“We usually go here when we have a break or need to cool down,” Buck replied with a shrug as he placed the brake in position.

Rawnie climbed down and looked around the small pond and the shadowing trees surrounding it.

“I can see why,” she stated and turned to face Buck. “Thanks for taking me.”

“You said you needed to get away?” The statement was more like a question.

“Sorry,” Rawnie muttered and looked away. “I just needed to get away. I thought I was going to die from boredom at the station.”

Buck was just about to tell her she could have helped with the chores, but wisely held his tongue. He had seen Rawnie upset before and had no wish repeating the experience. He wasn’t even sure why he had agreed to take her away from the station. They talked on occasion, on everyday things, like the weather and such, but they had never really taken any steps towards friendship, and even less something more romantic.

He felt unsure of what Rawnie really wanted and part of him told him to keep as far away as possible from the girl. Yet something kept him from turning her away. Ike had interpreted this to him liking Rawnie. He had even cornered him with the question and when Buck had hesitated for a second, Ike had simply smiled broadly at him and left. Buck knew Ike was sure he liked Rawnie, but he himself wasn’t so sure. She was stubborn and there were things about her that really irritated him, and yet…He shook his head at his own confusing thoughts. She was just a friend, that’s all. Buck walked up to her.

Rawnie was looking around and frowned at the scenery before her.

“Never knew there could be a place like that here. I always figured the plains were more…you know…dry.”

Buck shook his head softly at her lack of knowledge. “The plains are dry only during the dry season,” he explained. “In spring it can be covered with flowers.”

“Flowers? You’re kidding right?”

“No. My mother used to pick them and then dry them. She used to place a small bag of dried flowers in the tepee during winter and…”

Buck abruptly stopped talking. He hadn’t intended to tell her about his family, but somehow it had just slipped out.

“That sounds nice,” Rawnie admitted and glanced at him.

His face was turned away from her and suddenly she felt sad. It had all started out as a game, but now she really wanted him as a friend. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about him, that oddly enough, reminded her of herself. A tensed silence settled between them, and Rawnie felt obligated to break it.

“My mother only cared for flowers if they were expensive,” she stated unemotionally. “A friend of hers had an herb garden. I used to sneak into it in the mornings just to smell those herbs.” She smiled at the memory. “She had a row of lavender and I used to brush my hands through it.” Then she frowned.
“Silly, isn’t. I used to think it would help me through the day.”

“It doesn’t sound silly,” Buck said.
“Well it was.” There hadn’t been anything that could have saved her from the harsh reality of the brothel her mother had worked at.

They continued to walk in silence until Buck indicated a small grass covered hill shadowed by some trees. Walking up, they sat down. They had a nice view of the pond and the plains behind it. Silence settled again between them. Rawnie picked up a grass straw and stared chewing on it. At the sight Buck couldn’t help to smile.

“What?” Rawnie said defensively.

“There’s no doubt you being Teaspoon’s niece,” he grinned. “You’ve got his habits.”

Rawnie held up the grass straw and looked at it as if she noticed it for the first time. She frowned and threw it away.

Buck stared in shock at her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked tentatively.

“Nothing,” Rawnie replied although everything about her posture told Buck otherwise.

“You and Teaspoon don’t get along?” he tried carefully. Even as he spoke the words he felt how ridiculous they sounded. Teaspoon had his full respect and trust. That he could have turned his back on his own family didn’t exist in Buck’s world.

“You’re kidding? He can’t stand me,” Rawnie spat.

“That’s not Teaspoon,” Buck said defensively.

“Really? Then you tell me why he wanted to have me sent away.”

“I don’t know,” Buck admitted. “Maybe you misunderstood him. Teaspoon wouldn’t give up on his family.”

“Maybe not you, his adopted family,” Rawnie said bitterly. “I’m not so sure about his real family, though.”

Buck shook his head. “Teaspoon’s not like that.”

“Well, his brother had no problem leaving a pregnant woman,” Rawnie said matter-of-factly. “And he abandoned his own brother – he said it himself. And how many wives has he had? Six? How many of them were abandoned do you think? I wouldn’t be so sure he wouldn’t abandon you eventually if I was you.”

For a few seconds Buck was speechless. He disliked her for talking about Teaspoon the way she did, and yet there was a bit of bitter truth to her words he couldn’t ignore. He didn’t want to hear it. It took time for him to trust somebody. He had been let down too many times, but when he finally allowed himself to feel confidence in another, few things would break his loyalty.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said finally. “Teaspoon earned my trust and it will take more than an angry girl to change my mind.”

“Suit yourself,” Rawnie replied carelessly. Buck looked at her.

“You never knew your father?” he asked.

“Nope. Your precious Teaspoon’s brother ran as far as he could when he realized there was a child on the way.”

“Then how did you know about Teaspoon?”
“When he was seeing my mother, he apparently kept talking about his big brother and all their adventures. She repeated them for me. Constantly telling me I had a rich father out there.”

“Rich?”

“He lied about that too, obviously.”

“If you think they’re so loathsome, why did you look Teaspoon up?” Buck asked with a frown.

“He’s all I got left. Figured it couldn’t do me any harm looking him up. Not that it matters now. Guess I’ll be on my way in a few days.”

“Do you want to go?”

Rawnie shrugged. Part of her wanted to tell him that she really wanted to stay, that all she had been saying was a lie. All she cared about was for Teaspoon to care about her as he cared about the riders. She would even settle for having him yelling at her. But then it was not for her, so why would talking about it help?

“If you don’t want to go, you should tell him…,” Buck tried.

“It’s all been arranged, Buck. Besides I know when I’m not wanted.”

“I think you’re overreacting,” Buck said gently.

“Been there before.” Rawnie shrugged and turned to him. “You never felt unwanted here?”

Now it was Buck’s turn to avert his eyes. “Once,” he admitted.

“What happened?”

“The Kiowa raided the way stations and I was scared the others would get in trouble over me.”

“And they made you feel unwelcome,” Rawnie observed.

“It wasn’t their fault,” Buck defended his friends. “It was my decision to leave.”

“What did Teaspoon do?”

“He tried to talk me out of it.”

“He told you to stay?”

Buck shook his head. “He said I had a family at the station, but he respected my decision.”

Rawnie frowned. “You’re saying you left? Then what are you doing here?”

“My brother told me to return.”

“You went back to the Kiowa? And your brother sent you back?”

Buck nodded. “My heart belonged here. If you try, maybe your heart will tell you where you belong too.”

Rawnie laughed a heartless laugh. “Well, I ain’t got a brother to help me out, so I guess I’m a lost case.” Then she looked a bit jealously at Buck. “You’re lucky. You got a family here, and one among the Kiowa.” She rose. “You don’t know what it’s like to be alone.”

Before Buck could response she looked out over the plains. “Guess it’s time we got back,” she stated and headed down the hill.

Buck rose and followed her, unsure of what to say. He had felt lonely most of his life, but somehow he wasn’t sure Rawnie would believe him.