hapter 43

Kid waited in vain for Sergeant Grimes to show up. The man's disappearance did nothing to ease his headache and for every minute that passed without the knowledge of what had happened to Buck, the pain seemed to increase. He had even tried to get up once, but had been forced to lie down again as his legs refused to carry him. Dizzy and frustrated he slowly lowered himself down on the bed again, cursing his own weakness and wishing that he had made sure that Buck was all right before agreeing to seeing the doctor. Now all he could do was worry. He hadn't even had a chance to talk to Buck, since he had left before his friend had woken up. He desperately hoped that Buck hadn't got in trouble. He wasn't sure how Buck had reacted to his brother's death and feared that a hastily made comment by a soldier could have set Buck off. And if there was a fight, then there was a good chance that the one hurt would be Buck.
"I shouldn't have left him," he pondered morosely as he stared up at the tent roof, trying to ignore the pounding pain in his head and chest.

Another two hours passed by without any news and even if he knew that he should be rest, the worry kept him awake and rest effectively eluded him, increasing the tenderness from his wounds. He had almost managed to fall asleep when the doctor returned to check on him. Once again he tried to ask the man about Buck's whereabouts and again he didn't receive any answer. The man's unwillingness to tell him about Buck only increased Kid's uneasiness and he was sure that something had happened to Buck. Something wasn't right. And the worst part of it all was that there was nothing he could do.

Slowly the night fell and Kid was still without news. Large raindrops started to fall; creating patterns on the roof of the tent and here and there sipping throw the seams, creating a steady drop. It was getting colder too, and Kid couldn't help shiver as he pulled the worn army blanket tighter around him. The doctor had visited him shortly before suppertime and had warned him that if he didn't rest he would surely get a fever, but Kid couldn't care less. How could he rest when he didn't know what had happened to his friend? He could still remember his own feelings of despair when Jed had been killed and he knew that Buck wouldn't be feeling any better. Self-blame and guilt occupied his mind and made it impossible to sleep despite the doctor's warning words.

As the night wore on, his thoughts returned to the others - the ones left behind. Especially Lou. He hadn't even told her what he had intended to do and he wondered what she was thinking. He knew that she was probably angry with him and maybe even disappointed. Lou. He hadn't thought of her for a long time. He wondered what she was thinking - if she really was angry with him for taking off like that, without even talking to her first. He hoped she wasn't. He hoped that she understood why he had to do this, even if he wasn't completely sure of his reasons himself. No, that wasn't entirely correct - he knew why he had to leave. It had to do with who he was - who his father had been.

All his life had he feared the anger inside him, feared that he harboured the same anger as the man that had fathered him; the anger and rage that had made the man turn to the bottle and later on his wife and two sons. Anger and rage so consuming that it had killed the family and broken it up, killed the love and pride that a young boy had felt once, leaving him disillusioned and scared. He had long ago learned to control his own anger, trying hard never to raise his hands against another in rage. Not even the taunting in school had made him give up his promise never to strike out in anger. And until he had met Lou he had managed to do so. But ever since Lou came into his life, he had found himself more and more in situations in which he was quick to anger and ready to fight. And it scared him. It scared him to know that he could hit a friend in anger, it scared him that he would allow jealousy to rule his actions rather than reason. It scared him that he saw bits and pieces of his father in him for every time he raised his hands in assault. And his worse fear was that his inheritance one day would turn on him and the one on the receiving end of his anger was Lou. He loved Lou, and he knew in his heart that he would never be able to hurt her - but then he wasn't sure he could trust himself.

Too many times had he seen his father on his knees, crying and begging his mother for forgiveness after beating her black and blue, telling her how much he loved her and how he was sorry. And Kid had believed him. In some strange way he had loved his wife and the mother of his children. In some strange way he had loved him and Jed and there were occasion, memories, which were filled with that love. Maybe that was the hardest part to understand. And since Kid didn't know why, it scared him, scared him more than anything else. When his family had been broken up after the death of his mother and the disappearance of his father, he had been moved to a foster family. It had been all right, not too bad, he assumed. At least they didn't beat him or anything. He had to work hard that was true, but they were decent folks. And yet he had missed his family. No matter how kind and decent the Crouchers was there was one thing missing in their home. Love. Kid wasn't sure if he could recall ever seeing a gesture of affection pass between Mr. And Mrs. Croucher. They had never had any children and had taken in the orphaned boy out of a sense of Christianity and humanity.

