Alter Ego

by C.C.

Chapter 5

Joe found a secluded area close enough to the to the way station to keep a close eye on it, waiting to see the Kid mount up. He didn’t have a ride yesterday,
spending most of the day doing chores with the others. Joe cringed at the thought of hard work, deciding a long time ago that he was finished with hard work.
He’d hate having to pitch in, but he’d have to for a few days, anyway.

He was relieved as he saw Kid emerge from the barn, the paint horse saddled. Lou approached him and he watched them exchange a few brief words before hearing “Rider Up” ring out from the blonde women standing on the porch. Kid quickly kissed Lou tenderly and expertly mounted Katy, kicking her into a full gallop as the mochilla was passed to him from Noah. Yeah, kiss her goodbye brother, it’s the last time you will, Joe thought evilly.

“Have a safe ride Kid” Noah hollered as Kid disappeared into the countryside.

“Be careful” Lou spoke mostly to herself, but Noah chuckled, it was Lou’s turn to worry now. Kid had visibly gained a few of the years back he had lost
worrying about Lou on her runs since she had given up riding a few weeks ago, but now it was her turn to age before everyone’s eyes. She sighed, knowing what was going through Noah’s mind.

Joe mounted his horse quickly, careful not to make noise close to the station, but as soon as he was out of sight he kicked his horse into high gear, catching the Kid quickly.

Kid heard the fast approaching horse, which startled him. This wasn’t close to Indian country and he wasn’t carrying anything particularly important. Damn, he thought quickly, probably just some greenhorn thinkin’ I got somethin‘ valuable. He urged Katy on, trying to outrun the approaching rider but he could tell the horse and rider were closing in on him. He decided to pull to a stop, try to explain he wasn’t carrying anything and hope his assailant would believe him and ride on, however as he slowed suddenly he felt a blow to his head, then all was blank.

Slowly opening his eyes he tried to move and realized he was unable to move a muscle. What the hell......he thought as he noticed he was tied to the bed and had
kerchief stuck in his mouth. His eyes widened as he remembered being hit in the head by someone, someone he never saw. What in the hell did anybody want with him?

He heard the door to the darkened and obviously long-ago abandoned cabin creak open. Squinting as the sunlight poured in, he struggled to see his abductor. Well I must not have been out for long if it’s still light he thought.

Closing the cabin door the man, about Kid’s size began to approach the bed, the sunlight unable to penetrate the thick blankets hanging over the cabin’s small windows Kid couldn’t make out any facial features, wondering if he knew his attacker. With his back to the Kid the man struck a match and lit the lantern, turning slowly the flickering flame revealing his features, Kid gasped, he was looking directly into his own eyes.

The shock evident, Joe laughed derisively “Yeah I know” he stated with a snort “believe me I was just as shocked the first time I saw you too....now if you’ll promise to be nice and quiet I’ll take that gag out of your mouth.”

Kid nodded, needing to ask questions, wanting to know so much, too many thoughts swirling around in his mind and his head ached from the blow he had received.

“What in the hell is going on here?” Kid questioned harshly, unable to find his normally calm, cool and collected self.

“Seems you and me....well seems we’re twins, yep....separated by some poor twist of fate - you...you got to keep ma...and I ...well I.....”

“Whoa....Whoa...just wait a damn minute..what the hell do you mean....twins? Ma never said anything about twins, it was just me and Jed.” He eyed his identical
image warily.

“Seems you’re mistaken Kid...or John I guess I should say.”

Kid continued to look at the man before him, puzzlement evident. He really was the exact replica of himself, even sounded just like him he thought. Well if he is my brother, my twin for God sakes, why the hell does he have me tied up and why the hell did he knock me out? He was slowly trying to assimilate this new found discovery as the man unfolded a piece of paper.

“Can ya read?......oh wait a minute...’course you can, I’m sure you had all the proper schoolin’ and all the proper unbringin’” his words dripping with sarcasm.

