Forever
Family Forever
Family Author's Note: This story is a continuation of In the Family Way. A big thanks to Sameena for all her wonderful help.
Jackson Louis walked into the saloon and paused just inside the doorway. It had been years since he had made his presence in such an establishment and he wouldn't be there tonight if it wasn't for the memory that had been eating away at him all day. He hadn't come there to drink, no, he'd never do that again, not for the rest of his life. Drinking was what had brought him down as low as a man could go, drinking was what had driven him from what he wanted so bad to get back but knew he couldn't. He had come there to be among people; the workers at his ranch had all headed into town right after dinner and he didn't want to sit in that big empty house with nothing but himself and his memories.
He sat at an empty stool at the bar and was immediately approached by the bartender. "Hey, Mr. Louis, never seen you in here before. What can I get you?" the bartender asked. "Beer, whiskey?"
Jackson shook his head and answered, "How about just a coffee? I don't drink." Not anymore, he said to himself.
He looked around the saloon as his coffee was being poured. They always looked the same, he noted. He spotted several of his employees at the card tables and in the company of the female employees. He watched the eager young men thoroughly enjoying themselves, knowing they had not a care in the world except getting up in the morning to start work.
More than half his ranch hands were young, probably only seventeen to twenty years old. As he sat and watched them, he wondered about another young man. And that was the reason he was at the saloon. He had wanted to find him so bad, tell him he still had family but he knew he had no right, not after the way he had treated him. When he'd gotten his life back together after he gave up drinking, he'd gone back to Virginia but it had been too late. He had found out that the boy's mother was dead, his brother had disappeared years before her death, and that he had headed west five years ago. If he could only find him again, try to make him understand why he had done the things he did. But it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
"Mr. Louis! We never thought we'd see you in here," a young voice called out.
Jackson was brought back to the present and turned in his seat to face three such young men. He had to smile at their love of life. He had felt that way a long time ago but it was getting harder to bring those memories into existence. "I seem to be surprising a lot of people tonight," he told them. "As a matter of fact I'm here to celebrate a birthday, Ted."
Ted looked at his companions and said, "Gee, we're sorry, Mr. Louis, we didn't know it was your birthday, no one told us." He looked apologetic that they hadn't acknowledged the birthday of their boss. The other two boys took on the same look.
Jackson held up his hand and explained, "You can relax, it's not my birthday." He looked away and softly said, "Today is the day my youngest son was born. He's twenty years old now ... if he's still alive, that is."
"We never knew you had any kids, Mr. Louis," Ted said.
"That's because I don't talk about it," Jackson told him. "Not an easy subject when you were the cause of a lot of pain. Take a little advice from a man who knows, boys. Don't throw all your money away and if you think you can't stop drinking, then don't start." He put a coin on the bar to pay for his coffee, picked up his hat then said, "Well, good night, boys. Don't stay out all night, you have to fix that fence in the south pasture tomorrow."
"We won't and good night," Ted told him. The other boys echoed their replies.
Jackson stepped onto the sidewalk and looked up into the starlit sky. It reminded him of twenty years ago when he'd stood on the porch of his home in Virginia, looking up into a similar sky. Only that night he had been in too much fear to even notice the stars. Katherine Jean, his wife of seven years and the most important person in his life, was inside their small house trying to give birth to his second child. She'd had it difficult right from the start and was even put on bed rest the last two months. The doctor had been concerned that she and possibly the baby might not make it. Having given him a son six years earlier had left her weak and she shouldn't be having this child but she had insisted she wanted to be blessed with one more miracle to make her life complete. Now she might have to pay for her wish with her life.
Jackson closed his eyes to rid himself of the memories but they continued against his protest. It had seemed like forever until he finally heard the cry from his second child. He remembered rushing into the house and finding his wife holding a small bundle in her arms. She had seemed weak but gave him a big smile as she presented him with another son. He had cried in happiness, both for the child and more importantly because Katherine Jean was going to be alright. She insisted they name this baby after him since he meant the world to her and because she felt so blessed to be holding her new son in her arms. He had told her no to using his name six years ago when Jed was born; he'd told her a boy needed his own name so nothing would be hanging over his head if his namesake couldn't measure up to what was expected of him. She'd given in reluctantly but wouldn't this time. She wanted everyone to know that this was his son so he finally agreed and Jackson Charles Louis gave his name to his son.
Jackson sighed, thinking of how much it must have hurt his son to have the burden of carrying that name with him for the rest of his life. Maybe he had changed it long ago, he thought. Either way, the boy was still his son and nothing would change that, except the fact that he didn't deserve to have him for a son.
As he walked to his horse, resolved to never think on it again, he looked up into the sky once more and whispered, "Happy Birthday, Kid."