He assumed that it was therefore they hadn't reacted when Kid stated his intentions to head west and look for a job at the mere age of fourteen. Mr. Croucher had simply nodded and said something about "it being on time that he stopped living on them". So Kid had simply taken what few items he own and headed out in search for something he himself wasn't even sure of what it was.

Kid sighed at the memory and tried to find a comfortable position in the bunk, hoping that sleep eventually would find its way to him. But he hadn't even more than closed his eyes until the memories returned with renewed force.

At first he had found the loneliness a blessing. After being ordered around by Mr. and Mrs. Croucher his newfound freedom was a welcomed change. The further West he came the more did he enjoy the open spaces that he encountered and he didn't think too much on the fact that he was alone and had nothing more than the clothes on his body. With his frank and open face and honest appearance he managed to get by on doing small chores for the different storeowners or liveries that he passed. Once or twice he got lucky and managed to get a decent pay. Part of it was saved for worse time and the rest was spent on a ticket further west. There hadn't been any goal to his travelling nor had he had any idea of where his travelling would lead him, nor had he cared. As long as he could find a roof over his head for the night and food to fill his stomach, he had been happy. Alone, but happy.

Kid smiled sadly as the sound of thunder in the distance interrupted his thoughts. He had been so young then, so carefree. Now he knew better and he also had a pretty good idea of what it was that had sent the young boy on a desperate quest around the nation. Love. He had tried to tell himself that he had only been looking for adventure but in his heart he knew that wasn't the truth. He had searched for the one thing missing in his life since he had lost his family. And it had to be something different from what his father had called love and from what the Crouchers had defined as love and human kindness. He knew in his heart that somewhere he would find it. But he had never imagined that love could be so overwhelming or that it could bring out so many emotions in him. He hadn't really expected to find a family again either.

But he had. Jimmy, Cody, Ike, Buck and Noah; they were like brothers to him. It didn't really matter that he didn't always agree with them or that he approved of their actions. The fact was that what they had endured together, gone through together and sacrificed for each other had created a bond of love that would take a lot to sever. Or so he had thought. Now he wasn't so sure any more. When he had thought of the others as his family he hadn't accounted for that the others might have other ties - other obligations outside their group. Family to consider, persons and things important to them, not only memories. He had assumed that the others, like him, had severed all links to their past and he had to admit that it wasn't until now he realised that he had been mistaken. When he had left the Crouchers, it had been with the knowledge that he was alone and he had made his changes accordingly. He had dropped his name and using only the nickname his family had called him, nobody had ever taken enough interest in him to ask for more. Until the Express.

But his name, just as his background was a part of his past. He wasn't the boy that waited in fear for his father's return any more. He would never again sit in silence watching another person be humiliated or hurt. Kid would not have that on his conscience again. So he left it behind him and the memory of the small child only returned briefly to him with his brother's arrival in Sweetwater. But he even then had he refused to acknowledge those memories. He had grown up and for a while he belied that Jed had too. Until Jed had revealed his true reasons for being in Sweetwater. Sometime after Jed's death, Kid had found himself blaming himself that he grieved more for his brother's betrayal than his death. That he had grieved for the loss of the family rather than the loss of a brother.

Tears started to trickle down Kid's cheek at the memories and he closed his eyes tightly as he tried to keep his emotions from taking over. Now wasn't the time to allow his weakness to control him. Now he needed his strength if he was going to be able to save his friends. His family. All of them; Lou, Jimmy, Ike, Noah, Cody, Rachel and Teaspoon.

Suddenly he remembered Cody. Cody had accompanied him out to the army camp. He and his search party had headed in the opposite direction and they should be back by now. As he tried to recall their discussions before they had headed out he became more and more certain that Sergeant Grimes had been in Cody's group. And he was back, that was certain. Then where was Cody? He must have returned, but Kid couldn't imagine that Cody wouldn't see him, if so only to say hi. Maybe he was somewhere else in the camp, taking care of a wounded Buck? Turning the matters in his mind, that soon became the only option and soon Kid was convinced that Cody was nursing a seriously hurt Buck. That was the only reason for him not seeing Cody since their return. And in that case Kid was more worried about Buck than Cody. Silently he wowed to himself that he had to get back on his feet as soon as possible. There were too many unanswered questions in his mind. Exhausted he lie still listening to the steady trickle of the rain before his tiredness finally took over and he fell into a restless sleep with images of Buck, Lou and Cody staring at him in his dreams, accusing him of failing them, of leaving them behind.

