Untitled Document

Penitence

By Karen (from a story idea given to me by Nesciri)

Prologue

Matthew Johnson sat on his horse looking over the Indian village as it spread out before him. He took a swig of the whiskey from his hip flask. As the warmth of the liquid flowed through his veins he thought back on the events in his life that had brought him here to this desolate place…

His father, Major Alexander Johnson, had been a hard demanding task master. The loss of his first born son when Matthew had been but a baby had turned him into a bitter man who could only find fault with the replacement. No matter how hard Matthew tried, he wasn’t as capable as Vincent had been.

Matthew had figured out quickly that his father didn’t care for him, but he had still tried to please him. In fact, he had even agreed to marry the cold, insensitive Catherine Blanchard of the Boston Blanchards because his father thought it would be a good move. Her father was an important man of politics, and Matthew needed someone important to help him if he was going to go anywhere with his career.

The marriage turned out about as well as everything else he’d attempted at his father’s bidding. After the birth of their son, Catherine had moved him into the guest bedroom and had nothing to do with him unless there was a needed public appearance.

He vividly remembered the time he’d spoken to his father about how unhappy he was. “Find yourself a mistress, boy. That’s what I did when your mother turned me out after Vincent’s death.”

Matthew had thought about the repercussions of this action; he felt fairly certain that Catherine wouldn’t take kindly to news if she found out. Despite his misgivings he’d given it a try only to be laughed at.

Matthew took another sip of his whiskey. He shifted his gaze from the village to the group of men behind him as they assembled and awaited further orders. He once more turned his mind back to the events that had brought him to this place; this hillside where he had to sit and wait for the general to make a decision and give him a message to relay. He hated his life and his lowly status that came about as a result of his following his father’s advice on women…

After he got over the humiliation of his attempt at finding a mistress, he’d decided to just go pay for it. He made up some excuse about needing to attend a meeting in another town and took his leave from his wife and child. He located the brothel rather easily, but as soon as he entered he knew this too was a mistake. The scantily clad, aggressive women had frightened him. He had left feeling ashamed of his inability to impress any woman – even ones who were paid to make you feel important.

Instead of ending up having an evening of enjoyable sex, he’d spent it in the dark corner of a bar making the acquaintance of a cheap bottle of whiskey. By the time he finished his second bottle, he’d made a decision of how to change his life. He’d gone home and told his wife he was leaving.

“I’m going out west,” he said. “I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do, but once I get established, I’ll send back money.”

She had simply stared at him a few seconds before saying, “I don’t need your money. Go and don’t worry about us.” She’d then taken her son into her arms and walked up the stairs to the nursery without a look back at Matthew.

He’d gone and cleaned up before going to his commanding officer to request a transfer to anyplace out west. “The farther away from here, the better,” he’d said in conclusion.

“Finally going to go make it on your own?” the officer had asked.

Matthew had simply nodded.

“Good for you. I really expected you to leave a lot sooner than this.” The older man quickly wrote a letter of introduction to go with the orders he gave him. Matthew had thanked him and left without another word to anyone.

He’d soon settled into his new post. At first, he had hopes that he’d do well and advance quickly. Then he could contact his wife and father to let them know how important he’d become. After a few months, he quickly realized that this wasn’t to be. He was still only a corporal, and that was only due to the fact that his father had gotten him that rank when he’d first entered the army. Of course, the fact that he hated the idea of combat didn’t help.

Taking another drag on the flask helped Matthew shake off the cold and the feeling of failure that had began to overtake him. He shook his shoulders to loosen them and turned his gaze back to the village. He wondered what was taking so long. It wasn’t like these people deserved this much consideration; they were so obviously inferior to the white man. Why didn’t the army just ride in and take what was wanted?

He heard a sound behind him and quickly placed the flask in his coat pocket. He turned to face his commanding officer. “Ready ?” he asked.

The man shook his head. “Need to talk to my second in command just a bit. Go ahead and get the men lined up, we’ll leave in just a bit.”

Matthew nodded. “Yes, Sir.” He turned and gave the command. As the men fell in, he once more let his mind wonder back…

The hatred of combat didn’t last long; he’d soon grown to have a taste for it. In fact, that’s what got him into trouble – he’d gone a little overboard on one scouting trip. In no time at all, his father had been there as if he’d been waiting in the next room for just such an occasion.

After the humiliation of his father’s reprimand of him in front of the other soldiers, Matthew had accepted a new assignment. It turned out that it was actually a demotion – he was now a courier for this crazy colonel who was trying to make peace with these heathens that roamed the desolate plains before him.

As the men fell into position, Matthew felt the effects of the whiskey. He was about to make a comment about the fact that it was unfair how well these clearly inferior people were being treated better than many of them, when the colonel came back. Fortunately, Matthew was able to control himself and keep his contempt from showing.

As they rode into the village, he spied her. She stood next to her husband who was a man of importance to these people – a chief of some kind. She looked so proud as she stood there with him and their son. The sight of the happy family made him even more bitter. He held back a scornful laugh as he tried to remember if he’d even held his child before leaving.

As they dismounted and settled into the bargaining area, Matthew studied the woman standing behind her husband and son. His hatred for her grew as he remembered how she had rebuffed him when he’d suggested that her being friendly with him could make things go more smoothly. The colonel had almost sent him back to the fort to pack and go home. It had taken three extra weeks to get past the insult and bring them back to the talks.

His anger continued to grow as the talks continued and she stood there looking so delicious. He decided that he would make her pay for all his misery. He’d show her who was better, who should be in charge, who was superior. He turned away from the group as he stood silently behind the colonel and took one more swallow from his flask – emptying it as he did so. When he looked back at the woman, he decided that as soon as he had a chance he’d make her pay – he’d crush her and in doing so, humiliate her entire family.

Chapter One

Corporal Matthew Johnson sat at his desk contemplating his sad existence. Today was his 45^th birthday, and no one had even mentioned it. He knew there was a party in his honor planned for this evening. His father had made sure he knew and that he was to be on his best behavior when he attended. He frowned at the thought of his father. Even at his age his father’s presence always seemed to reduce him to the insecure, young man he once was. He had matured since then; at least he thought he had.

“It’s supposed to be a surprise,” his father had said, “but I don’t want you showing up drunk and embarrassing me.”

Matthew had simply laughed. “You know I never touch the stuff,” he said. “I haven’t had a drink since you brought me back here, except the few glasses of wine you’ve made me consume at such parties as this one.”

He glared at his father before adding, “What time shall I make my entrance, and will Catherine and William be there? Have they been instructed as to how they are to behave? What about Cath’s latest conquest; has he been invited?”

The blow across his face had caused him to stop his ranting. He had dropped his gaze from his father’s hateful stare to the ground. “I’ll be there whenever you tell me to,” he said. “I’ll act surprised and accept the loving attention given me by my family.”

His father had nodded. “That’s better,” he said. “You’d do well to remember that William has a chance of becoming something in the army unless you mess things up for him.”

Matthew simply nodded. He opened the door for his father. “Thank you for dropping by, Sir.”

As his thoughts returned to the present, he glanced out the window of his office. He spied a young private who was supposedly on guard duty leaning against the wall reading a book. His anger at his situation had found a much needed release and he stormed across the yard of the fort to confront the young man.

“What do you think you are doing?” he asked.

The young man – a boy really – simply stared at him.

“You’re supposed to be watching for any danger,” Matthew reminded him.

