A SECRET SHARED
A SECRET SHAREDby
Disclaimer: The characters and early scenes are creations of Ed Spielman. They are used for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: With the new category of "what if" stories popping up, I thought I would throw my hat in the ring. The question has been posed on some message boards before..."What if another rider found out Lou was a girl instead of Kid?" This "what if" addresses that issue. If this story is similar to another, I apologize - sometimes the show and fan fic get mixed up in my old brain. No ideas were taken on purpose!
Lou lay in Emma's frilly bed, half drunk from the whiskey and completely drugged from the laudanum Doc Horner had given her when he dug out the bullet from her side. The gunshot had apparently grazed the lower section of her lung and she'd broken some ribs when she fell off of Lightning.
If the physical pain wasn't enough, there was the anger, shame and embarrassment she felt about being discovered. She was lucid enough to want to take a knife to Cody's tongue and cut it out. Of all the boys to discover her secret, why did it have to be him? Louise felt terrible thinking it, but couldn't it have been Ike? Not all the boys understood his signing yet. Besides, she figured at least he wouldn't have told, since he knew the difficulties of being different. His differences were just more obvious than hers, apparently at least to Teaspoon and the others.
There was a knock at the door, and Lou nestled down in the comfortable bed, hiding her head with pillows and the quilt that covered her body. She didn't acknowledge the knock.. She didn't want to see a soul right now. She didn't want to see any of them, ever! Louise decided she'd made a huge mistake in thinking she could actually pull off her charade, and she'd just quit before Teaspoon had the chance to fire her and spare herself the humiliation. As soon as she was better, she'd just take Lightning and leave, without a word to any of the boys, except maybe Cody. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do, that low-down blabbermouth!
"Louise?" she heard Emma's voice call from outside the door.
Lou didn't make a peep. Maybe she'll think I'm sleepin' and go away!
"Lou, honey, Mr. Spoon and I need to talk to you," Emma said softly.
Oh, great! Not only was Emma out there but Teaspoon too! Lou was beginning to wish the outlaw's shot had killed her. She still didn't answer.
Not to be deterred, Emma opened the door softly. She could tell Lou was hiding by the way the young woman had piled pillows on her head and had the quilt up to her nose. "'C'mon, now, Lou. You know we all gotta talk this thing out."
"I ain't got nothin' to say," Lou finally said, barely audible. "Jus' leave me be! Please?"
Lou heard Emma cross the room and felt the stationmistress' body sit on the bed next to her. "Lou, I ain't cross with ya," Emma explained. "We just need to figure out what we're gonna do next."
Frustration suddenly got the better of her, and Louise grabbed and threw the pillows off her head, one hitting Teaspoon directly in the face. The stationmaster snatched it before it fell to the floor, a seemingly shocked expression on his face. Lou imagined that expression had been pasted on his face for some time now.
"What d' ya mean, what we're gonna do?" Lou spat, looking directly at Teaspoon. "You're gonna fire me, so just get it over with so I can get on with my nap!"
"You weren't nappin', Louise," Emma said gently.
Louise looked at her solemnly. "I wasn't?"
"No," Emma answered.
Now Louise felt guilty on top of everything else. Emma was obviously trying to help, and here she was, acting like a child. 'What d' ya wanna talk about, Emma?" Lou asked meekly.
Emma turned to Teaspoon. "Mr. Spoon, you wanna go first?"
"Me?" Teaspoon asked, surprise still apparent on his face and in his voice. If this hadn't been such a serious situation, Louise would have burst into hysterics at his demeanor.
"Yes, you," Emma said, irritation plain in her voice.
"Well, uh, Louise," Teaspoon emphasized the feminine form of her name, "You know the company's got rules 'bout girls, or lack of 'em to be more precise. You're a good rider, but I'm gonna hafta let ya go."
"I knew it!" Lou replied, crossing her arms in anger across her chest. "So what's there to talk about then, Emma?" she demanded.
"I know you don't got no other place to go, and I don't want to find you out on the street, or even worse," Emma explained. "You know those boys better than I do, and I think you know I got my hands full with 'em."
Lou looked at her and nodded.
"So me and Mr. Spoon decided that you could stay on, just not as a rider," Emma announced.
"Well, what 'm I gonna do then? I gotta make money, or I'll never get Theresa and Jeremiah outta the orphanage!" Lou wailed.
Emma's eyebrows shot up. So that was at least part of the reason she was here!
"You'll get paid, Louise. Just not for ridin'," Emma answered. "You can help me with the cookin' and the laundry, and Mr. Spoon here could use yer help with the horses, waterin' 'em, feedin' 'em, cleanin' their stalls."
"You mean I can stay?" Lou asked, the whiskey, laudanum, and her emotional state confusing her.
"Yes, you can stay," Emma proclaimed. "And you'll stay here in the house with me. As Louise, not Lou."
Lou managed a weak, bewildered looking smile. She had no other options. She'd just have to take Emma up on her offer and hope it worked out.
"I'm still gonna get Cody," she muttered softly.
Emma heard her comment and chuckled. This girl's sure got pluck! she thought.