---

When Kid woke up the next day it was already noon. Appalled over having slept for so long he tried to get out of the bunk. He hadn't more than moved his head until he realised that it would be impossible. He had the worst headache he's ever experienced before and even his body felt tied to the bunk. Realising that he was shivering he pulled the blanket tighter around him, when the doctor arrived. The doctor took one look at him before he passed his sentence.
"Looks like you have fever," he said. "You really should try and get some rest."
"I need to know where my friend is," Kid explained as the man checked the bandages.
"I've already told you that I don't know anything about an Indian," the doctor explained.
"What about the other Express rider then? The one that rode out at the same time as I did?"
"The blond fellow?"
"Yes."
"He never came back."
Kid felt his throat go dry. Cody never made it back? What had happened to him? Kid desperately tried to find a solution as the doctor, apparently content with his examination, told him to lay down again. Kid complied gratefully as the headache the movements caused prevented him from thinking straight.
"What about the others? The ones that accompanied him - the soldiers?" All Kid could do was ask questions as his mind seemed to have stopped working. He couldn't form a decent thought if so his life depended on it.
"The group under sergeant Grimes? They came back all right - said that the Express rider had insisted on staying out, continuing to search. Damn fool if you ask me."
"He stayed out there?" Images of Cody lying lifeless with an arrow in his back suddenly haunted his mind. "Why?"
"I don't know. Wait, you asked to see Grimes didn't you?"
Kid managed to shake the gruesome image from his mind. "Yes," he managed to say.
"I forgot to tell you - Sergeant Grimes was sent out on a scouting expedition yesterday. He ain't expected back until noon."
"Will you tell him that I need to see him then?"
"Sure, if you get some rest. You've got a pretty high fever and your head ain't gonna get any better until you've rested."
"I will," Kid nodded as he sank down on the bunk. Knowing that there was nothing he could do, he realised that he had to take care of himself. At least until sergeant Grimes returned.

----

"Kid?"
The voice slowly managed to get through the cobwebs of Kid's feverish mind. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the face hovering above him without recognising it. It was finally the voice that brought him back to reality.
"You all right, son?"
"Teaspoon?"
"I'm here - hey, take it easy Kid. You've got a nasty wound in your side and doc says you've got fever and you have a nasty bump on your head. Ain't sure how you got it son, but you can tell us when you're better."
"Teaspoon," Kid fought to get awake and his voice back. "Cody's missing - he never came back…"
"Don't worry, he's back at the station. He found Ellen and headed straight back."
"As straight as he could, that is." Kid turned his head slightly and saw Jimmy's grinning face behind Teaspoon.
"He's all right?" Kid asked weakly.
"As right as he can be, considering the circumstances."
Kid expected that there was more to Jimmy's word than what he was saying but he was too tired to care. Besides there was more important issues on his mind.
"Teaspoon, Buck's here somewhere," he continued, eager to let the stationmaster know his concerns and fears.
"Buck's here?" Teaspoon asked with a hint of confusion in his voice.
"It's a long story," Kid explained, "but he was helping me getting back here after I was injured. Indians stole our horses and we were travelling back on foot when the soldiers showed up. They brought us here and I haven't seen Buck since. Nobody's been telling me where he is either."
"I'll have a talk with the captain," Teaspoon stated harshly. "Don't worry, Kid, we'll find out what happened." Teaspoon rose, when Kid reached out and hold him back.
"Teaspoon, there's something you need to know," he said silently. Teaspoon slowly sank down on the chair again, hearing the urgency in Kid's voice.
"What, son? What is it that I need to know?"
"I don't know how to tell you this, but Buck's brother is dead."
"Dead? How do you know that?"
"I was injured when Buck find me. Indians stole our food and our horses and we tried to make it back here on foot. We wouldn't have made it, if Buck's brother hadn't showed up." Kid silenced and Teaspoon and Jimmy exchange looks. Something had happened out there, something bad.
"What happened, Kid?"
"The army found us. There was a gunfight, and…Buck's brother was killed."
"Buck saw it?" Jimmy asked.
Kid nodded as Teaspoon muttered something under his breath.
"Teaspoon," Kid continued, "Buck wouldn't talk to me about it. He just…sort of closed up. I don't even know if he listened to me."
"Don't worry, Kid, we'll sort this out. You just rest up and we'll find Buck, all right?"
"I'll stay here with Kid," Jimmy offered, remembering his promise to Lou. He wasn't sure just how he would fulfil it, seeing as Kid was injured and all, but he was determined not to let her down. The first thing he needed to do was to find out just how badly injured Kid was. Teaspoon nodded and walked out to where the others where waiting.

