Chapter One

For once, Cody was at a loss for words. He had so much he wanted to say to her, so much on his mind that he just couldn't put into words. Even if he could find the words, finding the right opportunity when it was just the two of them was nigh too impossible. There were always other riders around, rides to be made, chores to be done. It made having a social life difficult for one of the most handsome Express riders around…make that the most handsome Express rider.

'Sorry, boys, but with William F. Cody around everyone else is just second fiddle.' Cody thought to himself, grinning from ear to ear.

Just as he caught a glimpse of himself in the small mirror hanging lopsided on the wall, the apple of his eye walked into the bunkhouse…along with Buck and Jimmy.

Not being able to resist, Buck teased Cody about looking at himself in the mirror, yet again.

Jimmy snickered at Buck's jab at Cody, but Lou just smiled…not at the joke, but at Cody, himself.

Lately, Lou had been having feelings for the blonde-haired rider. She saw a gentleness in him that the others just simply didn't see.

She had once talked to Emma about Cody and her growing feelings for him as more than just a fellow rider and Emma agreed there was more to Cody than met the eye. The older woman advised Lou to take things slowly with him because he really was a sensitive person underneath his outward appearance and having Cody hurt was the last thing Emma had wanted to see.

Rachel had advised the same to Lou when she saw the feelings between the two riders.

Cody knew that if he ever could confess his feelings for the petite Express rider and she felt the same as he, they could have something very special together.

Whenever he looked at her, really looked at her, he felt he could see into her soul and saw his future in her eyes.

Of course knowing this and admitting it to himself was one thing, but gathering up the courage within him to actually say something to Lou about it was a totally different matter. He knew he had a penchant for messing things up once in awhile…yes, he could admit that much, but only to himself. And this was just too important to him and to Lou for him to mess it up.

Maybe he should ask Teaspoon for some fatherly advice. After all, he had been married six times, so he must have a vast knowledge of women, Cody reasoned.

Cody found his opportunity to talk with Teaspoon later that same day. The stationmaster was in the middle of checking some of the equipment in the tackroom when Cody approached him.

"Teaspoon, you got a minute?" He said seriously.

Teaspoon was instantly aware something was amiss if his most jovial rider had such a serious tone in his voice.

"Sure, son. Anything wrong?" He asked.

"Naw. Just girl problems."

Teaspoon inwardly groaned. Everytime he turned around Cody was having girl trouble. The boy just didn't know when to stop. He had more girls on his mind than a body could count. But seeing how he really didn't want to tend to the task before him, Teaspoon was more than willing to make time for the boy and listen to his problems.

"So, is it Abigail Abernathy that's got you all tied in knots this time or has some other young lady wormed her way into your heart?"

"Teaspoon, Lou is so much more than Abigail ever was to me." Cody rambled out in a rush.

"Ah, so it's Lou we're talkin' 'bout." He said with an arched eyebrow.

Cody instantly cringed, realizing his mistake of letting the cat out of the bag as to 'who' it was he was talking about.

Scratching his chin, Teaspoon pondered the situation. Come to think of it, he had noticed something brewing between his two best riders. A match between the two could be explosive with Lou's temper and Cody's instant attraction to the fairer sex. He wasn't sure the blonde rider had it in him to be attached to only one female at a time…at least for any length of time.

Ever since Teaspoon had discovered Lou was a girl a few months ago, deep down his fatherly instinct had kicked in at that moment leaving him with the difficult task of wanting to protect her, but unable to let it show overly much. Knowing Lou's temper and her need not to be treated any differently than the other boys, made it difficult for Teaspoon. But it was a duty he refused to shirk. Protecting his 'daughter' was one of his top priorities.

Other the other hand, Cody was like a son to him and deserved his own happiness. And the way he had been going about finding a mate thus far left much to be desired. In the time since he'd become a 'father' to these ragtag boys…and girl…he'd seen Cody become attached to so many girls that Cody reminded him of himself at that age. And not willing to have Lou become just another notch in Cody's love life, he was more than a little wary to encourage Cody's latest infatuation.

And yet, this was the first time Cody had ever asked his advice with such seriousness. Maybe there was more to this than just another quick infatuation. And after all, he had noticed Lou's growing interest in Cody as well.

At one time, Teaspoon believed there was something going on between her and the Kid, but they seemed to be little more than just friends now.

