Chapter Six

Cody and Lou awoke to a bright new day with heavy hearts. They both knew that Teaspoon or someone from the station would arrive some time today and they still had the unresolved feelings between them.

Maybe it was for the best, Lou thought to herself. She was so terrified of how Cody would react when she told him about Wicks. Terrified that he'd turn away from her or worse yet, blame her for what happened to her. She'd learned from Charlotte that the man blamed the woman for whatever happened to her, figured she was asking for it or somehow encouraged it. As a woman Charlotte knew that wasn't true, especially in Lou's case. She'd been victimized by a monster that liked to prey on innocents. But would Cody see it that way? Better to just keep her secret and not take that chance. If he'd blame her, the other boys would surely find out and if that happened she'd be forced to move on. She couldn't live with them knowing they blamed her for something so vile that wasn't her fault.

She looked over at Cody's cot, but he wasn't there. Must have been awfully hungry this morning after not eating the night before. She laughed harshly at the thought. That man and his stomach.

Her own stomach began to growl and she headed over to the restaurant, hoping that Cody was eating over at the hotel.

The moment she walked in, she was again greeted by Mr. Abernathy and his smile.

"Welcome back, Miss McCloud. I wasn't sure I'd see you again when you didn't come in with Mr. Cody earlier."

"Oh, um, I had some things to take care of so I told him to go on ahead of me. Is he still here?"

He sadly shook his head no. "You just missed him actually. He said he was headed over to talk to the doctor about something."

"Oh." Was her only reply.

"Well, let's get you some breakfast. Take a seat anywhere you like. Bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy sound good to you?"

"Sounds lovely." She took a seat at her and Cody's table. Not only was it out of the way, but it reminded her of him and the good time they had that night. The night he gave her the ring.

The ring. She still wore it. Looking down at it, she wondered what she should do with it. She twirled it around her finger, dreaming about how different her life would have been if Simon Wicks had never found her. She would be free to marry Cody and when they made love he would be her first.

She mentally shook herself, telling herself, 'You can't change the past, Louise. You're stuck with the cards life's dealt you. It's up to you to make the best of it.'

Her food arrived in short order and she dug in, hungrier than she thought. Once again when she tried to pay the bill, Mr. Abernathy refused and she thanked him for his generosity. Before she left, he told her he had offered Cody a job as the new sheriff but that he had refused. He wondered if she could talk him into it. She said she would try and headed back to the sheriff's office.

When she arrived back, Cody had the doctor locked up in her cell. "Cody, what's going on?"

"You were right not to trust him, Lou. He's Edna's brother and he killed Sheriff Jackson."

"What?"

"It's the truth." The doctor told her. "He deserved to die, forcing my sister to care for his ill-bred daughter. She refused to wear dresses! It was a sin the way she dressed and it's a sin the way you dress, little missy. God will get you for your bad ways. You'll see, come Judgment Day you'll be cast out, sent to Hell."

When Cody would have come to her defense, Lou marched over to the cell madder than a hornet. "Let me tell you something, doc! There's nothing wrong with the way I dress and there was nothing wrong with Glennis. You're as crazy as your sister was!" But when she turned away from him and started to walk away, he reached through the cell bars and snagged her gun from its holster.

Furious at being taken off guard and fearing she had played right into the doctor's hands, Lou berated herself six ways to Sunday. But instead of aiming the gun at either one of them and demanding to be released, the doctor held the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

Stunned by the turn of events, Lou sank down onto the desk. Cody put a comforting arm on her shoulder and she let him do it. Taking what little comfort she could from him. After a few moments she announced, "Guess I better go get the undertaker. He's been hiding out in the saloon again, drinking himself into oblivion. Now I think I know why." And she left.

On her way back from the saloon, she briefly wished she could just drink herself away. But she'd seen too much of that in the brothel with the working girls. They drank until there was nothing left of themselves. Just a shell of a person to be used and then discarded. She'd made a vow to herself all those years ago that no matter how bad her life got she would refuse to turn to the drink. And so far she'd kept to that promise. She wasn't about to give in and break it now.

Instead she decided to stop in the mercantile and say good-bye to Mildred.

Mildred could clearly see something was wrong with the young woman, but once she heard the story of what had transpired with the doctor she mistakenly took that to be the source of her distress. Lou said nothing to dissuade her of the thought. She hated lying to the woman, but she most certainly didn't want to explain her problems with Cody.

When she was about to leave, Lou noticed a new dime novel on the counter and bought it for Cody. It could be sort of a peace offering between the two of them. A silent acknowledgement that they could return to being 'just friends' when they got home.

Lou wearily walked through the sheriff's door and began helping Cody to clean up the mess the doctor had left. The undertaker had already been there and removed the body.

As they worked, Lou said, "I got you something Cody. I left it on the desk. It's the latest dime novel from D. W. Williams. Thought you might like it."

When he thanked her, she just shrugged. "Wasn't nothing."

"Lou."

"Cody"

They said at the same time.

"You go first." He told her.

"What I wanted to say is I think we ought to go back to the way we were before we came here. That is…I mean…oh, hell, this isn't coming out right. It'd be best if we were just friends again, Cody. I'm sorry if I led you on, it's just…"

"You didn't lead me on, Lou. I thought what we were feeling was mutual, but I guess I was wrong. Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake twice." His expression hardening against her.

After some minutes had passed, she quietly told him, "I don't want you to leave the station, Cody. If anyone leaves it should be me, not you."

"I don't want you to leave either, Lou." He choked back a sob, but held himself in check.

"Alright, then I won't. But the moment it gets too hard on you, tell me and I'll leave. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."

"I told you I don't want you to leave. You have just as much a right to stay as I do. We'll just go back to being friends. Alright?"

"Alright." She softly replied. She didn't think her heart could break anymore, but with his simple acknowledgement that the romantic side of their relationship was over, her heart felt as if it had shattered into tiny pieces.

She began to frantically scrub at the floor, trying to scrub away her hurt more than anything.

After a few minutes, she felt someone shaking her shoulder.

"Lou. Lou."

When she finally looked up, she saw Cody looking at her with concern.

"Lou, we're done. It's clean."

She looked down at where she had been scrubbing and it almost sparkled.

Confusion marred her face. She must have completely lost track of time and what she was doing.

She let Cody help her up and for a brief moment their eyes met. She saw the anguish in his eyes but he quickly replaced it with a stony appearance. 'The Jimmy look', she was beginning to think of it as in her mind.

He had seen the pain in her eyes, but he quickly steeled himself against it. Knowing that where they went from here all depended upon her. But she had made it clear she wanted to go back to being just friends. So he had to let her go. She had given him no other choice.

They packed up their gear and went to the livery to get their horses. They headed out of town toward Sweetwater a few minutes later.