Fairy-born and Human-bred

by Katta © 2001

Standard disclaimer

Websites notes: This story brings up the subject of slashing/hurting yourself. The web mistress do not encourage nor support this behaviour, however, with reference to the author's creative freedom this story is posted.

Part 2

Sandy and Ike were sitting in what was to be the living room of their not-so-finished home, going through the wedding list. He looked surprised at the number of names she had written down, and she blushed.

”If there are too many...”

*Not at all,* he assured her. *It’s just... I never saw you as one for huge crowds.*

She shrugged. ”Well, they won’t come anyway.”

*Who?* That comment made him frown. If she wanted to invite a whole bunch of people, she deserved to have that bunch actually show up, too. His eyes fell on one of the first names, and he uncertainly signed: *Your father?* From what he knew, Sandy and her siblings didn’t keep much in touch with their father.

”Oh, *he’ll* come. If I have to have the baptizing before the wedding, I’ll make sure he comes.” She smiled. ”He does care about us, you know. Just because we don’t meet all that often doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. No, I was talking about the newsteam.” She sighed a little, and some of the sparks in her eyes faded. ”One or two more might be able to show up, but they have work to do, they can’t just abandon the paper for me. No matter how much I’d like them to.”

The riders hadn’t quite gotten into the habit of knocking when they entered a building that was, after all, not only half-finished but in their own back yard. That was why Buck walked in on them and heard that last comment.

”Well, why don’t you send Lena back and bring someone else?” he asked sourly.

Sandy’s eyes darkened dangerously in a way they really hadn’t done since she got engaged. ”Say what?” she asked in a tone that made Ike flinch. After all that opening up she had done, he didn’t want it all ruined.

Buck tightened his jaw, but couldn’t stop himself from speaking. ”Why did you make her your bridesmaid? Correction, you didn’t even make her one, she just waltzed in assuming she could be one!”

”And she could.” Sandy’s voice was cold as ice. ”Now, you don’t have to like that, but I suggest you learn to deal with it.”

”That woman,” Buck said, ”is nothing but a cold-hearted, manipulating little slut!”

Sandy’s hand had hit him before he even saw it move.

”You don’t have to like my friends.” She was so very distant now, her eyes and voice seemed separate from her body. ”But if you can’t behave politely, I don’t want you at my wedding.”

”What!?” Buck couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ”You can’t kick me out of the wedding!”

”You bet I can. I’d prefer it if I don’t have to, but the choice is yours.”

Buck’s eyes wandered to Ike, looking for support, but he wasn’t getting any. His friend simply shook his head, a painfully sad look in those ocean clear eyes.

*She’s right.*

”You’re kicking me out too?” Buck’s voice was down to a whisper.

*I want you there. You know I do. But not at the price of a fight.*

Buck’s face lost colour and he stared at Ike, trying to make sense of this. Then he simply turned and left, like a wounded animal. He didn’t stop until he was by the stable, where he sat down on the ground, leaning his head in his hands. A weak sob shook his body. Of course he could behave politely if that was necessary, after all these years of scorn he had learned to swallow his pride when there was nothing else he could do. It wasn’t *that*. But in all these years, it had always been him and Ike against the world. They had been safe in knowing that no one else could ever threaten that bond. This was the first time since they had met that Ike had sided against him. Sided with his future wife. It was the way it should be, but it hurt. In spite of Sandy’s apparent love for Ike, and in spite of the baby that was coming, Buck had never really considered the possibility that the new family would mean so much to him. That it would mean more than Buck.

Lena caught up with Jimmy before he entered the bunkhouse.

”Hello,” she said, in a tone that clearly indicated that if she had a say in the matter, he wouldn’t enter at all. To him, that wasn’t a problem. He found Lena, although in a very not-beautiful way, quite attractive. She also had the advantage that, obnoxious as she may be, she was quite unlikely to get him hung or in other ways severely harmed.