Teaspoon also knew that if the boy could ever settle down, it would be for life. He saw how Cody was with the other boys and Lou and knew he would lay down his life to protect the others if the situation warranted it. He had a strong sense of family with his fellow Express riders and nothing anyone could say or do would change that. So he knew if his feelings for Lou were indeed true and not just a passing fancy, Lou would be one lucky lady to have such a devoted suitor.

Feeling himself between a rock and a hard place - wanting to protect his 'daughter' from the womanizer-in-the-making and yet wanting to see his 'son' happy, Teaspoon decided the time for some important questions had come. Pressing his rider further, Teaspoon asked, "So exactly how is between the two of you? Does she know how you feel for her?"

"That's just it, Teaspoon, I can't get up the nerve to even talk to her about it. She's too important to me and I don't want to screw it up by talking to her."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Teaspoon saw Lou was indeed more than just another girl to Cody, and felt maybe the time had come for Cody to settle down with just one girl. But still he proceeded as if he were walking on eggshells. This subject was just too touchy for Teaspoon and he wanted to give the right advice. Never had he felt so unknowledgeable. Sure he'd been married six times, but he felt he didn't know anymore about women than he did when he was Cody's age.

Putting a comforting arm around Cody, Teaspoon said, "Son, sometimes all the advice in the world won't be able to give you the courage you need to approach a problem, but if you truly feel for Lou what I think you do then it'd be a great loss to both of you to just do nothing and run the risk of letting her slip away."

"I know, Teaspoon. That's why this is so important to me. What am I supposed to do? What if I confess my feelings to her and she doesn't feel the same way? What if she only thinks of me as just another rider?" Cody asked, growing concerned.

"Cody, nothing in this world is certain, 'cept true love. And therein lies the problem. You have feelings for her, but you're not sure how she feels about you. You can go on having feelings for her and never let her know, but you'll surely lose her that way. Or you can come clean with her, get it all out in the open, and see what she says. Now before you interrupt me, listen to this one last thing…I know it's gonna be hard, but I think you owe it to yourself and to Lou to at least let her know how ya' feel. It wouldn't be fair to either one of you to keep this locked up inside and let it eat away at ya', son. Just find the right opportunity to let her know when no one else is around, when you won't be interrupted. If'n ya' want, I can rearrange some of the runs. But that's the best I can do, son, the rest is up to you."

"Alright, Teaspoon. I'd appreciate it. Would it be askin' too much if the next special run you had, you could send us together?"

"That'd be fine. But I've gotta warn ya', Cody, you do anything to hurt that little gal and you'll have me to answer to. Not to mention Jimmy, Buck, Ike…"

"Alright, alright. I get it Teaspoon. But that ain't my plan at all. Hurtin' her is the last thing I wanna do. If I ever hurt her it'll be my heart that will be breakin', not just hers.

Satisfied that Cody meant what he said and that his work was done, for now, Teaspoon clapped the boy on the back and headed off towards Rachel's for a bite to eat.

Two days later, Cody and Lou were asked to ride over to Lone Tree to help out the sheriff. He was short of deputies because the he had earlier sent them out in a posse to track down the outlaws that had robbed the bank the week before.

As they were getting ready to mount up, Teaspoon pulled Cody aside and told him, "I know this probably isn't exactly what you had in mind for your chance to talk to Lou, but it should be easy work. All ya' gotta do is hold the town in check while the sheriff goes out to find his deputies. Since the bank's been wiped out, there shouldn't be any more robberies any time soon. Word has it Lone Tree's a pretty quiet town, shouldn't have much ta' do. But you just remember, son, what I said about hurting that girl." And with that, Teaspoon let him go.

The ride to Lone Tree was slow going because Cody took every opportunity that was afforded them to water the horses and work up the courage he needed to talk to Lou. Should he do it on the way to Lone Tree or should he wait until they settled in as the new deputies? But then what if he waited and then something happened and their services were actually needed in Lone Tree? Then he'd never get a chance to talk to her.

Because of the frequent stops Cody was insisting they make, Lou had begun to realize there was something on Cody's mind. He seemed too preoccupied on this ride compared to the other rides they had shared. Daring not to hope too much that this might be the time he brought up the feelings he had for her, Lou took matters into her own hands. At the next stop she decided to make it into a small picnic, even if all they had to eat was hardtack and jerky.

The location they stopped at was perfect, a small copse of trees stood in the distance and a large willow stood alone next to the pond, making it the perfect spot to lay out the blanket and still go undetected by the world around them.