“Sir,” the boy finally ventured. “We’re in the middle of town; no one is going to attack us here. It’s not like we’re out west where the Indians are causing trouble all the time. I mean…”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Matthew cut in. “You were assigned guard duty. That doesn’t mean come up here and read.” He held out his hand. “Give me the book and consider yourself lucky that I don’t have you thrown in the brig for dereliction of duty.”

The boy dutifully handed over the book, picked up his rifle, and turned his gaze out of the fort to the town surrounding it, trying to keep his obvious disappointment and scorn for his superior officer in check.

Matthew put the book in his pocket and made his way around the compound. He made a good show of inspecting the place before returning to his desk outside the commanding officer’s rooms. It wouldn’t do for the major’s chief of staff to be away from his desk in the need of an urgent correspondence.

As he settled back at the desk, Matthew pulled the dime novel he’d just confiscated out of his pocket. He threw it on the surface in front of him with a grunt of disgust. He took a deep breath and for the millionth time that day wished he hadn’t given up drinking after the incident so many years before with that ungrateful Indian woman.

Here he was turning 45, and what had he done with his life? What had become of his dreams? Not that he didn’t know – they had efficiently been buried out in the west, on that first assignment that he had hoped to be his salvation. There wasn’t a day gone by that he didn’t ponder how life could have been. As he let his disappointment at his life wash over him, Matthew’s gaze once more fell on the book in front of him. It had fallen open to the page the boy had been reading. Something on it caught Matthew’s attention. He picked up the book and read…

“One of my fellow riders is half Kiowa and has grown up among the plain’s Indians. He’s real good at tracking and although my own skill is not far behind, I must admit that he is useful on occasion. Of course, his tribesmen, especially his brother, a war-chief called Red Bear, pose a constant danger to us on our runs. It might be strange to allow an Indian to carry such important things as those the Express is trusted with, but Buck, as his name is, has left the tribe. He has told me in confidence that he was never really welcomed there, seeing as his mother was violated by a white man.”

Matthew let the book drop to the floor. He thought back to the woman he had so ruthlessly attack all those years ago. She’d had a son named Red Bear, and her husband had been some kind of chief – possibly the war chief. It couldn’t be. He carefully retrieved the book and turned back to the beginning. Reading there he learned that the writer was one William F. Cody. He rode for the Pony Express out of Sweetwater. He and his fellow riders were between the ages of 14 and 17.

Matthew once more let the book fall from his hands. He picked up the pad and pen he used for taking important correspondence from his boss. He figured out the year he’d first been sent back here, after his father had once more come to the rescue and salvaged his army career when he’d so stupidly forced himself on the wife of the Kiowa leader with whom the colonel had been holding talks. His actions had cost them the peace agreement, and if it weren’t for his father’s influence he would have been court-martialed and shot.

Matthew stared at the figure before him after he had computed the difference between the two dates – 16. It had been 16 years since his transgression, and this Buck person was somewhere around that age. It couldn’t be true, but still…what if fate had brought him an opportunity to change, maybe get something akin to dignity back in his life?

Matthew stood and made his way to the major’s office door. He knocked gently and waited. When he was granted permission, he opened the door. “Would it be permissible for me to go into town for a few minutes?” he asked. “I have some personal business that I need to tend to.”

The major had granted his permission. “Just don’t take too long,” he said. “I have some letters that need to go out and the express rider should be here shortly after lunch.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Matthew had said. He quickly made his way out the gate. Once in town he’d located the private investigator’s office with ease. This wasn’t the first time he’d done business with the man. He was only too aware of the fact that almost everyone in town knew Catherine shared her bed with men other than himself. He was also proud of the fact that most of those same people didn’t know that he knew exactly who all of these men were and had enough proof that would allow him to make some of them pay dearly. They also weren’t aware that he’d used the evidence to do just that.

“I have a new job for you,” Matthew said as he opened the door to the man’s office.

He briefly explained to the Jackson, the investigator, that he needed detailed information on a young Pony Express rider. True to his profession, Jackson, didn’t ask for what reason but merely noted the few facts that existed. His only objections were that it might be a waste of money as they had no idea whether the boy even existed. “Those dime novel authors have too much imagination,” were the words he used.

But Matthew knew better – there were too many facts that were true to be ignored. “I know he exists,” Matthew insisted. “I just need you to find him as quickly as possible.”

Jackson signed. “I’ll leave as soon as I can; I have a few things I need to take care of here first.”

Handing the man a small fee to cover travel expenses, Matthew thanked the man and then quickly went to the bank where he started the process of moving the funds he’d gained from his wife’s lovers to a trust fund for a yet to be determined beneficiary. He felt secure enough in his doings to ask that the fund be set up in the local bank in Sweetwater.

As Matthew left the bank, he had a new sensation – the feeling of doing something right for the first time in his life. He went back to the fort with a more determined step; he was going to make amends for his past mistake; hopefully it would make him a better person – one who could have the courage to break free from this horrible situation and start anew. He was so pleased with this new feeling and opportunity, that he was unaware of the fact that William had witnessed the whole exchange in the bank.

Chapter Two

That evening at his birthday party, Matthew was genuinely happy. It didn’t bother him that Catherine’s lasted conquest is indeed in attendance. He made a big show of being happily married to her, going so far as to kiss her in public – squarely on the lips for a little longer than she is comfortable with.

William took note of his father’s strange behavior. He caught his grandfather alone in the back corner of the study having a drink of brandy. “I need to ask a favor of you,” William said as he approached his mentor.

“You know I’d do anything for you, my boy,” the older man answered putting aside his glass.

“I need you to make arrangements for me to have a transfer,” the boy said. “But I’m not sure where it is I want to go just yet. I know it’s further west of here, but I’m still exploring the options.”

The older man nodded. “You want to get involved in the action, don’t you?”

William smiled at his grandfather. “If I want to make anything of myself, I need to see some combat,” he replied. “I’ve got some people looking into where the best place to see some action, but not any real danger would be.” He laughed quietly. “After all, it wouldn’t do me much good to get killed as I try to advance my position.”

Andrew clapped his hand down on William’s shoulder. “You make me proud, my boy. I’m so happy you’re not your father’s son.” He sighed. “I guess we should go back out to the party. It isn’t right for the two most important men in his life not to be there.”

William nodded. Now all he needed to do was find out where this unnamed person his father had suddenly taken an interest in was to be located. That would be easy enough; he knew who it was his father turned to when he needed information.

Early the next morning, William made his way to the offices of the other investigators in town. “I need you to find out what Jackson is looking for; he’s trying to locate someone of interest to my father and I need to know who and why as quickly as possible. I have a feeling that the old man is about to make a terrible mistake.”

The investigator nodded. “I can tell you part of that already,” he said. “Jackson came by here this morning to see if we knew anything about the Pony Express riders located out of Sweetwater. He was trying to avoid having to make the trip.”

“Did you tell him anything?” William asked.

“Didn’t have anything to tell him,” the man replied. “He knew more than I did; he actually had some names to go with the riders – William F. Cody, and Buck - didn’t have a last name for the Buck person.” He paused. “I think that’s who he was supposed to be finding out about. He didn’t really say, but I got the impression he was supposed to learn about the boy’s parents. He mumbled something about trust funds, and by-gones and, hating to travel.” He chuckled as he added, “I know he bought a ticket on the stage for this morning; you just missed him.”

