hapter 17

Rachel slowly dismounted from Clodhopper. There wasn't a single soul in sight nor did she hear a sound. She grabbed Clodhopper by the reins and removed her hat while she looked around. Slowly she started to walk towards the glade, looking carefully around her. What if he wasn't here? she thought as she stopped where she had made the fire last night. Maybe she had got everything wrong? Suddenly she felt uncertain of what she should do. It was stupid of her to think that he might feel the way she did. After all they hadn't promised each other anything. In fact they hadn't said much at all, she thought miserably. What had got into her? She had never felt this way before, not even with Henry. Henry had been the love of her life, the solid rock, the ship on the stormy sea and he had given her everything she could have wished for - a home, safety, love and a child, at least until all had been shattered and she had lost everything. With Red Bear there was nothing, no promises of love, a future or safety. Maybe that was what attracted her, she pondered, as she slowly walked through the glade, looking for any signs that somebody had been there. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by a voice behind her.

"You returned."

Rachel spun around and looked into the eyes of Red Bear. She smiled, unable to hide her relief and satisfaction to see him.

"I didn't think you were here," she replied. Red Bear looked at the forest behind her.

"This is a special place to me," Red Bear answered without specification to why. "There's a small cave on the hillside, I've made camp there. The fire cannot be seen from here."

Rachel let him take care of the horse as she followed him up the hill. The view from the small hill was magnificent and for a moment she found herself standing still, just enjoying the sight while Red Bear saw to her horse.

"It's beautiful here," she mumbled as the sound of soft footstep approached her.

"It was even more beautiful before," he answered, and pointed out over the valley. "My grandfather used to tell me about the buffalo herds that passed her in the summer. The small lake you see was deeper then, and there was a small river running in that gorge. The valley was greener too."

"What happened?" Rachel asked although she almost knew the answer.

"You happened," Red Bear replied shortly and walked over to put some more wood on the fire. "You have some news?"

Rachel walked over and sat down by the fire. Red Bear sat herself next to her, but keeping his distance, making Rachel uncertain if what had happened between them really mattered or not.

"I've got good news," she said, "Wun-oan-te-mee - she did an effort in pronouncing the name right and got an appreciating nod from Red Bear - is fine, and it's looks like she's gonna be all right. She's not eating yet, but the medicine works just fine.

"She has not eaten?" A worried frown showed in Red Bear's face and Rachel quickly added.

"It's all right, she's drinking water and I'm been giving her some broth. The doctor just want to make sure that all or most of the poison is gone before she eats anything."

Red Bear nodded in understanding.

"And Running Buck?"

"He's better, but he's still at the doctor's house. He lost a lot of blood." Rachel explained.

"But he will live?"

"If nothing unexpected happens, then yes."

"I'm relieved they are all right."

"Wun-oan-te-mee - ," Rachel hesitated, and changed what she had thought of saying, - what does her name mean?"
"Mean?"

"In English?"

"White Weasel. She was named after her grand mother. My wife and I was honoured she let us."

"Honoured?" Rachel asked, intrigued by the different custom.

"When an elder gives her or his name away to child that child is honoured. If the name is not given away, it will die with its owner," Red Bear explained softly.

"Oh," Rachel said, not knowing what to say. Suddenly she felt that there was so much to know, that she wanted to know, but she wasn't certain if she could ask.

"What will you get Wun-oan-te-mee to eat?" Red Bear suddenly asked.

"I don't know, I suppose the doctor will tell us. Why?"

"She can not eat fish or birds," Red Bear stated. "It's bad medicine."

"That's way Buck doesn't eat it," Rachel realised, remembering when Jimmy and Cody had proudly had brought back a large catch of fish and Buck simply had refused to eat it, much to Cody's dismay. "I'll see to it that she isn't served that," she continued as she cast a glance at the man sitting next to her.

"May I ask something?" she said silently.

Red Bear looked surprised but nodded.

"What were you doing out here when I was -- attacked?"

