s horse to a stop along side his. “You never told me this,” he said, surprised by this revelation.

“I did not wish to worry you more,” Buck replied as he looked at the ground. “You had just lost your new wife and mother. I did not think that making you worry about my safety would be helpful. Besides, it was a good excuse to leave. I’d always known that I needed to spend some time in the white world to really know myself; Mother had told me so.”

Red Bear nodded solemnly. “She often told me that I would have to let you go when the day came. I just hadn’t realized that it would take so long for you to come back to us, or that you wouldn’t be happy when you did return.”

Buck looked at Red Bear for the first time since this conversation had begun. “I am not unhappy,” he said.

“Maybe not,” Red Bear replied, “but you are also not happy. You worry too much about things that have not happened yet; things that may never happen.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked as he started his horse forward once more.

Red Bear moved along side him. “You have yourself convinced that if something bad happens, the others will blame you. You do not wish to have children because they will be ill-treated. You did not wish to get married because you did not ‘love’ the woman I chose. Look at me and tell me that you do not care for her now. Tell me I was wrong in my choice and about how you would grow to care for her after the ceremony.” He pulled Buck’s horse to a stop. “I am waiting,” he said when Buck made no response.

Buck continued to stare at the ground. He was trying to figure out how to explain to Red Bear that while what he was saying was true it still didn’t change things. He knew that he’d never be able to make Red Bear understand because Red Bear still refused to acknowledge that the others had ever treated Buck unfairly. Buck sighed. He lifted his gaze so he could look at Red Bear as he spoke. “I know that I am causing you pain, but I…”

He stopped speaking when a scream followed by gunshots split the air. Red Bear and Buck both urged their horses into a run and headed toward the sound.