William thanked the man and insisted on paying for the information. He then made his way to his grandfather’s home. “I need to be assigned close to Sweetwater,” he told him. “I think the name of the fort is…”

“Laramie,” his grandfather cut in. “Was stationed there myself of a brief time,” he paused. “Before your father’s indiscretion made me have to come back here to keep an eye on him.”

“Can you get me posted there?” William asked.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Andrew replied. “I’ll let you know over lunch.”

After this meeting with his grandfather, William made his way to the bank. He withdrew the last of this month’s measly allowance his father provided for him, and began chatting with the clerk. As he was preparing to leave, he turned and said, “Father asked me to see how things were going on that new account he set up yesterday. He knew he was rushing things, but it’s very important that it be done quickly.”

The clerk nodded. “Tell him the only thing the bank in Sweetwater needs is the name of the person he wants to have access to the funds. Everything else is set up as he requested.”

William thanked the man and left. He had been right in his suspicions that his father was establishing a trust fund for someone other than William. It must be this Buck person his father had recently taken an interest in. Now all he had to do was find out why the sudden interest, and put a stop to whatever it was his father had planned. As much as he hated the old man, that’s where his inheritance was going to come from because his mother had stupidly agreed to let the man handle the financial affairs of the family.

William made his way back to the fort where he was also posted. It gave him great satisfaction to know that the men there respected him more than they did Matthew. He took pleasure in listening to them laugh at the old man behind his back. In fact, if he played his cards right, he may be able to find out through the fort gossip exactly what was going on with his father now.

He went to the mess hall and located the man who had to share an office with Matthew. William sat down next to him and started talking about how things were so boring, and nothing ever happened here of interest. “Wouldn’t it be fun for a change to actually have something happen that required us to leave the confines of the town?” he asked.

The older man shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “I sort of like the quiet of this post. I’ve had my share of run-ins with the Indians before.”

William looked at him. “Oh, that’s right,” he said. “You were posted out west around the same time as Father.” He shook his head. “It must have been terrible. I mean Father refuses to talk about it.”

The man, who had a tendency to overindulge in his beer when off duty, took another swig of his drink and laughed. “I’m sure he doesn’t talk about it; must be about the lowest time of his life. Almost got us all killed he did after what he done.” He stopped speaking when he noticed Matthew enter the building.

William watched as his father made his way to where the enlisted men sat eating. He spoke quietly with one man who nodded his head and accepted a small amount of cash from Matthew.

William watched his father leave, and then turned back to the older man.

“What happened?” he asked with feigned concern. The older man just shook his head, but William subtly pressured him. Finally, with the promise of a few beers at the saloon later, the man told him. The information sent a chill down William’s spine and he could barely contain the disgust he felt. Thanking the man he then made his way over to the major’s office. He quietly made his way to the window on the wall opposite his father’s desk and peeked in. He was surprised when he saw his father settle into his chair and begin reading a worn dime novel entitled Life as a Member of the Pony Express. William tried to see who had written the book, but couldn’t. Deciding he needed to know what was going on in more detail, he entered the office.

“Morning Father,” he said as he approached the desk.

Matthew hastily put the book aside and looked up at his son. “What do you need, William?”

“I just came by to see how you were doing after the party last night. I couldn’t help but notice that you had an extra brandy before bed.”

Matthew nodded. “That I did,” he replied, “but there’s no need to worry; brandy has never had much of an effect on me.”

William returned the nod. As he did, he managed to get a better look at the book resting on the corner of the desk.

Matthew noticed his gaze and said. “I took it away from one of the guards yesterday afternoon. I was trying to find out what could possibly be so interesting as to make him shirk his duty.”

William once more nodded. “Have you figured it out yet?” he asked as he picked up the book and flipped through the pages.

“No,” said Matthew. “I haven’t been able to find the attraction myself. It’s mostly a lot of bragging by the author about how wonderful he is.”

William smiled. “I guess some people need to talk big about themselves to feel adequate in life.” As he spoke, his eyes fell on the same paragraph that had originally captured his father’s attention. Scanning the page, he began to realize why his father had taken a sudden interest – the old man thought he’d fathered a bastard child when he’d forced his attentions on that savage heathen. What William didn’t understand was why the crazy old fool was trying to give the mistake money instead of plotting how to make it disappear forever.

Tossing the book back onto the desk, he said, “Glad to know you’re doing alright.” He turned and left the room and made his way back to his grandfather’s home. He desperately needed to get that assignment in Sweetwater; he needed to find this person before his father did and gave away all his-William’s money.

William entered his grandfather’s study and was met with a hug. “Good news, my boy. You get to leave for Sweetwater first thing in the morning. You’re going to be the army liaison with the town.”

Chapter Three

Captain William Johnson rode slowly into the town. He’d already been to the fort and talked to his commanding officer. He’d done some smooth talking and managed to convince the man to let him stay in town during the week. “That way I can get to know the people, build up their trust,” he explained. “I heard there was a bit of difficulty with your last liaison.”

The Major had nodded. “Silly fool almost started an Indian war because he wouldn’t listen to anyone.” He carefully studied William, “You aren’t glory hungry, are you?”

William shook his head. “No, Sir. I just want to get a little experience out on the frontier before I go back east. I’m not looking for any fame or fortune; just to serve my country to the best of my ability.”

The older man nodded. “When you get to town, be sure to find the marshal. He’s a good man, name of Sam Cain.” He stopped speaking and thought for a bit before adding, “If anything happens that you think we need to know about, you talk to Sam first – not the mayor or the other old fogies in the town council.”

William nodded. “I’ll become the marshal’s new best friend.”

“Good idea,” the major had replied as he stood to show William out. “Report back to me at the end of the week, and we’ll see about more permanent living arrangements.”

William had made his way back to his horse and ridden the distance to Sweetwater at a good pace. He hadn’t wanted to waste any time finding the Buck person, but he knew he couldn’t go in asking questions – he needed to take it slow, not draw suspicion to himself. He especially needed to give no one reason to suspect him if and when anything happened to the boy if it turned out the heathen really was the result of his father’s rash actions years ago.

Ignoring the stares he received as he rode into town, William made his way to the marshal’s office. Once there, he dismounted and slowly made his way inside. “Evening,” he said as he stepped in the door.

Sam looked up from his desk. “Evening,” he replied, “I help you with something Captain?”

“I was looking for the marshal,” William said. “I was told to check in with him and introduce myself.”

“I’m the marshal,” Sam said, standing and moving towards the door.

“William Johnson,” William said as he offered Sam his hand. “I’m the new liaison officer between Fort Laramie and the town. I thought I’d stay at the hotel for a bit to get to know the people and let them get to know me.”

Sam shook the offered hand. “Not a bad idea,” he said. “The last fellow we had here almost go us all killed so your welcome might not be too warm at first.”

William nodded his understanding. “That’s what I heard before I was sent here. I think it’s important for the liaison officer to understand the town and its people before he tries to represent them to the army.”

“Let’s get you moved into the hotel then,” said Sam, “and I’ll start introducing you around.”

In no time at all, William had ingratiated himself into the lives of the town’s people. He was quickly becoming friends with all the leaders and businessmen. He could tell it wasn’t time to start asking questions about any body yet because some of the people were still talking about the investigator who had been there just a few days before asking everyone about Buck Cross.

William reported back to the fort at the end of the week. He convinced the major to let him continue to stay in town and report back every so often in order to continue to build trust. “I think they are really coming around,” he said.

