Alter Ego
Alter Ego © 2000
The sandy-haired man urged his horse on, having her gallop as fast as the wind;
the horse grunting, the rider’s breathing quick and erratic. He was finally
putting distance between himself and Sheriff’s Woods’ posse.
“Come on girl....not much longer, you can do it.” The horse seemed
to understand her rider’s request and dug deeply to give him all she had.
The sun was quickly
setting, he knew the posse would have to call it quits for the night soon, he
hoped he was nearing a town. He needed to find a place to stay tonight, it was
too
cold to camp out without a fire and he couldn’t risk lighting a fire and
chance the posse seeing it.
He looked over his shoulder and breathed easier, no posse, no dust, no signs at all of the men that had chased him for the last several days.
He slowed his horse to a trot as the small town came into view. His crystal
blue eyes scanned the horizon as he kicked his horse back into a gallop, toward
the
town and a warm, soft bed; maybe even the company of one of the local girls.
“Hey” she greeted him as he galloped into the station, he grinned
as he watched her approach him “hey yourself” he dismounted Katy -
his faithful horse -
and took Lou - his fiancé into his arms, kissing her tenderly.
“Good run?” she questioned him with interest.
“Nothin’ much, just the usual stuff....I’m hungry” his
hand unconsciously reached into his pocket to feel the two gold bands he had
picked up in Dixon on his way
back, smiling as he felt the metal, anticipating how it would look on her delicate
finger.
Jesse approaced the conversing couple, “hey Kid, want me to take care of Katy?”
“Thanks Jesse” he jestered his appreciation as he handed the reins
to the young boy. Lou smiled at him, causing his heart to flutter a little.
He knew Kid
and Lou were getting married and that she really was too old for him, but it
didn’t stop him from dreaming.
“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout the wedding Kid” she took
his hand as they approaced the bunkhouse. His smile stretched across his face
as she spoke, he couldn’t
wait until the wedding, until she was finally his. It had been a long rocky
road but she had accepted his proposal a few weeks ago in a graveyard in a the
small
town of Davenport. A young man had died to save Kid from a gang of outlaws,
they both realized after that, that what they shared shouldn’t be taken
for granted,
it was a real blessing to love and be loved.
After dealing with some fears and doubts that crept in even after she accepted
his proposal she had begun to get excited. Yes, life was changing, but that
was
ineviitable, she couldn’t think of any other way she’d rather spend
her future; Kid was sweet, caring and not to mention good-looking and very romantic.
She loved him more than she thought was possible.
“I think we should keep it small, maybe just us <the riders> and a few from town.”
“Lou” cupping her face in his hands “I don’t care if anybody other than you shows up” he kissed her again “and I mean it!”
She giggled at his sincerity, she knew that he really did mean it.
The table buzzed that night, the boys never letting up with their persistent
teasing. “So Kid, as far as I know she hasn’t even gotten her dress
yet” Jimmy
commented; “maybe she ain’t so sure she’s gonna go through with
it” he half-heartedly teased him.
“Jimmy, sounds like maybe wishful thinkin’ on your part” Kid
bantered back, he also spoke in half-truths. Both men loved her, but Lou had
given her whole heart
to Kid, she loved Jimmy, differently than the others, but not anything like
she loved Kid.
Her head swirled with all of the excitement and teasing “if ya’ll
will please excuse me I’m going to bed, I’ve got a big day tomorrow”
she smiled at Rachel
then turned her eyes toward her finance’ “Rachel and I are going shopping
tomorrow - so there Jimmy, I’m definitely going through with it, as you
so
romantically put it!”
They all stood as she stood; she couldn’t hide her smile. They had learned
to treat her like a lady, and she kind of liked it. She kissed Kid quickly,
drawing
a plethera of oohs and ahhs from the rowdy boys and turning Kid a shade of red.
The boys didn’t go any easier on Kid after she left, badgering him to
share a few of their ‘secrets’, knowing he wouldn’t, but they
all enjoyed making him
squirm.