"This place is special to me," Red Bear admitted, knowing that it was not the answer the woman wanted. He sighed silently before continuing. "When I was a child, my grandfather used to tell me of this place. He had his first vision here and it was his intention that his son and grandson would seek the same place."

"So you did?"

"No. We had moved away. The village, your town, had grown too large, and the buffaloes no longer passed this valley. If we had stayed we would have starved. But I still remember his stories. This place is still a place of quiet, a place to let go of your worries."

"Do you miss it? The old days? --- Your wife?"

"She lives in my heart." Red Bear shook his head. "To dwell too much in the past is to die in the present," he stated and looked at her. "Are you happy despite your husband's death?"

Rachel sighed.

"I don't know. Sometimes I miss him, miss being with him, and other times there are just too much in life for me to grieve. I haven't looked at another, until ---" Rachel blushed slightly, not knowing how to end the question. Suddenly she decided to change the subject, and started to look in her pockets of the coat.

"By the way, I have something for you," she smiled, and handed Red Bear a single paper.

"What is this?" he asked perplexed.

"White Weasel drew this," Rachel laughed and moved closer to show him what it was. "I think this is you, and that might be a tepee. I think that might be --" she frowned, and the she smiled "--well, I ain't sure what that is."

"My horse," Red Bear smiled and turned to her and gently touched her face. At the touch Rachel felt a tingling sensation on her skin that sent a chill down her spine and she looked Red Bear in the eyes. As she gently caressed his hand she saw the passion and desire in his eyes, a desire that she knew was mirrored in hers.

"Can you stay?"

Rachel could just nod as she slipped into his embrace. For a while they sat in silence watching the fire, just enjoying the nearness of each other. Slowly they begun talking again, Rachel trying to describe the life at the way station as Red Bear enlightened her about Kiowa ways. The more Rachel got to know this man the more she could imagine him whispering the words she wanted to hear when things seemed hopeless: "Let me hold you and everything will be all right." She could imagine that so easily because he had that quality about him, too, the quiet power of a man who could make everything right just by taking her in his arms. As she was right now, she thought.

"What are you thinking about?" The question startled her, she had been too wrapped up in her own minds, and she hadn't realised that Red Bear had become silent.

"I don't know," she admitted, but then she continued; "Where are we going?" Rachel slipped out of his embrace and turned to face him. "Are we crazy, or is there something right in all this?"

Red Bear looked at her with a frown.

"We are here, now. That's all that matters."

"For you, maybe, but I --" she didn't know how to continue, "What about tomorrow?"

"It's not here yet. When tomorrow comes we'll know what to do." Looking at her, gently caressing her hair, loosening it up and following its fall down to her shoulders, he continued softly. "I can't give you more."

"I know. I'm not asking for more, I just had to know," she whispered as her jacket slowly was pulled from her shoulders and she slipped out of it with ease. They moved closer and their lips met in a tender kiss. Rachel felt Red Bear's hand caress her shoulders, hesitating at the edge of her blouse, then moving slowly along it until the first button. Feeling his hesitation Rachel kissed him again, this time with more passion as she returned the gesture by softly caressing his chest over his buckskin shirt. They parted for a second as she felt her blouse slipped down her shoulder and she helped Red Bear out of his shirt. Clad in only her vest she saw Red bear watching her.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as his hand travelled from her shoulder strap, gently caressing her neck, up to her face. Looking at him she took his hand in hers and moved it to her mouth, kissing it gently, caressing it before she let go and moved closer to him. He took her hand and urged her to her feet, kissing her as he moved further into the cave. Rachel already know where they were heading as she kissed him back. She had seen the simple bed of fir and hides when she entered the cave and although she knew that it wasn't as soft as her own bed, it wasn't a place on earth she rather wanted to be at this moment. She sank down on the soft fur as her shoulder strap slipped down her shoulder. Red Bear sat down next to her, softly placing his lips where the strap had been, caressing her back with his hands, undoing her skirt. Urged by a sudden stroke of impatience, surprising even herself, Rachel leaned backwards, dragging Red Bear with her, kissing him fervently. Red Bear smiled at her and gently pushed her down, placing a finger on her mouth before he let it trace down her chin and her neck, and letting his hand tauntingly caress the area just below her neck.