Kid read the letter quickly, feeling a stab of sadness seeing his mother’s handwriting, feeling what her life must have been like, how hard it must have been to give a child away and knowing that her life only got worse after that. He guiltily looked at the man, realizing from the letter that he was Joe, and he himself was John, never knowing his real name, he allowed himself to speak it out loud “John Jacobs” he almost whispered.

“What!” Joe questioned harshly.

“Nothin’” Kid was exasperated at Joe’s treatment of him.

“So if we are brothers, twin brothers, why the hell did you knock me out and kidnap me?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Well, it’s a long story brother, and because I don’t want to raise any suspicions you had better tell me how to get to the next way station, and what’s expected of me once I get there.”

Kid was becoming angry now, he was so confused and hated not being in control of the situation. “What are you talking about?” he questioned irritably.

“Just do as I say and that little lady of yours gets to keep her pretty face” he threatened.

Kid went numb at the thought of Joe touching Lou, she would think it was him. Oh my god, he thought about the implications.

“I will have no problems hurting that little girl, after I have a taste of her myself...that is unless you help me out here brother” his smile a mixture of amusement and hatred.

Kid knew he wasn’t in the place to argue right now, he’d tell Joe what he needed to then find a way out after he left. He needed some time.

So he gave Joe the necessary information. “I’ll be back tomorrow, putting a small amount of water in a ladle and holding it so Kid could drink “I need you alive” was all he said as he left the cabin. Kid’s mind filling with all kinds of images, not a rational thought in his head.

Joe mounted Katy and followed the directions Kid had given him. He noted the fear that had come over Kid as soon as he had threatened to hurt his precious
Louise. He’d get Kid to tell him everything, as long as he knew he’d have no problems hurting the girl. He didn’t really want to mess her up, but he would if he
had to...too much was at stake now, he could smell freedom and it was very intoxicating.

Chapter 6

Kid squirmed, his wrists bleeding as he pulled against the ropes to no avail, the knots to tight and the rope too thick. He sighed heavily wondering what this new
found sibling had in store. He was bitter, Kid remembered some of his hate-filled statements. If only you knew the hell me, Mama and Jed lived through Joe, you’d not be so jealous of me. You probably had it better than us, he thought sadly. Remembering his poor mother being beaten senseless at the hands of the man who had fathered them. Kid had refused to call him his father, no man that treated his family the way he did had a right to be called father. Yeah Joe...you were probably the lucky one, wish my name had been drawn outta that hat. After hours of struggling he finally drifted to a restless sleep.

Sometime the next morning, judging it to be fairly early Kid heard the familiar neighing of Katy as Joe dismounted and entered the cabin.“Well things went as planned Kid, you did a good job...now keep it up and Louise will remain pretty as a picture.” he continued to threaten.

Through clenched teeth Kid tried to hide his hatred for the man “Are you planning on fillin’ me in on what you’re up to?” He realized he had no choice but to try and find out as much as he could, and being hateful wouldn’t help.

“I don’t have long...don’t want to be late but I’ll find an excuse to get away tomorrow. I guess I owe you an explanation. Now, you best tell me everything I need to know not to raise any suspicions at the station...everything! You understand?” His voice menacing, his meaning clear.

Kid silently prayed that Lou would be able to tell the difference, yeah they looked exactly alike, but that’s where their similarities ended. Joe was harsh and evil, Kid knew Lou would easily pick up on his personality, he only hope she’d be able to figure out Joe wasn’t him, he knew that it was a long-shot. Why would she even think about the possibility of a twin. Damn, he thought about what Joe could do to her.

He told him everything he could think of about the station and the chores and schedules. Joe swearing that if any of the information he had given him raised anybody’s suspicions, he’d bring Louise to Kid...in a coffin!

Kid closed his eyes, trying to rid the picture of his beloved in a coffin. He wracked his brain, trying to be sure he told him everything.

“Cody, he only thinks about his stomach. His full name is William F. Cody, but only Rachel calls him Billy sometimes. He’s got a big ego, but usually just sticks his foot in his mouth when he talks, he won’t be hard to fool. Buck, now he’s quiet and doesn’t say much, but he’s very protective of his heritage, don’t say anything about him bein’ an Indian and you’ll be alright, he’ll be a little harder to fool...try and keep your distance.” Kid indicated that he needed a drink, Joe again filled the ladle and allowed him only a few sips.