“I guess it won’t hurt for you to stay there a couple of more weeks,” the major said. “But at some point in time, you’ll have to move in here.”

“Yes, Sir,” William had said. “I’ll see you again next week.”

That evening he was once more visiting with Sam when the local store owner came over. He waited until there was a break in the conversation before asking Sam if that investigator had talked to him yet.

“No,” said Sam. “What investigator? What’s he looking into?”

“Buck Cross,” Tompkins spat out, the hatred of the boy evident in the way he spoke. He took a deep breath and then added, “I always knew there was something wrong with that boy,” He then looked at William and said, “Course, no one listens to me. He’s one of those Express boys so he’s got to be good.”

Sam groaned. “I guess the fact that he went against his own half-brother to stop the Kiowa from attacking the town has nothing to do with the people thinking he might possibly be trustworthy.”

Tompkins simply shrugged. “If he’s so trustworthy how come we have private investigators from back east coming here asking all sorts of questions about him?”

It was Sam’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know,” he had to concede, “but I’m fairly certain it wasn’t because he’s done anything wrong else the man would have asked me to arrest him.”

Sam turned to William. “Tell you what,” he said, “I’ll talk to Emma and Teaspoon about you coming over to the station for dinner tomorrow evening. I guess it’s about time for you to meet our famous express riders.”

William accepted. “I’ve been meaning to make a trip out that way, but I can wait until tomorrow evening if you’ll be able to take me out and introduce me.”

Sam nodded. “See you about 4 tomorrow evening, just come by the office.”

The next day, William rode into the yard with Sam. He studied the layout of the place plotting a possible attack if needed. He quickly realized that any thing he was going to do would have to take place away from here. He’d have to spend some time learning about the routes these boys took when they left for a run.

As he dismounted, William spied some of the way station inhabitants. From the descriptions he’d been given in town, he quickly located Teaspoon, Emma, Lou, and Ike. He wasn’t sure about the others because they were too far away. He stayed by Sam until the others made their way over to the bunk house.

Upon entering the building, William was given the place of honor. “This is Teaspoon Hunter,” Sam said as he brought Teaspoon over to the table. “I’ll let him introduce the others.”

Teaspoon shook William’s hand. “Glad to hear we have an officer who is interested in getting to understand the town as well as the army,” he said. “Now, let me introduce ‘my boys.’ This first young man is Kid, the little scrawny one there is Lou, next to him is Jimmy, then Ike, then Buck, and finally Cody.” He paused and smiled at the lady in the back of the room. “And the lovely creature in the back there is Emma Shannon.”

William nodded at everyone. He forced himself to not study Buck any differently then he did the others; there was time enough for that later. He talked to all of them as soon learned that Ike didn’t talk. He learned that Cody really was the brash braggart his book made him seem; Kid was almost as quiet as Ike despite the fact that he could talk just fine; Lou had a secret that William would be more interested in if he wasn’t here for something else; Jimmy had a temper, and Buck was most definitely his father’s child.

He was left-handed, just like Matthew. He worried the inside of his lip when he was put on the spot and didn’t know how to – or possibly didn’t want to – answer a question. He looked so much like the old pictures of Matthew that William had studied when he was old enough to realize his father wasn’t dead – just not around. Before he’d taken his first bite of the delicious meal Emma had prepared in his honor, William had made a decision – Buck Cross must die.

Chapter Four

Matthew Johnson stood staring at the letter from Jackson:

I have found the person you were interested in locating. He does work for the pony express out of Sweetwater; his name is Buck Cross. It is possible that he is yours. Are you planning on arriving soon or should I give any additional information to William?

Matthew quickly went to the Major’s office. “Pardon me, Sir,” he said. “I need to check some of the files to finish this month’s report.”

The major waved him in.

Matthew went to the personal files and quickly and quietly located William’s folder. He glanced at the forms and learned that he had been sent to Fort Laramie as the army liaison between the fort and Sweetwater. “Damn,” Matthew whispered under his breath. He kept himself busy for a few more minutes before leaving the office.

He went by his desk and grabbed a small bag he kept there in case of emergency. He quickly dispatched a note to the private eye telling him that under no circumstances was he supposed to contact William, and that he’d be there as soon as possible and to keep an eye on the incoming stages.

He left the fort without telling anyone where he was going. He made one quick stop at the bank to give them the information they needed to complete setting up his trust fund and was given the papers he needed to give to the beneficiary to make everything official. “He just needs to take them to the bank in Sweetwater,” the teller told him. Matthew thanked the man. He then went by his father’s house.

“I just came by to tell you I’m leaving,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” Alexander asked.

“That’s none of your concern,” Matthew said. “Just know that I’m finally doing what I need to be doing to fix things and I’ll stay out of your life from now on, if you’ll stay out of mine.”

Alexander nodded. “Fine,” he said. “I take it you haven’t let the Major know of this hasty departure. Would you like me to take care of this, or shall I leave that to you?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Matthew said. “I just wanted to let you know first.”

He made his way back to the fort where he told the major that some family business had occurred in Sweetwater. “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to make it back.”

The major simply nodded. “Let me know if things don’t work so I can send you orders to the fort near there.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Matthew said. He gathered his few belongings and headed across town to the stage office. He was soon sitting on the west bound stage contemplating the changes he was about to bring to the life of his youngest son.

As soon as he stepped off the stage Jackson met him. “I have some bad news,” he said.

“What?”

“The boy,” Jackson said. “He’s missing; has been for about a week now. He didn’t make it back from the run he went on right after I sent you that message.” He paused briefly before saying, “Nobody knows where he is.”

Matthew stared at him. “What about the law?” he asked.

“No idea,” he said. “I haven’t poked around too much. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself or let William know I was here.”

Matthew digested the news. He nodded at Jackson. “Good,” he said. “I’ll go see what I can find out; you stay out of sight.”

Matthew made his way across the street to Sam’s office. He was surprised to see that no one seemed too upset at the prospect of a missing boy. He somehow managed to keep his temper in check as he entered the room. “I heard you had some difficulties here recently,” he said. “I was wondering if I could be of any assistance.”

“You any good at tracking ghosts?” Sam asked. As he waited for the answer, he wondered why this man was so interested – hadn’t he just gotten off the stage? And wasn’t that man he’d been talking to before he came to the office the investigator who’d been asking all the questions just before Buck vanished? Maybe I’ll need to have one of my deputies go talk to him and see exactly what he knows about Buck.

Matthew stared at him a few seconds before asking, “What?”

“I’ve had four different men try to follow the trail,” Sam explained turning his attention back to the man. “It just ends; vanishes into thin air. So how good are you at tracking ghosts?”

“At least I’d be tracking,” Matthew said. “Is it because the missing boy’s part Kiowa that you’re not out looking? Isn’t he good enough for your best effort?”

Sam stared at the man. “Look Corporal, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I do,” Matthew said. “You’re missing a pony express rider who just happens to be half-white; half-Kiowa and you’re sitting here in your office instead of looking for him out there. Why? Is it because of the circumstances of his birth? If I find him and kill him, is anyone going to care?” With that, he turned and stormed out of the office.

“What was all that about?” asked Teaspoon as he entered on the heels of Matthew’s exit.

“Not sure,” said Sam, “but I’d like to learn more about the corporal there. Got someone I can send on an errand?”

Teaspoon nodded. “Ike can go; might do him some good to have a job. He’s really worried, and sitting around ain’t making it any better.”