When she dismounted and began releasing her bedroll from the back of Lightning, Cody wondered at her actions and asked what she was doing.

"You'll see." Was her only reply and she gave him a saucy grin.

She opened the bedroll and laid it out under the willow and began taking the meager rations out her saddlebag.

Realizing she planned on a picnic, Cody's hopes soared, but he managed to tap them down remembering Teaspoon's warning that Lou wasn't like all the other girls and not to hurt her or he'd have the whole bunkhouse coming down on him.

Unsure of what he should do, he took care of the horses and waited for her…any sign from her of what to do next. Maybe letting her take the lead and seeing where it took them was the way for him to go…at least that way he wouldn't run the risk of taking things too fast and hurting her.

When she was all situated with the picnic she called Cody over. The first few minutes were met with silence, neither one of them knowing what to say to each other. But soon the silence was broken by Lou…or broken by the sound of her gun going off.

Three feet in front of her lay the motionless rattlesnake that only moments before threatened to interrupt their peaceful picnic. Realizing in that moment that Lou could readily take care of herself, Cody released a sigh of relief. It was as if the heavens had opened and given him a sign, as surely as if Lou herself had said everything would be alright. She could handle anything life threw her way with or without someone beside her. But wouldn't it be nice to be that someone standing next to her whenever life threw its curves?

At a loss for words, all Cody could think of to say was, "Sure was some good shootin' there, Lou."

"Thanks, Cody." She said as she re-holstered her gun. "Cody?"

"Um?"

"Cody, look at me."

He turned and looked at her.

"I get the feeling there's something you've been wantin' to tell me ever since we left the station."

Squirming in his boots, Cody didn't know what to do. Then a little voice inside told him, 'It's now or never'.

"Since you brought it up…" And he trailed off.

"Yeah. So spit it out already. We've been ridin' for hours now, you musta had time to figure it out."

"Figure what out?"

"What you wanted to tell me, silly."

"Oh." Was all he could say.

"So are you gonna tell me or should we get back on our horses and head on into Lone Tree?"

"No."

"No, what, Cody? You're sure acting awful strange. You sure you're feelin' alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He pulled at the collar of his shirt, feeling it close in on him. "About what I wanted to tell you. I'm not sure…"

"Cody, it can't be that bad." She teased him. But when she looked into his eyes, she wasn't so sure. She gulped. "It isn't bad is it?"

"No, no. Nothing like that."

Lou sighed in relief. For a minute there she wasn't sure what was going on with him, but it wasn't long before Cody revealed what he'd been holding back all this time.

"I care for ya', Lou."

"I know ya' do, Cody. I care for you, too."

"No, Lou. I mean I really care for ya'. Like a man cares for a woman."

"Oh." It was Lou's turn to be at a loss for words. "You mean…"

"Yeah. Lou, is there a chance you could feel the same way for me? I mean I understand you may not right away, but…"

"Yes, Cody."

"What?"

"I said, yes. I feel the same way about you, too. I just didn't think anything would ever come of it with all your other girlfriends around." She teased.

"About that. Lou, the way I've felt about all those other girls don't hold a candle to how I feel about you."

Lou felt flattered, but still wondered if he really knew what he was feeling was different or not. Too many times she'd seen him come home saying he was in love with some girl or another only to have him change his mind a week later, falling in love with someone else. She didn't want to become just another one of his 'loves', she wanted to be the one love to end all others. But with Cody, she just wasn't sure he was capable of something like that.

"But Cody, how can I be sure of that? Everytime a new girl comes into town you announce to the world you're in love. What's so different this time? What makes me so different from all the others?" Lou pleaded with him, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer, afraid maybe there was no answer because she wasn't any different from all the others and she refused to give her heart to someone like that.

"Lou, you are different. I can't explain it. It's just…different…in here." And he placed her hand over his heart. He looked deep into her eyes with a pleading look, daring her not to believe him.

When she looked into his eyes the intensity she saw in them startled her. In his eyes she saw all the love he had for her and it scared her. It was as if she could see into his soul. See into the future, her future and his…together.

"Cody, I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll give me a chance, give us a chance." Cody waited, unknowingly holding his breath in anticipation.

She answered him by leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek. When she began to pull back, he leaned toward her and captured her lips with his. And the kiss was felt all the way to her toes.