”Hi. Shouldn’t you be working?”

”Shouldn’t I always.” She sighed. ”Mrs Dictator reluctantly allowed me to have Tuesday afternoon off, as planned, even though I had completed every chore in a satisfying way. She doesn’t want me to go here. She has gotten into her head that I will do something immoral.”

”And you won’t?” Jimmy asked, giving her a look that she could interpret any way she liked. He wasn’t too displeased with the way she looked back.

”Oh, anything is immoral to her.” Lena dismissed her employer with a shrug. She was here to visit a friend, work was done to finance that, not to make it impossible. Nobody owned her time but herself. Jimmy felt a bit of sympathy for Mrs. Warren who had to put up with such an impertinent maid, but on the other hand, the meek ones she had before had not put up with her for long.

”I thought I’d check on Sandy and see how the house is coming. You want to join me?”

”Sure.” They walked towards the new house, and Jimmy’s hand found its way to Lena’s waist. Instead of pushing it away, she leaned closer to him. Without throwing herself at him, this was the most obvious invitation he could get. And from what Sandy had hinted at moments, if he was to seduce her right now, right here, she probably wouldn’t object. That was one reason why he didn’t. Although he didn’t see himself as vain, he preferred to know that a girl’s interest in him was truly about *him* and not just a looseness bordering on desperation. So his hand stayed around her waist -- not advancing, but not removed.

When they reached the house they stopped short at the startling sight. Sandy resembled a goddess of fury, pounding on the walls with her fists as Ike fruitlessly tried to calm her.

Lena immediately slid out of Jimmy’s grip, and with a few quick steps she had reached her friends’ side. She tilted her head and looked with an interested smile at the cursing young woman.

”What a language!” she said in an admiring voice. ”But you really shouldn’t tear down the house before you have even finished building it.”

Sandy’s darkened eyes turned to her, and then her lips curved. ”Guess not.”

”What’s the problem, anyway?”

”You,” Sandy sighed, then took it back. ”No, Buck.”

”Make up your mind,” Lena said, sitting down.

”I told him to be polite to you up until the wedding or not bother to come.”

”What?” Jimmy wasn’t pleased with this. Buck was one of his closest friend, and Lena was less than popular among most of the riders, even if it didn’t include him.

The lady in question didn’t seem very grateful either. ”You didn’t have to do that. I’m hardly a pattern of politeness myself, I don’t mind if he’s rude.”

”Well, I do.” Sandy glanced at her future husband, but Ike did not seem inclined to join the conversation. ”And I’d really appreciate it if you tried to be on your best behaviour yourself.”

”Absolutely.” Lena’s reply was quick. ”I would never intentionally do something to hurt you, you know that.”

Sandy stroked her cheek softly. ”The problem is what you do unintentionally. For some reason, Buck doesn’t like you.”

”For some reason, nobody likes me. That’s not news.” Lena sat down on the chair Sandy had earlier abandoned. She glanced at the invitation list but didn’t comment on it.

”That’s not true!” Sandy argued fiercely, and her friend smiled.

”I know. You like me. And Jimmy likes me, don’t you, Jimmy?” She turned to the rider.

”Sure,” he said, uncomfortable with this turn in the conversation, and she laughed at him.

”But he would like me even better if I didn’t ask those kind of questions.” Her eyes focused on Ike, and she got a thoughtful look on her face. ”As for Ike... I honestly don’t know. That’s interesting. Do you like me?”

Her tone was demanding, and Ike shrugged.

”Come on, be honest,” she insisted. When she still got no reply she sighed. ”alright, so you don’t like me, do you?”

He looked at her for a few seconds, and her pale blue eyes did not fold. Finally he shook his head, smiling. *But I don’t mind you either.*

”Ike!” Sandy seemed on the verge of slapping someone.