The next morning Kid hitched the horses to the buckboard for the women. “Please
be careful Lou” he urged her as she mounted the buckboard.
“Kid it ain’t like we haven’t traveled alone before...”
“I know....but you didn’t always travel lookin’ like that...”
he indicated her female attire. “You know you and Rachel will attract more
attention than when
you dressed like a boy.”
She tousled his hair and kissed him deeply, “don’t worry Kid, we’ll be fine....see ya in a few days, I love you.”
Rachel approached the buckboard and Kid helped her climb up and sit next to
Lou. She gently snapped the reins and Kid watched until the ladies were out
of
sight, sighing heavily. What was he gonna do for a few days - he already missed
her.
<Sweetwater> he thought to himself. Seems like a nice enough little town.
He had slept comfortably in the bed above the saloon, the whore he had bought
left the
bed early in the morning.
He had several drinks before approaching her the night before, confused by
some of the snickering and comments, but his mind was fuzzy from the whiskey
and
all he wanted was to get laid. The girl looked surprised as he paid the bartender
the usual fee. She excitedly glanced around at the other girls, all eyeing her
jealously, wishing they had been the one chosen by the quiet pony express rider
to sow his wild oats before the wedding.
The sun crept through the thin curtains, causing him to stir, his head aching reminding him of his over-indulgence the night before. He lay in bed for a long while thinking about what he was going to do; where could he go. He didn’t know if Sheriff Wood was still pursuing him or not, he figured he’d probably not give up to easily, it was, after all the Sheriff’s own daughter he had attacked, hell he didn’t realize it. <Probably not one of your smarter moves Jacobs> he chastised himself for his stupidity.
He dressed and wandered out into the main street, watching closely for signs of the Sheriff and his posse. He was surprised at the friendliness of the town folk. They acknowledged him like they knew him, some addressing him and others, especially a few younger girls giggling as he looked at them. Walking past the general store he noticed the storekeeper sweeping the front porch. Thompkins looked up “Hey Kid - how’s the wedding plans?”
Joe turned to see who the storekeeper was addressing but no one was behind him, he gave the man a puzzled look.
Thompkins just shook his head, thinking Kid was too wrapped up in all the upcoming
events to hear him. He just waved him off as he returned to his task of
sweeping.
Several more people addressed him, a few calling him kid, he thought back to
last night. The girl he had bought seemed to be really surprised when he made
the
arrangements, she was bewildered, he seemed to recall her also calling him kid
- <maybe it’s a western thing>. He didn’t try and figure it
out last night, didn’t really care. He was only interested in getting what
he paid for.
He was wandering back to the hotel to gather his few belongings - this town
was beginning to give him the creeps. Too many people paying attention to him.
He
spied a group of boys heading into town, all going to the general store. His
mouth fell open as he eyed the sandy-haired, blue-eyed rider on the paint horse,
thinking quickly he ducked into the alley but continued to watch as the group
headed into the store. <Well I’ll be damned> he thought.
“Hey Thompkins” Cody addressed the older man.
“Boys” he acknowledged them, noticing Kid “Well Kid, you gonna
talk to me this time?” he questioned him wondering why and how he had changed
clothes so
quickly.
“Huh?” Kid responded, puzzled at his question.
“Earlier I asked you about the wedding plans...you just ignored me, figured you had a lot on your mind.”
“We just got in town Thompkins - I don’t know what you’re talkin’
about....but the plans are going just fine, in fact Lou and Rachel left earlier
to go buy
the dress” he couldn’t help the broad smile plastered to his face.
Thompkins looked at him questioningly then shrugged. Maybe he didn’t want the others to know he had been in town earlier, wasn’t any of his business anyway.
Joe continued to watch the one the store owner called Kid with fascination
- he was an exact replica of himself <lucky dog, he thought arrogantly>.
