Cody yawned as he put his hands over his head and stretched out his body. Sighing over the morning run he was assigned to, he glanced around the room. As usual Buck was already up and getting dressed.

When Buck saw that Cody was awake, he turned to him.

“I’ll take this run,” he said curtly.

Cody stared in amazement at him. To see Buck up before dawn was not unusual, but to have him offering to take the ride was another matter. He raised himself up on one elbow.

“Why?” he asked and then immediately regretted his words. But he didn’t have to worry. Buck had no intention of taking back his offer.

“I’ll take it,” he simply repeated and reached for his hat.

Before Cody could open his mouth again, Buck was already out the door. Shivering from the chilled air the open door brought in, Cody easily slipped under the covers again. Thinking about his good luck, he was soon fast asleep. In his mind it hadn’t lasted more than a few minutes when he was roughly awakened.

“Why aren’t you on a run?”

Cody wiped his tired eyes and looked into the questioning face of the stationmaster.

“Buck offered to take it,” Cody volunteered. “He headed out first thing this morning.”

Teaspoon stared in surprise at Cody for a moment. He shook his head and turned away. “Of course he did,” he muttered. When he noticed the other riders staring oddly at him, he quickly gathered himself.

“What are you looking at?” he barked. “Get up, there are chores to be done.” With those words he turned and left the bunkhouse, still uncertain of what to do.

Lou watched him leave and frowned.

“Something ain’t right,” she said out loud.

Jimmy yawned and looked at her quizzically. “Maybe it is,” he drawled, “but if I were you I wouldn’t stick my nose in it. I have seen enough of Teaspoon’s bad mood to last me a lifetime.”

“You’re not interested in knowing what’s going on?” Lou asked.

“Nope, and if you know what’s best for you, you shouldn’t be either,” he said, threatening, as he grabbed a towel to walk out and wash up.

Lou turned to Kid for some support but the lanky southerner just shook his head.

******

It was after lunch when Lou’s curiosity got the best of her.

Rawnie was sitting on the porch of Emma’s house, peeling potatoes for supper. Lou carefully glanced around her, but when nobody was in sight, she walked up to the house. It was the first time she had seen Rawnie help out with the chores, and although it wasn’t normal, it wasn’t strange either. She walked up the stairs and cleared her throat.

Rawnie turned and looked at her. There was a hint of confusion in her eyes and Lou remembered her behavior towards Rawnie hadn’t exactly been friendly.

“Hi,” Lou said hesitantly.

Rawnie nodded a greeting and returned to peeling. “Emma’s in the back doing the laundry,” she informed, thinking Lou was there to see Emma.

“Um,” Lou began, “I’m not here to see Emma. I … I wanted to talk to you.”

Rawnie looked up in surprise. “Me?” she asked. “Why do you want to talk to me?”

Lou took a deep breath. “Nothing special,” she muttered. “Just wondering, that’s all.”

Rawnie stared at the boy. There was something odd about Lou but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Lou had been avoiding her since she’d arrived and she couldn’t figure out why he would ask her anything.

“Wondering about what?” she asked a bit apprehensive.

Lou must have heard the hesitation in her voice and she backed off slightly. But she was too curios to stop now.

“Why Teaspoon is so upset,” Lou replied. “He never acted like that before, not before…”

“Not before I came here?” Rawnie spat angrily. Lou had no right accusing her. “Well, you got no right asking me anything.”

“Well, Teaspoon’s more than our boss,” Lou replied. “If you’ve done anything to upset him, then I think you should tell me.”

“I haven’t done anything, besides, as I said, it’s none of your business.”

“I say it is.”

Suddenly Rawnie rose and stared Lou in the face. “Why don’t you say what’s on your mind,” she said with anger. “You want me too leave, don’t you?” She placed her hands on her hips and stared defiantly at Lou.

“I never said that,” Lou muttered back. She had just about had enough of the haughty attitude of Rawnie.

“Just as you know, I wouldn’t mind if you did. You’ve been nothing but trouble since you arrived here, and me and the boys…” She had raised her voice slightly and had involuntarily mimicked Rawnie’s pose, when she suddenly remembered something and quickly lowered her head.

But Rawnie had already seen it.

“You and the …boys?” she said hesitantly not sure she could believe her eyes. Suddenly everything seemed cleared to her. Lou’s grumpy attitude, the distance, it all made sense to her. She had seen the look Lou gave her before – from other women, never from men.

“You’re a girl!” she blurted out and Lou looked up at her, startled and angry.