”Hey, it’s alright,” Lena protested, ”he doesn’t have to like me.” A cocky smile spread over her lips, but it was hard to tell if she was really amused. ”A nice boy who is spoken for rarely has any reason to appreciate my company. What else was it you said?” She was still facing Ike, but the question obviously had to be answered by Sandy, who reluctantly repeated what her fiancé had said.

Lena’s smile softened. ”Well, I’ll settle for that.” She rose and stroked Sandy’s cheek. ”Come on darling, go make peace with Buck. I’d do it myself, but I don’t think he’ll listen to me.”

Sandy took a deep breath. ”The problem,” she said coolly, ”is that he *does* listen to you.”

That was the closest she got to a reproach. Instead of saying anything more, she pushed the guest list across the table to Ike and left the house to go looking for Buck.

Buck’s tears had dried by now, but he was still leaning his head in his hands, trying to think and not really succeeding. He kept telling himself that after all, Sandy liked the little bitch, he should have expected her to side with her. That wasn’t really the problem. Because if it was reasonable for Sandy to stand by Lena, it was also reasonable for Ike to stand by *him* -- and he hadn’t. His thoughts always stopped at that; there was no way to talk around it. He wasn’t a part of the equation.

”Buck.”

No. He should have felt a slight tap on his shoulder to announce Ike’s presence. This voice was all wrong. It wasn’t Sandy he wanted here.

She sat down next to him. ”I’m sorry about what I said. I went much too far. And for what it’s worth, she’s sorry too.”

”Yeah,” he mumbled, waiting to hear what would come.

Nothing did, for a while. Then she said, much softer than anything that had ever come out of her mouth: ”I want a good wedding, Buck. One that doesn’t involve people ripping each others’ heads off. I don’t care if you hate Lena, go ahead, but I don’t want to hear about it. I *need* to not have to hear about it.”

He ran his fingers over the ground, refusing to meet her eyes. ”I’ve tried staying out of trouble most of my life. I can keep doing it.”

”Good.” She stood up, then leaned down and took his chin in her hand so he had to look at her. ”We want you there. Don’t for a second think we don’t. But you started this, you have to end it. Lena is just being her own idiotic self, I can’t kick her out for that.”

”Why not?” he asked. Her eyes darkened and he hurried to add: ”I’m not arguing with you, I just want to know why.”

He needed to hear something positive about that dreadful woman. Sandy was no angel herself, but she was taking a lot of shit for her friend, and it couldn’t be for no reason.

She sighed. ”You’re a sensible, smart, sane person, Buck.”

”Thank you for the poetic compliment,” he said. ”But it’s not an answer.”

”No. How about this then: socializing is luxury. It’s that sort of stuff that matters when you’re all fine. But when you’re not so fine, you need someone who will hold on.” Her face and voice were both agitated, trying to make him understand. ”I’ve had nice, decent friends. You won’t believe how quick some of them leave when things get tough.”

”Sure I would,” he said, and he couldn’t help a trace of bitterness from entering his voice.

She stopped and stared at him for a second.

”I should just shut up and leave, shouldn’t I?”

”Sorry.” He realized what he had sounded like and regretted it.

She shook her head. ”No, I should.”

He wanted to explain that it wasn’t about her, that his hurt just got the better of him, but it wasn’t really necessary. Turning snappish in a bad situation was natural for her, she understood it better than if he had been stoic about it.

”If you want to say something else, if there’s something I’ve missed...” she tried, and it struck him that he could actually like this girl.

”It’s really Ike I want to talk to,” he admitted, then hurried to say: ”But don’t ask him, alright?”

He didn’t know if she understood, but she nodded anyway and left him alone. The problem with the wedding was solved, he supposed, but that didn’t mean everything was fine.

Ike didn’t need to be told. Buck’s eyes focusing on him at supper told him everything he needed to know. Since he had learned to communicate without words he had started to notice how other people did the same. An undetectable signal was passed forward between them, and after they had finished eating, they left together to talk it out.