"How's Kid?" Noah wondered as he rose from the wooden box where he had been waiting. Next to him, Ike rose from a similar resting place.
"He's still weak after that bullet wound, but he seemed to be getting better. Jimmy's staying with him. Where's Bennett?"
"He went to get the reports from the lieutenant. Said something about getting things sorted out."
"Where is he?"
Ike pointed to a tent, set aside from the others and Teaspoon nodded.
"You better come with me," he suggested as he headed for the tent. Wondering what was going on, Noah and Ike followed him.

They found captain Bennett standing by his table and leaning over a map over the area, carefully listening to his lieutenant. When Teaspoon entered he looked up.
"Did you get any information from the boy?" he asked before Teaspoon had a chance to open his mouth.
"Some," Teaspoon replied harshly. "Where is my Express rider, Buck Cross?"
Captain Bennett looked up, taken aback.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Buck Cross. Kid said that he was brought here together with him. Where is he?"
Captain Bennett turned to the lieutenant.
"What is this all about? You never told me anything about any Express rider?"
The lieutenant cleared his throat.
"I didn't think it was of any importance," he replied tensely. "I was just following your orders, sir. When I saw that it was the half-breed you asked us to arrest, so I placed him under surveillance."
"Under arrest? You placed him under arrest?" Teaspoon said irritably. "Captain, that's not what I said…"
"Nor did I," Captain Bennett stated coldly as he stared at the lieutenant. He was just about to give the man a piece of his mind the man when Teaspoon interrupted.
"I don't care if he broke orders or not," he said. "All I'm interested in is knowing where he is."
Ike and Noah stepped up behind him to support the statement, both of them looking sternly at the two army officers. Bennett nodded.
"Tell them, lieutenant," he requested.
The lieutenant looked from one to another, before he hesitantly opened his mouth.
"In the third tent from the storage," he replied shortly. "Private Johnson is on guard."
"Thank you," Teaspoon sneered. "Ike, Noah - head over there and see that he's all right."
"And if he isn't," he continued sternly after Noah and Ike had left, "you'll be answering to me." He stared icily at the lieutenant that suddenly seemed slightly pale and he took a step back from the angry marshal.
"Enough," Bennett said. "I'll deal with my men, marshal. I'll see that he doesn't step out of line again. But before that we got more important things to discuss. The lieutenant and I have been looking at the map and I think we've found something interesting." He pulled forward the map.
"Look here," he said as he placed his finger on the map. "Here's where your rider said he found the girl. And here," he pointed at another spot on the map, "here's where my soldiers found your riders. According to Kid's - that's his name, right - his group was attacked by Indians somewhere round here."
Teaspoon looked over the map, seeing clearly what Bennett was aiming at.
"You're saying that…," he begun.
"That the Kiowa village has to be here somewhere." Bennett drew a circle on the map.
"Any tracks?" Teaspoon asked, ignoring the lieutenant completely.
"No. That blasted rain that delayed us, wiped everything away. But," he said convincingly. "Look here, this village need food and water. Now, I realise that they might have been forced to use their winter's supplies, but even so, they need the game if they'll survive the winter. I've seen one of those tepees up close once. It's made of fifteen or more buffalo hides - with the buffalo being scarce they can't afford to loose a single tepee. They would need to find a place where they stay for some time. Like this valley."
Teaspoon looked at the captain.
"You surprise me, captain," he mumbled, realising the logic in the army officer's reasoning, as he stared at the map. The valley that the captain had indicated would be the perfect place, yet there was something that told him it was too easy. The Kiowa had outwitted and outrun the army for a long time. The valley was too obvious.
"I see what you mean," he admitted.
"But?"
"It's too obvious, captain."
"That's all? Too obvious?"
"Yes. It's just this feeling I have," Teaspoon explained.
"Well, we can't stay here anyway. Tomorrow I'm moving the camp here. That would bring us one and a half day from the valley. They are there somewhere, marshal, I know it."