“Now Jimmy....he’s a hot-head, but he’s my best friend. He’s got feeling’s for Lou, he don’t think I know it, but he’s alright with it now. We don’t talk about it though. Other than Lou though, he’ll be the hardest to fool. Just try and stay away from him if you can.”

“Noah...he’s a free black man. He’s sometimes bitter and I think feels a little threatened by me because I’m from the south, but I think deep down he knows I’m
his friend, he’s quiet too, he probably won’t be too hard to fool either, he don’t pay too close attention to anybody.”

“Rachel, she acts like a mother hen, no snide remarks about her body...she might expect it from Cody, maybe even Jimmy...but not from me. Just keep your distance from her too, she tries to stay out of our business but since Lou and I got engaged” he hesitated “well she tends to be a little more involved in our
business....like a women with a weddin’ to plan.”

“Teaspoon, well you just have to laugh at him and act like you take his advice. He’ll be easier to get along with if ya do, just do what he says - you should be fine with him.”

“Jesse, he’s got a mouth bigger that the state, careful round him, he’ll blurt anything out.”

“And Lou” his mind wandered, what do I tell him abut her.

“Don’t worry about Lou” Joe replied “I’ve watched the two of you together” he smirked turning the Kid’s stomach. “I’m sure I can handle her” he smiled menacingly.

Standing he stretched “well brother...I think you’ve given me enough to go on. I’ll see ya tomorrow, oh yeah” pausing as if just remembering something “I’ll
bring ya somethin’ to eat too!” he smiled congratulating himself on his thoughtfulness. Giving the Kid another small amount of water he once again left the cabin. Kid’s arms and legs aching from hours of immobility.

Several minutes had passed and Kid remembered in a panic. Oh No! I forgot to tell him how to greet Lou - she’ll be suspicious right away - he thought with a
sickening feeling beginning to envelope him and his worries consuming him.

Chapter 7

Joe galloped into the station, praying he could pass the mochilla with ease. He sighed heavily as Cody caught the pouch and pulled up on Katy’s reins. He watched as Louise approached him, “Hey you” her familiar greeting rolling off her tongue.

“Well hello beautiful” Joe eyed her closely, trying to read her expression, which was a little bewildered.

She was a little surprised at his greeting, she was so used to his very familiar “hey yourself” it startled her a little. She was trying to read him, something was definitely different. Discounting it almost immediately, she decided it must be wedding jitters. He dismounted Katy but didn’t take her into the usual bear hug he always greeted her with, he also didn’t speak to Katy as he usually did.

“Kid?” she questioned suspiciously, “what’s the matter?”

“Nothin’....why” he tried to act nonchalant, he should have realized she’d be the hardest to fool...it’s okay, he thought, I can do this. He looked at her, her face contorted with a worrying frown.

“Oh just a little trouble...someone hit me in the head. Probably thinking I had somethin’ worth takin’” he shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck.

Her eyes grew wide, “oh my god...are you okay?” she asked taking him into her arms and replacing his hands with hers began to massage the back of his neck. She peered into his eyes, trying to read him. The look he saw momentarily caught him off guard, she truly loved the man she thought ‘he’ was, wishing beyond rational thought that someone would love him like that <that bastard> he thought about Kid.

Lou saw sadness and hopelessness in the eyes she was peering into, they weren’t the same eyes she had become so accustomed to. Oh yes, they were Kid’s sparkling blue eyes, but they held something different right now, she didn’t see the undying love she usually saw when she looked at him. She began to fear that
maybe he was changing his mind about the wedding....maybe he discovered on this run that he didn’t love her after all.

The evening continued without incidence. A few uncomfortable situations easily explained by Joe as pre-marriage jitters. Lou silently wondered why he was all the sudden acting so nervous and jittery, he was always so sure and confident about the marriage, he would have married her long ago if she had accepted his first proposals. She was puzzled by his sudden attitude change.