I wonder......he thought about the only piece of his past he kept with him,
a letter his mother had written, apparently when she had given him away, he
thought bitterly. As the rider’s finished their business and left town
he quickly returned to the hotel, digging deep into his saddle bag, finding
the
letter.
Dear Little Joe:
This is probably the hardest choice I’ve ever had to
make, but it must be done. Your father does not
provide for us anymore, there is just no way for me to
be able to feed three boys, Jed your older brother is
old enough to help out on the farm and I could not
bear to lose both of you. Twins, you both look so
much alike, how do I chose who to give up. It was so
hard, I really just had to put your names in a hat a
draw one.I am so very sorry, I pray that you were well taken
care of and that you can somehow find a way to forgive
me someday for what I have done.Love Always
Your Mother, Mary Jacobs
A menacing smile appeared on Joe’s face as a plan, a plan to finally experience freedom from running began to form.
Kid looked up from the fence mending he and Jimmy were in the middle of as
he heard the sounds of the approaching buckboard. His heart jumping at the
thought of her home, safe and sound. Jimmy noticed his gaze and sighed heavily
- “go on then , you ain’t gonna be any good to anyone but her now”
he
half-joked, not looking forward to fixing the fence alone.
“Thanks Jimmy” Kid glanced at him appreciatively “won’t
be long, I promise” he reassured him he’d not leave him to do all
the work “I ain’t Cody ya know” he
laughed as he hurried toward the returning girls.
Pulling the horses to a stop she smiled at him, her eyes aglow, fascinating him once again. “Hey” she laughed as she watched his gaze, filled with love and desire. “Hey yourself” he repeated their familiar greeting to each other, rarely, if ever could she remember them seeing each other after being apart that they didn’t tease each other with this greeting, it was just a kind of ‘between us’ thing. He reached up and wrapped his hands around her waist as she allowed him to lower her from the wagon, he intentionally held her close enough that her body slid down his body until her feet touched the earth, but he didn’t loosen his grip, instead leaned into her and kissed her, days of pent up desire expressed.
Lou returned the passionate kiss, temporarily forgetting their surroundings. Rachel cleared her throat and the pair reluctantly pulled apart. Kid turning a few shades of red. “Forgive me Rachel” he approached her to offer his assistance.
“Well, how do I get me one of them kind of greetings?” she teased as she took his hand climbing out of the buckboard.
“Not from my man” Lou possessively took Kid’s arm and eyed Rachel teasingly “guess you’ll have to get your own.”
Rachel laughed and reached into the wagon to retrieve some of the packages “Boy, did you buy the whole town?” Kid marveled at the number of packages.
“Well Kid, you know if I’m gonna have to be a women now guess I’ll
need to start dressing like one.” He lifted the larger box “oh no
you don’t” she quickly
grabbed the precious cargo from him “I’ll take care of that one.”
He smiled broadly, realizing he was holding the wedding gown, “can’t I have a peek” he pleaded already knowing the answer.
“Absolutely not, nothin’s gonna jinx this wedding, you’ll wait until I walk the aisle.”
He again smiled at her, his mind filling with the image of her walking toward him, dressed in white, ready to pledge her eternal vows of love and devotion.
“Kid....Kid...” she waved her hand in front of him, startling him from his daydream.
“Oh...sorry, just dreamin’” he grinned.
She giggled, loving the way she affected him, feeling deeply his love for her, he didn’t have to tell her, she just knew, could feel it as she hoped he could feel hers for him.
As they were placing the last of the purchases in Rachel’s spare room,
where Lou had been staying since the engagement Kid surprised her and took her
into his
lap, kissing her behind the ear. “How bout you and me go into town for
dinner tonight?” He whispered, causing her to break out in goose bumps.
“Really Kid” she smiled, excitedly “like courtin?”
“Yeah” he laughed, “like courtin.” His smile faded a little, “I hate we didn’t get to court proper Lou - we kind of did things backwards you know.”