"We've got all night", he whispered, as he fumbled with her vest.

"I want you," Rachel whispered back as she moved his hand away, realising that she could do it so much faster. Slowly they removed the rest of their clothing, too slow for Rachel. Red Bear's hands and lips seemed to start fires all over her body and she had never needed somebody as much as she needed him right now. The world could stop turning for all she cared as long as she didn't have to leave this makeshift bed, this centre of the world. What had been an intense act of passion the night before had turned into a slow discovery of who they were, taking their time, bringing each other to new heights with each moment.

Rachel woke up to the steady beat of a heart and she sighed as she let her hand slowly caress the chest she was resting her head on until a hand stopped her hand. Rachel lifted her head and gazed into the eyes of Red Bear and she realised that he had been awake for some time.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, intertwining his fingers in her fingers.

"I didn't have the heart to," he replied and kissed her gently on the top of her head. Rachel moved up to kiss him. He removed the hair from her face and looked at her as he with one hand stroke her hair, then continuing down her back, caressing and taunting her as he let his fingers circle lower and lower, until Rachel softly moaned and placed herself on top of him, kissing his chest, neck and finally his mouth as they slowly and gently made love for the second time that night.

Slightly flushed, Rachel huddled up in Red Bear's arms, caressing his chest and let her finger slowly follow the visible scar on his right side. She was about to ask him how he had received it, when she realised that reason why she had noticed the scar first now. She could feel the warm rays of the sun on her back as they slowly found their way into the cave. It was with a slight feeling of despair she realised that the riders probably were up already, wondering where she was. Turning to release her from the gentle hug, she was surprised when Red Bear took a firmer grip of her.

"I have to get back," she whispered and looked at Red Bear with a frown. He smiled back at her and in the next second she wound herself being carried out of the cave. Nervously, she placed her arms around his neck, wondering what was going on. Had she mistaken herself on him?

"Red Bear, I've got nothing on," she objected as he suddenly dropped her. Gasping in alarm, the next second she found herself under water. Her head immediately broke the surface.

"Why, you!" she called as he dived into the water next to her. Smiling he reappeared next to her.

"Thought we needed a bath," he said grinning, and suddenly Rachel felt much younger than she'd ever felt before. Not having the easiest of childhood, she had been forced to grow up fast, too fast in some ways. When she was with Red Bear, she had this strange feeling of freedom and not having to be responsible. There was lightness, almost recklessness, as if there would be no tomorrow, and today was all they had. She frowned at him and splashed water at him, wondering what the boys would say if they could see her know. She was a fine example for them, she thought with a smile. When Red Bear returned her splashing by embrace her and kiss her, she kissed him back before she gently pushed him away.

"I really need to get back." She laughed at the obvious disappointment that shown in his face, but he made no movement to stop her as she headed for the shore and walked up, not being bothered for a second that she wasn't wearing a thing. She was well aware that Red Bear was watching her and she slyly turned her head and smiled at him. He responded with a frown and walked up to her.

"Never do that," he said sternly, before he smiled and let his lips touch her shoulder. "You'll drive a man to insanity."

"I do?" Rachel replied tauntingly, looking for something to dry herself with. Red Bear held out a piece of wood and Rachel looked wonderingly at him.

"What this?" she asked.

"It helps you to dry. Try it," he said as he showed her how to use it. "I'll get your clothes."

Rachel looked at the small piece of wood and was amazed that it really seemed to work. She was almost done when Red Bear, already dressed, returned with her things. Rachel quickly dressed and placed a resolute kiss on Red Bear's cheek before she mounted Clodhopper who faithfully stood beside them watching the events with his big brown eyes.

Chapter 18

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