Ike leaned on the fence and looked expectantly at his friend, not asking any questions. For a moment, Buck didn’t answer any either, just leaned back too and looked at the stars.

”Why couldn’t you be on my side?” he finally said, in a low voice.

Ike looked at him, slightly stunned at the question. He hadn’t really been anticipating it.

*What you asked wasn’t reasonable.*

”That’s not the point.” Buck rose and took a few steps away, not able to stand still. ”If Sandy could be loyal to that woman, why couldn’t you be loyal to me? Why did you have to go side against me?” He turned back to Ike to expect the answer.

It dawned on Ike why his friend was so upset, and he knew that Buck was right, but he was also wrong in a way that was hard to explain. Ike sighed and thought for a minute.

*If Kid and Jimmy where holding each other at gunpoint, who would you ask to put down the gun?*

”What?” Buck was confused, and irritated, at Ike’s way of avoiding the question, but his friend just nodded for him to answer. ”Uhm... Kid.”

*Even if Jimmy started it?*

”I guess so. Jimmy wouldn’t stop as long as Kid didn’t, but he wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, either.”

Ike nodded, satisfied with the answer. *You make demands from the person likely to listen. Lena is flippant and patronizing with everyone. But you’re better than that.*

Buck snorted, but the warmth in Ike’s expression calmed his anger.

”So you’re just mean to me because you respect me, right?”

An amused wrinkle showed up between Ike’s eyebrows, and he nodded solemnly. Their hands met for a brief moment, as a gesture of reconciliation. Then Buck turned to leave, but before he had gone far, Ike tapped him on the shoulder.

”What is it now?” Buck asked, sounding grumpy although he was actually relieved.

*Words don’t always say it all,* Ike replied. He saw in his friend’s face that this was information Buck couldn’t quite understand yet. It didn’t matter. He had passed his knowledge on, and it was up to Buck to think about it.

It was obvious Jimmy hadn’t come to the marshal’s office for a light chat. He did acknowledge Teaspoon’s greeting, but only with a small nod, before getting seated and leaning his chin on his knuckles, face frowning.

This was the perfect opening for a ”what’s troubling you, son?” followed by a good advice and some time in the sweat lodge. The only problem was that Teaspoon knew very well what was troubling Jimmy, and he very much doubted any piece of good advice would prove sufficient. Sweat might, but not the kind of sweat Teaspoon could provide, and certainly not in the long run. Love of a woman he could talk about forever, love of a woman who is wrong for you even more so. But there’s really not much to be said about love of a woman who is wrong for herself. Teaspoon was more than willing to believe a girl like Lena wouldn’t hurt Jimmy. She hadn’t hurt the young couple either, but hurt they were. She was the mental version of a nice good swim during a thunderstorm. At least she didn’t seem completely unaware of that fact, since she had stayed away from the bunkhouse lately and chosen to let Sandy come to her instead of the other way around. It meant they had to deal with Mrs. Warren, who was a bit much to take even on a good day. Teaspoon had seen the dirty looks Sandy got from people, the looks that noticed nothing but her olive skin, her accent and her growing belly. She carried it with her head held high in a way she had most definitely learned from Lena’s experience. He wondered briefly how the girls felt about having the roles reversed, but on the other hand it seemed like the level of bad reputation would be back to normal soon. Mrs. Warren, of course, would trash them both, but Mrs. Warren trashed everyone except possibly the Lord Jesus himself (and he wouldn’t care to bet on that). Apparently undiscriminating prejudice was better than directed loathing. The only problem was where that left Jimmy, which was far away from the girl who had spent the last few weeks, when she wasn’t accidentally aggravating people, with making Jimmy very interested in her.