Sam agreed. “Tell him it might actually help us find Buck; this guy knows something he’s not telling us.”

Teaspoon left. He managed to “bump” into Matthew and strike up a conversation. After a few minutes he’d learned the name of Matthew’s last post and that William Johnson was his son. Shortly after Teaspoon took his leave of Matthew, Ike was on his way back to Johnson City and the fort there to find out all he could about the corporal who had just left there for Sweetwater.

Chapter Five

William watched as his father left Sam’s office and headed to the hotel. He followed closely yet quietly so as not to be seen. He wasn’t at all surprised when Matthew entered the hotel lobby and went to join Jackson at a table in the corner. William smiled to himself as he slipped out of the front door and made his way to the livery. Knowing his father as he did, William knew the older man would come in search of a horse in the hopes of locating the missing rider.

It took a little longer than he’d expected, but soon Matthew was at the livery looking for an animal. William contemplated confronting him, but decided to wait. He still hadn’t decided exactly what to do with the boy. At first he had planned on just shooting him and letting the others find his body, but then he thought it might be more entertaining to take him captive and see exactly how brave and honorable the heathen was. In the end, this is what he had done. Buck was now lying captive in a small underground cave not all that far away. It was off the beaten path enough so that he didn’t worry about accidental discovery, yet close enough for him to make trips there on a daily basis without drawing attention to his absence.

William let Matthew leave without showing himself. He then slipped back to his room and gathered a few supplies to take to his captive. He slowly made his way from his room to the livery once more. He prepared his horse and went to Sam’s office to see if there was any news, or if they wanted the fort to send any help. “I need to go make a report,” he explained.

Sam replied, “I don’t think I’m quite ready to have the army called in just yet. I know they might be able to help, but if this involves Buck’s people it may actually make things worse.”

William nodded. “You mean he’s still in contact with his village?” He looked slightly ashamed as he added, “Are you sure it’s such a wise idea to allow that?”

“Not like I have much control over who he talks to,” Sam said. “Besides, I don’t think he’s really in touch with them as much as he occasionally runs into someone he knows.” He paused and studied William closely. “I’m not sure I can explain it, but I’d trust Buck with my life. He’s not going to give away and army secrets to the Kiowa; of course, he’s not going to give any Kiowa secrets away to the army either.”

Sam stood with a sigh. “I’m glad I’m not him. I don’t think I could handle the balancing act his life requires.”

William shook Sam’s hand. “I think I understand,” he said. “I’ll leave any mention of his disappearance out of my report.” He went to his horse and mounted. He headed out in the direction of the fort. Once out of sight of the town and any watching eyes, he doubled back until he was headed in the opposite direction.

Soon he was hiding the mount in a small grove of trees that also secluded the cave entrance. Moving cautiously, William made his way through the opening to the relatively large room where Buck was being held. Before entering the room, William lit a lantern and held it in front of his face. The fact that the room was close to pitch black without the light aided in it hiding his identity from his captive.

When Buck heard something near the entrance of the cave, he tried to move until the wall of the room was at his back. He couldn’t see anything and he didn’t want whatever it was to be able to get behind him. He turned his head toward the sound only to have a blinding light pierce his eyes causing him to shut them and try to move even further away from the entrance.

Whoever it was didn’t speak, he just moved closer making sure the light kept Buck from being able to see anything other than his boots. Buck was beginning to hate seeing those boots with their perfect shine and ornate decoration at the top; he didn’t know how long he’d been here, but he knew shortly after arriving the boots were going to start kicking.

William took great pleasure in watching the younger man try to keep from being hit by his swift kicks. After making sure the boy wasn’t going to be well enough to try escaping, William drug him by his hair to a small puddle of brackish water. He dropped Buck face first into the water allowing him to drink before pulling him back near the entrance and tying him once more to the formation that rose out of the ground.

He tossed some food near the boy, not bothering to see if it was within reach and left with the knowledge that the breed would survive for one more night.

Buck waited until the footsteps faded and didn’t return for along time before trying to locate the food he knew was there. By the time he was able to find anything the food was usually cold and dirty, but Buck didn’t care; he was in need of sustenance.

After seeing Buck this time and knowing Matthew had made the trip across the country to locate him, William decided it was time to bring this all to an end. He’d overheard enough of the conversation between his father and Jackson to know the man had the papers with him to finalize the process of giving the no-good breed the money that rightfully belonged to William. As he retrieved his animal, William made a decision - he’d get Matthew and bring him here as soon as he got back to town.

He mounted his horse and headed back to Sweetwater. He made sure to go around the town instead of through it as he continued to the fort. He really did need to report in; it had been almost a month since his arrival and this would be his third trip back. The last thing he needed was someone from Fort Laramie coming in search for its liaison officer.

Upon his arrival at the fort, William was surprised when his commanding officer ordered that he stay there for the night. “I can’t talk to you at the moment, and I really need to hear your report,” was the only explanation he gave as he walked out the door. “Find a place to stay over at the officer’s quarters,” were his final words.

William watched him leave. He hoped this didn’t draw out too long; he needed to be in town to keep an eye on things and figure out how to keep Matthew from finalizing things at the bank. He needed to convince Matthew the thing to do was to rid the world of his mistake, not give it money.

The next morning, William gave his report and prepared to leave. As he started to go, the major stopped him. “You have any idea what is going on there?”

“Sir?” asked William.

“I know that something is going on in Sweetwater. There are too many people out searching the area, but not saying what they’re looking for. There are more officers coming in from your old post, and you’re always so interested in not being here. I’d like to know why?”

William froze. He couldn’t tell the man the truth, but he hadn’t prepared a lie. He finally said, “I think there’s a bit of trouble with one of the express riders, but I’m not sure of the details. I’ve been trying to get the marshal to fill me in, but he’s still worried that the army will rush in and make things worse.” He paused. “I don’t think it’s anything you need to worry about.”

The major studied the man standing before him. He didn’t know why it was, but he was sure this young man was hiding something. “Alright,” he said, “but you let me know as soon as you figure out what is going on. I don’t care if they want our help or not; I want to know why all those people are out here looking and accusing my men of trying to cause trouble.” He paused. “I think their exact words were, ‘What’s the big idea in taking him? He’s never done anything to hurt you.’“ He once more stopped speaking and thought for a while before adding, “At least tell me who ‘he’ is.”

William knew he had to give up that bit of information. He did his best to make it seem like he was guessing at the identity of the missing person. “I think it’s that half-breed rider; name of Buck Cross. I haven’t seen him around much lately, but then again if they’re out tracking he is the best they have so…” he let the sentence drop.

“That could be,” said the major. “If he’s involved, I could see why Sam wouldn’t want to get us involved just yet. Last time there was a bit of trouble with the Kiowa he stopped it no thanks to us.” He paused just briefly, “Find out for sure what’s going on, and then let Sam know that if Buck is missing, I’ll send him my best trackers and no one else.”

William nodded. “Yes, Sir.” He turned and left. He decided he needed to end this tonight. I’ll go get Father and take him to the cave, he thought. It will all end tonight. I’ll make sure of it.

Making a quick stop to check on Buck, William made it back to town just after noon. He went to let Sam know of the major’s offer. “I couldn’t avoid telling him,” William explained.

Sam nodded. “Thanks,” he said. “If we don’t find him soon, I may just take him up on it.”

William took his leave of Sam and went to the hotel. He quickly located Jackson and found out that his father was out once more looking. He got the man to tell him where, and in no time had located Matthew.