Ike hastily walked through the camp, eager to see his friend and worried about his condition. Teaspoon had told them what Kid had said and Ike knew better than anyone how Buck would react to his brother's death. Buck had never spoken about his brother - in fact the first time Ike had heard about him was when the Express stations were being attacked by the Kiowa. But Ike had seen how Buck had acted, how he had spoken about his brother and Ike didn't need to hear the words to know just how important his brother was to Buck. And in his friend's tenuous state, Ike wasn't sure how Buck had reacted to his brother's death. He feared that part of his friend had died too. He reached the tent only a few steps ahead of Noah, but as he attempted to enter, he was firmly stopped by the guard, private Johnson.
"You're not allowed to enter," he stated. Ike stared angrily at him, when Noah strode up.
"We just came from the captain," he stated. "Let us in."
The guard look insecurely at them.
"The lieutenant said…," he begun.
"Well, the captain said we could see him. Now, if you want to question his orders…" Noah didn't have to finish the sentence until the guard quickly stepped away. Ike didn't waste a second and quickly stepped inside as soon as private Johnson was out of the way. Noah looked sternly at the guard before he followed.

----

Buck looked up briefly as he heard the voices outside. One of them sounded vaguely familiar but he didn't care. Shrugging, he turned away from the noise outside and returned to his contemplating state. There wasn't much else for him to do anyway, not with a guard standing outside and the army all around him. Not that he cared. They could lock him up and threw away the key if they wanted, he wouldn't care. The only thing that he could think of was that Red Bear was dead. His brother was dead. His only link to the Kiowa, the people he grew up with, the people he longed to be able to call his own, was gone. And Buck felt lost. Somewhere in his mind he had knew that one day he could loose his brother, but in his heart he had hoped and somehow believed that his brother would always be there. He couldn't really believe that he was dead. It seemed like a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. Tired and exhausted he had fallen asleep on their way back to the army camp, and his memories of the trip were vague at best. He seemed to remember Kid talking to him, but he failed to remember what he had said. The next time he had woken up, he had been faced with a suspicious lieutenant that had asked him his name and what he was doing out there. Unable to shake the image of the army attack from his mind, Buck had simply refused to oblige and he had ended up in the tent, guarded as if he was a prisoner. Buck suspected that he indeed was. He hadn't seen Kid and for a while he wondered if Kid knew about his situation.

Maybe Kid also was suspicious of him - after all, he wasn't sure what Kid was thinking lately. Slowly the hours had turned to days and nothing changed. A friendly-looking sergeant had checked in on him now and then, making sure he had enough water and food and that he got enough rest. Buck's strength was quickly returning to him and although he felt better physically, his mood was far from restored. He spent many hours contemplating what had happened, wondering if there was something he had done that had brought it on, if there was something he could have done to avoid it, if he could have stopped it. Guilt, mixed with emptiness and fear haunted his waking hours as his dreams. He felt as if his soul had been consumed by a black hole that now filled his chest, preventing him to feel anything. He couldn't even grieve properly and it hurt him. His brother deserved to be grieved over and yet he couldn't shed a single tear. Not that he would show any grief as long as he was confined the an army camp, nor would it be easy for him to see anyone in uniform without thinking of them as murderer. Occupied by these depressing thoughts he didn't even look up when the tent covering was thrown open. He didn't look up until he felt a concerned hand on his shoulder and he found himself looking into the worried eyes of Ike. Before he could say anything, a sound by the opening made him look in that direction only to see Noah enter as well. Stunned, Buck found himself speechless.