The next day Joe told Lou he had some important errands to run, he’d be gone a while and she shouldn’t worry. Lou silently wondered what he was up to, she
smiled slyly to herself, hoping he was off to find something to surprise her with. Ever since the engagement, Kid usually came back from his runs with something that he had bought, sometimes just for her. Like the beautiful cameo he brought her last time, or sometimes something for their soon to be established home. A picture frame that would soon house their wedding picture, a beautiful set of candlesticks, a linen tablecloth. He hadn’t brought anything with him this last trip, she hadn’t really thought about much about it until now, maybe he was off to find something real special.

Kid struggled all night to stay awake, lack of food and water was beginning to control him now. Several times he would drift into a fitful sleep only to be awakened by a vision of Louise, wearing a wedding gown, walking the aisle of a small church. She was so beautiful, ready to pledge her life to him, as the view became clearer to him her face, that had been glistening with happiness turned to horror as she saw the man, the man who was standing in the place the groom should stand. As Kid focused on the man he involuntarily shuttered as his face came into view revealing eyes full of evil and a menacing smile. As Kid looked closer he could almost see the forked tongue and horns emerging from his head, this man looked like him, but clearly was not him. He awakened with a start and had to shake his head to rid his mind of the lingering images, not being able to understand what it all meant.

He thought he heard the sounds of an approaching horse, it didn’t take long until he recognized the distinctive sound of Katy, realizing finally that his twin brother had come as he said he would. Kid hoped desperately that he could reason with him.

Closing his eyes to protect them from the sun that flooded the darkened cabin as Joe entered, Joe thought Kid was sleeping. With a snort he removed the gag, “nice nap brother?” he asked sarcastically.

Kid’s throat was as dry as the desert and he couldn’t find his voice, he tried to clear his throat and Joe could hear the hoarseness. He casually walked to the bucket and dipped out a ladle full of old warm water and held it up to Kid’s mouth. He drank what he could awkwardly, most of the water dribbling down his chin, but it was enough to wet his lips and tongue, helping him to find his voice.

“So...do you mind explaining to me why you would want to kidnap and tie up your newly found twin brother” he questioned.....”I’m having a hard time figuring this one out....Joe.” Kid waited for Joe as he pulled a chair close to the bed and sat close to Kid’s head.

Chapter 8

“Well brother....it’s a long story and since you’re not going anywhere.... I guess I’ll start from the beginning” he laughed, turning the Kid’s stomach.

“You see, I wasn’t quite as lucky as you, I was.... I was passed from family to family,...mainly used for my muscles. I never knew anything but hard work growin’
up. I’d barely get enough food to live off of and then usually ended up sleepin’ with the animals.... Life was nothin’ but pure hell” his face becoming tense, “As soon as I was old enough to get away and take care of myself I ran...ran like hell” he laughed again. “Never looked back.” he paused, his eyes searching Kid’s face for his response, Kid showed no emotion.

“Well I decided then and there that life owed me something.... I wasn’t gonna work another day of my life. Oh, I’d get what I needed....I’d just take what I wanted, people who have money don’t have any idea what it’s like to be a young boy, alone and dead broke, but since no one offered to just hand me money
I figured I’d take it. I’d sign on and work with them for a little while, get to know their routines, after I found out what I needed to know I’d take their money
and whatever else I could get my hands on. Oh yeah....I was living the high-life, only working for a few days...then I’d find me a nice hotel...some real nice company” he laughed menacingly, “and live like a rich man. When the money ran out I’d move on and do it all over.” He paused, standing to stretch his legs. “Things were going real well...I had settled nicely into my new life style....then......”his face hardened and he clenched his jaw “then...., well no one.... I swear no one had ever told me no....” he ran a nervous hand through his sandy curls. “I just couldn’t stop myself.... I always got what I wanted.”

He was speaking to the air now, Kid felt like an invisible observer, Joe was not aware of his presence as the memories of that fateful night played in his mind.