There were times, of course, when Buck and the Kid, the main adversaries, were both out on a ride at the same time, and the mood lightened enough for the enfant terrible to come around. But those times were far between, and it was true, Teaspoon did very little to increase them. This had been his family for his past years, and he didn’t like the cracks that were beginning to show. But that wasn’t the main reason he didn’t want her around. The main reason was that when you weren’t the target, she was actually quite funny. And he didn’t want to laugh when she commented on Buck’s confusion or Kid’s Galahad complex, because in truth it wasn’t humorous. What she cut apart with her sharp tongue wasn’t some sort of glossy facade, it was their lives, their personalities. It didn’t matter if, to her eyes, they were kidding themselves, their illusions were crucial to their existence.

”So,” Jimmy said with a sigh, breaking the silence, ”What do you think of her?”

He didn’t need to specify. Teaspoon stared out the window, pondering what to reply. ”I think she’s stirring up trouble.”

Jimmy snorted, making a wry face, and Teaspoon nodded towards the window.

”Over at Tompkins’ store.”

Jimmy quickly rose and walked up to Teaspoon, looking over the older man’s shoulder to see what was going on outside. Seeing the girl out there, her head tossed back as she was involved in a heated debate with Tompkins, he lit up and hurried outside.

”...rules that need to be followed,” he heard from the store owner as he approached the store.

”I see.” Lena’s face was hot pink, but not from anger, just the strange excitement she got from outwitting people. ”Do you know who made those rules? Oh hello, Jimmy,” she added when the rider was almost close enough to touch her. Her attention was still focused on Tompkins, waiting for his answer.
”What do you mean, who made them? It’s just common decency...”

”...So you *don’t* know. Neither do I. But I can assure you of one thing, whoever made them isn’t following them. Rules are a weapon made to control the fools, and if you follow them you’re bound to be buggered.”

”The sportsmanlike way of doing things...” Tompkins started, and Lena shook her head in a way just a little too arrogant.
”The bullies always win. The greatest conquerors of the world weren’t exactly gentleman like. If you take the Romans, once they started to get manners...”
That was when Jimmy realized she could go on like this forever if nobody stopped her. History only filled up her stock of argument, and by the look on Tompkins’ face, he already found her insufferable. Jimmy reacted immediately, taking Lena’s chin in his hand and firmly placing his mouth on hers. He felt her lips curve into a smile, and she gave a slight humming sound that was halfway between amusement and delight. He closed his eyes for a moment just to enjoy this, and when he opened them, Tompkins had gone back into the store. Thank God. Taking a deep breath, he let go of her mouth, and she immediately turned her head around, only to see that her opponent was gone.

”Now, what was that all about?” she asked, grinning.

”The truth? Shut you up. Julius Caesar is a bit heavy a subject.”

”Why, I didn’t expect the great gunfighter Wild Bill Hickok even to have heard of Julius Caesar,” she replied. He let that pass, knowing that she was teasing him. If he let a comment like that aggravate him, he would never hear the end of it. She seductively put her arms around his neck, and he was beginning to wonder if this had been a bad move, but decided against it.

And then the stage coach arrived.

”Be careful with that box,” a voice with a slight Spanish lilt told the driver. ”There’s porcelain in it.”

Lena quickly released herself from Jimmy and turned to the emerging passengers with a wide, and strangely genuine, smile. ”Jotas!”

The man who had talked to the driver looked up. His thin frame made him look shorter than he was, but the face was a fine-looking one, framed by dark hair and with deep blue eyes. There was something vaguely familiar about him, and even more so in the smile with which he greeted Lena back.

”Lena! And a man. Why am I not surprised?”

”You know me?” she suggested. Rushing down from the porch she proceeded to kiss both the man and his female company in the Mediterranean fashion. Noticing Jimmy’s awkwardness, she threw out her arm to introduce him, waving for him to come say hello. He obeyed, but chose to simply shake hands instead of kissing these strangers. ”This is Jimmy Hickok, a colleague of Ike’s. Jimmy, this is of course Sandy’s father, Juan Jesús Fernandez, more commonly known as Jotas, and his lovely ladyfriend Lola Marquez. Dolores if you want to be exact, but you don’t. You didn’t bring the girls?”