Noticing his change of emotion she took his face in her hands and peered deeply into his eyes. “Don’t you ever feel bad Kid, it ain’t your fault. We couldn’t court - you know that. ‘Sides, I don’t care, all that matters is now, you and me are gonna be together forever, that’s what’s important.” She kissed him deeply. “And yes, I’d love to have dinner with you tonight.”
He sighed relieved by her comments, he knew the life they led didn’t afford them the opportunity to court properly, didn’t mean he didn’t regret it though. Well he’d make it up to her now, he’d be the best damn husband and father ever, he’d prove to her he was worthy of her.
“You finish helping Jimmy...I’ll unpack and put these things away then we’ll go.”
He rose to leave, his smile returning “love you”......
“I love you too Kid.”
Kid was amazed as she stepped onto the porch. He called on her like a suitor should, complete with flowers. She was dressed in one of her new dresses, pretty and elegant, but not too fancy. It was dark blue with a modest neckline which was lined with a white lace. She had pulled her now shoulder length hair up into a loose bun and accented it with a bow the same color as the dress. She smiled her beautiful smile and her eyes lit up as he presented her with the bouquet of daisies, laughing nervously...it had been a long time since she had felt nervous around him, but for some reason she had butterflies and felt giddy.
He only smiled at her and told her how beautiful she was, blushing at his compliment she took his outstretched arm and they climbed aboard the buckboard and headed into town. Sweet anticipation of a romantic evening for two in the air.
Joe had been spending most of the time holed up in his hotel room, hoping to
catch a glimpse of Kid, he needed to learn a little about his life before he
could begin to plot his course out. Seated by the window he spotted the couple
as they drove down the main road. Kid was beaming with pride as Lou held tightly
to his arm. She still wasn’t completely comfortable being a women in front
of all the town folk. Even though she found out after coming clean with the
truth that most of them suspected her masquerade anyway.
Joe smiled menacingly, she sure is a beauty - he whistled low, I’m sure gonna have my fun with her before it’s all over, he thought, his filthy mind igniting his arousal. Yeah, he was glad Kid was engaged, he didn’t often get to sleep with a ‘nice’ girl...he always had to pay for what he got. Then he wondered...maybe if she is such a ‘nice’ girl they don’t...... I’m not planning on actually marrying her..., well I’ll just follow the lovebirds around tonight, see just how close they really are.
Dinner was wonderful, Kid did notice that periodically he’d get a rude
look or a snide comment directed at him, especially from some of the ladies,
he couldn’t
understand what he had done to deserve that kind of treatment from them, but
looking at Louise caused him to forget all about them, she was all that mattered
to
him.
After dinner they walked the street, arm in arm. It felt so good to be a couple Lou thought. I loved riding for the express and I know I’m gonna miss it, but this..this is the way my life is supposed to be, she sighed at her revelation.
Kid noticed her sigh “what is it?”
“Oh nothing” she stopped and looked up at him as they reached the end of the town “just thinking how perfect you are for me.....how right we are together.”
He didn’t say anything, just telling her with his eyes that he felt exactly
the same and leaning in to kiss her, the kiss becoming more and more passionate,
both
forgetting they were in public.
Joe hid behind the last building and watched intently. He smiled as he watched
the kiss grow in intensity. Well, looks like brother there just might be rollin’
in the hay with the little lady - by the looks of that kiss anyway, he smiled
to himself.
They reluctantly broke the kiss, realizing where they were. “Come on Lou
- let’s get outta here” he grabbed her hand and they almost ran to
the livery to retrieve
the buckboard.
Kid pulled the buckboard to a halt as they neared their favorite place. It was a small cove Kid had used frequently before he and Lou had become intimate as a place to get away and think, but it had quickly become their get away - many passionate nights between the couple had taken place here.
Lou briefly thought about protesting as she read his mind...they had agreed
to refrain from being intimate before the wedding, but right now she wanted
him;
they’d talk about their pact later. She wordlessly allowed him to pull
her to the fallen log, the soft grass at it’s base serving the role of
a soft feather bed. He gently took her into his arms after starting a small
fire and nuzzled her cheek....”oh Lou, you are everything to me” his
statement breaking down all of her resistances.
