Teaspoon found Buck examining the left leg of his horse.

“Anything wrong?” he asked.

Buck looked up and shook his head. If he was surprised over the changed attitude from Teaspoon he didn’t say anything.

“I’m not sure. She felt a bit stiff earlier, but I can’t see anything.”

“Let her stay in the corral for a bit, Teaspoon suggested. “Might just be a sore muscle. A bit of easy motion may soften it up.”

“Guess you’re right,” Buck replied and rose. He patted the horse before leading her outside.

Teaspoon followed and soon both of them stood watching the animal slowly walk around the corral.

“Looks fine,” Teaspoon stated after a few minutes.

“I’ll let her stay out here for a bit longer anyway,” Buck stated.

“Sounds like a wise idea,” Teaspoon confirmed as his mind began to wander on just how to approach the issue at hand. He stared out over the corral and the plains behind him and he realized there would never be any better time than right now. He cleared is throat.

“Buck, earlier I told you there was something you needed to know.”

Teaspoon sensed the boy next to him stiffen.

“Just hold it a minute,” he said before he quickly continued. “It has nothing to do with Rawnie, or rather only partly to do with her. It’s about her father – my brother.” Teaspoon glanced at Buck, and although Buck wasn’t looking at him he hadn’t left.

“I left my family when I was in my teens,” Teaspoon began. “My father wasn’t exactly what you would call ‘fatherly.’ His only means of raising a child was a thorough beating. I left my siblings in his care and just took off.”

Teaspoon remained silent for a few seconds.

“Years later I ran into my younger brother. He was…” Again he hesitated. “He was a wild one, but I thought I could make up for leaving, so we stuck together for a while. For one autumn we were in the mountains, trading with those far away tribes out there. The Kiowa was one of them. Everything was fine until…” Teaspoon’s voice suddenly disappeared and he had to clear his throat. “Until he raped the wife of one of their chiefs,” he said sadly.

Teaspoon heard Buck suddenly turn around and felt the rider’s eyes on him, yet he didn’t turn to face the boy. He couldn’t, not yet anyway.

“I got him out of there, knowing what the Kiowa would do should they find him. When we were safe, I told him I didn’t want to see him again and sent him on his own way. Last time I saw him he was on his way to prison for killing a man.”

Slowly, he turned to look at Buck. Buck was staring at him with a frown on his face as if he didn’t know if he should believe the stationmaster’s words.

“The woman he raped was your mother,” Teaspoon ended and waited for the reply.

For a minute Buck just stood there.

“How do you know that?” he asked finally.

“I was trading with them. I knew her, or rather I knew of her. She had a son named Red Bear. I didn’t realize the bond until you told us about him. Then there are other things, there’s a likeness…”

“I’m nothing like him,” Buck interrupted harshly and backed away from Teaspoon. “You didn’t have to tell me about this – I don’t want to know anything about my father.”

“I thought you and Rawnie…you’re siblings after all,” Teaspoon began but before he could end the sentence Buck was already on his way away from him.

“Buck!” Teaspoon called out, but Buck ignored him. Cursing under his breath he started to run after the boy. He could not let this go now, he had to end what he had started. He caught up with the boy in the barn where Buck was making his horse ready.

“Listen Buck,” Teaspoon began, “you can’t head out every time something happens. You need to talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Buck stated curtly without turning around.

“My brother was your father, Buck. That’s something we need to talk about.”

“You maybe need to talk – I don’t,” came the reply.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Teaspoon continued calmly. He wouldn’t let go of his nephew just yet.

For the first time Buck turned and looked at the stationmaster.

“You can’t forbid me to go,” he muttered with barely contained anger.

All of his upbringing he had been told to respect his elders, but he had been told something that had thrown his life upside down. The turmoil he felt was too much for him to handle and the urge to get away was the only thing he cared about for the moment.

“I can and I will,” Teaspoon declared and placed himself in Buck’s path.

Buck, who had grabbed his horse, stopped and stared at Teaspoon. Teaspoon refused to budge and finally it was Buck who turned away.

Teaspoon exhaled, unaware he’d been holding his breath.

Without a word, Buck returned his horse to its stall and began to remove the saddle.

Teaspoon slowly approached the boy.

“I’m sorry,” he began softly. “I’m sorry for what Logan did to you and your mother. Every day since then I have wished things would be different.” He paused for a few seconds. “But you’re a result of those events,” he said quietly, “and I wouldn’t have missed knowing you or having you in my life - irrespective of any kinship. I hope you understand that.”

Buck lowered his gaze. He didn’t know what to say. Only a few hours ago he had been convinced Teaspoon held the same prejudices as most other white men he had encountered and yet the same man just had told him he was wanted. But on the other hand he had also told him that a man Buck had hated since he was old enough to understand the circumstances of his birth was a relative.

A brother.

And Teaspoon had known what he had done and helped him get away.

Buck tried to ignore it, but Red Bear’s angry face kept reappearing before him. His brother’s ill-contained anger when he told his younger brother of the man who was his father. Red Bear had at first refused to talk about it, but Buck had persisted. He had just reached the age when a father normally took over the upbringing of a son and the knowledge had seemed important to him then.

Now he mostly remembered Red Bear’s carefully put promise to kill the man responsible and his brother. Seeing his brother’s anguish over the fact that the crime had gone unpunished, he had promised the same thing. He knew it was a long time ago, but never in his life had he thought he would have to question his own promise. He could not kill Teaspoon, but he couldn’t just let it go either. Then there was Rawnie, but he couldn’t think about her right now. He needed time. He looked up at Teaspoon.

“You don’t know what my life’s been like,” he said slowly. “I asked my brother once about the man who fathered me. I vowed never to ask again. I don’t want to know.”
“I understand that Buck,” Teaspoon said sadly. “I’m sorry for the pain this might have caused you.” Teaspoon sighed. “And for the pain I caused you in avoiding telling you. I hurt both you and Rawnie and for that I’m sorry.”

Buck shook his head. He didn’t need Teaspoon’s apologies. “You don’t understand,” he said again.

Before he could continue Cody burst through the door and stopped dead in his tracks. Still a bit wary of Teaspoon since the first outburst, he smiled wearily. “I didn’t know anybody was here,” he said.

Teaspoon immediately grabbed the chance of retreating from his talk with Buck. He had run out of words, but still he didn’t know how to end the conversation. Cody’s sudden appearance was like a godsend for him.

“Thought I told you to stack those grain sacks,” he said dryly and Cody took a step back.

“Well, I was coming to that,” he said.

“After you finished fishing or whatever you did when you sneaked out of here?” Teaspoon asked and grabbed the boy by the arm. “Why don’t you and I head over to the store room and you can show me how much you’ve done.”

Cody’s sigh was audible even to Buck and, despite his somewhat turbulent emotional state, he smiled. However the smile died on his lips as soon as Teaspoon and Cody had left the barn. Making his way over to the hay, he sank down on a bale to contemplate his situation.