Jotas’ brow furrowed. ”Were they invited?”

Lola smacked him gently in the chest. She wasn’t the sort of woman known as beautiful, but her light brown face had a pleasant, humorous character. ”They are in Mexico for the time being, and they chose to remain there. After all, they don’t really know Aleja very well.” Her voice was different from Jotas’, more like Sandy’s, and Jimmy realized that he was hearing the difference between the Mexican and the Spanish accents.

”So,” Jotas asked, ”where is my girl?”

”Down at the station.” Lena’s eagerness fell a little. ”I’m sure Jimmy can take you there.”

”You won’t come?”

”I...” Unbelievable. She was actually at a loss for words. And blushing, too. Of course, she had been blushing all along, so it was hard to tell the cause.

”Sure she will,” Jimmy said firmly. Doing what he would have done with any other girl in an awkward position, he put his arm around her waist, and she arched her back away from him, making his arm fall down with a single movement. Her motives might be questionable, but she apparently wouldn’t allow his to be anything other than desire. No protective instinct, no save face procedure, absolutely no pity.

Lena smiled widely at the guests, the strain barely evident on her face. ”Sandy will be so glad you’re finally here. You can definitely count yourself as the guest of honour.”

”I’m glad,” Jotas said, resting his eyes thoughtfully on Lena. ”Now, my dear girl, you have to fill me up on all the latest news. I heard you mother had gotten married again?”

”She has,” Lena said, helping them put the luggage on the carriage to go to the station. ”His name is Tomas. Nice chap, really, it might even last for a while. It would be good for Kajsa to have a man about the house.”

Jotas raised an eyebrow as he sat up. ”And what about you?”

She smiled a little. ”A man? Oh, most definitely. But I’m a little too old for a new stepfather, don’t you think?”

”Could be,” Jotas agreed. This seemed to make his mind stray elsewhere. ”So, how is Aleja these days?”

”Growing bigger every day,” Lena said with a smile. ”She’s calling the baby Joshua -- won’t even listen to the thought that it might be a girl.”

”Joshua?” Jotas said with a frown, apparently trying to understand what would make his daughter choose that name.

”After Father Sullivan,” Lena pointed out. ”Father as father, right?”

Jotas gave her a long look. ”Listen, young lady, it’s really not your place to have objections to Sandy’s upbringing, so I’d appreciate a little less impertinence.”

Lena gave a smile that was almost sweet. ”Yes, sir.”

”Good.” Jotas sat silent for a while, trying to phrase the next question. ”And this Ike boy? What’s he like?”

”Well.” Lena looked at Jimmy, smiling a little with her tongue between her teeth. ”He’s the sort of bloke a cat would refuse to play with for lack of fun... but pretty much perfect for a girl who is serious.”

”Well, she has always been serious,” Jotas said, not very much relieved by the comment. ”But it’s the second time an Anglo has gotten her into trouble.”

”Ike’s not like that,” Jimmy said, and Lena looked at him as if she had forgotten he was there.

”I second that opinion,” she said.

”Well, then there’s no need to worry!” Lola cut in, clearly tired of hearing her man’s objections. ”And if you get your brow unfurrowed you might see that your daughter is here.”

And indeed Sandy was standing there, waving her arms at the carriage, and behind her Ike was coming up. In spite of her skirts, Lola was the first one down, holding her stepdaughter at arm’s length. ”Well, look at you, girl!”

Jotas was a little slower down, and seemed more hesitant in his enthusiasm. ”Yes... look at you.” Then he got himself together and smiled, bringing the big box down from the carriage. ”Can you guess what this is?”

Sandy smiled widely. ”I don’t have to guess. Sunday porcelain, twelve of everything.”

”That’s right,” Jotas agreed.

Ike had put his hands on Sandy’s shoulders, and she put her hands on his. ”Then we can get married.”