“Shhh,” she said quickly, “Teaspoon doesn’t know.” Then she looked hesitantly at Rawnie. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Why?” Rawnie asked, ignoring Lou’s plea. “Why are you dressed as a boy? And why do you ride for the Express?”
“Because I had no other choice,” Lou spat angrily. “You don’t know what it is like out there,” she added and indicated the rest of the world in a sweeping gesture. “I did it because I have to. Now why don’t you go and spoil it all by telling them,” she muttered and pushed her hands deep into her pockets, angry with herself for revealing her true gender in front of Rawnie of all people.

“I ain’t gonna tell,” Rawnie said slowly.

She knew only too well what danger the world held for a girl – a single girl with no family. Emma had told her all the riders were orphans and she suspected Lou was not an exception. Her anger slowly gave way to awe. Lou had been smart, she pondered. Dressing as a boy would have make things so much easier had she only thought of the idea. She sighed and sat down.

“My life ain’t been very charming either,” she admitted.

Lou looked at her. She had expected Rawnie to laugh at her, maybe tease her and then tell Teaspoon, causing Lou to be forced to leave, but instead she had a feeling Rawnie wasn’t going to do any of those things. She almost felt sympathetic. But she was still suspicious.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “You’re Teaspoon’s niece…”

“Well, his brother wasn’t exactly a decent man.” Rawnie shrugged. “I never knew him, so it’s hard for me to tell. He left mama as fast as he could when he realized she was having a baby. He died in prison.” She looked intently at Lou. “Bet you Teaspoon never told you that,” she said flatly.

“No, he didn’t,” Lou replied and sat down next to her. “But you – well, you’ve acted as if you owned the world since you arrived here. Why?”

Rawnie shrugged again. There were too many secrets and she wasn’t ready to relieve all of them yet. “Didn’t make sense to help out when I knew Teaspoon was going to send me away.”

“He was?”

“Yeah, but Emma talked to him, so I guess I’m staying.” She looked carefully over at Lou. “That is if you want me to stay, I suppose?” she asked wearily.

“We ain’t gonna send you away,” Lou said, more secure now when she realized Rawnie and she had more in common than she had thought. She thought back to the man claiming to be her father and shivered. Sometimes it was better not to know too much about your parents, she pondered.

“Teaspoon told you all this about your father?” Lou asked.

“After a while. Guess he doesn’t like the idea of having a thief, murderer and rapist in the family any more than I,” Rawnie replied,

“Rapist? You mean he … your mother?”

“No.” Rawnie shook her head and cast a careful glance in Lou’s direction. Something in the other girl’s face told her Lou was one to be trusted and she softly continued. “He raped Buck’s mother.”

*****

“Lou? Lou!” Cody reached over the table and brusquely shook Lou’s shoulder. “You in or not?” he asked when she finally acknowledged him.

A bit confused, Lou looked at him before remembering she was in the middle of a card game. She quickly glanced down at the cards in her hand. She could easily win the pot, but what Rawnie had told her earlier weighed heavily on her and she couldn’t concentrate.

“No,” she said quickly and placed down her cards. “I’m out.” She rose and walked over to her bunk where she sank down deep in thoughts, ignoring Cody’s gleeful smile at her departure. Kid looked after her.

“Everything all right, Lou?” he asked with concern.

Lou looked up. “Yes,” she began, but then she changed her mind. “No, it isn’t.”

“What’s wrong?” Kid asked, the game completely forgotten. Even Ike and Jimmy seemed to have lost interest to Cody’s dismay.

“Hey guys, we’re in the middle of a game here,” he complained.

“Shut up, Cody,” Jimmy growled and rose. “What’s up, Lou?” he asked.

“I talked to Rawnie today,” Lou admitted.

“And?” Kid wanted to know.

Lou smiled weakly. “Well, she found out I’m a girl, but that’s not all…”

“You told her?” Kid asked aghast. “What if she tells Teaspoon?”

“She won’t tell,” Lou said quickly. “But she did tell me something else. I think I know why Buck took your run, Cody.”

“I know it,” the blonde rider exclaimed. “They’re seeing each other, right? Bet that’s why she’s been turning me down.”

Lou shook her head. “She ain’t been seeing Buck. She’s Buck’s sister – or half sister, anyway.”

The last statement caused the bunkhouse to be silent as time slowly passed away. It was Kid who first recovered from the shock.

“You’re sure?” he asked. “I mean, not even Buck knows who is father was. He told us that. Why would Rawnie know…”

“Teaspoon told her,” Lou interrupted.

*Teaspoon knew?* Ike asked suddenly. *How did he know? How long has he known?*

“If you’re silent I’ll tell you all I know,” Lou promised and so she did.

Everything that Rawnie had told her as they sat on the porch. So, as the darkness settled over the station, Lou told the others of what she had learned about Logan, Teaspoon’s lost brother.