Noah smiled weakly at his friend as Ike placed himself next to his friend, carefully studying his friend's face for any signs of weakness or illness.
"How are you doing?" Noah asked. "Kid was worried about you - said that you were forced to walk through some pretty harsh country."
"I'm fine," Buck said, his voice coarse from lack of use. "You've seen Kid?"
Ike nodded and moved his hands. <He's in the sick-tent. The doc had to pick out a bullet from him. Nobody told him were you was and he was worried.> Ike hesitated for a second before continuing. <He told us what happened.>
"He told you about Red Bear?" Buck mumbled and lowered his eyes to the ground.
"Yes. We're sorry, Buck," Noah said sympathetically.
"Why?" Buck said coldly and irritated. "Why would you care? You didn't even knew him."
"He was your brother."
"So? You didn't care very much when the way stations were attacked."
<Noah wasn't with us then,> Ike objected. <And that was along time ago - a lot have happened since then.>
"Why would it be different now? The station was attacked and all of you know who did it. Why should you care about an Indian?"
"Because we care about you," Noah stated firmly.
<I know how much your brother meant to you,> Ike added. <We just want you to know that we're here for you.>
"Of course you are - now that you're sure that there's nothing that ties me to the Kiowa any more."
"That's not what Ike meant," Noah objected softly, carefully looking at Buck. He didn't like where this conversation was headed, didn't like it at all.
<Are you sure you're all right?> Ike asked concerned.
"No, I'm not," was the reply. "My brother was murdered before my eyes - for no reason." Buck closed his eyes for a second. "He's dead, Ike." Buck shook his head. "I can't believe it," he mumbled.
Ike looked up and let his eyes meet Noah's. Noah nodded and rose.
"I'll find Teaspoon," he announced and turned to leave the two best friends alone. If anyone could get Buck out of the shell he had created around him it was Ike.

Lou sat on Buck's bunk staring out the window.
"It's gonna rain," she stated.
"Not that too," Cody moaned as he desperately tried to tie his necktie. He had been invited, or rather been ordered, to attain dinner at Ellen's parents and his nervous hands refused to co-operate. Seeing his plight, Lou rose from the bunk and walked up to him. Not waiting for him to object she quickly tied it for him before returning to the bunk.
"How do I look?" Cody asked, nervously fingering the necktie.
Lou sighed. "You look fine. Stop fidgeting. The worst thing that can happen is that Mr. Curtis kills you."
Cody frowned at her. "Thanks a lot, Lou," he sneered.
"I ain't the one that said I was gonna marry his daughter," Lou shrugged as she once more turned her attention to the window.
"They aren't supposed to be back for days yet," Cody stated as he saw her gaze.
"I know that," Lou muttered and turned away from the window, irritated that she was so easily read. She knew that there was no way that Jimmy could be back with Kid yet, but still there was that longing feeling that made her search the plain in hope of seeing them.
"They should be at the army camp by now," she mumbled, more to herself than Cody.
Cody turned to her.
"They'll be fine, Lou," he said consoling.
"You worry about your dinner," Lou muttered.
"Just trying to be friendly," Cody replied curtly as he took one last look in the mirror. He wasn't at all comfortable with the dinner, but right now he looked forward to get away from the moody Lou. Still there was something that made him hesitate.
"You're sure you'll be all right on your own?" he asked.
"Of course I will," Lou said. "I can take care of myself."
"I can send somebody out to the Curtis's telling them I can't make it," Cody continued.
"Oh no, you're not going to be able to blame me when Teaspoon get back and hear that you didn't get to that dinner. You'll go."
"That's not it," Cody objected.
"Noo?" Lou said teasingly.
"It's just a dinner," Cody muttered.
"Of course it is - and you better get going if you're not going to be late."
"You'll be all right then?"
"Sure. Besides what could happen? Teaspoon and Jimmy put those horse thieves behind bars, the Kiowa is too far away and chased by the army. I'll be fine."
"If you're sure," Cody shrugged and reached for his hat.
"Good luck," Lou called out after him as he defied the rain and quickly crossed the yard over to the stable.

'He will be wet before he even reach the Curtis home,' she pondered when she saw him emerge with his horse. To her surprise he seemed to have remembered to take one of the rain coats with him and she realised that he might not be as nervous as she had thought initially. She envied that in him and wondered if there was anything that made Cody nervous, except being without food. She felt as if she was constantly nervous lately nervous about being pregnant, nervous about not being, worried what Kid would say, if he would return, what they would do…basically everything that was important to her and her life. What if he would leave her? Where would she go? A single mother? Stop it, she ordered herself. You don't even know of you're pregnant. There might be another reason for you missing a period. A lot of reasons…but how much she tried she failed to find them. She returned her gaze out the window.
"You better be all right, Kid," she mumbled as she watched the raindrops creating rivulets on the window. That Jimmy would bring him back was something she was convinced about. If Jimmy said he would do something, he did. And as much as she longed for Kid to return, she also feared it. How would he react to her news? Lou sighed heavily and contemplated getting up and fixing herself a cup of tea. But somehow it felt as too much of an effort and she remained where she was, a victim of conflicting thoughts and emotions.

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