“I have something to show you,” William said. He didn’t wait, but rode off sure in the knowledge that his father would follow.

When they reached the cave, William lit the lantern. “After you,” he said pointing to the opening.

Matthew carefully entered the cave. He heard a scurrying in the far corner. “What is going on?” he asked William as his son entered behind him.

William simply raised the light so that it shone into the room. It lit the place so that every corner was filled with its brilliance. Huddled against the back wall was a dirty, frightened, young man.

“Behold your bastard son,” William said. “I found him and captured him for you so you could right that wrong from so many years ago. After all, he’s the result of your giving into your weakness that ruined your life and career.”

Matthew looked at the boy huddled in the corner. He moved closer only to have the boy kick out at him. “Why don’t you tell me what you want?” he asked. “I don’t have any money; neither do my friends.”

Matthew spoke softly, “I don’t want money,” he said. “I want…” he stopped speaking as William moved closer causing Buck to pull away.

“He wants to welcome you to the family,” he said. “Don’t you recognize him? He’s your father.”

Buck glared at the man in front of him. He still couldn’t see who was holding the light, but he could make out the man kneeling nearby. “I don’t have a father,” he said, “and I don’t need one now.”

Matthew drew back when Buck’s gaze fell on him – the look of hatred and disgust was like a physical blow to him. He couldn’t understand why the boy wasn’t more open to accepting his help. He stood and turned to face William. “What have you done to him?” he asked. “Why is he so angry?”

William laughed. “You really expected him to welcome you with open arms? You’re an even bigger fool than Grandfather thinks you are. Why would he want to have anything to do with you?”

Matthew just stared at William.

William took pleasure in the man’s pain. He moved slowly and pulled a pistol from his waist band. “Here,” he said, handing it to Matthew. “Take this and put him out of the misery that is his life; you’ve seen how much everyone misses him – they aren’t even looking anymore. They gave it one day and then stopped.” He laughed as he added, “Even his best friend left town without having found him. How happy can he be?”

Matthew didn’t move as he shifted his gaze from William to Buck and back again. William continued, “Just shoot him. It will put him out of his misery, and put you right with the world – you will have corrected the mistake you made so many years ago when you let his mother live after you forced yourself on her.”

Matthew accepted the gun and pointed it at Buck; he pulled back the hammer as he took aim.

Buck tried to move away from the man, but there was no where to go. He was up against the wall of the cave and he was tied to the rock formation that rose out of the cave floor. He wasn’t about to give either of them the satisfaction of seeing him beg, besides if what the bearer of the light said was true, he would be better off dead.

Matthew took a deep breath to steady his hand. He took aim and then realizing that he was about to rid the world of the wrong ‘mistake’ swung to face William.

William dropped the lantern and pulled his own weapon as soon as he saw the change in Matthew’s face. He discharged the weapon into Matthew’s chest. Before Matthew’s body hit the ground, William had let go with another round. This one hit Buck in the shoulder and drove him back onto the ground.

Buck heard the man at the entrance leaving. He fought with the darkness that tried to over take him. As he did so, he heard the man next to him trying to move, to speak. Not sure why he cared, Buck managed to pull himself closer to the dying man. “I…” the man whispered. “I’m sorry. I want to make,” he took a breath that rattled as he exhaled. “I just wanted to make amends.” With that he closed his eyes and died.

Chapter Six

Unaware of the drama behind him, William quickly left the cave and mounted his horse. He headed to town and arrived just as Ike and Teaspoon were leaving Sam’s office. Pushing past them with his best look of anguish William started speaking, “I…” William said sobbing as he spoke. “I’m so sorry.” He paused and glanced around the office. “I noticed that my father was in town when I came back from the fort. I followed him and…” he once more stopped and fought to compose himself.

“What is it?” Sam asked. “What happened?”

“He shot him,” William said. “I couldn’t stop him.”

“Shot who?” asked Teaspoon, moving back into the room.

“Buck,” William said. “He thought Buck might be his son, and he wanted to make sure no one ever found out.”

Sam looked at Ike. “That fits what you learned.” He turned his gaze back to William. “Can you show us where he is?”

William nodded. “I tried to stop him. I shot my father, but it was too late.”

Ike glanced at Teaspoon and started out the door. Sam was on his feet and after him in no time. “Let’s go,” he said. Teaspoon mounted the buck board he’d brought into town to pick up supplies. He’d stopped at Sam’s on his way to the store when he’d seen Ike riding in.

William took them to the cave. He was certain his nightmare was over until Ike came out of the cave waving his hands excitedly.

“Slow down, Son,” Teaspoon said.

*Buck’s alive,* Ike said. *He’s weak, but he’s still breathing.*

Teaspoon nodded. He turned to William. “Cut some of those branches and make a bed in the back of the wagon.”

“Why?” asked William.

“Buck’s alive,” Teaspoon explained. “I want to make it a little more comfortable for him.”

William nodded and started to cut some branches off the nearby trees. He quickly made a bed in the back of the buck board. He silently cursed his haste at not making sure he’d killed them both before he’d left. Maybe he’ll still die, he thought. He can’t be in too good of shape after what I’ve put him through over the last week and a half.

Soon Buck was settled into the back of the wagon, and Matthew’s body was tied across the back of Ike’s horse. Sam and William took the horse back into town. Once there William went about making arrangements for his father’s burial while Sam told the doctor to get out to Emma’s to check on Buck.

After making sure William wasn’t planning on leaving town too quickly, Sam headed out to the station to check on Buck.

After tending to the arrangements to get Matthew’s body back to Johnson City for burial, William quickly found Jackson. He learned from him that Matthew had not yet been to the bank. “He spent all his time out tracking,” Jackson said.

“I need you to tell the marshal that he came here looking for Buck to kill him,” William said.

“Why would I do that?” asked Jackson.

William pulled a wad of money from his pocket. “Because it would be financially beneficial to you,” he said.

Jackson nodded as he held out his hand. “Exactly what do you want me to tell him?”

William explained and then headed to the bank. Once there he told the manager that the money could be sent back to the bank in Johnson City because his father was dead and no longer in need of the funds. Since he had never given the manager the name of the person the account was for, the manager agreed to send it all back.

William went to his room and cleaned up. He then decided to go out to the station and check on things for himself. He forced himself to ride slowly; he didn’t want to appear too anxious. He also wasn’t sure of how much Buck really knew about what had happened, and he didn’t wish to be riding into a situation that could be dangerous.

When he entered the way station yard, William could tell that no one suspected him of any wrong doing. He went to where Teaspoon and the others sat on the porch outside the bunk house.

“You doing alright?” Teaspoon asked as William approached.

William nodded. “I made arrangements to send father home. I guess I’ll be leaving too,” he said. He paused briefly before asking, “Any news?”

Teaspoon shook his head. “Doc’s in with him now. He didn’t wake up at all on the way home.” It was his turn to pause. Finally he asked, “You have any idea if your father had someone helping him?”

William shrugged. “Why?” he ventured.

“As far as we know,” Teaspoon said, “Your father hasn’t been in town long enough to have been here when Buck went missing, and whoever took him must have been beating on him. He’s pretty messed up.”