“Kid” she whispered, as her hands wandered to free him of his shirt,
her need to touch his skin taking control.
Kid began to unfasten the tiny buttons down the back of her dress. As they expertly undressed each other they whispered endearments and promised their love and devotion to each other.
Joe noticed the empty buckboard, realizing what this most likely meant he crept
through the woods, leaving his horse far away. He noticed the small fire burning
and with the help of the moonlight could easily make out the two figures by
the fire. The kiss passionate, hands roaming, undressing each other. He gasped
as
Kid released Lou from her dress, exposing her nakedness. Joe could tell that
this was familiar territory to him, though you wouldn’t consider her blessed
in the ‘womanly’ department, her body was perfect and he envied Kid
at that moment. Wondering what it would be like to be with a women that obviously
wanted you as much as you wanted her, he sighed realizing he’d probably
never know. The closest he could hope for was when he’d have her...she’d
think he was Kid, that would have to do.
The two lover’s fell into the very familiar rhythm of pleasuring each other, it wasn’t long before they lay in each other’s embrace, sweating but extremely satisfied. Nuzzling his neck she kissed him as she chastised him “Kid...you know we promised we’d not do that” she kissed him again “until after the wedding” she smiled at his silent chuckle.
“Mmmmm...sorry sweetheart, you’re right, won’t let it happen
again” he laughed as she continued to suckle his neck - sure to leave evidence
of her lust in the
form of tiny bruises.
“Two more weeks Lou - I can’t wait!” He turned to face her -
“Lou... I don’t even know where to begin to tell you just how excited
I get thinking about you
being my wife.... I can’t wait to run into someone we don’t know and
to say ‘this is my wife Louise’....or to stay in a hotel room and
sign the register Mr. and
Mrs.......he stopped abruptly, realizing he had opened a can of worms.
She arched her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for him to finish his statement. Sighing as his silence continued.....”Kid, are you going to tell me your name...it might be nice if I knew what my name was gonna be” she teased.
She watched somberly as his mood began to swing “oh Lou...I don’t know, it stirs up so many bad memories....”
“Kid” she stroked his face lovingly “honey, it’s just a name - doesn’t make you who you are you know.”
He sighed deeply, “Jacobs....my last name is Jacobs....and Lou to be completely honest with you I don’t know what my real name is, been called Kid as long as I can remember.”
“Louise McCloud Jacobs” she smiled “I like the sound of it...and
it don’t really matter what your real name is...’cause you’ll
always be Kid to me!” She kissed
him affectionately “we’d better get back, they might send a posse
out looking for us” he held her tightly, reveling in the feel of her body
pressed to his, knowing that in only a very short two weeks it would be almost
a nightly occurrence.
Joe made his way back to the hotel, although aroused after watching the lovers
he refrained from buying a whore, realizing Kid didn’t do that sort of
thing, he didn’t want to cause a stir or raise any suspicions. Okay - so
he’s a pony express rider and getting married in two weeks. I can ride
and I only need a few days to see if I can pull it off. I’ll just keep
him tied up for a few days, make sure I can pull the switch off, then I’ll
send him to my death, he allowed himself to finally laugh at his good fortune.
Who’d have ever thought he’d finally catch a break. He realized now
that he truly hated his newly found brother, not only did he have all the benefits
of being raised by a loving ma, but he had managed to find true love; with a
perfect girl and seemed to even have found friends here that were more like
family. And all Joe had was a horse and a damn letter from the mother that must
have doted on Kid, he thought bitterly. No he wasn’t going to regret this
at all,
in fact it seemed this was the perfect consolation prize for the fact that his
life turned out this way just because it was his name pulled out of the hat.
Yes Kid deserved to die for the life that Joe had not been privileged to lead
due to the luck of the draw.
He lay down, his mind working on his plan, next run Kid went on would be his last and Joe’s first.
