ALWAYS,
FOREVERALWAYS,
FOREVER
She thought she'd never experience this kind of pain again. She tried not to
think about it, she tried not to think that Kid, her Kid, had just run out to
help that pretty young lady who obviously meant and still means a lot for him.
She tried not to think about it, but she just couldn't help things from coming
up to her mind. All the awesome things they have done together, the way they
made love, the way he used to feel about her, the thousand times he told her
how much he loved her.
Now she sat on a bale of hay, motionless, with tears running free down her cheeks…
"Did he ever loved me?" she whispered to herself
"Did he ever meant all the words he said to me?"
She remembered the way things used to be before she joined the Pony Express
and before she met Kid. She used to be very suspicious with people, especially
with men. Kid was the only one who she could rely on, the only one to whom she
brought her problems, the only one who was able to see into her soul…
Suddenly, she saw Kid approaching the barn with Katy.
Instead of silently walking away, she decided to go and talk to him, as he was
brushing down his horse and nobody else was in sight.
"How'd it go?" she asked him rather shyly
Seeing he didn't answer her question, she paused and tried again
"What do you owe her, Kid?"
He turned his face to look at her with his deep blue eyes and said
"My life. After my mother died I needed to leave Virginia, I needed to
make my way somewhere else. Doritha gave me the money to pay off out debts."
He kept on brushing Katy
"You could always pay her back" Lou tried
"Well, it ain't that simple. I said I'd send for her" he answered,
hurt clear in his voice
"And you never did? Why not?" Lou asked
"I meant to, but I was 15 and things were rough. Before I knew it, time
passed and I could hardly remember what she looked like. About that time, her
family lost everything and she married Garth."
Lou felt the urge to help him out, to ease his pain and to comfort him, but
remembering the way he looked at Doritha and the way he talked about her, every
single word she wanted to say to him was completely frozen in her mouth.
"You couldn't help that" those were the only words she managed to
speak
"If I hadn't left like I did things'd be different. She wouldn't be in
trouble now"
Hearing these words, Lou felt her knees trembling and the pain was now bigger
than before.
"Kid…" she tried to say something, but Kid abruptly stopped her
"Lou, I know you're trying to help, but leave me alone, alright?"
he almost snapped at her
The pain that Lou was experiencing was out of control now.
"But it ain't your fault…" she lowered her eyes, not wanting
him to see her eyes swollen with tears
"And you ain't listenin', I told you to leave me alone!!!" he said
angrily.
Lou looked at him for a moment with terror and pain in her eyes
"O-Ok Kid, i-it's fine, just wanted to help you…" she said with
a trembling voice before running away towards the house.
"Lou! Lou, wait!!" Kid shouted after her
He felt terribly sorry for the way he spoke to her a few moments before and
it tore his heart to see the look she had in her eyes: a mixture of pain and
fear, the same one she had when she talked about Wicks. For a brief moment he
was sure she thought he was going to hit her or something, she had been afraid
of him.
As Kid was lost in his thoughts, Buck approached him
"You should go and talk to her, Kid" he said, putting a hand on his
friend's shoulder, "you owe her an explanation"
"I know, it's just that if I help Doritha, I'm not helping things out with
Lou and vice versa. I guess I have to choose who comes first…" Kid
said
"No Kid, you have to decide in which way you want to help both of them.
Even if you and Lou broke up, it is still very painful for her to see you with
another woman! And by talking to her the way you did, things are getting worse
I guess…"
"And what am I supposed to do? Turn down an old friend that helped me more
than once for a woman that turned down my marriage proposal twice??? You can't
expect me to do this!" Kid said with tears in his eyes
He obviously didn't mean all the things he said about Lou, he was still very
confused.
Buck looked at him for a second
"Go and talk to her. She needs you, Kid" he said before walking away.
Rachel saw the small female rider running towards the house and it was clear
that she was crying for some reason. As she heard Lou open the door, Rachel
made her way from the kitchen to the sitting room. Lou was sitting motionless
on the floor, head in her hands.
"Louise, what happened?" Rachel asked her
"He doesn't want anything do to with me anymore" Lou answered
"You know better than I do how much you mean to Kid, he's probably only
a bit nervous for what happened to Doritha" Rachel tried to comfort her
friend
"No Rachel", Lou said with a trembling voice, "he never talked
to me like that, even when he was mad at me for some reason. His eyes were so
full of anger…" she whispered
Rachel put her arms around Lou and started cradling her "Lou, don't worry,
I'm sure you and Kid will work things out, as you always did. He obviously didn't
mean a single word of what he said, he was just upset. Now try to calm down,
you'll see, everything is going to be just fine…" Rachel said as she
was wiping the tears away from Lou's face
"I wish you could be right" Lou said, as she slowly got up and walked
out of the house.