William simply nodded. “He may possibly have come here earlier than we know,” he said. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know he was here and what he was doing. I thought I saw him a couple of days ago, but…”

*It’s not your fault,* Ike said as he joined the two men. *You tried to stop him.* He put a hand on William’s shoulder. *If it wasn’t for you, Buck wouldn’t be here. Thank you.*

Teaspoon translated. Cody, Kid, Lou, and Jimmy all added their thanks. “Too bad you didn’t get a chance to talk to him earlier,” said Kid. “Maybe you would have been able to stop the whole thing.”

William sighed. “I feel like I’ve let everyone down,” he said. “I mean if I only would have checked before going to the fort to make my report, Buck might never have been shot and Father might still be alive.”

“The boys are right,” said Teaspoon. “You had no way of knowing what was going on. Still,” he paused, “It just seems strange that he’d make himself known the way he did if he was planning on killing the boy.” He shrugged and turned to the opening door.

“He should be fine with a bit of rest,” Doc said as he pulled the door closed behind him.

As the doctor was leaving, Jackson rode into the yard. He ignored William as he went up to Sam. “I feel like I have to tell you that Matthew Jackson came here hoping to locate his child from a time he’d rather have forgotten about. He asked me to find the boy, but I had no idea this is what he had planned.” He glanced around at the faces. “Seems he read a story by one of your riders that mentioned the existence of a boy whose mother was a Kiowa that was violated by a white man,” he continued. “He did some figuring and came to the conclusion that the child was the result of a rash decision he’d made about 15 years ago. He told me he wanted to set things right so I came looking. I had no idea this is what he had planned.”

Sam studied the man before them. “When did he get into town?” he asked.

“As far as I know a couple of days ago,” Jackson said. “But Matthew could be a very devious person when he wanted to be,” he added. “I’ve known him to keep himself hidden for days, right in the middle of town when he’s wanted to gather information. It’s possible he was here a long time before he showed up in town.”

Sam thanked the man. “I guess we just didn’t notice him until he wanted to be noticed,” Sam said to the others. He turned to William, “Thank you for letting us know as quickly as you did. I’m sorry about your father.”

William nodded. “It couldn’t be helped,” he said. “Father and I were never really close,” he said. “I’m not sure why, but he never seemed to care for me.” He stood to leave. “I will need to be taking him home if that’s alright. I owe it to my grandfather to let him bury his son as he sees fit.” He paused and worked to bring the tears to his eyes. “Would it be allowable for me not to give all the details of his death? I’d hate to shame my grandfather just because my father was a fool.”

“I don’t see why it would matter,” he said. “He’s not going to be able to hurt anyone else, and I guess we owe you that much for all you’ve done.”

Emma came outside just in time to hear Sam’s remark. She went to William. “You tell your grandfather whatever story you want,” she said. “No one here will ever say different.” She gave William a hug. “Thank you so much for bring Buck back to us; I’m not sure what we would have done if we lost him.”

The others once more chimed in with their thanks. William apologized once more and took his leave. He and Jackson rode back into town together. “That was very nicely done,” William said. “I especially liked the part about being about to hide in the open; that was a wonderful touch.”

“It’s the truth,” Jackson said. “Where do you think he got all that money he was trying to give away? It’s not from your mother’s family; it’s from all those other men she spent time with. While most of them didn’t mind the rumors, they definitely didn’t want anyone to be able to prove they were true.” He spurred his horse ahead of William. As much as he had liked the older Jackson, he couldn’t stand the cold, calculated greed of the younger one.

William caught up with the older man. “I have one more thing I need you to do,” he said. “I want you to accompany father’s body back to Johnson City. Tell Grandfather that I’ll explain everything when I return in another day or two; I have some business I need to tend to here, and then I’ll need to get permission to leave my post.”

Jackson agreed when William once more produced the wad of cash and paid him twice what he would usually get for his efforts. It didn’t really trouble him to take the man who’d been his most loyal customer back home; what bothered him was the fact that no one would ever know the truth about what happened here. Everyone was going to believe whatever story William told them, and Jackson was certain it wouldn’t paint a nice picture of Matthew; he was all too aware of the fact that there was no love-loss between the two men.

“I’ll take him to your Grandfather’s house so he can make arrangements,” Jackson said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me; I have to prepare for my journey home.” He once more took his leave of the younger man – happy to be rid of his company.

Chapter Seven

William went to the fort and explained the situation to his commanding officer. “If you have no objections,” he said after telling his version of the events, “I’d like to be stationed back at my old fort. I think it would be wise for me to be near my grandfather at this time. My father was he last surviving son, and I’ve heard he took the death of my uncle pretty hard.”

The major agreed to make the arrangements. “It will take a day of two to get the orders approved,” he said. “I need to clear it with the man in charge there, but I don’t see why you shouldn’t plan of making the change.”

William thanked him and made his way back to Sweetwater to await the news of his transfer. He spent much of the next few days feigning concern over Buck’s well-being while he kept an eye on the boy in order to make sure he didn’t give a different version of the events. William didn’t think he would have any trouble convincing everyone that Buck was confused, but he was hoping he wouldn’t have to find out.

Finally, the day came when Buck woke up and was aware of his surroundings. Emma assisted him with a drink of water. “You gave us a real scare,” she said as she helped him lay his head back on the pillow.

Buck just nodded. The words of his tormentor still ringing in his ears – even his best friend has left town without having found him. He turned away from Emma not sure he wanted to ask the question that was tearing at his heart. Finally he took a deep breath and spoke, “Where’s everyone else?”

Emma smiled at him. “They’re doing the chores Mr. Spoon insisted needed to be done. I think he didn’t want them all in here just watching you sleep so that you were able to get the rest you needed.” She brushed a piece of hair off his face. “One of them will be in here in just a second or so to check on you,” she continued. “I think they take turns in order to keep me from suspecting what it is they’re up to.”

As she finished speaking, the door slowly opened and Lou poked her head inside. “I was wondering…Oh good, you’re awake,” she said coming all the way in the building. “I can’t remember what it was I’m supposed to be looking for,” she explained as she made her way to Buck’s side. She smiled down at him, “But now that you’re awake it doesn’t matter.” She turned to leave, “You feel up to visiting with Ike? He really, really wants to talk to you.”

Buck nodded. “I think I can talk to him for a bit,” he said. He tried not to let the words he’d heard before getting shot resurface, but he couldn’t stop them. He managed to keep his hurt and disappointment from showing when Ike came and sat beside him.

*I’m sorry,* Ike said. *If I’d ridden faster, we might have known who to look for and found you before you got shot.*

Buck just stared at Ike. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “How would you have known who to follow? I don’t even know who it is that took me; I’m not sure why.”

Ike explained. *A man showed up accusing us of not caring because we weren’t all out tracking. Sam had figured out the first day we knew you were missing that if too many of us went out at a time we’d just get in each other’s way. He organized a team approach and two of us went to different areas each day – searching for any type of clue. We could sort of tell where you’d gone missing, but then the tracks just vanished. Anyway, when this man showed up, Sam sent me to find out about him.* He stopped speaking and hung his head.

“Who was he?” asked Buck.

*His name was Matthew Johnson; turns out he’s William’s father. He read Cody’s book and thought he was your father,* Ike paused. He knew that Buck didn’t like to talk about his father or how he’d come into existence. When Buck didn’t react, Ike continued, *He hired some investigator to find you and then you vanished.*

Buck glanced away from Ike before asking, “So you didn’t stop looking?”