How could a simple kiss, their first kiss, touch her so deeply?

"Did you feel that?" She asked him breathlessly.

"Yeah, I did. Gosh, Lou, I knew you were different, but I never realized…I mean…Can we try that again?" He asked, awe laced in his voice.

She nodded and leaned in for another kiss. Their second kiss left them even more breathless than their first.

"I had no idea it could be like this." Cody admitted to her.

She tweaked his nose with her finger and teased, "Then you're right, I must be different." She curled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them, and smiled at him.

Following her lead, he smiled back. "I told ya'."

"Yes, you did. I guess I just couldn't quite believe it." She admitted.

"Well believe it 'cause it's true." Turning serious, he said to her, "Lou, you've gotta know I'd never do anything to hurt you."

She nodded. "I know, Cody. I know."

"Do you think we could give it a try? I mean, do you think there could be anything between us, a future?"

She gave a small laugh and said, "If the kisses are any indication I'd say damn straight."

They both had a little laugh at her candor. But soon the laughter turned into something more and they both leaned in for their third, but-no-less-toe-tingling-than-the-last, kiss. As the kiss deepened and seemed to take on a life of its own, Lou moaned and Cody abruptly pulled away.

"Lou, we should stop before this turns into something neither one of us is ready for."

"Cody, I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"No, Lou, you don't understand. We're moving way too fast and if you really thought about it you'd realize it, too."

Sobering up she finally realized he was right. "I know. It's just…I've never felt this way before. It's like coming to the end of a journey or beginning a new one. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah, it does. I feel the same about you. After all the searching and all the other girls…" Cody's face reddened when he realized what he was saying.

"Cody, it's alright. It's not like it's a big secret, you and the other girls. I know there have been others before me and I'm alright with that." She confessed.

"No, Lou, you don't understand. There were no other girls, at least not in the way you think."

She looked at him sharply and finally realized what he was talking about. "Cody, you mean you've never been with another girl before?"

He shook his head.

"But Cody, there were so many. Not once did you bed one of them?" Lou surprised herself at the boldness of her question, but all of a sudden it seemed very important to her that she find out.

"No. It just never felt right. I wasn't going to do something like that unless it was with the right girl and she never came along…until now. But I'm sure not going to mess it up by jumping into something like that right off and I'm certainly not going to do it outside like this…at least not for our first time." He grinned outrageously at her. "When the time comes, and that time will come I'm sure of it, we'll be man and wife, in a nice comfortable hotel room on the biggest, softest feather mattress you've ever seen."

Lou giggled with delight at the thought. And then realized he had all but said he was going to marry her. She liked the idea. Mrs. Louise Cody. It had a nice ring to it.

She was still taken aback by the fact that Cody had never 'been' with anyone else before. She had jumped to the conclusion he was 'experienced' just because he had been in the company of so many other girls. She had even overheard the boys one day taking bets on how long it would be before Cody would become a father and all the time he had been an innocent.

She smiled at the thought of Cody being innocent in the ways of a man and woman, thrilled that when they did make love she would be his first. She suddenly frowned inwardly. If only he could have been her first. If only her innocence hadn't been stolen from her against her will. She worried what would happen the day she would tell Cody about Simon Wicks and his treachery. She was so afraid he would turn away from her and he'd be lost to her forever.

Noting the frown marring her features, Cody prodded, "Lou? Honey, what is it?"

She smiled at his endearment. Not wanting to spoil their day by bringing up Simon Wicks she lied and said, "I'm just thinking we probably need to be heading into Lone Tree before the sheriff sends the posse after us."

Not quite believing that's what put the frown on her face, he rose with her and began to put her things back into the saddlebags.

Still wondering at what was on her mind, but knowing with Lou it would do no good to push her into telling you what was wrong until she was good and ready to tell you, he let the matter drop. Although a nagging feeling in the back of his mind wouldn't leave him. He just hoped he hadn't been too forward in his talk with her. And did he actually say they'd be man and wife? Geez, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off.

"Lou, listen, I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't. I don't want to see you sad. If I said or did something wrong, would you be honest and tell me?"

"Cody, it's not you at all. It's me. I guess I'm just tired from all this riding."

Not buying that excuse for a second, Cody instantly knew something was wrong. She was their best rider and nothing could slow her down when she put her mind to it. He vowed to himself to find out what was really bothering her before they returned to Sweetwater…if she'd let him.