“It was all her fault...if only she had given me what I wanted....all I really wanted was to be with a girl who didn’t have that dead look, be with a girl...who wasn’t all used up, one I didn’t have to pay for...... a nice girl, as they say” He began to pace as his fingers continued to rake through his hair, his eyes wide and bewildered.

“Well the little bitch decided right in the middle of a hot and heavy kiss that she wanted to stop.... well she should know a man can’t just stop...if she hadn’t fought, if she had just let me have my way...” he paused again, his eyes focusing on an image that Kid could not see, only begin to imagine.

“So what happened Joe” he asked cautiously, knowing the answer before he asked the question.

Slowly Joe turned his gaze back to Kid, almost startled at remembering he was there. His voice soft now “if only she hadn’t put up such a fight..... I had to do it, she just wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know what I was doing....then I heard it pop......”

“Did you kill her?” Kid’s voice raw with fear and disbelief.

“I.....I didn’t mean too....really I didn’t, I just felt her neck go pop.....but I knew nobody would believe that I didn’t mean......”

“Oh god” Kid whispered.

Joe’s face, which had softened some as he recounted his story once again became stone-cold. “How the hell was I supposed to know she was the damn sheriff’s
daughter!”

“Oh god” Kid whispered again.

Kid’s mind was reeling with images, trying to figure out how someone with his blood, that came from the same parents, same womb could be such a monster. Kid
rarely even yelled at a lady and his brother brutally raped and murdered a girl. He felt the bile rise into his throat and fought to keep it down, not wanting to reveal his repulsion, fearing Joe’s reaction.

Joe seemed to have pulled himself back together again as he sat back down and put his face only inches from Kids.

“Well the posse and Sheriff Wood chased me for days...then I found Sweetwater and you... and I knew then that my luck was changing....”

Kid looking at him, puzzled. “I don’t see what you’re saying....”

“Well....our resemblance is remarkable....don’t you think? I mean even your ‘nice’ girl didn’t know I wasn’t you” he grinned evilly. Kid’s stomach lurched, threatening once again to empty itself.

“You touch her you son-of-a-bitch.... and I’ll kill you...you hear?!” Kid yelled.

Joe just laughed....”oh now I don’t see how...I mean you ain’t exactly in any position to follow through on your threat. And I promise you that I will touch her...my chance to have a ‘nice’ girl...now you don’t think I’ll pass that chance up do ya?”

Kid had to close his eyes at the thought which made him physically sick. He realized that Joe was right, he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

“So” Joe continued “as soon as I’m sure your ‘family’ he emphasized sarcastically “believes that I’m you, I’ll lead good ole’ Sheriff Wood right to you...you can tell him the truth for all I care ...you know good and damn well he’ll never believe you. Oh yeah, you’ll hang for.....let me see, he pulled the wanted poster with the image of Kid on it from his pocket. Let me see, says here you’re wanted for rape, murder, robbery and horse thieving....wow! You’ll hang for sure!” Joe laughed loudly now, “and I’ll leave your sweetheart standin at the alter, head to California and find my gold. I just know now everything’s working out too good....I know the mother-lode is just waitin’ for me!”

Kid’s mind was numb, he couldn’t think straight, Joe’s plan would easily work, he knew that. The hopelessness threatened to envelope him, his despair becoming evident Joe again laughed at him “Oh brother...think about it like this. You owe me your life...you got the first 20 years and....I’ll take the last 20 or so!”

Kid finally began to form some thoughts and put words together trying to explain his life and the hell he, Jed and their mother lived through, pleading with Joe to believe him. Fear began to control him, not only the fear of his own death, but fear for Lou, this monster was capable of rape and murder.... could he...would he..... ? Kid knew that he and Lou promised after their last time together to not be intimate again until their wedding day, promising to not give in, under any circumstances. They had vowed to each other and Kid knew Lou wouldn’t give in...what if she says no... and ...” he couldn’t even think about it.

“So Kid....I’m off....” remembering that he had stuck a biscuit in his saddlebag he retrieved it and placed it on Kid’s chest, under his chin and gave him another sip of water. Turning to go he smiled “I’ll be back tomorrow....hopefully you and I can exchange some Louise stories.”