Ike waited for Buck to look at him once more. *We never stopped looking. What makes you ask that?*

Buck replied, “The last thing I remember in the cave was there were two men. They were arguing about what to do with me and the one I never saw said something about putting me out of my misery by shooting me. He said that everyone quit looking after one day and that you even left town unconcerned. I didn’t want to believe him, but it seemed like I’d been there forever and…”

Ike cut in, *No one had found you yet. I would have thought the same thing if it was me in your place.* He waited a bit before adding, *I want you to know that I’ll never stop looking for you if you go missing. I’m pretty sure none of the others would either.*

Buck smiled weakly at Ike. “Thank you,” he said. He turned away so that Ike couldn’t see the relief he felt at knowing his friend was really his friend. He tried to shift in the bed, but had to stop as the pain in his ribs flowed through him.

Ike waited until Buck’s breathing steadied. *I think I need to leave and let you rest some more.*

Buck nodded.

As he stood, Ike got Buck’s attention for one last thing. *William really wants to talk to you and be sure you’re going to be alright. He has to leave in the morning. Do you think you could talk to him?”

Buck nodded. He didn’t know what he was going to say to this man. If what everyone was telling him was true, he was only alive because William had killed his own father. If what his father thought was true really was the truth, he and this William were kin. Buck wasn’t sure he wanted any kin on that side of his family.

William entered and smiled at Emma. He made his way to Buck’s bedside. He sat down feeling fairly safe from Buck recognizing him as the man from the cave. “I wanted to see how you were doing before I left,” he said.

Buck turned to face the man who had saved him. As he did, his eyes caught sight of William’s boots. The special monogram design on the top of them caused him to pull back. He moved his eyes from William’s legs to his face, he didn’t try to hide feelings of hate and contempt he felt.

William noticed how Buck had looked at his boots first. He settled in close to him, placing his hand over Buck’s mouth to keep the younger man from speaking. “I guess you’ve figured out exactly who put you in that cave, haven’t you?”

Buck nodded, but didn’t try to move away.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving, but I can come back to take care of finishing what I started there if I need to.” He glanced over at Emma as she prepared the evening meal. “I’d hate for something to happen to any of your friends, or Miss Shannon here,” he said.

He removed his hand. “You understand what I mean? Everyone is happy with the story I’ve told them. Let’s just keep it that way.”

Buck nodded once more.

“Good,” said William. “Now, I’m going to explain before I leave that on further investigation I fairly certain that Father was not the man who…”

Buck cut in, “Took my mother.” He stared coldly at William.

“That will do for the lack of a better description,” William said. “Anyway, he’s not the man so he’s not your father and that means you are not now, or ever will be, my brother.”

“That’s fine with me,” said Buck. “I don’t want anything to do with that part of my heritage.”

“Excellent,” said William. “I’m glad to know we understand each other.” He stood. “I’m happy to see you’re doing better,” he said so Emma could hear him. “I just wanted to say good-bye and to let you know that I’m sorry I couldn’t help you sooner.” He left, tipping his head to Emma on the way out.

Buck rolled over and feigned sleep so no one would bother him. He was glad to know that William didn’t want to start up a relationship, to try to make excuses for his father’s behavior, or to be a family. He was relieved to know that the older man was not going to stay in the area; Buck wasn’t sure how he would have handled knowing the truth about the man, but not being able to tell anyone for fear of getting one of his friends hurt or killed.

After William’s departure, things around the station slowly returned to normal. Eventually Buck was able to get up and start doing small tasks to help Emma and Teaspoon. One afternoon when he was sitting on the porch of Emma’s house helping her with snapping peas for the evening’s meal, Teaspoon made his way across the yard to join him.

As Teaspoon took a seat on the porch steps next to Buck, Emma stood and took the bowl from Buck. “I think we have enough for now,” she said. She smiled at Teaspoon as she turned to leave. Buck moved to stand and go with her, but she shook her head. “Stay here and visit with Mr. Spoon,” she said. “I’ll call if I need anymore help; I’m sure you’re tired of doing all this woman’s work.”

Buck settled back onto the porch step. “I sort of enjoy getting to work with you,” he said. “It’s a bit like being back in the village.”

“How’s that?” asked Teaspoon.

“I spent a lot of time helping my mother because I wasn’t allowed to do much else,” he said. “I know it was supposed to be a type of punishment for me, but it really wasn’t. I liked spending time with her; she taught me many things.”

Emma smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear that,” she said. “I have a feeling that our time together is about to end.” She went into the house so Teaspoon could have a chance to talk to Buck about what had happened.

Buck turned to face Teaspoon. “Is she right?” he asked.

The older man nodded. “I think so. Doc is planning on stopping by this evening to give you another check-up. If things go as well as he thinks they will, you’ll be cleared to start riding again.”

Buck smiled. “That’s good news,” he said. “I do miss getting to get away from the station. I mean, I really like working with Emma, but sometimes I just want to be alone and I can’t do that here.”

Teaspoon once more nodded. “I know exactly how you feel,” he said. He sat back and looked across the yard to where the other boys and Lou were working on the corral fence. As their teasing and complaining made its way across the space, Teaspoon cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your adventure,” he said.

Buck simply glanced at him and then turned his face back to the yard and the other riders.

Teaspoon sighed. He’d known this wasn’t going to be an easy talk, but he felt it was important for Buck to talk things out. “You seem to be healing well,” Teaspoon tried again.

Buck shifted his gaze until he was looking at Teaspoon. “I’m fine,” he said. “You just said so yourself; Doc is coming tonight to give his approval.”

“No major aches or pains?” Teaspoon asked.

Buck shook his head. “I haven’t really had anything hurting since about the third day I was allowed to get up and move around.” He paused. “I still get tired, but I think that’s because I don’t have anything to do as much as it is anything else.”

Teaspoon agreed. He once more sat quietly watching the activities of the yard for a few minutes. Finally, he tired again. “You given any thought to what was said about Matthew Johnson being your fa…”

Buck interrupted, “I don’t have a father,” he said. “A father is someone who is there to care for you; the man who took my mother didn’t even stay to be sure she was alright once he finished with her.” He turned to look Teaspoon straight in the eye. “I don’t need a father, a white brother, or any more family.”

When Teaspoon started to speak, Buck held up his hand and shook his head to indicate that he wasn’t finished. “My mother and brother helped me to become a man, and I have you and the other riders for my family now. I don’t need anything else.”

Teaspoon put a hand on Buck’s knee. “I’m glad to hear you feel that way,” he said. “I was a bit worried that you might want to go and see…”

Buck once more interrupted. “I don’t ever want to see that man again,” he said. “The best day of my life was when he left Sweetwater.” He paused. “I know everyone else thinks he’s a hero, but…” he let the sentence drop. He took a deep breath to keep himself for telling Teaspoon what he believed to be the truth about his ‘adventure’ as Teaspoon called it. “Having him around reminds me of what happened. I want to put it behind me and having him here would make that difficult.”

Teaspoon gave Buck’s knee a pat. “I understand,” he said. “I just thought we needed to discuss it.”

Buck nodded. “Thanks for understanding.” He stood. “Do you think it would be alright if I went and gave them a little help?” he asked pointing to where Ike and Lou were starting to move the horses back into the corral.

“Go ahead, Son,” Teaspoon said. “I think they’d appreciate that a whole bunch.”

Buck smiled at Teaspoon and turned to make his way across the yard. As he watched Buck join the others, Teaspoon realized the boy had been right. He didn’t need any other family – especially one that wasn’t excited about having you – the one he had here was just fine.

The End

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